HELP ! ! ! VJ FAMILY.

[xty 0]

Hi..... this is my first posting nice to belong here.

I met my hubby during my last visit on 2004, I stayed 3 weeks then and went back.

We used to talk on the phone and he sounds so nice.

I choose to visit him during my vacation 2005. He was able to convince me to stay,

since he is USC that its going to be easy for me to get my papers and start my life here.

I reigned from my job by post and stayed with him, we got married.. Nov 2005.

He has filled in for me ( AOS.... with my B1 visa)

Now am so frustrated, empty in side and out, his social life is ZERO, he got nothing upstairs.

am always in tears and agony..... , afriad I might break down soon.

My question???

Is there anything I can do to reverse my visa to B1/B2 ......... just to be visiting.

Please ! my vj family am really in pains here...no happiness here.

Thanks in advance for all ur contirbution.

[joej 0]

So sorry to hear of your troubles. I bet many of us thought we had married strangers as well. lol. I don't think you can go back to having a visitors visa as long as you are married to a USC. I'm confused by your post though. If you are unhappy and don't want to stay in the US then why not divorce or anull the marriage then return to Nigeria? Also, isn't a visitors visa only good for 90 days?

Also, I have been wondering if a large part of your unhappiness is a result of the major adjustment you have made in moving here? The first couple of months seem to be the hardest. It does get easier though, according to my hubby. Finding some friends, getting a job, and or taking some classes can really help. Anyway VJ is a great site to vent about troubles as well as gaining knowledge.

Best wishes

[mandolinv 0]

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear things aren't very good. Being together in person is a whole different thing than being together on the phone and e-mail. I never realized how different it could be, but it is. Basically, you need to decide if it is worth fighting for. If it is, you have to talk. You have to communicate how you are feeling and what you would like to happen and what you need to happen. If you don't think you want to commit to fighting for it, you need to be honest to him and yourself about that also. Sometimes, the hardest thing is the indecision and the waiting to make a move. Like Joej suggested, whether you decide to fight for your life together or not, find ways to make yourself happy. He can never do it whether you decide to stay with him or not. Only you can make you happy. Find ways to do things you enjoy and to meet people. Look at local colleges, community centers, churches (if you are interested in that type of thing), and other places where you might find people to talk and make friends with. Unfortunately, I don't know much about B1/B2 visas so I can't help you there. But, we are all here to listen and to be here for you. I hope things get better for you soon.

[agsoba83 0]

xty-

nothing stops you from going back home, pack your bags and head back home. if you dont have the money, call your family in naija to send you the money. it's not worth it to be in a foreign country when you're not happy or willing to make yourself happy.

You'll have to be responsible for your happiness.

i just hope you did not marry him because you want to come to america or you want to leave him now that he has filed aos for you, and if he does not have any brains, why did you stoop so low to get involved with him in the first instance.

I wish you the best of luck.

[xty 0]

Thank you Joej and mandolinv for your understanding...... after reading your posting I was abit relieve....

since I cannot start school now or really do anything now because no ss# yet. I have to just wait and go into church activities....

[Jasman0717 9]

We are sorry to hear of your situation. Claudeth and I will pray for your situation to improve.

[xty 0]

Welcome. I'm sorry to hear things aren't very good. Being together in person is a whole different thing than being together on the phone and e-mail. I never realized how different it could be, but it is. Basically, you need to decide if it is worth fighting for. If it is, you have to talk. You have to communicate how you are feeling and what you would like to happen and what you need to happen. If you don't think you want to commit to fighting for it, you need to be honest to him and yourself about that also. Sometimes, the hardest thing is the indecision and the waiting to make a move. Like Joej suggested, whether you decide to fight for your life together or not, find ways to make yourself happy. He can never do it whether you decide to stay with him or not. Only you can make you happy. Find ways to do things you enjoy and to meet people. Look at local colleges, community centers, churches (if you are interested in that type of thing), and other places where you might find people to talk and make friends with. Unfortunately, I don't know much about B1/B2 visas so I can't help you there. But, we are all here to listen and to be here for you. I hope things get better for you soon.

[xty 0]

xty-

nothing stops you from going back home, pack your bags and head back home. if you dont have the money, call your family in naija to send you the money. it's not worth it to be in a foreign country when you're not happy or willing to make yourself happy.

