Key to a Happy Marriage

[Alli and Léo 0]

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary

on the Beaches in Montego Bay, Jamaica. Their domestic

tranquility had long been the Talk of the town. People would

say, 'What a peaceful & loving couple'. The

local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of

their Long and happy marriage.

The Husband replied: 'Well, it dates back to our

honeymoon in America,' explained the man. 'We

visited the Grand Canyon, in Arizona, and took a trip down

to the bottom of the canyon, by horse. We hadn't gone

too far when my wife's horse stumbled and she almost

fell off. My wife looked down at the horse and quietly said,

'That's once.' 'We proceeded a little

further and her horse stumbled again. My wife quietly said,

'That's twice.' We hadn't gone a half-mile

when the horse stumbled for the third time my wife quietly

removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.

I SHOUTE D at her, 'What's wrong with you, Woman!

Why did you shoot the poor animal like that, are you

frigging crazy!?' She looked at ME, and quietly said,

'That's once.'

[*JG* 2]

Hee hee. I used that counting line just last weekend as a joke.

[rocks 494]

good one

[Jasman0717 9]

[NickD 203]

Wife just told me to say "Sí querida" to anything she tells me, and we will get along fine. Have to translate that some day.

[Alli and Léo 0]

When I was going up...my dad received several minor self inflicted injuries...from hitting his thumb with the hammer or just working on the car, etc. When people asked him what happened he would always respond..."Well, my wife told me 'shut-up' but thought she said 'stand-up'" or something to that effect.

[almaty 19]

when i was younger and with fae..i always wish she give me 3 chances before an azz kicking..lucky #######.

[Alli and Léo 0]

[Nessa 23]

[Niels Bohr 72]

I thought if you were born right, the male is the key to a happy marriage!

[Ban Hammer 13,651]

I thought if you were born right, the male is the key to a happy marriage!

what if you are born left?

[Niels Bohr 72]

I thought if you were born right, the male is the key to a happy marriage!

what if you are born left?

He becomes a lefty.

[Ban Hammer 13,651]

I thought if you were born right, the male is the key to a happy marriage!

what if you are born left?

He becomes a lefty.

missing the left and right connection, eh?

[Alli and Léo 0]

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything.

They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except

that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had

cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little

old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover .

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and

took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what

was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of

money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, my

grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue . She told me

that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls

were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of

living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?

Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

[Ban Hammer 13,651]

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything.

They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except

that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had

cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little

old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover .

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and

took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what

was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of

money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, my

grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue . She told me

that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls

were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of

living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money?

Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'