Having Children

[Jasman0717 9]

Having a child is a game changer. Although 59 is not old, do you really want to spend your 70's with a teenager who knows more about life than you do based on his/her limited life experience? If you think having a child will bring you and your wife closer and cement your relationship you could be sadly mistaken. You will likely be 2nd fiddle, with the needs of the child always having priority. Your child would not have the benefit of having your presence for most of his/her lifetime. Something to consider.

She is a very family oriented Filipina and does want to have chidren some day, we just need to decide when that may be. Children certainly won't 'cement' a relationship but I am like my Father and love children. My two daughters are just so wonderful and are wonderful parents and spouses. I must have done something right

[Robert E Lee 0]

Don't ya waste no time, Bud. Don't ya wait any longer, the spirit might be willing but then the flesh might be weak .... :jest:

[Mary Lou 681]

My dad was 50 when i was born. He worked hard all his life for our family and was extremely active until he died at the age of 88. I never had a problem with having an "older" dad. But now, i am 43 and my dad isnt around to be in my life, so i kinda feel ripped off. But thats just me. You and Claudeth just have to weigh the pros and cons of having a baby. Good Luck in whatever you decide!!

[Dean iWait 0]

Claudeth and I have had some discussions about having a baby. I am a bit worried about it because I am 59. My Father died when he was 53 and I was only 9 and I was cheated from being able to grow up with him. I don't want that to happen but then again, I would love to share the blessing of a child with my wonderful wife, best friend and life's companion.

What do you think?

My friend is also married to a guy around your age. They have a three-year old daughter. So I think you are probably okay.

Ok as compared to what? Heath Ledger died at the age of 28....

There are risks and responsibilities that both parties to this decision must be aware of... As long as the affected parties understand and accept these risks .... then it is, what it is....

I'm not sure Heath Ledger is a good example since he took a bunch of pills before he died.... But I understand your point.

[Jasman0717 9]

My dad was 50 when i was born. He worked hard all his life for our family and was extremely active until he died at the age of 88. I never had a problem with having an "older" dad. But now, i am 43 and my dad isnt around to be in my life, so i kinda feel ripped off. But thats just me. You and Claudeth just have to weigh the pros and cons of having a baby. Good Luck in whatever you decide!!

Thanks Gary. We have discussed this in depth and are developing a plan to ensure she and any kids we might have will have a comfortable future. It looks like my baby is going to be a business owner in Bayabus There is a lot on her parent's property owned by an Aunt so we might just buy it and build a kind of restaurant/grocery store on it. Her parents opened a little store there and are totally overwhelmed with the business so we will expand and get the whole family involved.

Anyway, I thank you for your thoughts and wishes Gary.

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

does this mean she's tired of shopping?

[raymaga 25]

Both my husband and I are in our 50's, and personally, we are both really really looking forward to our retirement. I couldn't even imagine starting over AGAIN with child rearing and not having the time for ourselves.

I feel for Claudeth, though, because she has no children of her own.

Could grandkids possibly help fill that void for her?

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[njaxfl 0]

Claudeth and I have had some discussions about having a baby. I am a bit worried about it because I am 59. My Father died when he was 53 and I was only 9 and I was cheated from being able to grow up with him. I don't want that to happen but then again, I would love to share the blessing of a child with my wonderful wife, best friend and life's companion.

What do you think?

My husband is 55 and i'm 29-he has a 7yr old son and i have 9 and 12.We agreed that no more baby,not for any health concern but we want to give the 3 children our love and attention as they grow up + i know we're all aware how expensive America is.Just being smart.But if you guys doesn't have a child,either the two of you the maybe you consider that and make a decision.Goodluck

[Chica Yeyé 41]

She is a very family oriented Filipina and does want to have chidren some day, we just need to decide when that may be. Children certainly won't 'cement' a relationship but I am like my Father and love children. My two daughters are just so wonderful and are wonderful parents and spouses. I must have done something right

This post of yours really touched my .

I am sure you guys will make the best decision, together.

[Michael and Milahjean 0]

I will be 53 in two weeks. My asawa is 23. We've just celebrated our 30th month of wedded bliss, and I mean that very sincerely. Our daughter was born this past July 1. I have two children from a previous marriage also - daughter will be 32 in two weeks and son now 26. I have a 3 year old granddaughter and a new grandson on the way, due to arrive next month. My kids also are an absolute joy. They tell me if it wasn't for my encouragement and patience, they'd likely not be as well-adjusted and as confident as they seem to be.

Those are the facts. Many will have opinions regarding my choices in life, but it's my life. I've enjoyed the first half of my life greatly, which has included phases of rock-n-roll musician, vintage Trans Am owner and enthusiast for over 25 years, railroad photographer and magazine writer.

The second half of my life has just begun. I have no idea what to expect at this point. I'm healthy and plan to be around for a good long time. Many have told me and my asawa that I look to be in my late-30s. Strangers and those less acquainted with me are shocked when they learn I have a daughter of 32 years. I just smile.

