How can ou tell if you have been used for a green card?

[Dakine 26]

If in doubt hold off adjusting status for awhile and see what reactions you get.

[Maysa 0]

If in doubt hold off adjusting status for awhile and see what reactions you get.

Well my cousin, I refer to as my sister but I am white and she is bi-racial. She looks black her husband is telling others that he needs to marry a white lady on the side to please him fully that a black girl is not good enough??? ####### Does this seem fair?

[rocks 494]

Well my cousin, I refer to as my sister but I am white and she is bi-racial. She looks black her husband is telling others that he needs to marry a white lady on the side to please him fully that a black girl is not good enough??? ####### Does this seem fair?

wow, he sounds like a horrible person.

[Maysa 0]

Hello! My sister recently married a guy from Morocco and she feels he may have used her to migrate to the USA. Are there any signs she can look for to know if he is using her or not? They have been married 3 months and she will start the paprwork this coming Monday with their lawyer but she wants to confirm everything is legitamate and he is not using her. I am married to a man from another country too and I am starting to wonder if he loves me or used me too now since it is fairly common these days. Any red flags to look for?

Maysa

In all seriousness, these situations are highly individual, and no one can analyze your relationship or concerns from afar. I think there's something to following your gut, tho. My previous post was sarcastic (for that I apologize), but a common thread in many of the USC-as-green-card-vehicle stories is an obvious infidelity.

You may want to check out this section of the site if you haven't already:

Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits.

It's not very uplifting reading, but there are many stories about USCs being used for US residency.

Well, is there something in the Arab culture where they prefer white skin over black and feel the need to have an extra wife on the side in a sense they believe black women are beneath them? I feel this because he has been telling people he does not feel he can be happy with only a black wife that he needs a white wife too. But at the same time I know a few men from there who seem happily married to black women.

As for me, I am white but I am mixed because my family is from Hawaii and I have sort of "the look" but I am white in skin. I do not know if my husband finds my skin an issue at all but I feel he may just wanted to immigrate here??? But, how do I go about figuring it out? What q's to ask?

Maysa

Edited November 8, 2008 by Maysa

[rocks 494]

Hello! My sister recently married a guy from Morocco and she feels he may have used her to migrate to the USA. Are there any signs she can look for to know if he is using her or not? They have been married 3 months and she will start the paprwork this coming Monday with their lawyer but she wants to confirm everything is legitamate and he is not using her. I am married to a man from another country too and I am starting to wonder if he loves me or used me too now since it is fairly common these days. Any red flags to look for?

Maysa

In all seriousness, these situations are highly individual, and no one can analyze your relationship or concerns from afar. I think there's something to following your gut, tho. My previous post was sarcastic (for that I apologize), but a common thread in many of the USC-as-green-card-vehicle stories is an obvious infidelity.

You may want to check out this section of the site if you haven't already:

Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits.

It's not very uplifting reading, but there are many stories about USCs being used for US residency.

Well, is there something in the Arab culture where they prefer white skin over black and feel the need to have an extra wife on the side in a sense they believe black women are beneath them? I feel this because he has been telling people he does not feel he can be happy with only a black wife that he needs a white wife too. But at the same time I know a few men from there who seem happily married to black women.

As for me, I am white but I am mixed because my family is from Hawaii and I have sort of "the look" but I am white in skin. I do not know if my husband finds my skin an issue at all but I feel he may just wanted to immigrate here??? But, how do I go about figuring it out? What q's to ask?

Maysa

when you say wife, do you mean an actual wife or for him to have an affair?

[Tree 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

I have been to Morocco, and let me tell you I had a very bad time there and bad experience with the people. I am sure not all Moroccans are bad, but from my experience I do not trust them. Hopefully your sister is not being used.

I know one Moroccan man who married a US citiszn and he is still married to her after he received his citizenship.

[Maysa 0]

Hello! My sister recently married a guy from Morocco and she feels he may have used her to migrate to the USA. Are there any signs she can look for to know if he is using her or not? They have been married 3 months and she will start the paprwork this coming Monday with their lawyer but she wants to confirm everything is legitamate and he is not using her. I am married to a man from another country too and I am starting to wonder if he loves me or used me too now since it is fairly common these days. Any red flags to look for?

