Homesick

[Marilyn. 340]

my favourite tea is orange pekoe.. I have taken to keeping some bags in my purse for work because all they have there is fancy schmancy herbal tea

[SapphireDreams 71]

This thread has been very interesting for me. I'm totally preparing for the worst when I move when it comes to homesickness. When I went away to University, I got very depressed. It was a combination of a lot of things, but being away from my element really threw me off. I was only an hour away, but I hated the city/town, hated the people and just had a bad attitude overall. For me, attitude is everything.

I will 100% miss my family. We are so close and I love watching my nephew grow up, hanging out with my sister whenever, eating my Mom's delicious food. There are a lot of family things I will miss.

I'll miss my friends, especially with all of the amazing shopping around and no one to shop with at first. I'll miss my job and the amazing people who have mentored me.

But, I'm pretty confident that NYC is where I'm meant to be and that's what makes me confident I'll be okay, maybe not great all the time, but okay in the end. In a lot of ways it reminds me of Toronto, but in a lot of ways it is different and I'm okay with that. I know how to get around and we will live in an urban area with access to jobs in my profession, shopping, dance classes, pilates, gyms, airports to go home anytime etc. R and I will work the same schedule as we both work in similar industries. Those were all things I've thought very hard about and continue to research for when I do get there. I intend to maintain my identity by doing the things that I do here (ballet classes, a job in PR, my jewelry business) If these things weren't available to me, I wouldn't move. he would move here hands down.

Luckily NYC is a very diverse place so I've never dealt with ignorance and I actually enjoy being anonymous in a city of millions. I'm not and will never be a small town girl, hehe.

Having been dating for over 5 years now long distance, I think it has really given me a very long time to think this through and know what I'm getting into. Even in our 4th and 5th year of dating there are things I learned about where I would be moving that scared the ####### out of me. I can't imagine what it would be like with only 2 years or even less of visits behind us.

I've saved quite a significant amount of money and plan to save even more, because like someone else mentioned money counts for a lot. So I'm lucky not to have any worries about that.

But anyways, I'm sure I'll eat my words shortly and gasp at how confident I am now. I'm definitely keeping my expectations low though. I learned my lesson when I went away to University!

[vanee 13]

I'm sorry to read about all the sad experiences in this thread.

I'm not sure if I should post my experience here when it has been much better than many, but I decided to post it to add to the range of experiences.

While I have moments of homesickness, my adjustment has been relatively easy. It helped a lot that I was here twice for 2 months at a time as well as for a 3-week visit before I moved here. Being married has been an adventure, of course, but I knew what it was like here, and I'd already gotten to know some people who live here. Another big benefit is that my husband and I both work from home, so we're together a lot, and we always have something to do. And while there isn't nearly the diversity that I was used to in Vancouver, people here are friendly and accepting.

Being involved as a volunteer has helped immensely too. I have responsibilities, I'm contributing to the community, and I'm interacting with and getting to know people. Last spring, I was a volunteer coach for Girls on the Run, and I've been volunteering for the local SPCA.

The above variables aren't going to happen for everyone, but volunteering is one that's available to most of us. If it's feasible, I really recommend volunteering in a role where you're part of the team and doing something that you enjoy doing. You forget that you're a foreigner as you get involved in your role, and you have opportunities to make new friends as well.

[MsZ 6]

Nothing like doing something for someone else to take you out of yourself for a while. Very good advice on volunteering! Help us poor Americans. We need all the help we can get!!! ;-)

[MsZ 6]

Too funny about orange pekoe -- I'm an Earl Grey person and my husband wants what I consider plain, OP.

That said, Sweet Tea....Mmmm, Mmmm. And I'm not even Southern! (Can't get it up here. Lipton was making a Sweet Tea but it didn't fly in the NE. So gotta make my own if I want it and I'm too lazy.)

[bluegreen 0]

Any who, I know what you are saying about losing your identity. I defined myself as Canadian and British for the most part. I try to buy my tea online and british sweets when I can, but it's not the same as having my mum brew me a cuppa after dinner. Ya know? There is such a big British backing in Canada that no matter where you turn, you usually can find someone of British decent.

I totally get that! A good cuppa just isn't good enough unless somebody else makes it for you! Or you steal theirs. James thinks I'm a freak because I drink tea hot Personally, I think *he's* the freak for drinking it cold and so dang sweet!

speaking of which...I think I'll put kettle on. Anybody for tea? I've got a nice big pot, and no one to share it with

YES!! I'd LOVE a cup. I don't think my husband gets the tea thing yet. He DID bring me a cup in bed on my birthday, but otherwise will not make it. Making a cup of tea for someone who is either: hot, cold, tired, thirsty, stressed, celebrating, going to bed, waking up, sad, content...etc is LOVE! I burst into tears when I visited home for the first time and Mum said "Oh! You're home! Let me put on the kettle!"

I go to Cost Plus for my PG Tips. I had to search far and wide for an electric kettle with an auto switch-off that I liked.

