You know you're in a MENA relationship when....

[PlatyPius 5]

I knew from the second I saw the title of this thread it was going to turn into a disaster...

Plenty of those things Platy said are true of plenty of people (HEY a generalization! like the reason this whole thread was made in the first place... to list generalizations!).

I'm the one who started this thread, and I've already said the purpose of this was to make people laugh. I guess I didn't realize it was going to "turn into a disaster" because I hope for the best from people. Stupid me.

Have you done research to see how many people those 'generalizations' actually apply to? And even if some of them really DO apply (who gets to decide how many is "plenty"?), was there really a reason to be nasty and call the USCs in the MENA couples "stupid" for pronouncing something wrong - especially in such a hard to pronounce language like Arabic? No one is perfect when learning something new. I can't believe that especially someone married or engaged to someone from another country would criticize someone for their attempts at speaking a new language. Although, maybe Platy doesn't know any other languages other than English. Americans are called stupid because most only know English, but when they try to speak another language, they're still stupid?? I don't

think people who are trying to learn English are stupid or sound stupid. What's wrong with trying to learn a new language anyway?

Other than that one, none of those generalizations apply to me. And I don't care if they apply to others. Why should I?

Your purpose was to make people laugh. So was mine. Those of us who have been on VJ for a while have watched new MENA girls come in, suddenly become Muslim, ask inane questions like "Is Coast bath soap haraam?", and other amusing things. So, I'd say the majority of people in this topic have laughed. A few who are a little insecure have gotten irate. Which amuses many of us, too. Because then we get to know who sees themself in those 4 items. Which provides even MORE fun and excitement as we then talk about you in private for the duration of your stay on VJ. If you're lucky, you might even become an internet meme! Or, in the case of narnia, narina, or whatever the hell her name was - you might even lose every single bit of credibility you had. She may not know it yet, but she is DONE on VJ. Only the submoronic will believe anything she says. That made me laugh....watching her self-destruct. I love it when people bring about their own destruction. So, you see, your purpose is still valid. This thread has made me laugh.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I totally agree with you Turia! However, I will say this "platy" guy really has no business making assumptions and starting stuff he knows nothing about. After all, the title of this post is "you know you're in a MENA relationship when...."

Ummmmm, I'm not trying to start anything, and I'm not defending Platy because he can stick up for himself, but what he did point out does have some validity around here, you might just not have been around that long to have read it or noticed it yet.

Remember, this might be the MENA forum, but people from allover VJ read this forum because it has been widely known that although the MENA ladies can be super tight, they are also the greatest flame throwers against their own. In essence, people on this board can be their own worst enemies. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing to seek comfort amongst those who might have some experience as to what you're going through. Platy didn't have to make any assumptions, because for so long the ladies in this forum have laid it all on the table and shown their cards to all of VJ. The things he brought up are well known around these parts because women have shared them or taken those characteristics upon themselves. It might not be true for all MENA ladies, but for a few they are. Just pay attention, you'll see.

alot of us feel bad after we flame...yes, some do revert and know NOTHING about Islam....and marry and know NOTHING about the culture or even their husband. I knew tons about the culture and country....7 years worth and still went on a ride. When you are in love, love does that. But it didnt color me on culture

Do mena men use americans for papers? Yes. Does it happen everytime?No.Do cultural walls come up?Yes. Is their a distorted view of the western woman in mena that perpetuates abuse against us? Yes. I think so MANY have adjusted status that way or changed their lives on our backs that its almost SAINTLY when they dont do that. Do I know very many mixed long term mena marriages after 7 years in Islam and around the masjids? No. I dont. I know several Americans with MENA children but their not married but that may be because I dont know enough. Why warn people? Well if someone is getting screwed over and they hear your voice talking and recounting, at least they wont feel alone. I do not think every mena marriage is doomed. I DO think that their are issues that will come up, especially with kids,,,grief that will arise...Kids are not protection from divorce or getting used. There are lots of used with kids...I know a couple of mixed marriages with no kids that have survived

But with a numbers game, play,,,,live your life,,,,dont accept crappy treatment....and dont incur debt because of the guy///no matter how much you love him, dont incur debt. Protect your investments...as if you were marrying an american...Just know the man as much as you can..

The problem with advice is that the man throws red flags and none of us want to either take the advice or we get conned by the so into not accepting it or believing it.

