Adjustment to the United States

[TRELAWNY PARISH 10]

sHEM..I BET IF U TELL DEM BOUT DEM RASS ONCE ..U TURN YARDIE..LMAO

You good...a not dat mi tell tell, mi ask dem if a pu**y dem a look!

sarry unuh except mi apaligies mi no wah arfen any badi sorry bout di vulgaritiness of mi typings.

[Islandwoman 0]

I'm really tired of hearing about THE FEELING..like u say ppl just have to keep it moving...Black women get steers too...soo

Whatcha doin with your steers, Kimmy?

Leave it to Sus to find dat picha.....

sHEM..I BET IF U TELL DEM BOUT DEM RASS ONCE ..U TURN YARDIE..LMAO

You good...a not dat mi tell tell, mi ask dem if a pu**y dem a look!

sarry unuh except mi apaligies mi no wah arfen any badi sorry bout di vulgaritiness of mi typings.

Lawny...your fingers need soap..chatting so dirty...

[*JG* 2]

Nanny that is absolutely crazy...ur a bigger woman than me

she more dan biggah dan mi...cause mi wah find the bloodclatt jail dat ago ole mi aftah u do dat tu mi no sah...fiyah fi fiyah!

Ha ha....this I can definately see.

Shauna.....so sorry, girl.

[*JG* 2]

In defense of Luv, it's a tough topic whenever this is brought up. Her points are all valid. While all may not experience the same things throughout there relationship, what if just one person does and comes on here looking for support and all we talk about are sunshine and rainbows? It's a horrible feeling to feel so all alone. If just one person learns something from her posts, it was worthwhile for her to open herself up in public. I respect that.

There are many more you only hear about or that just disappear who some of this stuff may happen to in the adjustment process and never tell their tales out of fear of how they will get beat to ####### in the open. I wish we could talk about EVERYTHING without jumping all over one another. We truly can help each other with everything we have to share.

Kimmy.....falling out of love doesn't mean you don't love someone anymore. For the most part, it means you just can't maybe live with them or be around them. You can still love someone and care about them. I've known so many people this has happened to.

For those of you who this topic offends, then please step off the thread. It's not meant to offend. It is meant to help. And, whether you like it or not, talk like today is a big part of the adjustment process for many. Applause to those who make it through without dealing with any of it or who manage to survive....Hugs to those who don't.

[clairern 0]

Hi Ladies!

Well, Neil is adjusting very well so far, and has a child-like interest in everything he sees. We are having the best, most romantic time of our lives and are enjoying the last few weeks before the baby is born and our twosome becomes a threesome..honestly, it is better than I imagined.

some hard adjustments so far have been his digestion...everything seems to upset his stomach. I think it is the combination of the stress of a new environment as well as strange food.

Also he is cold...

He loves "on demand" cable though!

We are getting married Thursday! Can't wait to be his wife!

Oh, and I have noticed his bath water is dirty too...he took four baths a day in Jamaica so this is weird...I think the dryer climate is just causing him to lose a layer or two of skin cells...just a theory

I always thought it was sand embedded in his skin.

Ha......that On Demand fascination does not go away. Especially since there are TV shows there too!

Happy Wedding!

I think it is the difference between the hard and soft water that is used.

[jamerican 2]

For those of you who this topic offends, then please step off the thread. It's not meant to offend. It is meant to help. And, whether you like it or not, talk like today is a big part of the adjustment process for many. Applause to those who make it through without dealing with any of it or who manage to survive....Hugs to those who don't.

I don't think anyone is offended by information...it is the general blanket statements that are offensive. The use of the words ALL or THEY suggest it is a problem culturally and gender wide. Although I don't think it is meant that way it comes across that way because of what that particular man has done. Any woman who wasn't born yesterday knows that relationships arent all "sunshines and rainbows" and that is with ANY man.

[*JG* 2]

Hi Ladies!

