Does Age really matter????

[JeanneVictoria 55]

[Muh and me 18]

[brnidokiegurl 0]

group hug for all old ladies, get your wheel chairs and canes moving into the circle girlies, we dont have all night to gather

wait a sec, gotta take my Geritol first before I forget....

Nagi and i used to share and pass the Geritol bottle, wish she was here

[morocco4ever 63]

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Good point. Out of the six that didn't make it only one of them cried it was clear cut fraud. The other five however have since left or visit on occasion, one of them has an account but has never participated that I know of. That one I met somewhere else and they choose to join VJ later. They all have the common factor of being much older than their Husbands from mena countries and that they were all deceived by their spouses in one way or another. This could fall under the category of a failed marriage however deception is in the definition of a fraud. One of them has even openly admitted on here that their spouse first told them in the beginning they were out to deceive them for the green card and genuinley feel in love with their spouse. I suspect that sometimes these men are so desperate looking for a way out of their countries that they find a way though these much older women but eventually do develop very real feelings for their spouses. They may give it a shot and then it becomes a failed marriage or they may choose to stay with their spouse and make an honest situation out of it. No one really knows the truth in each individual cases except for the individuals involved.

In Egypt they did just pass a few marriage reform laws within the last year that I did post about here on VJ. The law now states that no one couple can marry that has an age difference of 25 years or more. This law was created mainly to stop the increased divorce rates. The countries know their divorce rates I am not sure about the consulates or embassies. It's been in the home countries news for awhile. One concern they have is the foregin women marrying their men and then divorcing them. The reasons that they cite are age, compatability, lack of a common language, and all these things that the consulates use to discriminate who gets a visa and who doesn't. Is that enough for there to be a tie there, you tell me? One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride and take her back to their country. In one case they sited a 95 year old man marrying an 18 year old woman. Now that is an extreme case but before the law was enacted it was a possible situation. From what I know the general attitude of the country and their native residences is that they want their own people to marry their own kind. The families, the governments and their laws try to support that. I know this for a fact. People are always going to find away around the laws with loop holes though.

That is interesting about the laws. I was going to ask if it was for the older men as well, but you answered the question. Still an age difference of 25 years is still a large gap, so it leaves a lot of room.

Although my husband and I do have a really good marriage I must say if I was an outsider looking in I would doubt the validity as well. I have to be realistic here, it is uncommon.

So the question comes to mind, why does a younger guy from a different country marry an older woman? I think there could be many answers here, but I think the only ones that intententinally seek an older woman would be for a visa. Mind you I am not saying that is the case with many here. What I think is that a man sees a woman, she may appear older, but still not bad looking at all. I doubt the first thing that comes to his mind is her age, just that he finds her attractive or interesting. But when the news hits about her age I am sure it must take them back some. If they are looking for a real relationship then this age difference gives them a lot to think about. If he wants kids it could be an issue yes, but not just that. She is going to age soon, and it will show. Also a higher chance that she will become elderly and he will still be young. That places a large responsibility on him to take care of her. Another thing to consider is that she will most likely die first, leaving him alone. Of course for a man out for only a visa he doesn't really care, but to someone looking for a real relationship these are factors that will need to be weighed into a decision to marry.

With these things in mind I do think that a man would prefer a woman closer to his own age, but you know sometimes love develops where you least expect it. At that point a decision needs to be made, "can I live with the possible situations this may bring?".

I think that there are many reasons a man may look out of his country for a marriage. Using a woman for a visa is a strong possibility. The marriages in Morocco can be difficult. You must have enough to offer to get married, and times are tough there. So this may be there best opportunity for a marriage. Perhaps he wants out of Morocco, but he is also looking for love, so not using a woman, just wanting to find love in another country. probably many more reasons.

The bottom line is that we must open our eyes and understand the risk we are taking. We must use our head rather than trusting only our heart when those signs are there. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

[Y's_habibitk 2]

I really dont see a big deal with an age difference. But there is a reasonable limit in my opinion. If you are old enough to be your spouses parent.. that could present a problem down the road. IMHO

Alot of people say... it's ok, i dont want children.. but thats what alot of people say in their early 20's. Give it 5 years and they may change their tune. That would be my fear if I was in that boat.

I know a couple who has been married for like 30 years with a 24 year age difference. The problem is the younger spouse is now dealing with the fact that her husband is in his 70's and not in good health. She is having to deal with aging parents AND an spouse who is getting grumpy and his health is declining fast. She's a vibrant 50 something.

I guess if they have had 30 years of happiness its a fair trade off though huh?

