Is the romance gone?

[Zee Bee 61]

Bridget you said " Bangin....." you crack me up and my hsuband is the same ... ie covering your a$ hehehe if i don't wear something on my feet i'll get electricuted he sooo believes it he'll put socks on my feet.

When we're in public if my hair falls out from my hijab he'll tuck it in silly i know but it makes my heart patter.

to me that's romance... gush

My husband does this too

[morocco4ever 63]

All of you still have some affectionate gestures from your husbands.....

It may not be flowers and candy...but at least there are small gestures...

My husband barely communicates with me. He is always on the computer. I see what he reads since he sits in the living room with a laptop (so it isn't porn).

He never hugs me. Never kisses me.

I am in tears!

It has come to the point, I can't sleep next to him because it feels worse to sleep next to a man who doesn't give you the time of day.

I sleep on the couch now.

Your right Nutty. The romance may change, but there is still those little things for most of us. I don't know what is going to happen to you and your husband in the end, but just remember you have friends here.

[caybee 21]

Bridget you said " Bangin....." you crack me up and my hsuband is the same ... ie covering your a$$ hehehe if i don't wear something on my feet i'll get electricuted he sooo believes it he'll put socks on my feet.

When we're in public if my hair falls out from my hijab he'll tuck it in silly i know but it makes my heart patter.

to me that's romance... gush

When I was in Morocco, I got fussed at if I walked barefoot on the tile -- I think that's pretty common. I told him it wouldn't make me sick since I've done it all my life (didn't confess to walking barefoot in the snow many times as well). No, he said, arthritis will get me 20 years down the road for that.

As for getting "electrocuted," there's some truth to that. I touched his monitor in Morocco when my bare feet were on the floor and got a nice 220-volt jolt!

As for the last bit, I don't even wear a hijab and that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

[Aymsgirl 0]

I'm sorry Nutty that things are like that. I really hope that the two of you can rekindle your romance. I can't imagine feeling ignored and how that makes you feel.

My husband isn't like he was before but still he is not bad either. It's the small things he does that make me feel so in love with him. Little things like forgoing sleep and staying up with a crying baby because he knows I need to rest to go to work. I love it when we are sitting on the couch opposite sides from each other and he says baby, lay with me and wants me to lay in front of him while he cuddles me up. Yesterday he sent me an email and said to hurry up and come home because he misses me nuchhhhhhhhhh (notice the spelling!)

There are times he is distant though. I am learning that usually when that happens he is fighting something emotionally. Maybe missing his family and friends, worried about work, driving etc. I am slowly learning just leave him alone and he will come around.

[star_dragon 0]

Bridget you said " Bangin....." you crack me up and my hsuband is the same ... ie covering your a$$ hehehe if i don't wear something on my feet i'll get electricuted he sooo believes it he'll put socks on my feet.

When we're in public if my hair falls out from my hijab he'll tuck it in silly i know but it makes my heart patter.

to me that's romance... gush

When I was in Morocco, I got fussed at if I walked barefoot on the tile -- I think that's pretty common. I told him it wouldn't make me sick since I've done it all my life (didn't confess to walking barefoot in the snow many times as well). No, he said, arthritis will get me 20 years down the road for that.

As for getting "electrocuted," there's some truth to that. I touched his monitor in Morocco when my bare feet were on the floor and got a nice 220-volt jolt!

As for the last bit, I don't even wear a hijab and that's one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.

True - my grandmother's house in Puerto Rico is not grounded so if I'm barefoot and touch the fridge to open it - ZAP!!

[Imua 0]

Bridget you said " Bangin....." you crack me up and my hsuband is the same ... ie covering your a$ hehehe if i don't wear something on my feet i'll get electricuted he sooo believes it he'll put socks on my feet.

When we're in public if my hair falls out from my hijab he'll tuck it in silly i know but it makes my heart patter.

to me that's romance... gush

My husband does this too

The Hindu version: when I was in Nepal with Govi he would choose my bindi every day to match my outfit and put it on me himself, then give me a kiss - that was our morning ritual. I miss him......

[Nutty 2]

Thanks everyone!

Reading all of your posts made me teary about my situation. But only for a moment. I'm tough and I will survive. I've got plans. Forgive me for momentary weakness.

[amal 4]

Thanks everyone!

Reading all of your posts made me teary about my situation. But only for a moment. I'm tough and I will survive. I've got plans. Forgive me for momentary weakness.

girl, you're allowed to feel weak. that is one of the great things about this group. We're not just here for the good times but we are here in the weaker moments as well. I think you and I could do some serious beetching together about the things our boys do that drive us batty!!! I, for one, love ya. take a deep breath and exhale slowly. we will soon find our inner "chi's " and come out of the tunnel much better, stronger, and wizer than ever before

[Nutty 2]

Thanks everyone!