Maysa

In all seriousness, these situations are highly individual, and no one can analyze your relationship or concerns from afar. I think there's something to following your gut, tho. My previous post was sarcastic (for that I apologize), but a common thread in many of the USC-as-green-card-vehicle stories is an obvious infidelity.

You may want to check out this section of the site if you haven't already:

Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits.

"Actual" as in polygamy.

It's not very uplifting reading, but there are many stories about USCs being used for US residency.

Well, is there something in the Arab culture where they prefer white skin over black and feel the need to have an extra wife on the side in a sense they believe black women are beneath them? I feel this because he has been telling people he does not feel he can be happy with only a black wife that he needs a white wife too. But at the same time I know a few men from there who seem happily married to black women.

As for me, I am white but I am mixed because my family is from Hawaii and I have sort of "the look" but I am white in skin. I do not know if my husband finds my skin an issue at all but I feel he may just wanted to immigrate here??? But, how do I go about figuring it out? What q's to ask?

Maysa

when you say wife, do you mean an actual wife or for him to have an affair?

[Maysa 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

I have been to Morocco, and let me tell you I had a very bad time there and bad experience with the people. I am sure not all Moroccans are bad, but from my experience I do not trust them. Hopefully your sister is not being used.

I know one Moroccan man who married a US citiszn and he is still married to her after he received his citizenship.

Oh so are you black too then?

Also, if he wants kids he is ok? Kids=he is okay with marrying forever?

He wants actual wife....or affair I guess.

Edited November 8, 2008 by Maysa

[Maysa 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

I have been to Morocco, and let me tell you I had a very bad time there and bad experience with the people. I am sure not all Moroccans are bad, but from my experience I do not trust them. Hopefully your sister is not being used.

I know one Moroccan man who married a US citiszn and he is still married to her after he received his citizenship.

Hey, I agree I think you can not trust these men they are after one thing and when they get it they are gone!

[Scott & Lai 12]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

Not wanting kids, or not wanting them right away, is not a sign of a questionable relationship.

[William33 110]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

Not wanting kids, or not wanting them right away, is not a sign of a questionable relationship.

Good point Scott!

[Maysa 0]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

Not wanting kids, or not wanting them right away, is not a sign of a questionable relationship.

Good point Scott!

So how to know? Are you saying this "diesel head" could still bring kids into a marriage which may be broken?

[Ban Hammer 13,643]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

Tell her to tell him that she wants to have kids, and see his reaction.

Tell her to say she wants kids right away.

Not wanting kids, or not wanting them right away, is not a sign of a questionable relationship.

Good point Scott!

So how to know? Are you saying this "diesel head" could still bring kids into a marriage which may be broken?

They are saying that just because someone doesnt want kids, or doesnt want them right away DOES NOT mean they dont love you, or that its not a valid relationship.

I think "quizzing,tricking or otherwise trying to coax something out of your husband is not a good idea.

If you really think that he is using you or her... ask yourself WHY you think that, what makes you feel this way? is it some feeling you have? something they have said or done? or is it simply because they are a forgiener and you have heard stories and you are "being careful". You are married now and "tricking" your husband is not the best approac. All of those trick questions should have been raised VERY early on, if you were questioning intentions

Good luck

Lisa

editted because I just saw that you wrote that he has said that he doesnt think a black wife is good enough(paraphrasing)

if this is true, id say... uh ya, thats a BIG red flag!

Edited November 8, 2008 by Y_habibitk

[Maysa 0]

just have one of your pretty girlfriends hit on him. you'll know what the real deal is then. just make sure your girlfriend is someone you really trust.

I doubt that will help. Anyway, my hubby is still overseas. I need ways to know while his lil'behind is still over there. I fear less for myself than my cousin with this diesel head she is married to. Moroccans seem to use people left and right to immigrate here.

Edited November 8, 2008 by Maysa