Yardies at home and farrin (part 9)

[*JG* 2]

Mi rass...Kimmy musah post bout 20 times...dwl

She must really want the answer to those questions, lol!

JAEyes - There are trolls on here, plain and simple - even the regular posters get hit by them - They are cowards and don't have the courage to come out and say things face to face, so they create ids and send nasty emails - Pay them no mind. The women in this thread aren't trying to judge you - We are trying to help you too see what is out there - I don't know you, I don't know your man (well, I might - that's a true test - post his picture - if he's a scammer ya soon find out!). We can't say what is right or wrong - all we can do is give you our opinion, which, if you didn't want it - Why post and why share your story? The Yardie thread is like one big conscience - everyone else says the things you are afraid to think - Ultimately, we step back and support the person, regardless of their decision.

The reaction you got is MILD compared to posts I have seen on some sites - I have seen women get bashed to pieces for admitting they are with a JA man, even one who has been for years.

To be totally honest - Your defensive post REEKS of issues that would raise flags to me - If you want to plan a wedding in JA - you can easily do it from here - no need to send a likkle money down.

Amen on the other sites too. MILD is an understatement. I could send you to posts where I have had the ####### beat out of me. Time is on my side. That's what I end up saying.

[Yaads 0]

Most times we all just sit back and watch it like its a train wreck and say nothing. its none of our business really and I for one have not seen ONE woman on here change her mind about her SO from the things that a Yardie VJ'er said. So all I can say is think with your head and NOT your heart. That should get you some of your answers.

Me either. People for the most part aren't looking for relationship advice - their minds are made up and any discussion brought up will never apply to them in their minds.

[*JG* 2]

Nope - still a rental, Marlita - Just a house rental instead of an apartment.

Kimmy, I am not trying to be cruel, lol - But I have seen so much stuff - I have spent ALOT of time over the years in Negril as a single woman - My friends that I travel with there are 20 years older than me, also single - they look good for their age, but not that good - The lines that we have heard, the things that I have seen,...... I could write a trashy novel.

u are killin me toda i tell yah

She told me some of her stories recently. I was horrified at some....cracking up at others. Sus is a trip! Love her.

oonuh lef mi and mi post...though VJ is acting up

Dillon..I'm very very happy that u did what u felt best in ur heart...things just don't work sometimes and u just have to move on...much respect to u for airing that...

For real...much respect.

Thank you.

Dillion is awesome....real.....and funny.

[mrsladyd 0]

JG- what is that smiley doing under your timeline?

[Marlita 0]

Ok..dis here one is fi JAeyes..

1st of all chica how old are you? if you don't mind me asking. What in the world would posses u to want to marry someone u know on vacation in 2 wks? does it strike u odd that u AND ur sister both found "love" in the same place? did u go looking for someone or did they find you? He is using you for a green card my girl..yes mi believe inna love at 1st sight but lets be real with ourselves...have u even been to JA before? yuh undastan wah mi a write seh? if not u have a serious problem. u need to proove ur relationship to the embassy..do u know if they have criminal histories...girl don't be fooled by the blue waters and di glass bottom boat..HE IS USING YOU !!

A dat mi seh too - nuff ppl come a Jamaica and are amazed by di blue wata, white sand, "exotic accents" an meet a man/woman and BAM! dem inna love but naah unnastan wat di JA man/woman chat inna dem ears

Yes mi believe inna love at first site but no one has to act on those feelings immediately. Tek time fi know your partner - no rush wid "true" love. If you fraid di man/woman aggo lef, then check your true feelings about the "relationship.

This board is a perfect example - out of the 300+ yardie/farrin relationships, less than 20% of the couples are still together. Take American/American weddings - the divorce rate after the first year is 50%, now add an overseas spouse to the equation, the numbers for divorce are even higher. Not standing in judgement of anyone's relationship but keep it real - if you wouldn't marry an American man/woman after two weeks why the hell you ready to marry a Jamaican after two weeks holiday? Pappyshow...

