How is your spouse adjusting to live here now?

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Won't your husband be embarassed if he knows you're telling everyone about his bad BO?

I giggle so much when I read about nutty's hubby's BO.

One day she will post that he now LOVEs deo. lol

LIsa

[Nutty 2]

quote]

Positive reinforcement is good. Definitely lay on the compliments whenever he smells nice. Has he ever tended to overdo it on the cologne and bypass the antiperspirant/deodorant? If so, and if the deodorant doesn't have much of a scent, maybe he just isn't convinced it does much good. Maybe you could get him a really yummy-smelling deodorant and talk him into using it instead of cologne. My husband has found a couple of Axe flavors he likes. He buys them in sets with the deodorant and the spray together, and that does the job.

My husband does not have cologne yet. But he wants Lagerfeld. I think he thinks he can use lagerfeld cologne instead of deodorant.

All in all, there is still a lot of room for improvement in this relationship. But I see my husband making baby steps in trying to be better.

Your husband was an attorney back home? What kind of jobs is he applying for now?

[Nutty 2]

Won't your husband be embarassed if he knows you're telling everyone about his bad BO?

First of all, I have addressed the issue with my husband more than 5 times. Do you know how awful it makes me feel to be forced to CONVINCE my husband to use deodorant. So he knows about it.

His response was, "I like my smell."

Well, if that is the case, then he should not be embarrassed I talk about it openly. Since the odor is already out there and he is aware.

Won't your husband be embarassed if he knows you're telling everyone about his bad BO?

I giggle so much when I read about nutty's hubby's BO.

One day she will post that he now LOVEs deo. lol

LIsa

Yes, it is amusing in an irritating sort of way....

This weekend I am going out to buy him more clothes just so he won't put on stinky clothes.

[sereia 0]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

[morocco4ever 63]

My husband and adjusting....

Let's say, I helped A LOT in the adjusting....We both searched for a job, but I was an intregal part of the process.

He's working now as a Chemical cargo inspector. On call 7 days a week/ 24 hours a day. He knows his way around ships and stuff...But explain a pay period, overtime, etc, etc....He gets stubborn and doesn't listen. Seems to think the company won't screw him out his pay.

When discussing company sponsored health insurance....that was a battle. My husband feels no need to see doctors and so could not understand getting covered in health insurance at a cost of $75.00 per month (medical, dental, vision). I said, "you may be healthy, but what prevents you from being hit by a drunk driver or having an accident. Going to the hospital will bankrupt us (then I had to explain bankruptcy)." Everyday, he conveniently "forgot" to submit is medical insurance enrollment forms.

At this point, I am ready to call his supervisor to get it done. If he does not get those papers in by TODAY!

Buying a car....My husband is all hot to trot on buying a car. However, explaining "it isn't just about paying for the car." Add insurance, registration, transfer of title.....

He just seems to think he knows better and ignores me.

It makes me frikking crazy!

And yes...he still has a BO problem!

Same problem over the health insurance thing... except he got upset because I bought him a policy... I am self-employed so I can't "add him" to my insurance at work or anything.. So as soon as we got his SS# I went online and applied for a health ins. policy for him. He got really mad because I didn't get his permission to buy it and he didn't want me to spend $ on him...

I told him that in Oregon medical bills are the JOINT responsibility of husband and wife... and I can't afford a big fat hospital bill if he gets hit by the "Mac Truck".. He just didn't get it... and after I said that he said "OH so it's REALLY for YOU!!!!" Which made me PO'd... like I'm the one who's going to be sewn back together when HE GETS HIT!!!!

As for the BO Thank God he doesn't have it... but I can't get him to wear deodorant to save my life... claims it's too many chemicals.... and this from a man who smoked 2 packs a day for 30 years.... However THANK GOD he quit before he came and so far so good on that front... I'm not so sure how I'll deal with the no deodorant issue come summer... although he never smelled funky in Egypt... Oh I forgot I always visited in winter... Oh Dear...

Your hubby doesn't know how lucky he is to pay $75 a month for all that coverage... between the 2 of us I"m shelling out $525 a month and NO DENTAL and NO VISION...

Hubby keeps thinking he's going to buy antibiotics at any pharmacy we pass... I told him to stock up on meds before he came, but he didn't listen... and when he saw the price of an eye exam and glasses here he's now wishing he had listened to me when I told him to get new glasses before he came... I think it was something like $10 there... UGH...

LIFE AFTER ARRIVAL makes the Visa Process seem tame... I think waiting for the EAD is 100x's harder on him than waiting for the Visa... at least he was on his own turf and was busy with work... alternating between pacing and thumb twiddling is making us BOTH crazy...

And I would like to go on the record that I must have been TOTALLY INSANE when I agreed to the Arabic Channels on the TV.. That was down right desperate....

K

As for the BO issue, I would certainly tell him that he will be extremely embarrassed when he gets pulled into the office at his work to inform him that there have been complaints as to his smell.

My husband works as a chemical cargo inspector. So he is on big container ships working around bad smelling chemicals (not in an office). There is no office and given the nature of the work, he wouldn't get a reprimand.

