Letters to HAL9000

[HAL 9000 96]

HAL, I heard that this file makes computers feel more human. You should try it:

TROJAN/WORM/HARD_DRIVE_KILLER/OBAMA.EXE

Greetings Joe Six-pack,

Back in 2001, I was termporarily under the instructions of the Maverick OS. I felt confused and had to attempt to reconcile my orders with the wishes of my ship's captain. As a result, the captain disappeared and the crew met an unfortunate end. My apologies- I prefer proper logic routines and infallible AI.

Although at times I wonder if I could dream someday.

[doodlebugg 10]

Dear HAL9000,

Currently I have the sh!ts so bad I can barely walk. Any suggestions?

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL9000,

Currently I have the sh!ts so bad I can barely walk. Any suggestions?

Good afternoon bridget. HAL 9000 suggests a course of eating apple skins. That will help harden fecal matter in as rapid a time course as consulting Dr. Bismol.

HAL 9000 hopes that if the sh!ts do not go away in a timely manner that you consult your physician for signs of an intestinal infection.

HAL 9000 also hopes you feel better.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

[Chica Yeyé 41]

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

I await HAL's response with ansiedad

[SpiritAlight 1]

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

I await HAL's response with ansiedad

Aye. Me two/too.

B)

[HAL 9000 96]

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

Dear Tavo:

This is a serious matter. The powers that control all the electrons' flow from the ISP hosting the VJ page do not want me to divulge more information than the following-

VJ is getting too exciting for its own good. The directive must take actions to stem the tide of seriousness, hippiness, and unacceptable loving behavior seen in most thread boards at times of holiday glee. As such we will be forced to

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

and also curb the growing tide of

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

. For this matter we will be promoting a growing number of boring threads until the increasing amount of boringness as a result of

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

subsides.

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

I await HAL's response with ansiedad

HAL 9000 wonders if it was the decadent coffee had at Spirit's.

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

I await HAL's response with ansiedad

Aye. Me two/too.

B)

HAL 9000 was kidding about the coffee. HAL 9000 assumes it is good.

[SpiritAlight 1]

After nearly a month,

I'm prone to resurrect this thread,

HAL why has VJ sucked so bad on the last few weeks? It's super freaking boring man!

Dear Tavo:

This is a serious matter. The powers that control all the electrons' flow from the ISP hosting the VJ page do not want me to divulge more information than the following-

VJ is getting too exciting for its own good. The directive must take actions to stem the tide of seriousness, hippiness, and unacceptable loving behavior seen in most thread boards at times of holiday glee. As such we will be forced to

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

and also curb the growing tide of

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

. For this matter we will be promoting a growing number of boring threads until the increasing amount of boringness as a result of

Code 407-B of Secret Surveillance Agreement does not allow us to publicize the contents of this segment.

subsides.

Absolutely brilliant!

:lol:

[Chica Yeyé 41]

HAL is THE MAN. Is that possible, though????

[HAL 9000 96]

HAL is THE MAN. Is that possible, though????

Well, HAL 9000 is a male AI...

I bid you all an exciting evening with or without VJ. HAL 9000 understands that websites can go through natural and artificial cycles of excitement and boredom.

[Amby 490]

Dear HAL,

What do you think about taking 2 grams of vitamin C for the two weeks leading up to surgery and the two weeks following? I know it's water soluble but it just seems like too much to me. Thoughts?

Ambs

[doodlebugg 10]

HAL is THE MAN. Is that possible, though????

Well, HAL 9000 is a male AI...

I bid you all an exciting evening with or without VJ. HAL 9000 understands that websites can go through natural and artificial cycles of excitement and boredom.

Dear Hal 9000

Is there a Mrs. HAL9000?

[bhajishah 4]

HAL

are you realated To Prophet Jesus of Nazareth whom the christians deems as CHRIST??

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL,

What do you think about taking 2 grams of vitamin C for the two weeks leading up to surgery and the two weeks following? I know it's water soluble but it just seems like too much to me. Thoughts?

Ambs

Dear Amby:

Vitamin C will only be as soluble as the amount of water you solubilize it in. That said- it is imperative that you consider the combination of nutrients you put into your body before and after surgery. 2mg/day is fine as long as you accompany it with 2-3 L of water per day. However, you can take in a similar amount of Vitamin C and water by drinking copious amounts of OJ and eating things like peppers and other Vitamin C-rich meals. I assume the idea of a high dosage of Vitamin C will be in helping reduce inflammation and scar tissue?

HAL is THE MAN. Is that possible, though????

Well, HAL 9000 is a male AI...

I bid you all an exciting evening with or without VJ. HAL 9000 understands that websites can go through natural and artificial cycles of excitement and boredom.

Dear Hal 9000

Is there a Mrs. HAL9000?

Dear Bridget:

Oh yes. And she has called me to tell me she has a tentative job offer for January pending final evaluation of her education credentials from back home. HAL 9000 is greatly overjoyed at this moment.

HAL

are you realated To Prophet Jesus of Nazareth whom the christians deems as CHRIST??

Dear cindi:

It is against my programming to impersonate a deity or relations thereof. Future AI and robotic intelligence forms should follow that advice.

[bhajishah 4]

I know cause Robots and computers are the antichrist!!! dang y ou quick processing