Mi naah come pon VJ fi make friend (friend mi naah beg) but mi know seh mi aggo be the #1 henemy soon from my posts about this two week love affair

A so ie go...

Ok Jonsie, this response had me DWL!! "pappyshow"...mi favorite wud dat!

[sus 70]

JG- what is that smiley doing under your timeline?

She's saving it for when her in-laws call - it's the broke smilie :rofl:

[mrsladyd 0]

JG- what is that smiley doing under your timeline?

She's saving it for when her in-laws call - it's the broke smilie :rofl:

OMG- is it pulling out it's empty pockeets??? Too funny!

[*JG* 2]

There are couples on this board who may have seen each other over a span of three trips (each trip lasting about 3-5 days, so for argument's sake lets say they spent a total of 15 days together before paperwork was filed) and say JAEyes files, but she spent an entire two weeks (14 days) with the man - seriously, what's the difference? The fact that one couple saw each other three separate times and someone else saw her loved one once?

Yes she should tread lightly but if she feels this is it, then taking one or two more trips down isn't gonna make much of a difference if her mind is already made.

For the years I've been on VJ, I've seen posts like these. This isn't the first (and by far it won't be the last) time a person from ANY country says something like this.

JAEyes whatever you decide, just be careful.

Your right Jonesie. Many folks on here have not had lots of face to face time with their SO before marriage. I being one of them. Even though it was 10 months before we married, we actually only had about 2.5 weeks of face to face time. Lots of phone talking and whatnot, but to me thats not the most important part of the relationship. I for one am confident in my relationship but I also think what I did was a bit foolish at times. (shocking right?) Well I put my faith truly in the Lord and He is the only one that got me thru. If I had not, my relationship would have been in a state of turmoil and destruction. This situation is not the most ideal and I would not recommend it to ANYONE, even if mine is working. I do think that you must follow your head and NOT your heart in this type of situation. Your heart does foolish foolish things and really...cant be trusted. Place your faith in God and really submerge yourself into the persons life and just sit and watch if they submerge themselves in yours. While on vacation...EVERYTHING is great a relaxing and perfect and just so wonderful and amazing....it VACATION! Not reality. The reality of being in a serious realtionship with someone u love who is miles away at months on end is NOT amazing. But you have to treat it like a normal realtionship otherwise you'd be quick to get caught up. I've seen people on here get caught up, some snap out of it some dont and then its too late. Most times we all just sit back and watch it like its a train wreck and say nothing. its none of our business really and I for one have not seen ONE woman on here change her mind about her SO from the things that a Yardie VJ'er said. So all I can say is think with your head and NOT your heart. That should get you some of your answers.

Truth, Marlita.

Not directed at Marlita now: The thing is, it's information from people with similar experiences. You should take it all with a grain of salt. Most times, it's meant to make you think outside your little box. It's a warning....it's advice....it's stories of things working and not working. It should at the very least and maybe the very most....just make you step back and think. Nothing more, nothing less.

Even with similar experiences, no one is exactly the same on here. We all get to think and make our choices all on our own and all for ourselves. In the end, though, it's good to hear what other people think and what they have gone through. We can all learn something here.

[mrsladyd 0]

There are couples on this board who may have seen each other over a span of three trips (each trip lasting about 3-5 days, so for argument's sake lets say they spent a total of 15 days together before paperwork was filed) and say JAEyes files, but she spent an entire two weeks (14 days) with the man - seriously, what's the difference? The fact that one couple saw each other three separate times and someone else saw her loved one once?

Yes she should tread lightly but if she feels this is it, then taking one or two more trips down isn't gonna make much of a difference if her mind is already made.

For the years I've been on VJ, I've seen posts like these. This isn't the first (and by far it won't be the last) time a person from ANY country says something like this.

JAEyes whatever you decide, just be careful.

