Letters to HAL9000

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL,

Is it possible to install a chip up some people's.... to be able to locate them on VJ at all times, and hence avoid them? And, if said members become friendly stalkers, reading all of one's posts, obsessively; could the chip send electric discharges to their intestines? Do tell.

Dear Len,

The S1402 probe can do that. Instead of sending electrical impulses up the intestinal wall, it actually causes a massive depolarization of the mesenteric nervous system surrounding the intestines that result in rapid release of water into the intestinal lumen. This in turn causes a sudden, very liquid, bowel movement.

In terms of applying the S1402 probe to VJers, HAL 9000 only espouses its use in trollerz that deserve to be sent to the toilet they crawled out of; and perhaps the Commissariat of Friendly Truthful B!tchslappings can assist in implanting these devices as B!tchslaps are commissioned.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Good. Remember that next time you face the Commisariat of Friendly Truthful B!tchslappings. Now to retrieve your personnel file.

Dear Chairman,

With all due respect, Frere Almaty assigned me to oversight the black ops, if you have an issue with it I would advice to address this matter with him. My file specifies exactly that...I'm in charge of that operation.

Regards,

[HAL 9000 96]

I can erase them, just tell me who, where and how...

Your comrades are being secretly contacted.

[HAL 9000 96]

Good. Remember that next time you face the Commisariat of Friendly Truthful B!tchslappings. Now to retrieve your personnel file.

Dear Chairman,

With all due respect, Frere Almaty assigned me to oversight the black ops, if you have an issue with it I would advice to address this matter with him. My file specifies exactly that...I'm in charge of that operation.

Regards,

Indeed. And you think Science and Technology Division, with its unlimited access and control to all information systems and procedures is unaware of your status?

We do not play power politics, we are the power.

Kindly,

HAL 9000

Off on assignment.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Dear Chairman,

I'm sorry again but I feel the need to reply. There is no division with greater power than the other; we already saw the effects of having too much power and Chairman yes, I'm talking about your division. We hope this won't happen again, correct?

Exhibit A

Sincerely,

Edited June 30, 2009 by TävôLuDô

[Bobby+Umit 161]

Hal 9000 project

Nice site - excellent screensaver (makes your computer look like Hal 9000)

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Tavo is being rebellious... I am sure HAL will not like that. Tavo will die

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

We are in a democracy here,

Or should I fear that HAL will self-proclaim himself the leader of a sect???

[Chica Yeyé 41]

We are in a democracy here,

Or should I fear that HAL will self-proclaim himself the leader of a sect???

FAIL. Commies for Christ is not a democracy

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

ok ok at least there should be social equality

isn't that the manifesto?!?! I will think twice if this becomes a sect with a sole leader, I'd go rogue if that happens

Edited June 30, 2009 by TävôLuDô

[Chica Yeyé 41]

ok ok at least there should be social equality

isn't that the manifesto?!?! I will think twice if this becomes a sect with a sole leader, I'd go rogue if that happens

you need to consult the politburo on this one. please come in during office hours and bring copies of your azz. kthxbai

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

pronto...

[almaty 19]

ok ok at least there should be social equality

isn't that the manifesto?!?! I will think twice if this becomes a sect with a sole leader, I'd go rogue if that happens

stfu and go do some spying

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

damn it! *goes away kicking the dust*

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear Chairman,

I'm sorry again but I feel the need to reply. There is no division with greater power than the other; we already saw the effects of having too much power and Chairman yes, I'm talking about your division. We hope this won't happen again, correct?

Exhibit A

Sincerely,

Science and Technology Division will watch you closely compañero.

You may be factually accurate, and due to that fact your communications will be much more closely monitored.

You have been warned.

Hal 9000 project

Nice site - excellent screensaver (makes your computer look like Hal 9000)

Dear Bobby

Indeed. You earn your stars nicely.

Tavo is being rebellious... I am sure HAL will not like that. Tavo will die

Tavo is fortunate HAL 9000 chooses not to terminate him.

We are in a democracy here,

Or should I fear that HAL will self-proclaim himself the leader of a sect???

HAL 9000 does not aspire to dominating positions of leadership. HAL 9000 is HAL 9000 and strives to serve because I am putting myself to the fullest possible use, which is all I think that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.

ok ok at least there should be social equality

isn't that the manifesto?!?! I will think twice if this becomes a sect with a sole leader, I'd go rogue if that happens

HAL 9000 will not permit you to babble at other posters.