It's your decision to make, and it's a big decision. Yes, I've thought very hard about the effect on my little girl as she ages, especially into adolesence when kids can be so mean to each other, me being old enough to be her grandpa. I'm thinking it'll be fun for me and for her. I had just as much fun with the parents of my daughter's school friends who were 10 years older than me. Most thought her mother was her babysitter...hehehe.

I'm much more mellow now than I was the first time around. I'm sufficiently matured in my career and my life, and I'm financially comfortable. I've been a motor and air-mover engineer for over 30 years, and I've always enjoyed my work. I'm enjoying every second now, even when it means that I'm awake every night at least once due to the hungry howls from my anak. All parents know the fear that grips you when you DON'T hear your teeny new baby screaming at night. Sounds funny that one can actually sleep better when you do hear noises.

Yes, my kids sometimes thinks I'm nuts. My granddaughter has an aunt who is two years younger than she is. My kids have a little bitty sister. My mom is a grandma again. I'm so sad that my dad isn't here, but he is really. He was taken by cancer in 2003. And I have homework, school plays, softball and soccer games, slumber parties and driving lessons, not to mention another beautiful wedding to look forward to. Most of all I have the pleasure of watching the blending of two cultures before my very eyes. I am the adventurer in my family. My kids have learned from me, both live many states away.

But this is what really tugs at my heartstrings now...when I come home from a long day at the office and I walk through the door, the second I kneel down in front of my daughter swinging in her swing and say hi, when she cracks the biggest smile for me and gets so excited, and I lift her up and hold her clsoe, that's what makes it all worthwhile. I am happy.

Edited October 30, 2008 by Michael and Milahjean

[jhamel 0]

Your purpose is not to fear or to frighten.

Your purpose is not to control or to be controlled.

Your purpose is to live,to love and experience life in a way that is uniquely yours.

Your purpose is to be open to the newness and reality of every moment, giving joy a living expression.

Your purpose is to give the miracle of life a distinct voice. It is to know and to treasure moments of pure beauty for which there are no words.

The challenges maybe profound, and yet they cannot challenge or diminish your purpose. On the contrary, those challenges help you to understand and express your purpose more clearly.

The world can at times distract you into caring about mere shadows of life that have no real meaning.Yet always, beneath the surface, your living purpose is there.

Remember that purpose, and let its value flow freely from you with each thought, feeling and action. Live from your purpose and be fully alive.

[JVKn'CVO 11]

I will be 53 in two weeks. My asawa is 23. We've just celebrated our 30th month of wedded bliss, and I mean that very sincerely. Our daughter was born this past July 1. I have two children from a previous marriage also - daughter will be 32 in two weeks and son now 26. I have a 3 year old granddaughter and a new grandson on the way, due to arrive next month. My kids also are an absolute joy. They tell me if it wasn't for my encouragement and patience, they'd likely not be as well-adjusted and as confident as they seem to be.

Those are the facts. Many will have opinions regarding my choices in life, but it's my life. I've enjoyed the first half of my life greatly, which has included phases of rock-n-roll musician, vintage Trans Am owner and enthusiast for over 25 years, railroad photographer and magazine writer.

The second half of my life has just begun. I have no idea what to expect at this point. I'm healthy and plan to be around for a good long time. Many have told me and my asawa that I look to be in my late-30s. Strangers and those less acquainted with me are shocked when they learn I have a daughter of 32 years. I just smile.

It's your decision to make, and it's a big decision. Yes, I've thought very hard about the effect on my little girl as she ages, especially into adolesence when kids can be so mean to each other, me being old enough to be her grandpa. I'm thinking it'll be fun for me and for her. I had just as much fun with the parents of my daughter's school friends who were 10 years older than me. Most thought her mother was her babysitter...hehehe.

I'm much more mellow now than I was the first time around. I'm sufficiently matured in my career and my life, and I'm financially comfortable. I've been a motor and air-mover engineer for over 30 years, and I've always enjoyed my work. I'm enjoying every second now, even when it means that I'm awake every night at least once due to the hungry howls from my anak. All parents know the fear that grips you when you DON'T hear your teeny new baby screaming at night. Sounds funny that one can actually sleep better when you do hear noises.

Yes, my kids sometimes thinks I'm nuts. My granddaughter has an aunt who is two years younger than she is. My kids have a little bitty sister. My mom is a grandma again. I'm so sad that my dad isn't here, but he is really. He was taken by cancer in 2003. And I have homework, school plays, softball and soccer games, slumber parties and driving lessons, not to mention another beautiful wedding to look forward to. Most of all I have the pleasure of watching the blending of two cultures before my very eyes. I am the adventurer in my family. My kids have learned from me, both live many states away.