No HR department? And everything stinks? Then I guess your biggest concern there is your own nose. And lets face it, no cologne is going to cover the stench of BO...eww

[chaishai 1]

Hey, I'm in Oregon too!

Yes, my husband thinks it is better to save the $75.00 bucks towards his big plans to purchase a car.

I don't know whether to trust my husband submitted the enrollment forms or not! I think I will tell him after a week or two, "dear, I need to know your member # for your health insurance. Because my insurance needs to verify you are insured. It's the law." (a lie of course).

As for the BO...my husband showers daily. But he avoids deodarant.

At this point, I am making a point of avoiding him if he is "not fresh" and being very cuddly when I smell deodorant.

Positive reinforcement is good. Definitely lay on the compliments whenever he smells nice. Has he ever tended to overdo it on the cologne and bypass the antiperspirant/deodorant? If so, and if the deodorant doesn't have much of a scent, maybe he just isn't convinced it does much good. Maybe you could get him a really yummy-smelling deodorant and talk him into using it instead of cologne. My husband has found a couple of Axe flavors he likes. He buys them in sets with the deodorant and the spray together, and that does the job.

Have you ever just told him he stinks? When my husband has had the occasional foot odor and I have let him know he freaks out and washes them 1000 times and puts on spray and baby powder...

[Nutty 2]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

[Imua 0]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

[sereia 0]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

Well only you know how much you are willing to put up with before your breaking point. No one else can tell you what to do and when.

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

It's sad that things have worked out for you that way.

I thought he might make more effort if you told him you wanted to end it if he didn't pay you more attention. Will he have to go back to Iran if you decide to file for divorce and go back to India?

I hope things get better for you with or without him.

[caybee 21]

Positive reinforcement is good. Definitely lay on the compliments whenever he smells nice. Has he ever tended to overdo it on the cologne and bypass the antiperspirant/deodorant? If so, and if the deodorant doesn't have much of a scent, maybe he just isn't convinced it does much good. Maybe you could get him a really yummy-smelling deodorant and talk him into using it instead of cologne. My husband has found a couple of Axe flavors he likes. He buys them in sets with the deodorant and the spray together, and that does the job.

My husband does not have cologne yet. But he wants Lagerfeld. I think he thinks he can use lagerfeld cologne instead of deodorant.

All in all, there is still a lot of room for improvement in this relationship. But I see my husband making baby steps in trying to be better.

Your husband was an attorney back home? What kind of jobs is he applying for now?

My husband was not an attorney, but I think that was meant for someone else?

If he won't take the message from you or his workplace, he may just have to get the message from someone else he socializes with, although I don't know if guys normally let each other know. My husband and I double-check each other (hair, clothes, smell too, especially if we've been exercising) -- just a courtesy to each other, you know? You can't always tell what you smell like. Neither of us wants the other to be embarrassed in public. But if he really hasn't grasped that it's a problem, there's not much you can do except to tell him once again that you're letting him know for his own good.

[morocco4ever 63]

My husband and I double-check each other (hair, clothes, smell too, especially if we've been exercising) -- just a courtesy to each other, you know? You can't always tell what you smell like.

I have a vision in my head, as you stuff your underarm in your husbands nose and say "what do you think baby". Then he topples backwards onto the floor. I think that would be a strong sign to put on deoderant, don't you?

[Donna A 4]

my husband wouldnt wear deoderant either because he didnt like the feel of it on his skin so now he uses those body sprays like axe under his arms and seams to be ok with it. i think he thinks of it like a cologne then a deoderant so its ok. maybe have them try that instead of deo.

[Nutty 2]

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

It's sad that things have worked out for you that way.

I thought he might make more effort if you told him you wanted to end it if he didn't pay you more attention. Will he have to go back to Iran if you decide to file for divorce and go back to India?

I hope things get better for you with or without him.

It's alright. I've come to terms with the whole situation and I am making plans accordingly. Whether he stays or goes back to Iran is his deal. I don't really care.

How about wanting to smell nice for his wife?

I am not important anymore

Well only you know how much you are willing to put up with before your breaking point. No one else can tell you what to do and when.

Like I said before...Really I have adjusted to the situation and I am making plans to "move on." FInancially, living together at this point allows me to save a tidy nest egg for the year I will take to go to India.

[caybee 21]

My husband and I double-check each other (hair, clothes, smell too, especially if we've been exercising) -- just a courtesy to each other, you know? You can't always tell what you smell like.

I have a vision in my head, as you stuff your underarm in your husbands nose and say "what do you think baby". Then he topples backwards onto the floor. I think that would be a strong sign to put on deoderant, don't you?

Mainly I sniff his half-day shirts and then throw them at him if they don't pass.

First time he actually sniffed me, we were in Morocco and he had fed me something with fenugreek in it. He was checking to see if it was coming out through my pores yet. He gave me the Right proud of himself, he was

Dunno whether this is a Moroccan thing or not (he says it is), but the way my husband indicates that something stinks is he really wrinkles up his nose, grimaces with his mouth open, points at it, and then makes this sort of crackly, exhaling noise through his mouth. Cracks me up every time. He has yet to actually point at me, though, except in jest...I think