I am ready to pull all my hair out!!!!!

[Ladylethal 12]

I was gonna say that indeed, the problem is not place of origin, but 'cus they are men. That's why I helped my fiance from step 1, to make sure things would roll out fast, but he's preparing the I-134 in advance and all for now. Let's hope there won't be any delays now that it's his side to get things done quickly.

He did promptly gather the stuff I sent him and posted it.

[louandmikek3 0]

If he was the USC I'd say he's having second thoughts.

Why only if he is the US citizen?? I think if Mike and I could choose where to live between NY and a greek island we would both pick Greece (if it wouldn't be so dambed hard to do). You shouldn't assume that America is everyones dream place to live, I am sure he is moving to USA because of love not because she lives in America. Anyway I get the impression he is just in slow motion, nothing to do with second thoughts on either of their parts.

Sorry to be annoying about it, it just seemed like an odd thing to say.

Trust me...you are not alone with this one!!!! It seems that a lot of men (not all) from other Countries just have this laid back attitude.

My man is the US citizen and he was more than a little slow at times, and me at others. It's not just men from the med who have the manana, manana attitude - its just so bloody stressful sometimes you just need a little break from thinking about it...

But don't worry you will get there and live happily ever after, 3 weeks isn't that long when soon you will be enjoying the rest of your lives together.

[Ladylethal 12]

I didn't mean it in the sense that it's 'cus he IS american, but in the sense that he was the one to file the petition, and he's the one in the receiving end, the one who'll bring over a person to his country to be with him, it's big responsibility. I'd have said the same thing if the opposite situation took place. That it could be a possibility that the USC was nagging the foreign to get things ready for them to move to their country.

I'm always looking at my side, to leave my things, my family, my language, my country to move to US, and how hard it is for me to do that, but at the same time, imagine the weight on the shoulders of someone taking someone into their lives, their country, their culture. In our long distance relationship situation, to say I am tired, move out, is much harder than in close relationships, 'cus when you say move out to someone it means this person has to go back to their own country, where maybe they have nothing anymore.

But anyway, I am babbling away now and lost my point.

[PlatyPius 5]

One of the reasons I love my Sian so much is that she knows that nagging me about something will only make it take longer. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place. She isn't American. She doesn't have to have everything this very minute and rush rush about like a fool.

There's something to be said for being laid-back and relaxed about things. Lower blood pressure, for example. Less chance of aneurism or stroke. Remember that Americans are the unhealthiest people on the planet. It should be obvious why that is.

[Karen_L 1]

One of the reasons I love my Sian so much is that she knows that nagging me about something will only make it take longer. It's one of the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place. She isn't American. She doesn't have to have everything this very minute and rush rush about like a fool.

There's something to be said for being laid-back and relaxed about things. Lower blood pressure, for example. Less chance of aneurism or stroke. Remember that Americans are the unhealthiest people on the planet. It should be obvious why that is.

This is so, but there is a time to relax and calm down and there is a time to "move yer ###" (so to speak) lol. Also: nagging usually works just fine lol.

[Joey559 1]

I have just found out at work (I work at a radio station cluster) that it's national break up day ....SO everybody just take it easy today, let's not celebrate it

It's FRIDAY!!!!

Joey

[PlatyPius 5]

This is so, but there is a time to relax and calm down and there is a time to "move yer ###" (so to speak) lol. Also: nagging usually works just fine lol.

Oh, I moved my ####### just fine when it came to filing the paperwork. I did take an extra week to read everything available and triple-check all of the forms, though.

And no, nagging doesn't work on me at all. I detest nagging. Nagging = breaking up, in LarryWorld. I refuse to live with nagging in my life. If something is mentioned more than 3 or 4 times, I intentionally stall on it, just to show that I will not be nagged into doing something. I don't want control of the relationship, but I sure won't let someone else have all of the control, either. 50/50 and all that.

I don't think that most women truly realize the amount of resentment that builds up due to nagging. It may take 5 years or more to manifest itself, but it WILL manifest itself in one form or another. Just like a woman being married to a lazy slob will cause resentment and ultimate manifestation of that resentment.

Just because a guy gives in to the nagging to make it stop doesn't mean the issue is over. Us men can hold onto things for a long, long time, too. Therefore, I wouldn't say that it "usually works just fine."

Again, just my opinion.

[Joey559 1]

\ If something is mentioned more than 3 or 4 times, I intentionally stall on it, just to show that I will not be nagged into doing something. I don't want control of the relationship, but I sure won't let someone else have all of the control, either. 50/50 and all that.

Again, just my opinion.

Ah, passive aggressive personality, huh? You'd rather stall than mention the fact that you don't like to be nagged. I don't nag, with my fiance I don't need to, but the real reason is because I shouldn't have to expend the effort to do so. If you care more about proving you won't be nagged than you do about getting your a&& in gear on something so important then that is reason for break-up in "Joey world".

I'm not passive aggressive, just aggressive what else can you expect from a hockey girl?

Joey

[Cristy 4]

Mine is the USC too. So glad to hear I am not alone in my frustration.

[hockeygal 0]

Just a thought, but I think reading these forums all the time tends to make one a little jumpier about the process. It provides great info, but sometimes ignorance is bliss!

[jen&darcy 0]

Its called procrastination. We are both bad at this. It was one of my New Years resolutions that failed.

[Joey559 1]

Just a thought, but I think reading these forums all the time tends to make one a little jumpier about the process. It provides great info, but sometimes ignorance is bliss!

I agree 100% hockeygal. I'm on here often during the day but try to force myself not to get on the evenings/weekends...it doesn't always work, but I TRY.

Joey

[maya62 7]

I can relate to the OP's complaint, too. In our case, I think my then fiance was slow with certain items for several reasons including the fact that time is viewed very differently in their culture, the fact that he is a man (and ever-so-slightly resistant to taking direction from a woman), and also the fact that some of the things I asked him to do/get were just not readily available or available in the same fashion they are here in the States. I erred on the side of caution and over-preparedness, so some of the things I asked him to do/get were not needed (read too many horror stories on VJ... lol).

It is now ancient history and we are very happily married since last November.

So hang in there!!!

Maya

[mimi2005 1]

My fiance is very slow in getting things done, too. I had to laugh (desperate? ) a couple of times reading this thread. I try to take it with humor but its not always working... AND he is the USC and Im the foreigner... he already had all my paperwork for the petitions weeks before he had all his stuff together... I guess its a male thing... He still doesnt know anything about the whole visa process and he hates it when Im trying to explain him something. To his mind he - as US-C - should be the one who knows all that, but he does not!!!! Sometimes I just wanna scream!!!!!!

[mimi2005 1]

My fiance is very slow in getting things done, too. I had to laugh (desperate? ) a couple of times reading this thread. I try to take it with humor but its not always working... AND he is the USC and Im the foreigner... he already had all my paperwork for the petitions weeks before he had all his stuff together... I guess its a male thing... He still doesnt know anything about the whole visa process and he hates it when Im trying to explain him something. To his mind he - as US-C - should be the one who knows all that, but he does not!!!! Sometimes I just wanna scream!!!!!!