Tempering Toddler Tantrums Now May Prevent Aggression Later

[sara..... 371]

our mother had a great way of dealing with something like that kid simple words darling would u like for us to go to the van now........translation.......stop it or i will take u out to the van and beat ur butt

[Danno 1,228]

We used the restroom.

It only takes one trip and the child knows you mean business what you talk.

The Wussy parents (poor things) spend the first decade (or more) of a kids life begging them to

"Listen". Consulting handbooks and Child rearing guru's.

I think the biggest fraud on TV is the "Super Nanny" (or whatever it is called).

[IAMX 3,055]

We used the restroom.

It only takes one trip and the child knows you mean business what you talk.

The Wussy parents (poor things) spend the first decade (or more) of a kids life begging them to

"Listen". Consulting handbooks and Child rearing guru's.

I think the biggest fraud on TV is the "Super Nanny" (or whatever it is called).

One thing that's most disappointing to me is how a couple friends of mine (husband and wife) differ on raising their kids. She tends to sit at the computer most of the day while letting her kids raise hell (okie style parenting), dad comes home, wants order, kids going buck wild, they don't listen, and he looks outrageous if he smack them one for not listening. So he's resigned to begging and pleading with his kids, and they argue a lot when it comes to, well, pretty much everything.

Cases like this prove the worst thing for a child's development, particularly in discipline, is parents not singing the same tune and cooperating.

Edited November 2, 2008 by SRVT

[*Robert* 2]

"okie style parenting"? what the hell is that? and what's it got to do with Oklahoma?

[Amby 490]

My sister is 19 and still throw tantrums and they still work

I was never disciplined, never had any rules, never told no, and I've turned out pretty good.

[IAMX 3,055]

"okie style parenting"? what the hell is that? and what's it got to do with Oklahoma?

Come to California and you'll see what okies mean here.

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

"okie style parenting"? what the hell is that? and what's it got to do with Oklahoma?

Come to California and you'll see what okies mean here.

sounds snobby.

[IAMX 3,055]

"okie style parenting"? what the hell is that? and what's it got to do with Oklahoma?

Come to California and you'll see what okies mean here.

sounds snobby.

You must not have read your Wikipedia entry right.

[Danno 1,228]

My sister is 19 and still throw tantrums and they still work

I was never disciplined, never had any rules, never told no, and I've turned out pretty good.

Did you also have bouts of self delusion?

[Amby 490]

My sister is 19 and still throw tantrums and they still work

I was never disciplined, never had any rules, never told no, and I've turned out pretty good.

Did you also have bouts of self delusion?

You're a d*ck

[one...two...tree 2,762]

My sister is 19 and still throw tantrums and they still work

I was never disciplined, never had any rules, never told no, and I've turned out pretty good.

IMO, children (even adults) need boundaries. Boundaries mean knowing the limits of their freedom to do or say whatever they want. As adults, most of those boundaries are self imposed - we know we'd alienate ourselves from everyone else if we said or did anything we wanted without considering others. That should be the goal of parents - and there are very effective ways in helping to modify a child's behavior. One thing is for certain - children want and need love and attention...and those two factors are important in helping shape their behavior into adulthood. Although I think spanking a young child under certain circumstances is appropriate, teaching children there are consequences, both positive and negative for their behavior should be the goal of all parents. If a child leaves his bike out on the driveway when his father has told him several times to put it away inside the garage should have the bike taken away from them for a period of time as an appropriate consequence. However, it seems that some people think in such a case it would be perfectly appropriate to use physical punishment as a consequence. I think that sends the wrong message to the child.

Edited November 2, 2008 by Mister Fancypants

[sara..... 371]

We used the restroom.

It only takes one trip and the child knows you mean business what you talk.

The Wussy parents (poor things) spend the first decade (or more) of a kids life begging them to

"Listen". Consulting handbooks and Child rearing guru's.

I think the biggest fraud on TV is the "Super Nanny" (or whatever it is called).

lol the nanny show......we dont even watch anymore the urge to reach into the tv and give some reality to the parents and the children is just to strong if any one of us had acted out like that i cant even begin to think of what would have happened......kids need structure and they need limits......they also need a lot of love and sadly sometimes that love has to include rules they have to follow.......how can they grow up to be useful adults if they cant even respect their parents and their own home?

if more parents really took care of their children im afraid that counselors would be out of work there are kids out there that do really have problems but for the most part of them they are spoiled brats that never are made to listen to NO.......that does not mean u have to beat ur child that is wrong too but a good spanking never hurt any child and i have been in the receiving end of a couple of them..........i did not grow up angry or mentally messed up i think that when a child is really an abused child they are the ones that are never heard from until its too late most the kids out there that are screaming child abuse are just kids that could not get what they wanted a neighbor of ours ended up in family court cuz he had a son that called child protective services on his dad cuz he was not allowed to go out with his friends that family ended up loosing all of their children until they proved that nothing was ever done wrong with them.......the boy claimed his dad had hit him .......the father believed in time out and talking...........i see a lot of kids playing the system that was put into place to protect the really abused children because here in our state they believe the child and make the parent prove that the kid is not telling the truth........

[Eveline 9]

I totally agree with MR. Fancypant...what's with the smacking? I have a 20 month old and I know tantrums but I guess he's not as bad as some other kids. He doesn't throw things or beats his head against the wall, hits etc. He just lays on the floor, crying. There's no need for me to smack him, won't teach him anything except that violence is ok. If he gets on my nerves with crying the whole time I send him to his room and he cries there or I somehow distract him, that sometimes works. He's ok in public places, supermarkets, restaurants so I don't have to worry about that (yet).

[Ban Hammer 13,352]

"okie style parenting"? what the hell is that? and what's it got to do with Oklahoma?

Come to California and you'll see what okies mean here.

sounds snobby.

You must not have read your Wikipedia entry right.

okies mean someone from oklahoma.

[Amby 490]

My sister is 19 and still throw tantrums and they still work

I was never disciplined, never had any rules, never told no, and I've turned out pretty good.

IMO, children (even adults) need boundaries. Boundaries mean knowing the limits of their freedom to do or say whatever they want. As adults, most of those boundaries are self imposed - we know we'd alienate ourselves from everyone else if we said or did anything we wanted without considering others. That should be the goal of parents - and there are very effective ways in helping to modify a child's behavior. One thing is for certain - children want and need love and attention...and those two factors are important in helping shape their behavior into adulthood. Although I think spanking a young child under certain circumstances is appropriate, teaching children there are consequences, both positive and negative for their behavior should be the goal of all parents. If a child leaves his bike out on the driveway when his father has told him several times to put it away inside the garage should have the bike taken away from them for a period of time as an appropriate consequence. However, it seems that some people think in such a case it would be perfectly appropriate to use physical punishment as a consequence. I think that sends the wrong message to the child.

I never had boundaries but with that came taking responsibility for any mistakes I made and having to live with the consequences of those mistakes. My dad spiraled out of control with drugs when my brother died 10yrs ago and ended up in prison. He chose a really good time to make all of the really bad mistakes because I got to see first hand what those types of choices do to a person. I didn't have to make those kind of mistakes on my own. I think my sister was too young to remember and just missed that step.