Yeah! K-1 Approved, with child. Now I'm not so sure.

[Boiler 45,516]

Seems fair that the Family can pick up her expenses if she wants to stay longer.

Family is precious, but isn't you Family of 3 top of the list.

I doubt if she can get a B2 Visitors Visa. But she has her K1.

Edited November 12, 2008 by Boiler

[DARUMA07 25]

Go with your gut feeling!!!

[diadromous mermaid 36]

How unsympathetic!! The pregnancy was unplanned, and yet a wonderful gift for her family to witness. The child's grandparents have only a short time to get to know their grandchild before he/she is whisked off to another world. It's not as if the trip is being cancelled. Yes, sure, it would be nice to spend the holidays with your newborn, but the newborn will be completely unaware that it is Christmas. Why not exhibit your resilience, and have your fiancée enjoy Christmas together and then celebrate your "own" Christmas when the two of them arrive? It's not like it is completely uncommon for Christmas decorations and trees to still be alight in April, for goodness sakes.

Thanks so far, wanting to see how others see this. Is so hard to think clearly when you're in the middle of it all

To update a few questions asked.

Her visa just got approved ( child has dual citizenship ), which is when she dropped this bomb on me.

I do my best to not make money an issue, so paying for a flight there is not the issue. Realistically money does matter, have a college fund to start I would rather avoid paying for a flight there when she should just come here, after all that was the plan. Will have a whole new set of expenses when she gets here. My flying there for the holidays is impossible because I used all my vacation time going over there to meet her family earlier in the year.

[pushbrk 12,883]

3) Applied for K-1 visa ( I've done most of the work until recently ) She has has to fly to the capital to do medical, interview for her and our new born.

I'll confine my response to the immigration related issues. If you are the father of this newborn, the child doesn't need a K2 visa, but rather a US passport. You file a Consular Report of Birth abroad, so the child is a US Citizen.

[dale_trisha 3]

Although not the same circumstance to stress my earlier point about family and culture. Trisha and I planned on getting the K1 visa. All was well until just a few days before filing the 129f in June this year. Yes it was all filled out and ready to go. Then she got the family pressure to instead get married in Phil. I had not planned on that I needed to return to the US. We discussed it before I left and I could tell she was torn. She wanted to be with me sooner than later but also needed to please the family. We decided to get married and knew that this meant a few months delay until my next trip in Sep this year. End the end it cost me nearly a 4 month delay but well worth it. It was a big burden for her that we lifted off her shoulders and end the end what is 4 months. Nothing - hopefully. But today we are glad we did it.

[ronjie 0]

You need to understand, if the two of you planed for her to be there on x-mas with your child and she goes there sometime mid to late january, then that would be normal. thats just filipina time !!!!!

[GwizCraig 0]

Thank-you Sundrop,

You are correct in many ways. I do feel very unappreciated for what I have done this far. It is easier to point out through financial contributions but I have also done my best to be available to her, day and night. What I have written here, I have not said to her. Going through the pregnancy was very difficult for us both. Undoubtedly more so for her, but is no cake walk for me to feel so helpless and unable to share in the experience. Our child is almost 1/2 a year old now, our visa application has had about every delay possible. According to the average time, I was expecting her here long by now. We kept talking and I kept hoping. We both spoke of how nice it would be to be together for the holidays. While she kept losing faith through this process ( like I said, every delay possible is very discouraging, why they kept losing our paperwork...another story ), I tried to be the good cheerleader and tell her that this would work out. Even though I had the same fears as she did, speaking of being together for the holidays gave me strength to go on as well. I have traveled and spent time in foreign countries, months not years, and mind you not the nicest places. I know what it is to want a real bed and a coke instead of dirt and water. But I don't see the difference when you start, if you're going to do it... Delaying tells me that there is a lack of commitment and she has changed her story now that it is about to be reality. This knee jerk reaction is causing me to question everything. All the time I'm watching our child grow up over YM, I guess I've just hit my limit too.

[Boiler 45,516]

6 months seems a long time.

Who knows, but sounds like she is comfortable where she is.