Well, Neil is adjusting very well so far, and has a child-like interest in everything he sees. We are having the best, most romantic time of our lives and are enjoying the last few weeks before the baby is born and our twosome becomes a threesome..honestly, it is better than I imagined.

some hard adjustments so far have been his digestion...everything seems to upset his stomach. I think it is the combination of the stress of a new environment as well as strange food.

Also he is cold...

He loves "on demand" cable though!

We are getting married Thursday! Can't wait to be his wife!

Oh, and I have noticed his bath water is dirty too...he took four baths a day in Jamaica so this is weird...I think the dryer climate is just causing him to lose a layer or two of skin cells...just a theory

I always thought it was sand embedded in his skin.

Ha......that On Demand fascination does not go away. Especially since there are TV shows there too!

Happy Wedding!

I think it is the difference between the hard and soft water that is used.

Maybe. I just noticed this weekend when I was in S. Missouri that my hair behaved so much better then my own water at home.

What exactly is the difference?

[NatPatBen 3]

Well a little update on my situation. Mike and I are divorced. He signed the papers in January and became official on the 5th. Of course he won't go away. Still calls and texts me blah blah blah....gave me another special gift that will be with me forver. I tested positive for HPV have to get biopsy's done end of this month. He came clean and told me that he cheated on me 2 weeks after out interview in JA and 2 weeks before he came to the states with ZERO protection. Has not been to see his daughter, he talks a good game but that is about it. I thought we could be friends but that is NOT happening at all, he started to go back to the same abusive ways, telling me everything is my fault and other not so nice things. Needless to say this is NOT the way I expected it to be ever, but like Kelly said (luvstravlin) he changed right after he got here. Thought things would get better after I found out I was preggo but it got worse, to the point where I had to call the police because he went after our dog with a screwdriver.

He says he wantst to stay in the states and I say that is fine but he needs to do ROC by himself and I am not helping with that anymore.

Dang. These adjustment stories are frightening. As a person going through the K1 process, I'm struggling to know what to do after reading some of these posts. I guess for now, I'll share and discuss them with my SO.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

In defense of Luv, it's a tough topic whenever this is brought up. Her points are all valid. While all may not experience the same things throughout there relationship, what if just one person does and comes on here looking for support and all we talk about are sunshine and rainbows? It's a horrible feeling to feel so all alone. If just one person learns something from her posts, it was worthwhile for her to open herself up in public. I respect that.

There are many more you only hear about or that just disappear who some of this stuff may happen to in the adjustment process and never tell their tales out of fear of how they will get beat to ####### in the open. I wish we could talk about EVERYTHING without jumping all over one another. We truly can help each other with everything we have to share.

Kimmy.....falling out of love doesn't mean you don't love someone anymore. For the most part, it means you just can't maybe live with them or be around them. You can still love someone and care about them. I've known so many people this has happened to.

For those of you who this topic offends, then please step off the thread. It's not meant to offend. It is meant to help. And, whether you like it or not, talk like today is a big part of the adjustment process for many. Applause to those who make it through without dealing with any of it or who manage to survive....Hugs to those who don't.

JG..I'm glad u have experienced such..everyone looks at love differently IMO..and again nope i don't know anyone..

OK..everytime Kelly come on here she tells us the same story..is there ever a sunshine or a rainbow...She is as much to blame as this man, her husband who I do not know. No one said u cannot come on here and look for adjustment issues that someone can relate to..What is her point really? I don't see sunshine and rainbows here at all..but i can only speak for myself..i really don't wanna hear dull and horrible all the time either!

JG u can't tell anyone to get out of a thread..this is public and what u write here is left to interpretation..why Kelly can't come on here and talk w/o generalizing..is it so hard?

What is this thread really helping, than having a place to vent and an audience to say hurray or i'm sorry? this may just bring about preconceievd notions of how one MIGHT act when he/she gets here..

I would like to see the 1st person to agree that what Kelly is going thru is ADJUSTMENT..come on that is abuse..whether u want to see it or not..like i have said before he was the same man when u married and he's the same man when he got here..either u didn't wanna see it or u thought he would change..since u gave him the GIFT of America

Again..what are we, she, he or the next man/woman is to learn from her horror story..cause really that's what it is..sorry..call it like I see it..