Thetreble, I am similar to you—the child of English immigrants, and have grown up very much between the two countries. I identify equally with both cultures. I do feel a bit like I am missing the things that make me, "me". I don't recognize "myself" in anyone or anything I see here...although now we have moved to and California and out of suburbia it is a million times better. I am starting to make friends, and am trying not to be swayed by their fascination with my "cute" habits that make them laugh (drinking tea, turning off the tv when people visit, eating at the table, saying "sorry", putting my knife and fork together when I'm finished eating). Making friends is also helping me see that these differences are not exactly Earth shattering or terrible, and I can still hold onto my own ways of doing things if I choose. I am not going to die if each friend I make is not 100% after my own heart. This is taking me a while to learn though...

At the same time, I don't want to be like my Mum, who was so very homesick for years and was very reluctant to adopt ANY Canadian attitudes or traditions. I think that she felt that learning to love Canada would make her less English. She has, over the last 10-15 years, really changed that attitude and is a lot happier. So I try really hard not to always be like, "oh, in Canada, we do it like this. And in Canada, the [chocolate, health care, etc] is soooo much better. That is why it is so awesome to vent about it all here!!

[Marilyn. 340]

Too funny about orange pekoe -- I'm an Earl Grey person and my husband wants what I consider plain, OP.

That said, Sweet Tea....Mmmm, Mmmm. And I'm not even Southern! (Can't get it up here. Lipton was making a Sweet Tea but it didn't fly in the NE. So gotta make my own if I want it and I'm too lazy.)

not a big fan of Earl Grey but I will drink it if there is nothing else.. and I love the flavour of Orange Pekoe, I don't think it is plain at all

[trailmix 77]

Too funny about orange pekoe -- I'm an Earl Grey person and my husband wants what I consider plain, OP.

That said, Sweet Tea....Mmmm, Mmmm. And I'm not even Southern! (Can't get it up here. Lipton was making a Sweet Tea but it didn't fly in the NE. So gotta make my own if I want it and I'm too lazy.)

not a big fan of Earl Grey but I will drink it if there is nothing else.. and I love the flavour of Orange Pekoe, I don't think it is plain at all

Husband is Earl Grey...i'm Irish Breakfast

[Marilyn. 340]

Too funny about orange pekoe -- I'm an Earl Grey person and my husband wants what I consider plain, OP.

That said, Sweet Tea....Mmmm, Mmmm. And I'm not even Southern! (Can't get it up here. Lipton was making a Sweet Tea but it didn't fly in the NE. So gotta make my own if I want it and I'm too lazy.)

not a big fan of Earl Grey but I will drink it if there is nothing else.. and I love the flavour of Orange Pekoe, I don't think it is plain at all

Husband is Earl Grey...i'm Irish Breakfast

now Irish Breakfast is one I am really not keen on

[~Nini~ 2]

I prefer black teas with a hint of flavour (like vanilla, peach, blackberry) but for some reason I've never liked earl grey. I think it's because of the bergamot that a lot of tea companies like to infuse it with

[Marilyn. 340]

I prefer black teas with a hint of flavour (like vanilla, peach, blackberry) but for some reason I've never liked earl grey. I think it's because of the bergamot that a lot of tea companies like to infuse it with

I never tried ones like that before...

my mom always had herbal teas when I lived at home, they were ok but I wasn't really crazy about them...

[MonkeyJuice 3]

Hello. I was reading this thread (whilst taking a break from election TV) & first of all i'm fascinated by all the Canadians who are so "English" in so many ways. I apologise for my ignorance because I didn't realise that you appreciate tea & putting the kettle on! I'm English & in Michigan on a 3 month visa waiver. It's great that I get time to spend with my fiancee before 'the big move' when all the visa stuff is finalised.

BUT after 9 weeks here I'm already missing things like the rolling green hills of home & sheep, a kettle, Yorkshire tea, Coronation Street & Eastenders (TV soaps), Oxo cubes, double cream, good old english slang & just the english accent! . I'm coping with using Facebook to chat to friends & family so that's ok. People here just can't understand my accent! I find my self speaking slowly.

AND on the subject of eating...yes I use a knife & fork not just a fork AND i use a fork with the curved side up & don't scoop my food up with my fork!

Don't get me wrong... people are so welcoming and friendly and my fiances friends are lovely. I'm sure I'll fit in just fine. I think whoever said it's all down to attitude is absolutely correct. You have to accept that the US is your home now. Try to adapt & make it work as best as you can.

Just think, 10 or 20 years ago there was no internet & not many phone calls or texting. We are much luckier than those before us!

[SapphireDreams 71]

^^ Hey Monkey - there are so many english foods in Canada - we have OXO cubes! In the future, might be worth taking a drive over the border to pick some Canadian/English foods up!

[MonkeyJuice 3]

^^ Hey Monkey - there are so many english foods in Canada - we have OXO cubes! In the future, might be worth taking a drive over the border to pick some Canadian/English foods up!

ooooh lovely, that's a good idea. We are only a couple of hours from the border!

[MrsCat 6]

^^ Hey Monkey - there are so many english foods in Canada - we have OXO cubes! In the future, might be worth taking a drive over the border to pick some Canadian/English foods up!

ooooh lovely, that's a good idea. We are only a couple of hours from the border!

MonkeyJuice, if you're close to the Canadian border in Michigan, you can get CBC (Canadian TV) and they play Coronation Street.

http://www.cbc.ca/coronation/

PS: Love the name.

Edited November 5, 2008 by MrsCat