[GwizCraig 0]

Yes, the pregnancy was unplanned. A gift for her family to witness. The child has a father, grandparents and relatives here too who would like to share in the experience. It is not like she will not be able to return when ever she wants. What about them celebrating Christmas early? I have been very supportive of her and her family so far. Her father would be very ill right now if I did not step up and put him in the hospital ( turned out to be kidney stones ) he did not want to go. She would be sharing a boarding room with three siblings if I did not over rule her mother ( was tenious ) and pay for an apartment. I've had a hand in putting the two siblings through college and they still have one more to go. Lord knows what kind of care our child would be getting without my support. I realize there will be plenty of angry women at me but let me make this clear, it is responses like yours that make me lean more toward bailing. I don't have to take the risk, I have stayed in this because I choose to. Against what I really want, I can choose not to. Some women wonder why men run, lady your attitude is the reason.

How unsympathetic!! The pregnancy was unplanned, and yet a wonderful gift for her family to witness. The child's grandparents have only a short time to get to know their grandchild before he/she is whisked off to another world. It's not as if the trip is being cancelled. Yes, sure, it would be nice to spend the holidays with your newborn, but the newborn will be completely unaware that it is Christmas. Why not exhibit your resilience, and have your fiancée enjoy Christmas together and then celebrate your "own" Christmas when the two of them arrive? It's not like it is completely uncommon for Christmas decorations and trees to still be alight in April, for goodness sakes.

Thanks so far, wanting to see how others see this. Is so hard to think clearly when you're in the middle of it all

To update a few questions asked.

Her visa just got approved ( child has dual citizenship ), which is when she dropped this bomb on me.

I do my best to not make money an issue, so paying for a flight there is not the issue. Realistically money does matter, have a college fund to start I would rather avoid paying for a flight there when she should just come here, after all that was the plan. Will have a whole new set of expenses when she gets here. My flying there for the holidays is impossible because I used all my vacation time going over there to meet her family earlier in the year.

Edited November 13, 2008 by GwizCraig

[kirkdk 0]

You should familiarize yourself with Filipino culture. It is not surprising that she wants to spend one last holiday there before starting an entirely new life.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Very few people get under my skin, but you just did. I know your type, and I am totally unimpressed. You need to take a step back and read what you write, and then honestly ask yourself, "Am I a self-righteous, pompous @@@?".

Yes, the pregnancy was unplanned. A gift for her family to witness. The child has a father, grandparents and relatives here too who would like to share in the experience. It is not like she will not be able to return when ever she wants. What about them celebrating Christmas early? I have been very supportive of her and her family so far. Her father would be very ill right now if I did not step up and put him in the hospital ( turned out to be kidney stones ) he did not want to go. She would be sharing a boarding room with three siblings if I did not over rule her mother ( was tenious ) and pay for an apartment. I've had a hand in putting the two siblings through college and they still have one more to go. Lord knows what kind of care our child would be getting without my support. I realize there will be plenty of angry women at me but let me make this clear, it is responses like yours that make me lean more toward bailing. I don't have to take the risk, I have stayed in this because I choose to. Against what I really want, I can choose not to. Some women wonder why men run, lady your attitude is the reason.

How unsympathetic!! The pregnancy was unplanned, and yet a wonderful gift for her family to witness. The child's grandparents have only a short time to get to know their grandchild before he/she is whisked off to another world. It's not as if the trip is being cancelled. Yes, sure, it would be nice to spend the holidays with your newborn, but the newborn will be completely unaware that it is Christmas. Why not exhibit your resilience, and have your fiancée enjoy Christmas together and then celebrate your "own" Christmas when the two of them arrive? It's not like it is completely uncommon for Christmas decorations and trees to still be alight in April, for goodness sakes.

Thanks so far, wanting to see how others see this. Is so hard to think clearly when you're in the middle of it all

To update a few questions asked.

Her visa just got approved ( child has dual citizenship ), which is when she dropped this bomb on me.

I do my best to not make money an issue, so paying for a flight there is not the issue. Realistically money does matter, have a college fund to start I would rather avoid paying for a flight there when she should just come here, after all that was the plan. Will have a whole new set of expenses when she gets here. My flying there for the holidays is impossible because I used all my vacation time going over there to meet her family earlier in the year.

Edited November 13, 2008 by diadromous mermaid

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

i'm guessing maybe she wants to spend one last christmas with her family, as she may think she won't see them for a while?

[diadromous mermaid 36]

...And you wonder why she might be having misgivings? You're not committed to her, even though you proclaim you are. Whether she is to you, I don't know. After all, in your first post, you referred to her as a friend, who became impregnated. Not a fiancée, a friend.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

oooo mermaid on the warpath

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Indeed.

oooo mermaid on the warpath