Is the romance gone?

[Muh and me 18]

I am wondering for those of us whom their SO is here if they feel the same. When my hubby and i were seperated, there was all kinds of romance. he used to send cards for holidays and birthdays. i would recieve love letters in the mail. i would even get messages on yahoo when he wasn't suppossed to be around! Since he has been here, I've gotton one card and that was the day after my birthday.

I give him cards for everything. I know the man loves me. Is it just me being petty? I told him once it would be nice if he gave me flower sometime. His response was, "If I give you flowers, that means i'm having an affair"! I was shocked he even said that! I told him men give flowers all the time just because .

[Jenn! 918]

I think it's inevitable that certain romantic things start to fall by the wayside as the honeymoon period fades (not true for everyone, of course, but it's a common generalization). It sounds like you suspect it may be more than that?

[Tilly 0]

No romance once he got here. It was non existant. It did cause me suspect more, but I guess it is all pat of the courting process.

[~Jackie~ 30]

I recall a married couple in the backseat Saturday night holding hands

[Muh and me 18]

I recall a married couple in the backseat Saturday night holding hands

Wait a min. I'm talking about the romance that is unspoken. Like the little things they do. Not the sex, if that weren't there man his butt would be back in Morocco!

[Nothing1234 2]

Haha! Terrie! LMAO

[caybee 21]

I am wondering for those of us whom their SO is here if they feel the same. When my hubby and i were seperated, there was all kinds of romance. he used to send cards for holidays and birthdays. i would recieve love letters in the mail. i would even get messages on yahoo when he wasn't suppossed to be around! Since he has been here, I've gotton one card and that was the day after my birthday.

I give him cards for everything. I know the man loves me. Is it just me being petty? I told him once it would be nice if he gave me flower sometime. His response was, "If I give you flowers, that means i'm having an affair"! I was shocked he even said that! I told him men give flowers all the time just because .

Focus on this statement and how you know that he loves you. How does he show you? Yes, there's going to be some settling down for many people. My husband and I sent the love letters and e-cards when we were apart, and now, nah. Occasional "I U" text messages or notes scrawled on the white board in the kitchen, yeah, but neither of us is into much more than that now even though we're more in love than ever. There are also other ways to be romantic. He isn't the flowers type either (I never thought that it might be a cultural thing, a way to apologize -- I'll ask him about that), but he often jumps in and helps with the housework or heavy lifting or anything else I happen to be doing; that's one way he shows his thoughtfulness and love. Displays of affection aren't always textbook romantic gestures, but they can be every bit as sincere. I would keep giving him the cards, though, because that's how you like to express your love to him. Heck, give him flowers too sometime. He might like it and return the gesture. But most of all, watch for the romantic moments that aren't as flashy. I'll bet they are there.

[RAKASA 0]

The romance in our relationship is still going strong, but I think it may have a lot to do w/ the individual. My husband is romantic man and 2 yrs into marriage (& him being here) I still get the voicemails saying he loves me and is thinking about me, text msgs saying the same, sometimes he'll come home w/ flowers just because and we are almost always holding hands if we are near each other. I love that about him - it's not for everyone. Thankfully, we are a good match on this matter.

For the record, I do all this stuff too. He also came home recently from visiting his family and lavished me in gifts. We also talked on the phone everyday he was gone (a month) b/c we really missed each other. He's my best friend, my partner, my love....

yeah... the romance is still here! :wub:

[Nothing1234 2]

I am wondering for those of us whom their SO is here if they feel the same. When my hubby and i were seperated, there was all kinds of romance. he used to send cards for holidays and birthdays. i would recieve love letters in the mail. i would even get messages on yahoo when he wasn't suppossed to be around! Since he has been here, I've gotton one card and that was the day after my birthday.

I give him cards for everything. I know the man loves me. Is it just me being petty? I told him once it would be nice if he gave me flower sometime. His response was, "If I give you flowers, that means i'm having an affair"! I was shocked he even said that! I told him men give flowers all the time just because .

