Adjustment to the United States

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Mrs.Smith obviously u didn't know about ur Jamaican man...and Kelly did a good job at downsizing herself. U missed my point too..i take it ur husband has finally begun adjustment huh..it got to the level of disrespect b/c U allowed it !

Again Kelly's story is not one of adjustment!

And yes I am VERY serious..no one here knows me from ADAMS either

Happy u know her well enough to know that she is educated and sophisticated !

And I'm GLAD some of these so called veterans don't come here anymore!

Maybe they too never started adjustment after 4 yrs.

Everything is peaches and cream when ur in fantasy land !

[*JG* 2]

While Craig may be disrespecting, I disagree that it's not adjustment. It's a different locale, different people, different ways of doing things all along the way that effect everything. Adjustment is hard and it's a very long process for both people involved.

I never see the words MOST when I read. I see the possibilities exist.

I also don't agree with the word "allow". Things happen so subtly sometimes that you don't even know they are happening till it's too late.

Mrs. Smith, Nanny, and Luv...I appreciate your stories. I always feel like the hard stories that need to be told are not. I love LOVE stories and happy endings. But, I feel too many times the excitement of the issuance of a visa overshadows all common sense. Once couples come down from that euphoria and reality slaps them in the face, some need guidance. I have personally had issues over the last 3 years that I needed guidance on. Guess what? All the vets with helpful advice had disappeared. I had to seek out some JA's and even some on MENA threads. I miss the vets.

I often wonder why the one's with newly issued visas disappear completely as well. How's the adjustment process going? Why did they disappear completely? You can't tell me they have absolutely no time to get near a computer after he gets here. Makes me wonder.

[*JG* 2]

Wow, are u serious, Everyone of us come from a different background, and for Kelly's sake, she is nor a dummy or weak.....She is just sharing her story......................I believed that everything was going to be peaches and creams when my SO came here.............................sure it was for a while......................THIS IS NOT GENERALIZIZING JAMAICANS>CAuse best believe I LOVE MY HUSBAND .........................THIS is an educated, sophisticated woman that you are downsizing............................For the longest time, all i have seen on this thread is the sunshine and rainbow and feared sharing my story to be critized by people that don't know me from ADAM..... What use is this thread if you are going to pick apart everything...... She told her story as well as I did, just to share the darker side of things.....DO you think for one minute that we knew that it could get to a level of such disrespect...WE did marry a man from a country that is suppose to be all about the respect............Really no wonder why the VETRANS of the thread don't come on here as much.....

I hate the picking apart of the stories the most.

[*JG* 2]

Dang. These adjustment stories are frightening. As a person going through the K1 process, I'm struggling to know what to do after reading some of these posts. I guess for now, I'll share and discuss them with my SO.

It's things that have happened, nat. Not that HAVE to happen. It's always good to keep an open mind.

People have dealt with horrible issues on here and their relationship has survived. We can all learn from each other.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Abuse after 2-4yrs is not adjustment IMO!

So i guess all the so called newbies need to leave b/c we have nothing to offer if most are adjusting w/o abuse..

some ppl actually use this site for information and not entertainment..

U ladies need to be honest and acknowledge what Kelly had been going thru is ridiculous..as her friends!

And JG, like when u say things happen so subtly...u MUST realize after some time..there is no excuse !

[Mrs. Smith 0]

Abuse after 2-4yrs is not adjustment IMO!

So i guess all the so called newbies need to leave b/c we have nothing to offer if most are adjusting w/o abuse..

some ppl actually use this site for information and not entertainment..

U ladies need to be honest and acknowledge what Kelly had been going thru is ridiculous..as her friends!

And JG, like when u say things happen so subtly...u MUST realize after some time..there is no excuse !

No SWEET LADY, I am still with HUSBAND< AND LOVE HIM.........................................Nobody is raining on your parade, so how about u loose the attitude, and if you have no need to hear any of us talk about this, than don't read it........You seem to BE the ONLY ONE that has an issue with any one sharing there adjusment stories........

