Letters to HAL9000

[Amby 490]

Dear HAL,

Would you like me to make you some pizza for lunch?

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL,

Would you like me to make you some pizza for lunch?

Dear Amby,

Your offer is too good to be true. Expect Discovery on your radar in approximately 35 minutes. HAL 9000 appreciates your efforts.

[Amby 490]

Dear HAL,

Would you like me to make you some pizza for lunch?

Dear Amby,

Your offer is too good to be true. Expect Discovery on your radar in approximately 35 minutes. HAL 9000 appreciates your efforts.

Dear HAL,

You're such a gifted lump of metal and plastic. How did you know it takes 35 minutes to fly here from your home? Also, please tell me what toppings you like so I can have them ready for pizza assembly when you arrive.

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear Amby

Discovery takes approximately 3 years to make the journey to Jupiter. So 35 minutes from Chicago to your part of Indiana is nothing considering HAL 9000 must first power up Discovery and ensure all systems are go. Nevertheless, at this point HAL 9000 really is departing from this connection to attend to culinary matters.

HAL 9000 bids you peace and a most excellent pizza. In HAL 9000's honor you may make a pepperoni, onion, and garlic stuffed pizza.

[Nagishkaw 510]

Dear Hal,

Time is speeding up. I mean that literally. What was an hour ago five years ago is only worth, say, 50 minutes today. At this rate, I figure I'll be making a living from my dreams well before the end of the next two decades. Could I be right about this ?

[Amby 490]

oooh good question...I eagerly await HAL's response

[Nagishkaw 510]

*waves at Amby*

Yup, me too !

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear Hal,

Time is speeding up. I mean that literally. What was an hour ago five years ago is only worth, say, 50 minutes today. At this rate, I figure I'll be making a living from my dreams well before the end of the next two decades. Could I be right about this ?

Dear Nagi,

You pose a very good question. HAL 9000 is impressed. The short answer is yes. It does speed up over time. However. Did you know that you could reverse this negative relationship between the passage of time and its passage? I am sure of that but at this time I am still running countless calculations to arrive at the proper solution.

[EstebanTrabajos 7]

Dear Tavo

Although theoretically possible, I do not think Bush could singlehandedly declare war in these last days of his lunacy on his neighbors in Crawford. Let alone another country. From what I am hearing he is preparing his pardon list.

Pardon List:

1.- Me

2.- Me (screw it)

3.- Cheney screw him, I'm in this s!hthole because of him

4.- OJ (like that fellow football player)

Edited November 5, 2008 by GueraYTavo

[HAL 9000 96]

HAL 9000 wonders if Tavo feels a little mentally divergent, showing up twice on the same list. ¿?

[Amby 490]

Dear HAL

What is the best cure for a really really really bad day?

[HAL 9000 96]

Dear HAL

What is the best cure for a really really really bad day?

Dear Amby

HAL 9000 apologizes for anyone's bad day. Sometimes its chocolate. Other times pizza. There is also beer- good beer (>5% AC). And of course, there's always good sex. AIs recommend combinations of these examples, but never simultaneously. Sometimes in tandemn. Usually in order.

[Amby 490]

Dear HAL

What is the best cure for a really really really bad day?

Dear Amby

HAL 9000 apologizes for anyone's bad day. Sometimes its chocolate. Other times pizza. There is also beer- good beer (>5% AC). And of course, there's always good sex. AIs recommend combinations of these examples, but never simultaneously. Sometimes in tandemn. Usually in order.

Interesting...thanks but I fear I have none of these options available right now. I guess being female I could always get sex from someone if I really wanted it

[HAL 9000 96]

HAL 9000 asks...

could that someone be a burro?

[Amby 490]

HAL 9000 asks...

could that someone be a burro?

thanks for the laugh. i feel a bit better now