Focus on this statement and how you know that he loves you. How does he show you? Yes, there's going to be some settling down for many people. My husband and I sent the love letters and e-cards when we were apart, and now, nah. Occasional "I U" text messages or notes scrawled on the white board in the kitchen, yeah, but neither of us is into much more than that now even though we're more in love than ever. There are also other ways to be romantic. He isn't the flowers type either (I never thought that it might be a cultural thing, a way to apologize -- I'll ask him about that), but he often jumps in and helps with the housework or heavy lifting or anything else I happen to be doing; that's one way he shows his thoughtfulness and love. Displays of affection aren't always textbook romantic gestures, but they can be every bit as sincere. I would keep giving him the cards, though, because that's how you like to express your love to him. Heck, give him flowers too sometime. He might like it and return the gesture. But most of all, watch for the romantic moments that aren't as flashy. I'll bet they are there.

Ditto

[Muh and me 18]

I am wondering for those of us whom their SO is here if they feel the same. When my hubby and i were seperated, there was all kinds of romance. he used to send cards for holidays and birthdays. i would recieve love letters in the mail. i would even get messages on yahoo when he wasn't suppossed to be around! Since he has been here, I've gotton one card and that was the day after my birthday.

I give him cards for everything. I know the man loves me. Is it just me being petty? I told him once it would be nice if he gave me flower sometime. His response was, "If I give you flowers, that means i'm having an affair"! I was shocked he even said that! I told him men give flowers all the time just because .

Focus on this statement and how you know that he loves you. How does he show you? Yes, there's going to be some settling down for many people. My husband and I sent the love letters and e-cards when we were apart, and now, nah. Occasional "I U" text messages or notes scrawled on the white board in the kitchen, yeah, but neither of us is into much more than that now even though we're more in love than ever. There are also other ways to be romantic. He isn't the flowers type either (I never thought that it might be a cultural thing, a way to apologize -- I'll ask him about that), but he often jumps in and helps with the housework or heavy lifting or anything else I happen to be doing; that's one way he shows his thoughtfulness and love. Displays of affection aren't always textbook romantic gestures, but they can be every bit as sincere. I would keep giving him the cards, though, because that's how you like to express your love to him. Heck, give him flowers too sometime. He might like it and return the gesture. But most of all, watch for the romantic moments that aren't as flashy. I'll bet they are there.

Your probably right! I guess some times the remarks he makes about marriage is so off color to me. I've never once (well maybe once) doubted that he doesn't love me. I know he does. And there are ways he shows it thru other ways. But I guess whats been bugging me most is on our aniversary (and his b-day) I gave him 2 cards and made him some of his favorite food! He handed me some money and said here get what u want. i felt upset cause he didn't even take the time to pick something out from him, or get me a card! Like i said maybe its me just being petty, or thinking too much since i've not been working!

[RAKASA 0]

Focus on this statement and how you know that he loves you. How does he show you? Yes, there's going to be some settling down for many people. My husband and I sent the love letters and e-cards when we were apart, and now, nah. Occasional "I U" text messages or notes scrawled on the white board in the kitchen, yeah, but neither of us is into much more than that now even though we're more in love than ever. There are also other ways to be romantic. He isn't the flowers type either (I never thought that it might be a cultural thing, a way to apologize -- I'll ask him about that), but he often jumps in and helps with the housework or heavy lifting or anything else I happen to be doing; that's one way he shows his thoughtfulness and love. Displays of affection aren't always textbook romantic gestures, but they can be every bit as sincere. I would keep giving him the cards, though, because that's how you like to express your love to him. Heck, give him flowers too sometime. He might like it and return the gesture. But most of all, watch for the romantic moments that aren't as flashy. I'll bet they are there.

These things are so true - and yes, very much alive in our relationship as well. My husband always opens the door for me, cooks dinner when I work late and he's home, cleans our home (more than I do) and always comes to take whatever I have to unload out of the car for me.

[caybee 21]

I am wondering for those of us whom their SO is here if they feel the same. When my hubby and i were seperated, there was all kinds of romance. he used to send cards for holidays and birthdays. i would recieve love letters in the mail. i would even get messages on yahoo when he wasn't suppossed to be around! Since he has been here, I've gotton one card and that was the day after my birthday.

