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[HappyDancer 7]

Coria,

You have every right to feel that way. Every person who is willing to share the rest of his/her life with the person they love would do the odds of only God can understand. But hey, that's the way things are. I totally understand how you feel. i have been there myself. Ex-fiance proposed the day after New Year 2007, planned on a simple and very private wedding... after 6 months, he just totally lost interest and he is now simply a memory of the past and still a very good friend.

And who would have thought that only two months after we broke up, my soulmate would come for me... seeking me and now we are in this whole waiting game together. It's not easy. It's never easy. But you will survive. Cry your heart out and even indulge in the self pity... Your heart will eventually grow tired of it and then one day you'll be ready to move on.

God bless you and you are in my prayers...

Thanks for all your responses!!!

I could not sleep very well last night either.

I just wonder how this could have happened and how long he will need to finally give me an answer.

I also do not know how to behave? What should I say, I am confused...

It is so hard to see that there is no I LOVE YOU in his messages no more.

I wish I could understand what is going on with him but I just dont and I am so sorry.

I have not looked for a job and all I ever wanted was to live with him and have a good time together.

I know you might think I am stubborn but I just can't imagine to have any other guy but him.

He has been so caring and nice and has always tried to do his best.

Thanks again to all of you.

[2manypapers 0]

((((((Coria))))))

My heart goes out to you, truly.

Long distance relationships have their own special problems, especially when you can't sit down and talk face to face, but combined with the nerve wracking process of the visa, it can produce a great deal of insecurities for one or both parties.

I know you are feeling bad and probably in a bit of shock, spend some time doing things that give you peace and happiness. Lean on your family and friends for support, then begin moving forward again with plans for your life.

Silence is a powerful answer and motivator and he needs time to miss you. If he is going to come back, it has to be because he realizes that his life is incomplete without you at his side.

I don't want to give you false hope, but giving him a few weeks of no contact while he works through his confusion, so that he 'feels' his decision to end your relationship may be the best way to approach this.

No one can predict if he will come back or not, but for him to stop saying that he loves you is a big flag and one you cannot ignore.

Sadly, love is not always enough.

You have friends here too, so keep us updated, all of us know that you are in deep pain.

2manypapers

I

[Chelle62 0]

Coria,

I have been in this same situation. Alot know my story but I am going to tell you it. My guy came to america from England to be with me in august of 07. We got a lawyer and decided to go with the marriage and then file the paperwork needed. We was told that he could stay with me in the states while the process was being done as long as he didnt leave the country. The plans was to be married on may3,08.

On May 2 , he was to meet me in the city for my birthday celebration with my girls. I waited for him for 5 hours, calling his cell phone every 5 minutes, it was shut off. Finally after phoning all the hospitals in the area, thinking he had been in a car accident it hit me that something was really bad. I went to the bus station to see if my car was there , thinking maybe he had left but it wasnt. I went to the airport to see if my car was there, my daughter tried his cell one last time and he picked up, he told her he was out of the country, she knew he wasnt as he was on a tracfone which doesnt work out of the country but what he had meant was that he was in customs. He got scared, cold feet what ever you want to call it and just jumped on a plane without any notice, note or anything. As he was considered a over stay at this point there was no turning back. My heart broke, I crashed big time. I fell to the ground and my girls had to pick me up, I ran through the airport screaming his name, thinking he was still there but in reality he was already in boston at this time.

The next day I went to our wedding, hoping that he had just rented a car and was driving around, thinking that he had cold feet and would really show up and sweep me off my feet and take all the pain away. He didnt show of course as he was already back in England. When I returned home my phone was ringing and it was him. I cried so hard when I heard his voice and so did he. He knew what he had done but didnt understand why he had done it. He said he lost all train of thought and reason and just walked away. There was a couple of times that he turned back before he actually got to customs, and he actually went back to the car and was going to come to the place to meet me but when he got there he remembered that he had locked the keys inside of the car and there was no way out , his thoughts was that he couldnt call me because I would know what his plans were so he ran. He was selfish yes and he hurt me very deeply with his choices.