Ganja as far as the person mentioned,,,I have been in catastrophic grief.......divorce may still take place but it will be several months from now...I have lost at least 25 percent of my body weight and have not seen a family member since the funeral . Its been rough beyond rough and yes, there are HUGE differences between american culture and mena and dont you forget it, any of u. Its not isolated,its huge differences

I loved my husband with faults and flags. I am grieving in ways that will never be explainable. Be in love,,,be crazy in love...but protect yourself financially and know who your american friends are...ull need them for love and support no matter HOW things turn out

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I knew from the second I saw the title of this thread it was going to turn into a disaster...

Plenty of those things Platy said are true of plenty of people (HEY a generalization! like the reason this whole thread was made in the first place... to list generalizations!).

I'm the one who started this thread, and I've already said the purpose of this was to make people laugh. I guess I didn't realize it was going to "turn into a disaster" because I hope for the best from people. Stupid me.

Have you done research to see how many people those 'generalizations' actually apply to? And even if some of them really DO apply (who gets to decide how many is "plenty"?), was there really a reason to be nasty and call the USCs in the MENA couples "stupid" for pronouncing something wrong - especially in such a hard to pronounce language like Arabic? No one is perfect when learning something new. I can't believe that especially someone married or engaged to someone from another country would criticize someone for their attempts at speaking a new language. Although, maybe Platy doesn't know any other languages other than English. Americans are called stupid because most only know English, but when they try to speak another language, they're still stupid?? I don't

think people who are trying to learn English are stupid or sound stupid. What's wrong with trying to learn a new language anyway?

Other than that one, none of those generalizations apply to me. And I don't care if they apply to others. Why should I?

Your purpose was to make people laugh. So was mine. Those of us who have been on VJ for a while have watched new MENA girls come in, suddenly become Muslim, ask inane questions like "Is Coast bath soap haraam?", and other amusing things. So, I'd say the majority of people in this topic have laughed. A few who are a little insecure have gotten irate. Which amuses many of us, too. Because then we get to know who sees themself in those 4 items. Which provides even MORE fun and excitement as we then talk about you in private for the duration of your stay on VJ. If you're lucky, you might even become an internet meme! Or, in the case of narnia, narina, or whatever the hell her name was - you might even lose every single bit of credibility you had. She may not know it yet, but she is DONE on VJ. Only the submoronic will believe anything she says. That made me laugh....watching her self-destruct. I love it when people bring about their own destruction. So, you see, your purpose is still valid. This thread has made me laugh.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I knew from the second I saw the title of this thread it was going to turn into a disaster...

Plenty of those things Platy said are true of plenty of people (HEY a generalization! like the reason this whole thread was made in the first place... to list generalizations!).

I'm the one who started this thread, and I've already said the purpose of this was to make people laugh. I guess I didn't realize it was going to "turn into a disaster" because I hope for the best from people. Stupid me.

Have you done research to see how many people those 'generalizations' actually apply to? And even if some of them really DO apply (who gets to decide how many is "plenty"?), was there really a reason to be nasty and call the USCs in the MENA couples "stupid" for pronouncing something wrong - especially in such a hard to pronounce language like Arabic? No one is perfect when learning something new. I can't believe that especially someone married or engaged to someone from another country would criticize someone for their attempts at speaking a new language. Although, maybe Platy doesn't know any other languages other than English. Americans are called stupid because most only know English, but when they try to speak another language, they're still stupid?? I don't

think people who are trying to learn English are stupid or sound stupid. What's wrong with trying to learn a new language anyway?

Other than that one, none of those generalizations apply to me. And I don't care if they apply to others. Why should I?

Your purpose was to make people laugh. So was mine. Those of us who have been on VJ for a while have watched new MENA girls come in, suddenly become Muslim, ask inane questions like "Is Coast bath soap haraam?", and other amusing things. So, I'd say the majority of people in this topic have laughed. A few who are a little insecure have gotten irate. Which amuses many of us, too. Because then we get to know who sees themself in those 4 items. Which provides even MORE fun and excitement as we then talk about you in private for the duration of your stay on VJ. If you're lucky, you might even become an internet meme! Or, in the case of narnia, narina, or whatever the hell her name was - you might even lose every single bit of credibility you had. She may not know it yet, but she is DONE on VJ. Only the submoronic will believe anything she says. That made me laugh....watching her self-destruct. I love it when people bring about their own destruction. So, you see, your purpose is still valid. This thread has made me laugh.