But this is what really tugs at my heartstrings now...when I come home from a long day at the office and I walk through the door, the second I kneel down in front of my daughter swinging in her swing and say hi, when she cracks the biggest smile for me and gets so excited, and I lift her up and hold her clsoe, that's what makes it all worthwhile. I am happy.

What a beautiful post

Jasman, I agree that life is uncertain, you never know. Do what's best for your family

Saludos,

Caro

[archie07 0]

Claudeth and I have had some discussions about having a baby. I am a bit worried about it because I am 59. My Father died when he was 53 and I was only 9 and I was cheated from being able to grow up with him. I don't want that to happen but then again, I would love to share the blessing of a child with my wonderful wife, best friend and life's companion.

What do you think?

I think if your both comfortable with having a child, then do so. I'm a couple years older than you and have a 17 year old son, I'm counting the days till he turns 18. I would get a complete physical also. My health was excellent at 59, then I started getting headaches and blacked out. Now I take 4 blood pressure pills a day. Your situation is different, you wouldn't be raising the child alone as I did. The last time I took my son to the dentist, the receptionist asked me if I was his grandfather. You get used to that after awhile. Now I'm in my retirement years and for me the grandchildren are enough. I didn't want anymore children so I chose a woman in her later years of life who also didn't want children. If you can be happy with a child at 59 then I see no reason to deprive your wife of motherhood. Good luck to both of you.

[SupportOAFJF 0]

Jasman, I must say that is a very conscious thought and unselfishness. I always said I would not want to be much older when I have kids for the fact that I want to be able to enjoy every moment of them. But you have to do what is right in your mind, and then you will have someone to ALWAYS keep you young i say go for it

[Completely 3]

I will be 53 in two weeks. My asawa is 23. We've just celebrated our 30th month of wedded bliss, and I mean that very sincerely. Our daughter was born this past July 1. I have two children from a previous marriage also - daughter will be 32 in two weeks and son now 26. I have a 3 year old granddaughter and a new grandson on the way, due to arrive next month. My kids also are an absolute joy. They tell me if it wasn't for my encouragement and patience, they'd likely not be as well-adjusted and as confident as they seem to be.

Those are the facts. Many will have opinions regarding my choices in life, but it's my life. I've enjoyed the first half of my life greatly, which has included phases of rock-n-roll musician, vintage Trans Am owner and enthusiast for over 25 years, railroad photographer and magazine writer.

The second half of my life has just begun. I have no idea what to expect at this point. I'm healthy and plan to be around for a good long time. Many have told me and my asawa that I look to be in my late-30s. Strangers and those less acquainted with me are shocked when they learn I have a daughter of 32 years. I just smile.

It's your decision to make, and it's a big decision. Yes, I've thought very hard about the effect on my little girl as she ages, especially into adolesence when kids can be so mean to each other, me being old enough to be her grandpa. I'm thinking it'll be fun for me and for her. I had just as much fun with the parents of my daughter's school friends who were 10 years older than me. Most thought her mother was her babysitter...hehehe.

I'm much more mellow now than I was the first time around. I'm sufficiently matured in my career and my life, and I'm financially comfortable. I've been a motor and air-mover engineer for over 30 years, and I've always enjoyed my work. I'm enjoying every second now, even when it means that I'm awake every night at least once due to the hungry howls from my anak. All parents know the fear that grips you when you DON'T hear your teeny new baby screaming at night. Sounds funny that one can actually sleep better when you do hear noises.

Yes, my kids sometimes thinks I'm nuts. My granddaughter has an aunt who is two years younger than she is. My kids have a little bitty sister. My mom is a grandma again. I'm so sad that my dad isn't here, but he is really. He was taken by cancer in 2003. And I have homework, school plays, softball and soccer games, slumber parties and driving lessons, not to mention another beautiful wedding to look forward to. Most of all I have the pleasure of watching the blending of two cultures before my very eyes. I am the adventurer in my family. My kids have learned from me, both live many states away.

But this is what really tugs at my heartstrings now...when I come home from a long day at the office and I walk through the door, the second I kneel down in front of my daughter swinging in her swing and say hi, when she cracks the biggest smile for me and gets so excited, and I lift her up and hold her clsoe, that's what makes it all worthwhile. I am happy.

Great post, I agree with him.. Nobody can tell when will be our time.. Ask yourself if you are healthy.. I dont see any reason why not to have kids.. Claudeth is still young.. I understand her for wanting to have a children.. It is difficult to grow old alone, having one is the greatest achievement of all.

A mother of 1 and 1 more incoming

Look at the picture of my son below.. Whenever I came from work, he is already at the door waiting for me.. When I push the doorbell, I can hear him screaming and say MAMA!!!!.. When he see me, he will kiss me and hug me tight.. And will say a-chu (means i love you) .. He is only 2 years old so he is still struggling with his words.. but it is so cute and wonderful.. All my stress and being tired at work is totally gone and seems recharged when I see him..

Edited October 30, 2008 by Completely