I loved him so much that I didnt care what he had done, I needed him and I needed to know that he still loved me and wanted me. I made some really silly choices, I got on a plane , gave up my home, left my family , left 2 jobs just to be with him. I have been in England now for almost 6 months with him. Its been rough , but I have no regrets because I needed to at least try to make our relationship work as I didnt want to always wonder what if? I needed to know that I had done everything in my power to be with the man that I love.

I go home in 2 weeks, he cant go with me because the visa isnt finished. He says after paying some bills and the visa comes he will come home, I dont know if he will or not. I am worried that he will change his mind again, there is no way of knowing but if he does and he chooses to give up on us then at least I know in my heart that I tried.

I am sorry this has happened to you , I pray that everything will turn out the way you want it to and that you and your guy will be happy. Do what you feel is best for you , if its going there then do it , if its waiting for a reply then do it.. take the time you need and do what is best for YOU... I have a saying that I have always believed in , when I went through this I didnt follow it but now that I am leaving unsure if he will follow I have to believe and that saying is .... If you love someone set them free, If they return its meant to be. when I get on that plane , it will be the hardest thing that I have to do because I will not know for sure if it is goodbye or just see you soon. If its meant to be Keith will come home as soon as he can, if it isnt then he wont. I will hurt yes but I will survive as we are all survivors..

You are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you all the best.

Chelle

[coria1988 0]

I don't want to give you false hope, but giving him a few weeks of no contact while he works through his confusion, so that he 'feels' his decision to end your relationship may be the best way to approach this.

What do you mean with the following:

"His decision to end your relationship may be the best way to approach this"? Approach what?

[sasha414 0]

Coria,

I have been in this same situation. Alot know my story but I am going to tell you it. My guy came to america from England to be with me in august of 07. We got a lawyer and decided to go with the marriage and then file the paperwork needed. We was told that he could stay with me in the states while the process was being done as long as he didnt leave the country. The plans was to be married on may3,08.

On May 2 , he was to meet me in the city for my birthday celebration with my girls. I waited for him for 5 hours, calling his cell phone every 5 minutes, it was shut off. Finally after phoning all the hospitals in the area, thinking he had been in a car accident it hit me that something was really bad. I went to the bus station to see if my car was there , thinking maybe he had left but it wasnt. I went to the airport to see if my car was there, my daughter tried his cell one last time and he picked up, he told her he was out of the country, she knew he wasnt as he was on a tracfone which doesnt work out of the country but what he had meant was that he was in customs. He got scared, cold feet what ever you want to call it and just jumped on a plane without any notice, note or anything. As he was considered a over stay at this point there was no turning back. My heart broke, I crashed big time. I fell to the ground and my girls had to pick me up, I ran through the airport screaming his name, thinking he was still there but in reality he was already in boston at this time.

The next day I went to our wedding, hoping that he had just rented a car and was driving around, thinking that he had cold feet and would really show up and sweep me off my feet and take all the pain away. He didnt show of course as he was already back in England. When I returned home my phone was ringing and it was him. I cried so hard when I heard his voice and so did he. He knew what he had done but didnt understand why he had done it. He said he lost all train of thought and reason and just walked away. There was a couple of times that he turned back before he actually got to customs, and he actually went back to the car and was going to come to the place to meet me but when he got there he remembered that he had locked the keys inside of the car and there was no way out , his thoughts was that he couldnt call me because I would know what his plans were so he ran. He was selfish yes and he hurt me very deeply with his choices.

I loved him so much that I didnt care what he had done, I needed him and I needed to know that he still loved me and wanted me. I made some really silly choices, I got on a plane , gave up my home, left my family , left 2 jobs just to be with him. I have been in England now for almost 6 months with him. Its been rough , but I have no regrets because I needed to at least try to make our relationship work as I didnt want to always wonder what if? I needed to know that I had done everything in my power to be with the man that I love.

