How can ou tell if you have been used for a green card?

[Maysa 0]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Well, I guess I will stay with him if he is using me maybe he will still love me. Is that possible? I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Well, I guess I will stay with him if he is using me maybe he will still love me. Is that possible? I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

Are you serious?

[William33 110]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Well, I guess I will stay with him if he is using me maybe he will still love me. Is that possible? I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

That is seriously wrong thinking.

As an example, my wife would prefer for us to live in her home country, which we did for 18 months but had to return to the US for another job. We lived in Rome for 2 years, same story.

Given the chance, we will happily move to Indonesia in a heartbeat.

[Maysa 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

Not wanting kids, or not wanting them right away, is not a sign of a questionable relationship.

Good point Scott!

So how to know? Are you saying this "diesel head" could still bring kids into a marriage which may be broken?

They are saying that just because someone doesnt want kids, or doesnt want them right away DOES NOT mean they dont love you, or that its not a valid relationship.

I think "quizzing,tricking or otherwise trying to coax something out of your husband is not a good idea.

If you really think that he is using you or her... ask yourself WHY you think that, what makes you feel this way? is it some feeling you have? something they have said or done? or is it simply because they are a forgiener and you have heard stories and you are "being careful". You are married now and "tricking" your husband is not the best approac. All of those trick questions should have been raised VERY early on, if you were questioning intentions

Good luck

Lisa

editted because I just saw that you wrote that he has said that he doesnt think a black wife is good enough(paraphrasing)

if this is true, id say... uh ya, thats a BIG red flag!

Yes this all came up after a friend of his made a remark about somebody going to South Africa to marry and they all acted like it was taboo to marry someone who was darker than a jar of honey. But my cousin is like the color of Toni Braxton or something. Anyway, I think it is totally BS. I guess I wont worry about myself. I better just have her join this site for support, looks like she is going to be needing it. Ugh....this sucks!

Edited November 8, 2008 by Maysa

[*JG* 2]

A red flag is something you look for before the wedding.

In theory, yes. But, in reality, it doesn't always show till much later.

I've always had these "red flags" I lived by. This year, I had a friend disprove all my red flags in her relationship. She changed my mind.

If you feel something is wrong, go with it. Question it until it is resolved in your mind. I trust my intuition.

[Maysa 0]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Well, I guess I will stay with him if he is using me maybe he will still love me. Is that possible? I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

Are you serious?

I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

-Yes come on guys do you think these people are lurking around on the net to fall in love with USC for nothing?

[William33 110]

-Yes come on guys do you think these people are lurking around on the net to fall in love with USC for nothing?

You are going long on the assumption that we all met on the internet. Some people actually met in person.

[Maysa 0]

A red flag is something you look for before the wedding.

In theory, yes. But, in reality, it doesn't always show till much later.

I've always had these "red flags" I lived by. This year, I had a friend disprove all my red flags in her relationship. She changed my mind.

If you feel something is wrong, go with it. Question it until it is resolved in your mind. I trust my intuition.

So do you think we are used in the initial stage but these people eventually fall in love? I mean I see this all over the green card fever is like the new plague.

Even in person it stands the same. They want a GC!

Edited November 8, 2008 by Maysa

[*JG* 2]

You are always going to have the naysayers that think that way. Go with what you think and feel.

A red flag is something you look for before the wedding.

In theory, yes. But, in reality, it doesn't always show till much later.

I've always had these "red flags" I lived by. This year, I had a friend disprove all my red flags in her relationship. She changed my mind.

If you feel something is wrong, go with it. Question it until it is resolved in your mind. I trust my intuition.

So do you think we are used in the initial stage but these people eventually fall in love? I mean I see this all over the green card fever is like the new plague.

Even in person it stands the same. They want a GC!

I don't know about you. But, I am not included in that we. I don't ever feel, nor have I ever felt, that I was used for anything.

Time tells my tale.

[star_dragon 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

I have been to Morocco, and let me tell you I had a very bad time there and bad experience with the people. I am sure not all Moroccans are bad, but from my experience I do not trust them. Hopefully your sister is not being used.

I know one Moroccan man who married a US citiszn and he is still married to her after he received his citizenship.

Hey, I agree I think you can not trust these men they are after one thing and when they get it they are gone!

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

[*JG* 2]

That said, Maysa, I have heard many horrible tales of people being used. It does happen all the time.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Maysa.

If you feel so strongly about it, why did you marry a foriegner?

and the arab and morrocan bashing can cease and disist anytime soon please. thanks

[Sinergy 3]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Well, I guess I will stay with him if he is using me maybe he will still love me. Is that possible? I would say 80% of us were used initially for a way to immigrate here.

wow, very very shallow. speak only for yourself and your SO, im sure 80% of US would disagree with you immensely

[William33 110]

The OP intentionally ignores the salient points, raised with the intention of eliciting necessary information for good advice.

Why is that?

[Sinergy 3]

Maysa.

If you feel so strongly about it, why did you marry a foriegner?

and the arab and morrocan bashing can cease and disist anytime soon please. thanks

Since it is a violation of TOS