I give him cards for everything. I know the man loves me. Is it just me being petty? I told him once it would be nice if he gave me flower sometime. His response was, "If I give you flowers, that means i'm having an affair"! I was shocked he even said that! I told him men give flowers all the time just because .

Focus on this statement and how you know that he loves you. How does he show you? Yes, there's going to be some settling down for many people. My husband and I sent the love letters and e-cards when we were apart, and now, nah. Occasional "I U" text messages or notes scrawled on the white board in the kitchen, yeah, but neither of us is into much more than that now even though we're more in love than ever. There are also other ways to be romantic. He isn't the flowers type either (I never thought that it might be a cultural thing, a way to apologize -- I'll ask him about that), but he often jumps in and helps with the housework or heavy lifting or anything else I happen to be doing; that's one way he shows his thoughtfulness and love. Displays of affection aren't always textbook romantic gestures, but they can be every bit as sincere. I would keep giving him the cards, though, because that's how you like to express your love to him. Heck, give him flowers too sometime. He might like it and return the gesture. But most of all, watch for the romantic moments that aren't as flashy. I'll bet they are there.

Your probably right! I guess some times the remarks he makes about marriage is so off color to me. I've never once (well maybe once) doubted that he doesn't love me. I know he does. And there are ways he shows it thru other ways. But I guess whats been bugging me most is on our aniversary (and his b-day) I gave him 2 cards and made him some of his favorite food! He handed me some money and said here get what u want. i felt upset cause he didn't even take the time to pick something out from him, or get me a card! Like i said maybe its me just being petty, or thinking too much since i've not been working!

His first Christmas here, I was still driving him everywhere. He hadn't made a motion toward a Christmas gift, and I knew we'd all be together with my folks and he might feel on the spot if he didn't give me anything. I figured he was clueless about the tradition. So I just went to him sort of sheepishly and told him I'd seen a pretty piece of jewelry I liked, nothing expensive, just nice, and that I would love it if he gave it to me for Christmas. Now, I never EVER tell anyone what I want as a gift, but I did that time. Well, his reaction was to ask me to take him to Best Buy, where he bought me a terrific, squishy, ergonomic keyboard (I transcribe a lot at home and this made it like typing on a cloud). OMG that was the most romantic gift.

I know in Morocco they often don't celebrate birthdays and anniversaries (and I hate to admit it but I don't always think to buy cards for special occasions myself). I've heard American men say they so often don't know what their wife wants in those cases, so I guess for a man from an entirely different tradition, it would be even more baffling. So maybe drop hints, like big ones. Sweet, but big. And as the years pass, he will get to know you better navigate those waters more easily. We are still learning too.

[aj1 1]

My husband and i are just as romantic with each other as the same when he was away actually even more. He is so helpful around the house, and with my girls. He calls me everyday when im not at home and leaves me voice messages saying he loves me, and he still makes pictures for me on the computer, we watch movies together all the time, take walks together, go the park we do alot of things he is very romantic but in different ways. I do agree with some of the others i think its just a matter of the individual.

AJ1

[star_dragon 0]

Your probably right! I guess some times the remarks he makes about marriage is so off color to me. I've never once (well maybe once) doubted that he doesn't love me. I know he does. And there are ways he shows it thru other ways. But I guess whats been bugging me most is on our aniversary (and his b-day) I gave him 2 cards and made him some of his favorite food! He handed me some money and said here get what u want. i felt upset cause he didn't even take the time to pick something out from him, or get me a card! Like i said maybe its me just being petty, or thinking too much since i've not been working!

My dad does that with my Mom and she considers it a pretty romantic gesture

And what's this about hand-holding in the backseat of my car??? Is that why I had to keep putting the rear window defog on?

[~Jackie~ 30]

Yep! and they were snapping pics too (were they ALL of the skyline?)

Terrie, him argeeing to come to the meetup AND meet for pizza was a huge I LOVE YOU from Kamal. Now go make him some toast.