Homesick

[Gypsyangel 11]

I've been doing pretty good with the homesick thing, but every once in awhile a weird thing will pop up. Like last Sunday around 10:30 p.m. I was driving home , and I noticed that the Shell station on the corner was closed. I felt my lower lip tremble just a little and found myself thinking, "the Shell station down the street in Toronto was open 24/7 and it was always busy. I miss my old Shell station."

Intellectually it's silly, but the feelings were real! Anyone else find themselves doing this? I find I can't say this sort of thing out loud because it sounds a little koo koo.

[MrsCat 6]

Awe Gypsy -

That is sad. You just made my lower lip quiver.

I haven't hit the sad stage of homesickness yet. I'm still in the angry - everything sucks here stage. Even though most everything doesn't suck. That part is irrational.

I did have plenty of mental breakdowns over nothing the week before I left. Hubby thought I was nutso and in need of psychiatric intervention.

Edited November 1, 2008 by MrsCat

[Ontarkie 14,226]

I think I'm stuck in both stages, but I do know how you feel its the weird little things that get me too. Some days I feel like its never going to be right.

I also try to hide it a bit cause of the kids and the hubby, he just wants me to be happy and I think gets a bit worried if I say some stuff.

Edited November 1, 2008 by Ontarkie

[BH45 0]

I don't think there is a Sunday go by that I don't tear up at church thinking of my orginal home church and the members there. When certain songs are sung, I think of different people.

Of course, I think of my baby girl (who's 14) daily and there are days when thinking of her brings tears to my eyes.

Doesn't make it any less real or mean that I'm not happy here cause I am. It's all part of the process I suppose. You are definitely not alone Gypsy.

[vanee 13]

I was having one of those moments today. I saw a photo of a friend I've known since high school at Buntzen Lake, near Vancouver. It reminded me of the times I'd been there and to other beautiful places in and around Vancouver with friends. I don't have long-time friends here, and while the trees are nice, it's nothing like the Vancouver area.

I had another of those moments a week or 2 ago when my hubby and I were watching a show about whales. We took so much for granted living on the West Coast. Whales were part of our identity as West Coasters, even if we saw them in the wild only once or twice. But the ocean is a long way from here.

[thetreble 19]

It definetly is a part of the process. I remember crying pretty much daily about something or other. I think I packed my bags about 50 times much to my husband's disapproval and frustration. Every individual is different, but I can tell you that after two years it has gotten a lot easier. It will always be a battle of there Vs. here for me but it is manageable now that I actually have a life here.

Gypsy..sending jersey love your way. If you ever need to talk, pm me. I understand how hard it is to adjust in this state.

[CHD 0]

For me it was trees. When I was living in ND with my hubby I would cry almost daily because I missed the friggin trees. My husband thought I was completely insane, because "it can't be THAT different"...so I grabbed the camera and took a picture of the scene outside our door. Then I put it beside a picture taken outside the door of my Ontario home 3 weeks prior. He got it. LOL

[Cassie 8]

3 weeks after I got to the US and got married, it was American Thanksgiving. The in-laws had a smoked turkey and cornbread. I could hardly eat because I missed "real" turkey and homemade dressing! I laugh about it now, but at that point it felt like the end of the world.

[MrsCat 6]

Yup that photo really hit it home!

For me it was trees. When I was living in ND with my hubby I would cry almost daily because I missed the friggin trees. My husband thought I was completely insane, because "it can't be THAT different"...so I grabbed the camera and took a picture of the scene outside our door. Then I put it beside a picture taken outside the door of my Ontario home 3 weeks prior. He got it. LOL

[MissStacey 1]

I am at the point I get homesick both ways. When I'm here I miss Alberta. When I'm there I miss New Orleans.

[~Nini~ 2]

Definitely feel your pain, Gypsy. The last year has been a teeter-totter of homesickness and angry feelings, varying from being angry at myself that I'm not adjusting well here and angry that life isn't the same as it was back home. I'm taking a card from Amanda and saying that it does get easier (or at least, looks easier!) once you get back into a similar routine as you had back home. But I definitely have moments, still do, when I think about the littlest things back home and I start feeling weepy - they're just fewer now than they were before.

[Southern_Canadian 0]

I have my moments of missing Canada and my family and friends there. Every year on Halloween, my dad would bring a bag full of yummy treats, witch finger cookies and a card. He'd bring it by before work so that way when I was on my way out the door, I'd have a little something special waiting for me. He'd do it for Halloween and Easter. I'd always look forward to those little surprises. When I woke up yesterday morning, I thought of that and it made me really sad. I know.. it's just candy but I really miss the little things like that or the "have a good day" notes that he would leave on the door for me.

That and they are opening a RBC bank down the street from me. Really made me think of home!!

I'm sure that it will get better... you are not alone!

[SpiritAlight 1]

Every One's story here is so heart-felt and sweet.

Vulnerable.

Real.

I totally appreciate this sense of community.

Question:

Does it not feel like this is the worst time to be in the U.S. ever?

Especially for those of us that got here within the last year.

What used to be "the land of opportunity" and "everything is cheaper" has turned out to be completely the opposite.

I have figured out that is would be cheaper and healthier to live in Canada (some places more than others obviously); I'm talking about when you add it all up. Every thing over a "lifetime".

I feel like I just pulled the curtain open at the Wizard of Oz.

This country has come unravelled.

No one human being can "fix" this.

This is going to take the entire nation.

Every one!

Dramatic post huh?

Well, and then there is the side of me that completely understands:

"Wherever you go, there you are."....i.e. one can find what one needs anywhere; happiness is within, and all that shtuff.

We create of reality.

We write our script.

My mantras.

Hee, hee.

I have missed the really really big things:

the quiet

the people

the ocean

the mountains

the climate

the lifestyle

the green

I said I would give it a year...and this year was extraordinarily challenging; things outside of us that took priority.

And so...when the year ends, we will make a new agreement.

It could be anything...even to stay here a little bit longer.

Hahaha!!!

Edited November 2, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[Marilyn. 340]

I just miss my family...

[MrsCat 6]

Ok so this thread made me reflect on my life here and feel really really sad and lonely for the first time since I left over a month ago. My life has never been about one person. I've always had lots of family, friends and coworkers around. I'm down to one person and he's been so disengaged the past few weeks. And maybe he's just responding to my lack of energy and vitality.

He works rotating shifts between days and nights, so we're rarely on the same sleep schedule. And when we are he's catching up on sleep from the past 7 days. His truck is broken down and we're waiting for a part to arrive, so he's using my car in the mean time. Meaning no wheels to go anywhere most days until he gets home. We live in a subdivision with mostly Japanese retirees who live here 6 months of the year so there really aren't any neighbors to get to know either.

My days are filled with meaningless baby talk to my cat ThomasJ.

I'm lonely. I miss home. I want this to work like I had planned in my mind.

Jesus H Christ - what the hell Cat?! Time to get off the sympathy wagon and onto the action wagon and make this what I want it to be.