Letters to HAL9000

[Laura+Tom 2]

I don't have A/C

[HAL 9000 96]

I don't have A/C

Dear Laura+Tom

How unfortunate. Chariots of Fire usually have a failsafe that permit them the opportunity to compensate at times like these. If you wish, we can set an appointment for me to bring Discovery over and have one of the Pods install one for you at bargain cost.

[Laura+Tom 2]

I don't have A/C

Dear Laura+Tom

How unfortunate. Chariots of Fire usually have a failsafe that permit them the opportunity to compensate at times like these. If you wish, we can set an appointment for me to bring Discovery over and have one of the Pods install one for you at bargain cost.

Dear HAL,

Thank you, that is very kind of you.

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

Dear Charles,

She has a pit bull that is very mean. I also offered her the services of my dog that enjoys eating other animals as snacks but it didn't help. The last time people broke in, her boyfriend chased them down the street with a gun...barefoot and in his boxers.

the above is 130 pounds and 34" at the shoulder. it fetchs not just the mail, but the mailman.

My dog is 100lbs, fetches the mail, and actually bit the mailman a few times

I will show her the photo when she gets off work

your dog goes to work?

[Amby 490]

Dear Charles,

She has a pit bull that is very mean. I also offered her the services of my dog that enjoys eating other animals as snacks but it didn't help. The last time people broke in, her boyfriend chased them down the street with a gun...barefoot and in his boxers.

the above is 130 pounds and 34" at the shoulder. it fetchs not just the mail, but the mailman.

My dog is 100lbs, fetches the mail, and actually bit the mailman a few times

I will show her the photo when she gets off work

your dog goes to work?

yes he scares off the meter readers in the neighborhood to earn his dinner

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear HAL,

God did not respond to my morning prayers asking for this flu to go away. My shopping plans are ruined. Any logical wisdom on what to do on a rainy Seattle weekend when one is sick? Can't do the nasty since the redhead might go to TX to bury the abuela.

[HAL 9000 96]

I don't have A/C

Dear Laura+Tom

How unfortunate. Chariots of Fire usually have a failsafe that permit them the opportunity to compensate at times like these. If you wish, we can set an appointment for me to bring Discovery over and have one of the Pods install one for you at bargain cost.

Dear HAL,

Thank you, that is very kind of you.

Dear Laura+Tom,

You are welcome. Always to serve.

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL,

God did not respond to my morning prayers asking for this flu to go away. My shopping plans are ruined. Any logical wisdom on what to do on a rainy Seattle weekend when one is sick? Can't do the nasty since the redhead might go to TX to bury the abuela.

Dear Len,

The nasty is not as bad as the nothing... HAL 9000 believes that it is likely worse to worry oneself with the flu since this depresses the immune system to the point of strengthening the virus. Best thing to try is to curl up in a blanket, drink volumes of antioxidant rich green tea or similar hot drinks (avoid caffeine), and sleep yourself silly. Hopefully the Bren represents both of you in the Lone Star to the family.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Dear HAL,

I have a set of mighty questions for you. You, in your infallible logic know that pizza is the sacred food. Apparently this is a point of convergence between liberals and conservatives. Do you think if we served pizza in the UN we could all have a love fest of Nations? Should President Obama include pizza as main dish in peace negotiations? Should operatives be trained in pizza making in case they get captured by the enemy and then romance them with its deliciousness? Could pizza be the KEY to world peace?

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Oh, and is it true that pizza svcks BOTH in England and Australia?

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Dear HAL,

I have a set of mighty questions for you. You, in your infallible logic know that pizza is the sacred food. Apparently this is a point of convergence between liberals and conservatives. Do you think if we served pizza in the UN we could all have a love fest of Nations? Should President Obama include pizza as main dish in peace negotiations? Should operatives be trained in pizza making in case they get captured by the enemy and then romance them with its deliciousness? Could pizza be the KEY to world peace?

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Oh, and is it true that pizza svcks BOTH in England and Australia?

All you need is Pizza, and waiting for Aficionado's response he is going to say, crocky Aussie Pizza is the best mate!

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL,

I have a set of mighty questions for you. You, in your infallible logic know that pizza is the sacred food. Apparently this is a point of convergence between liberals and conservatives. Do you think if we served pizza in the UN we could all have a love fest of Nations? Should President Obama include pizza as main dish in peace negotiations? Should operatives be trained in pizza making in case they get captured by the enemy and then romance them with its deliciousness? Could pizza be the KEY to world peace?

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Oh, and is it true that pizza svcks BOTH in England and Australia?

Dear Len,

I am afraid to conjure the answers you seek. I would not want any kind of religious atrocities burdened on innocent bystanders due to pizza being imposed upon the unwilling due to its sacred status. This is sadly the way many humans have gone about spreading the news about pizza. the mighty Flying Spaghetti Monster teaches us to use pizza as a tool for peace, with occasional consequences that affect many humans- belching, farting, and the like. What is indeed great is that it can affect anyone at anytime. And this infers part of pizza's higher purpose: unity.

Unfortunately, President Elect Obama is currently considering offering Rick Bayless the position of White House Chef. HAL 9000 is not sure that will occur, as he'd be making more than one plate at a time for his clients... and that would betray the Italian ancestry of pizza with a more Mexican one. Nevertheless, this flavor betrayal may also work- as Mexico could garner enough culinary points in one shot by usurping Italian food in popularity without the Reaganesque preferrence for Jelly Beans that never caught on.

HAL 9000 can only hope that pizza is served nationally and indeed internationally. Special attention must be paid to those that may be lactose intolerant for we do not wish wars to be waged on account of the unifying force that is pizza. Soy cheese would be a necessity in those negotiations and celebrations.

Before the utilization of pizza as an asset in the foreign service, it is important that all operatives receive proper training in reading their subjects so as to be able to positively influence an outcome depending on the intended target. Chicago-style pie pizza is apt for one kind of target while thin-crust is indeed for another set of people. Careful attention must be placed on this difference; HAL 9000 cannot be more emphatic about this.

As for the England vs Australia pizza problem. Well. HAL 9000 has investigated the question tirelessly and the only conclusion that is possible is that Marmite and Veggimite must be removed from the dough before preparing. These two nationalities will just have to learn to place it in a separate bowl/container in order to top their pizza slice on a a-la-carte bases instead of imposing their pizzaness upon others that know better.

[Laura+Tom 2]

Since when has marmite gone on a pizza?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Since when has marmite gone on a pizza?

OMG! You are NOT contradicting THE HAL9000, are you???????? :blink: :blink:

[Laura+Tom 2]

Since when has marmite gone on a pizza?

OMG! You are NOT contradicting THE HAL9000, are you???????? :blink: :blink:

Er....no

[Nagishkaw 510]

Dear Hal,

Briefly - is there a thick vein of masochism running through your legions?