It all depends on the couple I guess. For some individuals 5-10 years may as well be 25 heh

btw, im 8 years older than my husband.. a change for me

thats my 2.5 cents guys lol

Lisa

[Y's_habibitk 2]

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Good point. Out of the six that didn't make it only one of them cried it was clear cut fraud. The other five however have since left or visit on occasion, one of them has an account but has never participated that I know of. That one I met somewhere else and they choose to join VJ later. They all have the common factor of being much older than their Husbands from mena countries and that they were all deceived by their spouses in one way or another. This could fall under the category of a failed marriage however deception is in the definition of a fraud. One of them has even openly admitted on here that their spouse first told them in the beginning they were out to deceive them for the green card and genuinley feel in love with their spouse. I suspect that sometimes these men are so desperate looking for a way out of their countries that they find a way though these much older women but eventually do develop very real feelings for their spouses. They may give it a shot and then it becomes a failed marriage or they may choose to stay with their spouse and make an honest situation out of it. No one really knows the truth in each individual cases except for the individuals involved.

In Egypt they did just pass a few marriage reform laws within the last year that I did post about here on VJ. The law now states that no one couple can marry that has an age difference of 25 years or more. This law was created mainly to stop the increased divorce rates. The countries know their divorce rates I am not sure about the consulates or embassies. It's been in the home countries news for awhile. One concern they have is the foregin women marrying their men and then divorcing them. The reasons that they cite are age, compatability, lack of a common language, and all these things that the consulates use to discriminate who gets a visa and who doesn't. Is that enough for there to be a tie there, you tell me? One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride and take her back to their country. In one case they sited a 95 year old man marrying an 18 year old woman. Now that is an extreme case but before the law was enacted it was a possible situation. From what I know the general attitude of the country and their native residences is that they want their own people to marry their own kind. The families, the governments and their laws try to support that. I know this for a fact. People are always going to find away around the laws with loop holes though.

That is interesting about the laws. I was going to ask if it was for the older men as well, but you answered the question. Still an age difference of 25 years is still a large gap, so it leaves a lot of room.

Although my husband and I do have a really good marriage I must say if I was an outsider looking in I would doubt the validity as well. I have to be realistic here, it is uncommon.

So the question comes to mind, why does a younger guy from a different country marry an older woman? I think there could be many answers here, but I think the only ones that intententinally seek an older woman would be for a visa. Mind you I am not saying that is the case with many here. What I think is that a man sees a woman, she may appear older, but still not bad looking at all. I doubt the first thing that comes to his mind is her age, just that he finds her attractive or interesting. But when the news hits about her age I am sure it must take them back some. If they are looking for a real relationship then this age difference gives them a lot to think about. If he wants kids it could be an issue yes, but not just that. She is going to age soon, and it will show. Also a higher chance that she will become elderly and he will still be young. That places a large responsibility on him to take care of her. Another thing to consider is that she will most likely die first, leaving him alone. Of course for a man out for only a visa he doesn't really care, but to someone looking for a real relationship these are factors that will need to be weighed into a decision to marry.

With these things in mind I do think that a man would prefer a woman closer to his own age, but you know sometimes love develops where you least expect it. At that point a decision needs to be made, "can I live with the possible situations this may bring?".

I think that there are many reasons a man may look out of his country for a marriage. Using a woman for a visa is a strong possibility. The marriages in Morocco can be difficult. You must have enough to offer to get married, and times are tough there. So this may be there best opportunity for a marriage. Perhaps he wants out of Morocco, but he is also looking for love, so not using a woman, just wanting to find love in another country. probably many more reasons.

The bottom line is that we must open our eyes and understand the risk we are taking. We must use our head rather than trusting only our heart when those signs are there. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

Well said

[SaadBell 0]

They are poor in Egypt, that is why my husband lives in Kuwait, they make way more money there. The only family left in Egypt are his two sisters and father, his two brothers are in Australia. The brothers are trying to get us to move there, that would ok, but they have those spiders and some big crocks.

[sereia 0]

I think that there are many reasons a man may look out of his country for a marriage. Using a woman for a visa is a strong possibility. The marriages in Morocco can be difficult. You must have enough to offer to get married, and times are tough there. So this may be there best opportunity for a marriage. Perhaps he wants out of Morocco, but he is also looking for love, so not using a woman, just wanting to find love in another country. probably many more reasons.

The bottom line is that we must open our eyes and understand the risk we are taking. We must use our head rather than trusting only our heart when those signs are there. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

Well said. Yes its not easy for a young man to get married in Morocco. If they marry an American I doubt they usually provide the mahr (bride gift/dowry) that they would have to for a Moroccan wife.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

That is interesting about the laws. I was going to ask if it was for the older men as well, but you answered the question. Still an age difference of 25 years is still a large gap, so it leaves a lot of room.

Although my husband and I do have a really good marriage I must say if I was an outsider looking in I would doubt the validity as well. I have to be realistic here, it is uncommon.