Why doesn't there come a point when the adjustment starts..why is he still such lag in ADJUSTING after..it has to improve at some point...what 2-4yrs sorry not sure..

these are not adjustment issues they are personality issues..

I guess I deserve an applause !!

Well a little update on my situation. Mike and I are divorced. He signed the papers in January and became official on the 5th. Of course he won't go away. Still calls and texts me blah blah blah....gave me another special gift that will be with me forver. I tested positive for HPV have to get biopsy's done end of this month. He came clean and told me that he cheated on me 2 weeks after out interview in JA and 2 weeks before he came to the states with ZERO protection. Has not been to see his daughter, he talks a good game but that is about it. I thought we could be friends but that is NOT happening at all, he started to go back to the same abusive ways, telling me everything is my fault and other not so nice things. Needless to say this is NOT the way I expected it to be ever, but like Kelly said (luvstravlin) he changed right after he got here. Thought things would get better after I found out I was preggo but it got worse, to the point where I had to call the police because he went after our dog with a screwdriver.

He says he wantst to stay in the states and I say that is fine but he needs to do ROC by himself and I am not helping with that anymore.

Dang. These adjustment stories are frightening. As a person going through the K1 process, I'm struggling to know what to do after reading some of these posts. I guess for now, I'll share and discuss them with my SO.

This is my point..why is adjustment all "bad" in this thread? taking someone into a whole new world is hard..but i do not pass off igorance and abuse as adjustment..

Edited February 10, 2009 by Hotlegz

[^KK^ 3]

I agree with you Kimmy....while I appreciate everyone sharing their stories....where/when is the line drawn between adjustment and just disrespect

[MSNELLY 0]

I agree with you Kimmy....while I appreciate everyone sharing their stories....where/when is the line drawn between adjustment and just disrespect

I agree with what kimmy and kk is saying.... what kelly is going thru is pass the adjustment point, this is abuse to the fullest and no one should have to deal with this.

Edited February 10, 2009 by BELIEVE IT BABY!!

[MSNELLY 0]

Men only do what you allow them to do... my mom would always say when the shoe get to tight you will take if off took me a while to figure out whats she was saying but when i did man i said enough is enough.

[Mrs. Smith 0]

In defense of Luv, it's a tough topic whenever this is brought up. Her points are all valid. While all may not experience the same things throughout there relationship, what if just one person does and comes on here looking for support and all we talk about are sunshine and rainbows? It's a horrible feeling to feel so all alone. If just one person learns something from her posts, it was worthwhile for her to open herself up in public. I respect that.

There are many more you only hear about or that just disappear who some of this stuff may happen to in the adjustment process and never tell their tales out of fear of how they will get beat to ####### in the open. I wish we could talk about EVERYTHING without jumping all over one another. We truly can help each other with everything we have to share.

Kimmy.....falling out of love doesn't mean you don't love someone anymore. For the most part, it means you just can't maybe live with them or be around them. You can still love someone and care about them. I've known so many people this has happened to.

For those of you who this topic offends, then please step off the thread. It's not meant to offend. It is meant to help. And, whether you like it or not, talk like today is a big part of the adjustment process for many. Applause to those who make it through without dealing with any of it or who manage to survive....Hugs to those who don't.

JG..I'm glad u have experienced such..everyone looks at love differently IMO..and again nope i don't know anyone..

OK..everytime Kelly come on here she tells us the same story..is there ever a sunshine or a rainbow...She is as much to blame as this man, her husband who I do not know. No one said u cannot come on here and look for adjustment issues that someone can relate to..What is her point really? I don't see sunshine and rainbows here at all..but i can only speak for myself..i really don't wanna hear dull and horrible all the time either!

JG u can't tell anyone to get out of a thread..this is public and what u write here is left to interpretation..why Kelly can't come on here and talk w/o generalizing..is it so hard?