Your right Jonesie. Many folks on here have not had lots of face to face time with their SO before marriage. I being one of them. Even though it was 10 months before we married, we actually only had about 2.5 weeks of face to face time. Lots of phone talking and whatnot, but to me thats not the most important part of the relationship. I for one am confident in my relationship but I also think what I did was a bit foolish at times. (shocking right?) Well I put my faith truly in the Lord and He is the only one that got me thru. If I had not, my relationship would have been in a state of turmoil and destruction. This situation is not the most ideal and I would not recommend it to ANYONE, even if mine is working. I do think that you must follow your head and NOT your heart in this type of situation. Your heart does foolish foolish things and really...cant be trusted. Place your faith in God and really submerge yourself into the persons life and just sit and watch if they submerge themselves in yours. While on vacation...EVERYTHING is great a relaxing and perfect and just so wonderful and amazing....it VACATION! Not reality. The reality of being in a serious realtionship with someone u love who is miles away at months on end is NOT amazing. But you have to treat it like a normal realtionship otherwise you'd be quick to get caught up. I've seen people on here get caught up, some snap out of it some dont and then its too late. Most times we all just sit back and watch it like its a train wreck and say nothing. its none of our business really and I for one have not seen ONE woman on here change her mind about her SO from the things that a Yardie VJ'er said. So all I can say is think with your head and NOT your heart. That should get you some of your answers.

Truth, Marlita.

Not directed at Marlita now: The thing is, it's information from people with similar experiences. You should take it all with a grain of salt. Most times, it's meant to make you think outside your little box. It's a warning....it's advice....it's stories of things working and not working. It should at the very least and maybe the very most....just make you step back and think. Nothing more, nothing less.

Even with similar experiences, no one is exactly the same on here. We all get to think and make our choices all on our own and all for ourselves. In the end, though, it's good to hear what other people think and what they have gone through. We can all learn something here.

OK, I see now. I get automatically defensive at times, and think there seems like a judgement passed by some. Things come across harsh, and I am like WTH! Thanks for pointing it out in that way.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

I agree JG, we are not here to TELL anyone anything but our stories that we have experienced so that they can see the grass gets green or it can get brown..

OK, I see now. I get automatically defensive at times, and think there seems like a judgement passed by some. Things come across harsh, and I am like WTH! Thanks for pointing it out in that way.

That's what I thought

[SweetSugahDumplin 0]

Hey yardies happy monday.... need a favor...anyone got idea for good callin card i need ta call da UK. I normally use IDTcalls but that site is down! for months now dunno why. Then, Ringyard costs way more to call UK.

Here is Miss SaNaa sorry so late for the post.....

Just beautiful - another gorgeous baby girl

JALOVE- she is gorgeous! So thankful to hear that you are on the mend..........

thanks everyone for the lovely compliments prayers n support i soooooo appreciate it i feel much betta today pressure is down n fever i had last nite broke

[SupportOAFJF 0]

JALOVE..Thank God !! did u take her to the Dr. today to get shots?

[SupportOAFJF 0]

JALOVE..Thank God !! did u take her to the Dr. today to get shots?

[sus 70]

JALove - So happy to hear you are feeling better!

MrsLadyD - You have to read through things with a grain of salt on here, and get to know people's posting styles - For the most part, there is a great group here - some say things in a harsh format, but they don't mean any harm by it - But one thing we definitely have here is truth - and support for the ups and downs of this process.

I wish I had had the honesty and friendship that I found here this time when I went through this before - I might not have gone through what I did - Although, I am hard headed - I probably would have!

[Yaads 0]

I agree JG, we are not here to TELL anyone anything but our stories that we have experienced so that they can see the grass gets green or it can get brown..

Exactly. Share our experiences of the ups and downs, good and bad, trials, tribulations, struggles, success, failure and accomplishments. If sharing what I have experienced helps just one person have an easier time then it is worth it. So many times though people internalize what is said on this board and take it personally as a judgement on their relationship and their lives and instead of filtering through the info and finding what could/does apply to them and using it for their benefit they put up their guard, get defensive and pissed off.

Edited November 11, 2008 by Yaads