So the question comes to mind, why does a younger guy from a different country marry an older woman? I think there could be many answers here, but I think the only ones that intententinally seek an older woman would be for a visa. Mind you I am not saying that is the case with many here. What I think is that a man sees a woman, she may appear older, but still not bad looking at all. I doubt the first thing that comes to his mind is her age, just that he finds her attractive or interesting. But when the news hits about her age I am sure it must take them back some. If they are looking for a real relationship then this age difference gives them a lot to think about. If he wants kids it could be an issue yes, but not just that. She is going to age soon, and it will show. Also a higher chance that she will become elderly and he will still be young. That places a large responsibility on him to take care of her. Another thing to consider is that she will most likely die first, leaving him alone. Of course for a man out for only a visa he doesn't really care, but to someone looking for a real relationship these are factors that will need to be weighed into a decision to marry.

With these things in mind I do think that a man would prefer a woman closer to his own age, but you know sometimes love develops where you least expect it. At that point a decision needs to be made, "can I live with the possible situations this may bring?".

I think that there are many reasons a man may look out of his country for a marriage. Using a woman for a visa is a strong possibility. The marriages in Morocco can be difficult. You must have enough to offer to get married, and times are tough there. So this may be there best opportunity for a marriage. Perhaps he wants out of Morocco, but he is also looking for love, so not using a woman, just wanting to find love in another country. probably many more reasons.

The bottom line is that we must open our eyes and understand the risk we are taking. We must use our head rather than trusting only our heart when those signs are there. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

I think you bring up some really good points. Many on here have told me that if these men don't want kids with you then watch out because that is not common. They are typically very family oriented people. The other point you bring up is the difficulties presented to these men in their own country for getting married. Michael Slackman of the New York Times is doing a whole series on Marriage in Egypt and the plights of their youth. Some may remember one of his articles I posted about how the culture as a whole is impacted by the unreasonable expectations set up. The brides want a wedding bash and a certain dowry and the men must have a furnished home for them to come live in, and the prize is they hold on to their virginity until marraige. Many young couples in their own country may want to marry but due to economics and these expectations they are unable to. They work and save for years to meet the monetary requirments before they can wed. A consequence of this delay in marriage is the culture as a whole becomes more religious/pious. At least according to the article Slackman wrote this is one affect that is happening in Egypt. I am unsure about the other mena countries. Another consequence may just be as you said. That these men look for the loop hole and marry outside their country and culture. They don't have to provide a wedding, or in some cases a dowry, or a home for their foreign brides to live in, or even the money for their visas in most cases, and it is a way for them to get out of their country and prosper elsewhere. To them here are certainly a lot more benefits to marrying foreign.

[Staashi 371]

OK - don't want to offend, but if I do it is the nature of the topic.

I think older woman/younger man marriage can work well, as long as the couple accepts that there will be certain barriers within their relationship. And really, all relationships will have barriers and naturally, SH!T does happen.

To bring this issue on to an immigration website is the fact that age differences -significant ones - are typically viewed as red flags for visa fraud; this goes for both men and women petitioning for significant others. One other thing that I believe gives the MENA USEMs pause when approving visas is that many MENA men typically want to marry a virgin. Thus, the idea that he is marrying a 40+-year old woman with 3 kids might raise a few eyebrows. I'm not saying love doesn't exist, I just believe that these couples will have a few more obstacles (USCIS/DOS) placed in front of them.

Just food for thought.

[nunyab 0]

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Good point. Out of the six that didn't make it only one of them cried it was clear cut fraud. The other five however have since left or visit on occasion, one of them has an account but has never participated that I know of. That one I met somewhere else and they choose to join VJ later. They all have the common factor of being much older than their Husbands from mena countries and that they were all deceived by their spouses in one way or another. This could fall under the category of a failed marriage however deception is in the definition of a fraud. One of them has even openly admitted on here that their spouse first told them in the beginning they were out to deceive them for the green card and genuinley feel in love with their spouse. I suspect that sometimes these men are so desperate looking for a way out of their countries that they find a way though these much older women but eventually do develop very real feelings for their spouses. They may give it a shot and then it becomes a failed marriage or they may choose to stay with their spouse and make an honest situation out of it. No one really knows the truth in each individual cases except for the individuals involved.

In Egypt they did just pass a few marriage reform laws within the last year that I did post about here on VJ. The law now states that no one couple can marry that has an age difference of 25 years or more. This law was created mainly to stop the increased divorce rates. The countries know their divorce rates I am not sure about the consulates or embassies. It's been in the home countries news for awhile. One concern they have is the foregin women marrying their men and then divorcing them. The reasons that they cite are age, compatability, lack of a common language, and all these things that the consulates use to discriminate who gets a visa and who doesn't. Is that enough for there to be a tie there, you tell me? One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride and take her back to their country. In one case they sited a 95 year old man marrying an 18 year old woman. Now that is an extreme case but before the law was enacted it was a possible situation. From what I know the general attitude of the country and their native residences is that they want their own people to marry their own kind. The families, the governments and their laws try to support that. I know this for a fact. People are always going to find away around the laws with loop holes though.