I go home in 2 weeks, he cant go with me because the visa isnt finished. He says after paying some bills and the visa comes he will come home, I dont know if he will or not. I am worried that he will change his mind again, there is no way of knowing but if he does and he chooses to give up on us then at least I know in my heart that I tried.

I am sorry this has happened to you , I pray that everything will turn out the way you want it to and that you and your guy will be happy. Do what you feel is best for you , if its going there then do it , if its waiting for a reply then do it.. take the time you need and do what is best for YOU... I have a saying that I have always believed in , when I went through this I didnt follow it but now that I am leaving unsure if he will follow I have to believe and that saying is .... If you love someone set them free, If they return its meant to be. when I get on that plane , it will be the hardest thing that I have to do because I will not know for sure if it is goodbye or just see you soon. If its meant to be Keith will come home as soon as he can, if it isnt then he wont. I will hurt yes but I will survive as we are all survivors..

You are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you all the best.

Chelle

beautiful story, heart wrenching but beautiful. may you be blessed all your life and find the answers youve been looking for.

[canadian_wife 1,829]

I am so sorry you are going through such a difficult time. I agree with 2many when she said to leave him be for a while. When he actually realizes the extent of his decisions, he may feel differently about this. I think that is the best way to approach this situtation. At least he was honest with you, it shows he does care about you and I am glad that he did it before you left your family so now you have a support network.

Good luck!

How old are you buy the way?

[coria1988 0]

@ ChelleKeith

Thanks for sharing your story.

I just hope he realizes how great you are and what you did for him.

I really hope that it works out for you.

@ canadian_wife

I am 20 years old.

[Chelle62 0]

@ ChelleKeith

Thanks for sharing your story.

I just hope he realizes how great you are and what you did for him.

I really hope that it works out for you.

@ canadian_wife

I am 20 years old.

aww thankyou hun, The reason I posted my story to you is to let you know there is always hope. Some may say I was stupid and still am waiting around for him but its ok because its my choice. I do believe that men do get scared and sometimes it is easier for them to run and hide rather then face it head on. Women do this too so am not putting men down as I love men hehe...

Give him some time , let him feel what it is like without you. I dont agree that you should stop altogether, I feel you should send a daily email that maybe just says, I hope your ok, I am here waiting for you and I love you simple as that.. Dont ask questions even though I know how much you need answers right now but to much pressure might turn him away ... Get your visa, You have 6 months , I really feel he will come around and he will remember the times you have shared and how much he loves you.

I have a daughter older then you and my advice to her would be the same that I just gave you. I would tell her to let him come to you so that you know he loves you. I didnt do that, I didnt take my own advice, I ran to him and now somedays I wonder if he really does love me, she gave me the advice that I am giving you now, I should have listened. But.. I am returning home and if he follows then I know in my heart its for good.

Sweetie stay strong, keep busy and pray that god fixes this for you in what ever way he feels is right. I have placed all of my situation in gods hands now and I will accept whatever is meant to be. I think alot of us go through this same thing with a long distance relationship. People get doubts and people get scared but if you love him , you will wait and if things change and you meet someone else along the way then so be it . I know your not looking because you love your man so much, you can feel it in your words. Remember one thing.;.. We cant change what happened yesterday as it has already happened.. We cant see what tomorrow will be because its not here yet.. we can only have control over today

I send you all the support I can and big hugs to get you through this time. Dont give up HOPE its all we have right now.

much love

Chelle

[Kiv 32]

Coria,

I think like they said before, is his move.

You have'nt done anything bad, so let him figure out how to fix this.

If he does not fix it... is his loss and you will thank him latter.

[shefellfromheaven 18]

We pray that you find total peace in this trying times.

There will be moments of sorrow but sure joy comes in the morning. Im glad your concience is clear, you gave in your best in the relatioship and at this point you feel so let down by the person you opened your heart to and completely trusted. No matter wht the outcome is, pls forgive him totally and release them . When everthinh in you wants to hold a grudge, point a finger and remebering the pain , God wants to lay it all side.