What is this thread really helping, than having a place to vent and an audience to say hurray or i'm sorry? this may just bring about preconceievd notions of how one MIGHT act when he/she gets here..

I would like to see the 1st person to agree that what Kelly is going thru is ADJUSTMENT..come on that is abuse..whether u want to see it or not..like i have said before he was the same man when u married and he's the same man when he got here..either u didn't wanna see it or u thought he would change..since u gave him the GIFT of America

Again..what are we, she, he or the next man/woman is to learn from her horror story..cause really that's what it is..sorry..call it like I see it..

Why doesn't there come a point when the adjustment starts..why is he still such lag in ADJUSTING after..it has to improve at some point...what 2-4yrs sorry not sure..

these are not adjustment issues they are personality issues..

I guess I deserve an applause !!

Well a little update on my situation. Mike and I are divorced. He signed the papers in January and became official on the 5th. Of course he won't go away. Still calls and texts me blah blah blah....gave me another special gift that will be with me forver. I tested positive for HPV have to get biopsy's done end of this month. He came clean and told me that he cheated on me 2 weeks after out interview in JA and 2 weeks before he came to the states with ZERO protection. Has not been to see his daughter, he talks a good game but that is about it. I thought we could be friends but that is NOT happening at all, he started to go back to the same abusive ways, telling me everything is my fault and other not so nice things. Needless to say this is NOT the way I expected it to be ever, but like Kelly said (luvstravlin) he changed right after he got here. Thought things would get better after I found out I was preggo but it got worse, to the point where I had to call the police because he went after our dog with a screwdriver.

He says he wantst to stay in the states and I say that is fine but he needs to do ROC by himself and I am not helping with that anymore.

Dang. These adjustment stories are frightening. As a person going through the K1 process, I'm struggling to know what to do after reading some of these posts. I guess for now, I'll share and discuss them with my SO.

This is my point..why is adjustment all "bad" in this thread? taking someone into a whole new world is hard..but i do not pass off igorance and abuse as adjustment..

Wow, are u serious, Everyone of us come from a different background, and for Kelly's sake, she is nor a dummy or weak.....She is just sharing her story......................I believed that everything was going to be peaches and creams when my SO came here.............................sure it was for a while......................THIS IS NOT GENERALIZIZING JAMAICANS>CAuse best believe I LOVE MY HUSBAND .........................THIS is an educated, sophisticated woman that you are downsizing............................For the longest time, all i have seen on this thread is the sunshine and rainbow and feared sharing my story to be critized by people that don't know me from ADAM..... What use is this thread if you are going to pick apart everything...... She told her story as well as I did, just to share the darker side of things.....DO you think for one minute that we knew that it could get to a level of such disrespect...WE did marry a man from a country that is suppose to be all about the respect............Really no wonder why the VETRANS of the thread don't come on here as much.....

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

MRS. SMITH I WOULD CAUTION YOU TO REMEMBER THERE ARE TWO SIDES TO EVERY STORY, BEFORE YOU OR ANYONE ELSE MAKES A BLAKEN STATEMENT. THERE MAYBE FACTS THAT ARE NOT PRINTED IN THIS THREAD THAT YOU MAY OR MAYBE AWARE OF.

[Shemmy 4]

In defense of Luv, it's a tough topic whenever this is brought up. Her points are all valid. While all may not experience the same things throughout there relationship, what if just one person does and comes on here looking for support and all we talk about are sunshine and rainbows? It's a horrible feeling to feel so all alone. If just one person learns something from her posts, it was worthwhile for her to open herself up in public. I respect that.

There are many more you only hear about or that just disappear who some of this stuff may happen to in the adjustment process and never tell their tales out of fear of how they will get beat to ####### in the open. I wish we could talk about EVERYTHING without jumping all over one another. We truly can help each other with everything we have to share.

Kimmy.....falling out of love doesn't mean you don't love someone anymore. For the most part, it means you just can't maybe live with them or be around them. You can still love someone and care about them. I've known so many people this has happened to.