You'll have to be responsible for your happiness.

i just hope you did not marry him because you want to come to america or you want to leave him now that he has filed aos for you, and if he does not have any brains, why did you stoop so low to get involved with him in the first instance.

I wish you the best of Luck..

Thanks .. Jasman and Claudeth, I really need your prayers.

AGSOBA83......this 4 u.

If you care to know, I have visited us on my own many times..ok

2. I had a secured job whichI a have resigned as result of being with him.

am admitting my stooping low as my fault..

but you still cant just nail me people make mistakes.

he filed aos for me......lol......thats why I won do wetin...NO NO

E no dey shake man... no be today.

and please incase If you follow for the OMO's, wey dey paint themselves wetin they no be, cos una

dey YANKEE.. comot your hand there. So that you dont hurt people.

You sef.. You be really 9jaa , u no see as u dey sound ???

Only wetin I dey ask of now.. If I fit reverse my original visiting V. I go dey happy.

Well shaa ..thanks for ur contribution too.

SURE : I just realize that I have to be responsible for my happiness.

Thanks to you all

[agsoba83 0]

AGSOBA83......this 4 u.

If you care to know, I have visited us on my own many times..ok

2. I had a secured job whichI a have resigned as result of being with him.

am admitting my stooping low as my fault..

but you still cant just nail me people make mistakes.

he filed aos for me......lol......thats why I won do wetin...NO NO

E no dey shake man... no be today.

and please incase If you follow for the OMO's, wey dey paint themselves wetin they no be, cos una

dey YANKEE.. comot your hand there. So that you dont hurt people.

You sef.. You be really 9jaa , u no see as u dey sound ???

Only wetin I dey ask of now.. If I fit reverse my original visiting V. I go dey happy.

Well shaa ..thanks for ur contribution too.

SURE : I just realize that I have to be responsible for my happiness.

Thanks to you all

Xty-

i did not mean this to be a back and forth between you and i or meant it as a derogatory statement, i was just expressing what i know dey happen. U no talk 4 your post sey u dont dey come yankee several time b4 u meet the bobo, so i if i say i hope no be say bcos of papers you marry am, i just they express a credible opinion. It is true sey many naija's dey come home they show demselves for wetin dem no be, but you know, pple suppose look well well. I don see this dey happen several times wey be say woman dey marry men wey dem know know at all and for everyday na fight and abuse. i don see many examples and everytime i dey tell my people for naija say make them bcareful which man come from yankee come marry, because u never know which kind person the bobo be for this country and becos d bobo dey yankee no mean say na better person.

So once again, no offence meant from original post.

[joej 0]

Wow I cant understand what you guys are talking about. Is that Pigeon? Anyway I just wanted to add that in many cases you do not need a ss number to take adult education classes. While my husband was waiting for his ss number he took some community education classes as well as ESL classes. They do not give college credit for those most time, but it was so nice for him to be out and about. Also he took drivers education and was only required to furnish a ss number at the end of the course. I feel so bad that your hubby has not got you into any of these things. Really I can't imagine you trying to do this on your own. He should know that this is a completely different place. Does he expect you to stay at home? Just curious.

[mandolinv 0]

Yeah, I can't wait to get home to have my husband explain what they were saying to each other.

[idocare 3]

Hey, I understood you, hopefully you can go back to your old statis where you already had a job willing to sign a visa for you. Did you all attend and interview and was it approved ?

[xty 0]

gosssh .....lol....... Joej & Mandolinv

I forgot that you have husband who can explain to you what I means ........wooooow

Am jealoussss...............

Joej, thank you for that.. I got the school # I called them and they ask me to come on monday.

I am so excited to belong to VJ family......You can see what I mean, am strictly on my own.

If I dont get this Information here.... .. sorry

Please keep posting me what necessary to do... I appreciate.

Hope you have started learning how to make Nigerian soup..

Wish you the best.. say me HI.. to my Bros..

[xty 0]

AGSOBA83......this 4 u.