Time heals the pain and wounds, gives time for total REFLECTION of our conscience, I pray you have the inner peace no matter the outcome. Have a positive attitude at all times and CORIA for sure JOY will come.

I pray tht you have peace , you forgive TOTally, its not instant since its the first step of healing. Have an open mind and know we are here for you.

You are in our prayers - Jaqi

[ILovemy Dogs 0]

Hello everyone,

I am really upset. As I tend to over exagerate I would like to know what you think about the following message:

hey we need to talk its bad you are not going to like it and i am really sorry but you are going to hate me for it

I will talk to you tomorrow afternoon ok

What do you guys think about that?

I do not have a good feeling at all...

I love my baby...

Btw, it was him (my fiancé) who sent me that....

Hi Coria,,

I just saw your post this morning and I was talking to my Fiance at that time,, I sent to him the link and he read your post and the answers on it,,

he is on Military too,,

I ask him if your bf will be deployed thats why he do that,,but my baby said it's not,,

he thinks and knew after he read your post that he had another girl or he has a problem about him that he can't tell you,,

I just want to tell everyone that not all the ARMY man are like thaT, I'm so lucky I have him in my life,,the thing thats important in a couple thats on a long distance relationship is TRUST TO EACH OTHER..

Well Coria,,I hope everything will be ok with you,,

Im so sorry about your situation now,there is just another reason why it happens,maybe he is not a guy for you,,

but well,Good luck to that guy!!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

March 15,2008-----------met my soldier online

September 1-22,2008-----first time together in Philippines

November 7,2008---------NOA1 Touched

November 15,2008--------NOA1 (hardcopy) by mail

[Chelle62 0]

I have to say this and I am sorry if I am out of line here but... None of us know what is going through his head at this time. None of us know if he has another girl and I think it is so unfair for someone to say this, Coria is going through a very hard time right now and she needs our support not us making accusations and causing her more pain. If this was me I wouldnt want to read that he might have someone else , I wouldnt want to read that he is mean or cruel , I would want to read that everyone is here for me and that I will be ok...

Coria, dont listen to the words of another woman, right now you dont know what is wrong and I know you have so many thoughts running through your head but stay positive, send positive thoughts to the universe and positive things will come back to you.

People get confused , people get scared as I have said all along .. that doesnt mean there is another girl .. geeesh.. If it turns out in the end that this is his reason then you will have to deal with it then but not right now. Take care of you sweetie. My heart goes out to you

huggs

Chelle

[coria1988 0]

I am at work and should not write on here but I cant think of anything else.

I am sure about him not having any other girl. That's what he tells me and I believe him when saying that. Why would he want to talk to me if he had another girl? Well, I do believe him that he has no other woman it is just so hard to hear that he is not sure about his feelings to me.

I have felt so bad...I cried yesterday at work but here in my department nobody realized it and today I just looked sad, at least I think so. A woman asked me "What's wrong?" and in that moment I could not keep it back no more, I just had to start crying. I really feel weird when crying here at work and I just hope for the hours to pass by fast...

[coria1988 0]

Oh, thank you ChelleKeith.

That is so nice of you.

I really do not want to hear that he has another woman, but I do not just say that I belive that he has not another woman because I do not want it to be like that. No! Because I know that he does not have one. 180% sure

When I read those posts, I just want to thank you all for giving me advice and helping me go through this. He will call me tonight...I think I will feel a bit weird when talking to him, but I am looking forward to hearing his voice. It has been some weeks since we last talked.

Edited November 18, 2008 by coria1988

[shefellfromheaven 18]

Coria , I can relate to your feelings at this point.

I pray that you feel better and stronger and know youa re not alone. We are here to listen , to talk and share you pain. Let you heart not be trouble so much. We are here for you anytime. Be strong girl, and always rember there is a reason for everthing, dont despair.