For those of you who this topic offends, then please step off the thread. It's not meant to offend. It is meant to help. And, whether you like it or not, talk like today is a big part of the adjustment process for many. Applause to those who make it through without dealing with any of it or who manage to survive....Hugs to those who don't.

JG..I'm glad u have experienced such..everyone looks at love differently IMO..and again nope i don't know anyone..

OK..everytime Kelly come on here she tells us the same story..is there ever a sunshine or a rainbow...She is as much to blame as this man, her husband who I do not know. No one said u cannot come on here and look for adjustment issues that someone can relate to..What is her point really? I don't see sunshine and rainbows here at all..but i can only speak for myself..i really don't wanna hear dull and horrible all the time either!

JG u can't tell anyone to get out of a thread..this is public and what u write here is left to interpretation..why Kelly can't come on here and talk w/o generalizing..is it so hard?

What is this thread really helping, than having a place to vent and an audience to say hurray or i'm sorry? this may just bring about preconceievd notions of how one MIGHT act when he/she gets here..

I would like to see the 1st person to agree that what Kelly is going thru is ADJUSTMENT..come on that is abuse..whether u want to see it or not..like i have said before he was the same man when u married and he's the same man when he got here..either u didn't wanna see it or u thought he would change..since u gave him the GIFT of America

Again..what are we, she, he or the next man/woman is to learn from her horror story..cause really that's what it is..sorry..call it like I see it..

Why doesn't there come a point when the adjustment starts..why is he still such lag in ADJUSTING after..it has to improve at some point...what 2-4yrs sorry not sure..

these are not adjustment issues they are personality issues..

I guess I deserve an applause !!

Well a little update on my situation. Mike and I are divorced. He signed the papers in January and became official on the 5th. Of course he won't go away. Still calls and texts me blah blah blah....gave me another special gift that will be with me forver. I tested positive for HPV have to get biopsy's done end of this month. He came clean and told me that he cheated on me 2 weeks after out interview in JA and 2 weeks before he came to the states with ZERO protection. Has not been to see his daughter, he talks a good game but that is about it. I thought we could be friends but that is NOT happening at all, he started to go back to the same abusive ways, telling me everything is my fault and other not so nice things. Needless to say this is NOT the way I expected it to be ever, but like Kelly said (luvstravlin) he changed right after he got here. Thought things would get better after I found out I was preggo but it got worse, to the point where I had to call the police because he went after our dog with a screwdriver.

He says he wantst to stay in the states and I say that is fine but he needs to do ROC by himself and I am not helping with that anymore.

Dang. These adjustment stories are frightening. As a person going through the K1 process, I'm struggling to know what to do after reading some of these posts. I guess for now, I'll share and discuss them with my SO.

This is my point..why is adjustment all "bad" in this thread? taking someone into a whole new world is hard..but i do not pass off igorance and abuse as adjustment..

Wow, are u serious, Everyone of us come from a different background, and for Kelly's sake, she is nor a dummy or weak.....She is just sharing her story......................I believed that everything was going to be peaches and creams when my SO came here.............................sure it was for a while......................THIS IS NOT GENERALIZIZING JAMAICANS>CAuse best believe I LOVE MY HUSBAND .........................THIS is an educated, sophisticated woman that you are downsizing............................For the longest time, all i have seen on this thread is the sunshine and rainbow and feared sharing my story to be critized by people that don't know me from ADAM..... What use is this thread if you are going to pick apart everything...... She told her story as well as I did, just to share the darker side of things.....DO you think for one minute that we knew that it could get to a level of such disrespect...WE did marry a man from a country that is suppose to be all about the respect............Really no wonder why the VETRANS of the thread don't come on here as much.....

Mrs. Smith - there's one thing to share your story and another to tell other what to expect or say MOST of us been through these issues. I have met and stayed in contact with many of VETS and this is NOT their stories. If their relationships didn't work out...they left their marriages and moved on.