Platypus,you are correct about some things but it is kind of unkind to come on a board u arent involved in and be critical and voyeuristic.Why laugh at vulnerability? last time I checked, being in love with ANYONE can make you stupid

[Staashi 371]

For your information Jacka$$ I was born a Muslim, didn't just marry a man whose religion I heard of a few times

Didn't buy him...actually, he bought me, with a $10,000 dowry check and tons of gold...see my wedding photos

Again, I don't see you posting your pictures, or your wife's pictures...I'm guessing you're nothing to look at. I'll take my tall, dark, handsome MENA man anyday over you! Oh, and please don't try and post em now...we'll know they're fake and it's not really you.

Oh, and why don't you go to the British forum then? Where you belong? Or are you like the small boy with his nose on the glass? Looking into the MENA world that you can never be a part of????

Narina, I was just thinking about this statement this morning. It is amazing what comes to you in a deep sleep. You could actually have some very serious problems with DHS because of this. In the issuance of family-based visas and greencards, there can be no transfer of property between the two parties. Your situation might be a dowry, but it is still a major appearance of impropriety and it might look like you were being paid to marry your husband so that you would give him a greencard. I just know that all of these issues will come up at the Visa interview with DOS, and his Adjustment of Status interview when he comes to the states.

One other thing, because it was $10,000 did you declare that to the IRS? You will have to do that and state the reason why you received those funds.

Just thoughts on a Monday morning. Good Luck!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

The thought was a cute idea and fun for (most) all becasue we can see ourselves in some of the thoughts...so dont use it to focus on one persons unfortunate situation. Every culture and location will have some little things that stand out amont its people, its fun to compare, dont use it as a sounding board for woe and misery we all know bad happens everywhere.

Wow i didnt go back far enough to read someone called someone JA thats uncalled for some people dont have a clue, come back after you been here few years and learn some manners

[brnidokiegurl 0]

c) Why is it "BUYING" a wife from Asia or Russia, but NOT buying a husband for YOU?

d) I never said that I didn't mean it. Because I do. The women in this forum that are guilty of the things I mentioned in my 4 items make me sick.

For your information Jacka$$ I was born a Muslim, didn't just marry a man whose religion I heard of a few times

Didn't buy him...actually, he bought me, with a $10,000 dowry check and tons of gold...see my wedding photos

Again, I don't see you posting your pictures, or your wife's pictures...I'm guessing you're nothing to look at. I'll take my tall, dark, handsome MENA man anyday over you! Oh, and please don't try and post em now...we'll know they're fake and it's not really you.

Oh, and why don't you go to the British forum then? Where you belong? Or are you like the small boy with his nose on the glass? Looking into the MENA world that you can never be a part of????

i see now.. real classy- for your info mags is one of the nicest people around here and i have seen pics she can hold her own...i think u have a lot to learn on here and you just came off as blowing smoke to most because no one cares about your money or gold and no one should ever admit to being bought and compare to who got the most, its in the contract does this mean one is worth more than someone else NO

[Imua 0]

I knew from the second I saw the title of this thread it was going to turn into a disaster...

Plenty of those things Platy said are true of plenty of people (HEY a generalization! like the reason this whole thread was made in the first place... to list generalizations!).

I'm the one who started this thread, and I've already said the purpose of this was to make people laugh. I guess I didn't realize it was going to "turn into a disaster" because I hope for the best from people. Stupid me.

Have you done research to see how many people those 'generalizations' actually apply to? And even if some of them really DO apply (who gets to decide how many is "plenty"?), was there really a reason to be nasty and call the USCs in the MENA couples "stupid" for pronouncing something wrong - especially in such a hard to pronounce language like Arabic? No one is perfect when learning something new. I can't believe that especially someone married or engaged to someone from another country would criticize someone for their attempts at speaking a new language. Although, maybe Platy doesn't know any other languages other than English. Americans are called stupid because most only know English, but when they try to speak another language, they're still stupid?? I don't

think people who are trying to learn English are stupid or sound stupid. What's wrong with trying to learn a new language anyway?

Other than that one, none of those generalizations apply to me. And I don't care if they apply to others. Why should I?