Reading all of your posts made me teary about my situation. But only for a moment. I'm tough and I will survive. I've got plans. Forgive me for momentary weakness.

girl, you're allowed to feel weak. that is one of the great things about this group. We're not just here for the good times but we are here in the weaker moments as well. I think you and I could do some serious beetching together about the things our boys do that drive us batty!!! I, for one, love ya. take a deep breath and exhale slowly. we will soon find our inner "chi's " and come out of the tunnel much better, stronger, and wizer than ever before

Thank you for your kind words!

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Bridget you said " Bangin....." you crack me up and my hsuband is the same ... ie covering your a$ hehehe if i don't wear something on my feet i'll get electricuted he sooo believes it he'll put socks on my feet.

When we're in public if my hair falls out from my hijab he'll tuck it in silly i know but it makes my heart patter.

to me that's romance... gush

My husband does this too

The Hindu version: when I was in Nepal with Govi he would choose my bindi every day to match my outfit and put it on me himself, then give me a kiss - that was our morning ritual. I miss him......

this is so sweet you guys!

habibi was tinkering with my shirts(y necks) before we went out everyday to make sure nothing was "popping out" heh.. i thought it was adorable!

[Brad and Vika 129]

Thanks ladies - you gave me a few great laughs (and some serious stuff too) with this. Honestly, we (men) really are trainable Just help us adapt culturally - with kindness and love. Women are wonderful, complex creatures, and men have an unbelievably tough time figuring out what our women need sometimes.

After my Viktoria moved back to Ukraine, I spent a pretty awesome week with her in her hometown. Towards the end of the week she said that we needed to talk about something important. Alarm bells were going off in my thick male head. She asked me why, after we had spent almost a week together, that I had never once brought flowers. She patiently explained how important this gesture was for Ukrainian women (she used the term Slavic women), and I promptly created some barely believable excuse that she ignored completely. The real problem is that my Russian wasn't up to ordering flowers.

Within 15 minutes walk of my apartment, there was about a half mile of flower vendors near Ushakova St. It is a beautiful sight, and I come back every time kicking myself for not taking pictures. I thought "OK - these folks want to sell me flowers, and I want to buy them. We can probably work this out!" Sure enough, after a few minutes of VERY slow/often repeated Russian I had a decent looking bunch of flowers. To this day I think Vika likes flowers more than almost any other gift.

My point of course is that she had to teach me what she needed. No way would I have thought that a few flowers would make her so happy. No matter if it is a flower, card, or slingin' a mop - tell us what you need. We want you to be happy, but we are men, and that means we are just not hard-wired to figure it out on our own.

Take Care

[Staashi 371]

Thanks ladies - you gave me a few great laughs (and some serious stuff too) with this. Honestly, we (men) really are trainable Just help us adapt culturally - with kindness and love. Women are wonderful, complex creatures, and men have an unbelievably tough time figuring out what our women need sometimes.

After my Viktoria moved back to Ukraine, I spent a pretty awesome week with her in her hometown. Towards the end of the week she said that we needed to talk about something important. Alarm bells were going off in my thick male head. She asked me why, after we had spent almost a week together, that I had never once brought flowers. She patiently explained how important this gesture was for Ukrainian women (she used the term Slavic women), and I promptly created some barely believable excuse that she ignored completely. The real problem is that my Russian wasn't up to ordering flowers.

Within 15 minutes walk of my apartment, there was about a half mile of flower vendors near Ushakova St. It is a beautiful sight, and I come back every time kicking myself for not taking pictures. I thought "OK - these folks want to sell me flowers, and I want to buy them. We can probably work this out!" Sure enough, after a few minutes of VERY slow/often repeated Russian I had a decent looking bunch of flowers. To this day I think Vika likes flowers more than almost any other gift.

My point of course is that she had to teach me what she needed. No way would I have thought that a few flowers would make her so happy. No matter if it is a flower, card, or slingin' a mop - tell us what you need. We want you to be happy, but we are men, and that means we are just not hard-wired to figure it out on our own.

Take Care

Brad, that is so true. Thank you for your honesty. I also tell my husband, "tell me what you need. I am not a mind reader." Sometimes, I think he gets the point.

[~Jackie~ 30]

Thank you for your male perspective Brad!

[Aymsgirl 0]

Thank you for your male perspective Brad!

I was going to say the same thing..you beat me to the punch! Thanks Brad!!!

[Zee Bee 61]

My point of course is that she had to teach me what she needed. No way would I have thought that a few flowers would make her so happy. No matter if it is a flower, card, or slingin' a mop - tell us what you need. We want you to be happy, but we are men, and that means we are just not hard-wired to figure it out on our own.

Take Care

This is exactly what my husband tells me. There have been so many times when I have thought that if I hint at something he'll figure it out...

Apparently my husband needs me to spell it out for him