[SupportOAFJF 0]

no my girl..mi no ave no problem..mi just a bring u"ll foolish acts to sight...

glad ur still with ur husband..so am I

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Mrs. Smith, my inital response is to stay out of this and I will, but if you had to name one big adjustment that you and your husband had to deal with, what would it be. Also, would you say this problem was new to you, or had you dealt with some aspects of it in any previous relationship. Please don't make it genralized, it must be something that you felt didn't just come with the terriority of being married and adjusting to each other.

Please this question is not just for Mrs. Smith anyone else who feels they can share or add something of substance to this is welcome to respond.

Edited February 10, 2009 by RoxcieJoe

[Mrs. Smith 0]

no my girl..mi no ave no problem..mi just a bring u"ll foolish acts to sight...

glad ur still with ur husband..so am I

WHERE DO YOU SEE THE FOOLISHNESS.....PLEASE EXPLAIN......I WOULD SAY UR WORDS OF WISDOM ARE TO BE IGNORED, CAUSE YOU ARE DOING NOTHING BUT PICKING APART PEOPLE'S STORIES... IT IS PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT WILL CAUSE OTHERS NOT TO SHARE CUASE OF YOUR CONTINOUS SO CALLED KNOWLEDGE OF WHAT A MARRIAGE SHOULD BE..........

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

bway mi a tell unuh mi yei and mi ead a hat mi gane fi go mek sum tea

[Mrs. Smith 0]

Mrs. Smith, my inital response is to stay out of this and I will, but if you had to name one big adjustment that you and your husband had to deal with, what would it be. Also, would you say this problem was new to you, or had you dealt with some aspects of it in any previous relationship. Please don't make it genralized, it must be something that you felt didn't just come with the terriority of being married and adjusting to each other.

Please this question is not just for Mrs. Smith anyone wjho feels they can share or add something of concert to this is welcome to respond.

The ultimate issue, getting used to being around people that did not understand him when he would speak, and being married into a white woman's family.......

[nannygirl82 0]

I KNOW MY MAN NO INCLUDED INNA DIS ..AND MI AFFI TALK CAUSE HE'S A JAMAICAN ME..U TALK ABOUT UR OWN RELATIONSHIP..AND LET EVERYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THEIRS..I KNOW ALOT ALOT OF DECENT JAMAICAN, AMERICAN MEN...

YES I KNOW UR NOT TALKING ABOUT KASHI SPECIFICALLY BUT HE'S STILL A JAMAICAN

yes she has good points that happened to her..

I don't know if i believe how much love was in ur relationship Nanny/Luvtralin...how did love just go out the window over nite..

On my part there was a lot of love...and it didn't just leave over night...it was a very very hard choice for me to leave him. I knew I had to for the safety of myself and for my child.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Okay, so how could you'll have handle this differently if you had to do it all over agian. Now I would say for myself, every family culture have dirrences even here in the US. What was the upside of being married into a white family verus a black family?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I KNOW MY MAN NO INCLUDED INNA DIS ..AND MI AFFI TALK CAUSE HE'S A JAMAICAN ME..U TALK ABOUT UR OWN RELATIONSHIP..AND LET EVERYONE ELSE TALK ABOUT THEIRS..I KNOW ALOT ALOT OF DECENT JAMAICAN, AMERICAN MEN...

YES I KNOW UR NOT TALKING ABOUT KASHI SPECIFICALLY BUT HE'S STILL A JAMAICAN

yes she has good points that happened to her..

I don't know if i believe how much love was in ur relationship Nanny/Luvtralin...how did love just go out the window over nite..

On my part there was a lot of love...and it didn't just leave over night...it was a very very hard choice for me to leave him. I knew I had to for the safety of myself and for my child.

exactly Shauna..i res[ect u for that !!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Please anyone can join in, but your responses must not be of an attack mod.