LOLz - reminds me of my ex who(after he dumped me) actually made fun of my attempts at learning and speaking Nepali - he really said 'you shouldn't speak until you can speak perfectly' - um, so why are you speaking crappy English then????

[Imua 0]

ok, I have a good one....

When people start asking.."sooo...are you gonna have to start wearing that thing on your head?"

Haha - the whole hijab issue reminds me of this nice Punjabi lady at work who, as soon as she found out I married Govi started asking me 'where's your bindi?' I had been wearing one at home and on the weekends but started wearing little ones to work everyday - no problem, nice to work at a super-liberal college and besides I already wear salwar so no surprise. I draw the line at wearing kumkum(red powder) in my hair part like my MIL except to temple but that too could change once G gets here. Kumkum is very symbolic of marriage in Nepali culture - the act of the groom putting kumkum in the bride's hair is like the Western bride and groom kissing as husband and wife. In Nepal G used to put it on me daily. On the day when I left G gave me a last gift which he told me to unwrap when I got home - it was a kumkum box . He said daily when I put it on to think that he is with me and I do put it on daily -at home - just don't want to go to work looking like I cut my scalp...

ok,

Very, very sweet.

I know - I miss him........

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

This thread was mildly amusing until Platy posted, then it got hilarious. You'd understand if you'd ever hung out with Brits, they have a culture of taking the piss and you have to be able to take it as well as you give it or they lose respect for you. I think alot of people in Mena like to dish it out but then can't take it. There's quite a few in Mena those four things he posted apply to, even to some that said it didn't. Quite a few in mena like to post negative things about America and non-muslims and then put on their rose colored glasses when discussing islam and muslim men then get angry when you point out the negatives they're in denial about or that they didn't notice because they were only there for a brief vacation. If you are going to discuss the ME culture, relationships, etc; I think both sides of the coin should be discussed, even in jest, otherwise how can you give good advice to people that might be in danger of being taken advantage of which is pretty common when muslim men pick western women.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

On the Dowry issue....You have to declare one when you get married, it is not an option. The judge in Jordan would not let me say " I didnt want one" So I made some ####### up and went on our way...seriously, hubbys money is my money, I dont need gifts, lol.

Alot of the "you know your married to an arab" crack me up. Do some of your hubbys really take 3 showers a day?? lol...I guess after Sofyan being here now for 3 years he has become quite americanized.

I think alot of you will be surprised when and if your spouse comes to america. Sofyan use to be semi conservative but that ended reaaal quick. It doesnt take much for them to sloowly start coming around. Its nice that I can finally enjoy an ice cold beer with my muslim husband

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

Alot of the "you know your married to an arab" crack me up. Do some of your hubbys really take 3 showers a day?? lol...I guess after Sofyan being here now for 3 years he has become quite americanized.

Well I thought my man was taking showers 3 times a day. But when he'd come out of the bathroom after an hour with dry hair I realized he was showering only every other day but washing his ### with the toilet hose for 45 long friggin minutes each time he did his business.

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

LMFAO!!!!!!!!

[venusfire503 54]

Platypus,you are correct about some things but it is kind of unkind to come on a board u arent involved in and be critical and voyeuristic.Why laugh at vulnerability? last time I checked, being in love with ANYONE can make you stupid

Why laugh at vulnerability? I'm sure there's some reason - just like the kids you knew in grade school who would tease others to make themselves feel better had their 'reasons'. Luckily, most of them (obviously not all) outgrow it once they finish puberty.

On a personal note, I know I haven't really talked to you, but I've read some of your posts. I want you to know that I think about you, and hope things get better for you soon. I can't imagine going through what you have/are and being able to still get up in the morning. I just wanted you to know that one more person out there cares, for what it's worth.

[venusfire503 54]

Alot of the "you know your married to an arab" crack me up. Do some of your hubbys really take 3 showers a day?? lol...I guess after Sofyan being here now for 3 years he has become quite americanized.

Well I thought my man was taking showers 3 times a day. But when he'd come out of the bathroom after an hour with dry hair I realized he was showering only every other day but washing his ### with the toilet hose for 45 long friggin minutes each time he did his business.

Hey, if someone is only going to wash one part, that should be the one!

Yes, my husband sometimes has showered 3 times a day. Not as much now that he's here, but he definitely did while still in Morocco. He's becoming a little Americanized, too!