If you care to know, I have visited us on my own many times..ok

2. I had a secured job whichI a have resigned as result of being with him.

am admitting my stooping low as my fault..

but you still cant just nail me people make mistakes.

he filed aos for me......lol......thats why I won do wetin...NO NO

E no dey shake man... no be today.

and please incase If you follow for the OMO's, wey dey paint themselves wetin they no be, cos una

dey YANKEE.. comot your hand there. So that you dont hurt people.

You sef.. You be really 9jaa , u no see as u dey sound ???

Only wetin I dey ask of now.. If I fit reverse my original visiting V. I go dey happy.

Well shaa ..thanks for ur contribution too.

SURE : I just realize that I have to be responsible for my happiness.

Thanks to you all

Xty-

i did not mean this to be a back and forth between you and i or meant it as a derogatory statement, i was just expressing what i know dey happen. U no talk 4 your post sey u dont dey come yankee several time b4 u meet the bobo, so i if i say i hope no be say bcos of papers you marry am, i just they express a credible opinion. It is true sey many naija's dey come home they show demselves for wetin dem no be, but you know, pple suppose look well well. I don see this dey happen several times wey be say woman dey marry men wey dem know know at all and for everyday na fight and abuse. i don see many examples and everytime i dey tell my people for naija say make them bcareful which man come from yankee come marry, because u never know which kind person the bobo be for this country and becos d bobo dey yankee no mean say na better person.

So once again, no offence meant from original post.

AGSOBA83....

No shaking BROS........ One Love my people

I don come, I don come.. so make we see how far e go be.

I for no mind go back ooo but for where I go start . You know levels now.

All the same.. I will keep your posted.

[sweetee 0]

AGSOBA83......this 4 u.

If you care to know, I have visited us on my own many times..ok

2. I had a secured job whichI a have resigned as result of being with him.

am admitting my stooping low as my fault..

but you still cant just nail me people make mistakes.

he filed aos for me......lol......thats why I won do wetin...NO NO

E no dey shake man... no be today.

and please incase If you follow for the OMO's, wey dey paint themselves wetin they no be, cos una

dey YANKEE.. comot your hand there. So that you dont hurt people.

You sef.. You be really 9jaa , u no see as u dey sound ???

Only wetin I dey ask of now.. If I fit reverse my original visiting V. I go dey happy.

Well shaa ..thanks for ur contribution too.

SURE : I just realize that I have to be responsible for my happiness.

Thanks to you all

Xty-

i did not mean this to be a back and forth between you and i or meant it as a derogatory statement, i was just expressing what i know dey happen. U no talk 4 your post sey u dont dey come yankee several time b4 u meet the bobo, so i if i say i hope no be say bcos of papers you marry am, i just they express a credible opinion. It is true sey many naija's dey come home they show demselves for wetin dem no be, but you know, pple suppose look well well. I don see this dey happen several times wey be say woman dey marry men wey dem know know at all and for everyday na fight and abuse. i don see many examples and everytime i dey tell my people for naija say make them bcareful which man come from yankee come marry, because u never know which kind person the bobo be for this country and becos d bobo dey yankee no mean say na better person.

So once again, no offence meant from original post.

AGSOBA83....

No shaking BROS........ One Love my people

I don come, I don come.. so make we see how far e go be.

I for no mind go back ooo but for where I go start . You know levels now.

All the same.. I will keep your posted.

xty:

My wife called me to interprete the broken english you guys were using and fortunately or unfortunately i found the conversations so interesting and pitiful so i feel i should chip in lil advice to you.

Look my sister,I understand the kind of mistake wey you do but you no go just sit down there dey think whether to go back to naija abi na to stay here.As you said you resigned from your job in nigeria,you go find am hard to start all over again and your level for naija will go down been that you'll be staying without a job.but if you think that you can get that kind of handsome job back i don't mind advicing you to go back but if you know say you no fit get the job back,abeg stay here and have patience.as a woman you fit change that man.you fit make him know a lot he never knew since you said he no get something for up.Instead of coming in here making dem yankee people think say we dey marry dem for green card abeg make you seek advice from fellow naija people wey live near you cos it's better.i know say what you are going thru seems unbearable to you but you have to consider the other side of it cos somebody fit print this and use it against you because you sounded like you marry the bobo for paper.

like you said in your last qoute,you don come, you don come.so be a real woman and face it.

i wish you good luck.

iyke