That is interesting about the laws. I was going to ask if it was for the older men as well, but you answered the question. Still an age difference of 25 years is still a large gap, so it leaves a lot of room.

Although my husband and I do have a really good marriage I must say if I was an outsider looking in I would doubt the validity as well. I have to be realistic here, it is uncommon.

So the question comes to mind, why does a younger guy from a different country marry an older woman? I think there could be many answers here, but I think the only ones that intententinally seek an older woman would be for a visa. Mind you I am not saying that is the case with many here. What I think is that a man sees a woman, she may appear older, but still not bad looking at all. I doubt the first thing that comes to his mind is her age, just that he finds her attractive or interesting. But when the news hits about her age I am sure it must take them back some. If they are looking for a real relationship then this age difference gives them a lot to think about. If he wants kids it could be an issue yes, but not just that. She is going to age soon, and it will show. Also a higher chance that she will become elderly and he will still be young. That places a large responsibility on him to take care of her. Another thing to consider is that she will most likely die first, leaving him alone. Of course for a man out for only a visa he doesn't really care, but to someone looking for a real relationship these are factors that will need to be weighed into a decision to marry.

With these things in mind I do think that a man would prefer a woman closer to his own age, but you know sometimes love develops where you least expect it. At that point a decision needs to be made, "can I live with the possible situations this may bring?".

I think that there are many reasons a man may look out of his country for a marriage. Using a woman for a visa is a strong possibility. The marriages in Morocco can be difficult. You must have enough to offer to get married, and times are tough there. So this may be there best opportunity for a marriage. Perhaps he wants out of Morocco, but he is also looking for love, so not using a woman, just wanting to find love in another country. probably many more reasons.

The bottom line is that we must open our eyes and understand the risk we are taking. We must use our head rather than trusting only our heart when those signs are there. We are ultimately responsible for our own actions.

OK i'll get to it now... I've been married before as some know it..Olivia even knows that my first husband and i married cause we were stupid 19 yr olds wanting to reap the "awesome" marriage benefits that comes with being married in the military. yeah stupid.. he wasn't even from another country to use marriage as a reason for a better life...

My husband (Reda) is indeed 11 yrs younger than me... he also told me he was looking for a woman to marry from another country. He had dreamed as a child what his wife would be like and he searched for her... my husband is very handsome, funny, smart and talented he certainly has more choices out there than someone "old" like me. Why did he marry me??? many factors including love, common goals, common religion.... the "good" muslim man always wants to be like our Prophet (sws) our prophet's first wife was older by 15 yrs.. she respected and adored our prophet as I respect and adore my husband.

Have i questioned his intentions??? sure but is it cause he is younger?? nope, cause he is from MENA???? nope (had already been used for benefits) cause he is a man??? more likely lol... I brought up our ages so often he made me -promise not to talk to him anymore about it... he said we have other things in our marriage to focus on then the numbers and he will always consider himself older than me... i respect my husband, not for a number but cause he is my husband and a man who's opinion i value, a sense of humor that cracks me up and a love for life that i share with him.

As Reda would say "Allah only knows how long we will all be alive... he gave me a wonderful person to love and take care of Allah knows I will do all i can for my wife always until my last breath"

than again... my first marriage??? 7 yrs second 10 yrs... Reda and me??? the rest of my life insha'allah

[Martiniolive 0]

Well after the wedding night, whats a virgin have that a well seasoned veteran can't top Did I say that out loud???????

OK - don't want to offend, but if I do it is the nature of the topic.

I think older woman/younger man marriage can work well, as long as the couple accepts that there will be certain barriers within their relationship. And really, all relationships will have barriers and naturally, SH!T does happen.

To bring this issue on to an immigration website is the fact that age differences -significant ones - are typically viewed as red flags for visa fraud; this goes for both men and women petitioning for significant others. One other thing that I believe gives the MENA USEMs pause when approving visas is that many MENA men typically want to marry a virgin. Thus, the idea that he is marrying a 40+-year old woman with 3 kids might raise a few eyebrows. I'm not saying love doesn't exist, I just believe that these couples will have a few more obstacles (USCIS/DOS) placed in front of them.

Just food for thought.

[Imua 0]

I would say there is a lot to be said (from the younger man's viewpoint) for marrying a non-virgin even if you are a virgin - it's much more fun if SOMEBODY knows what they're doing on your wedding(or in my hubby's tradition, engagement) night.

There was an article in the NY Times about gays struggling for rights in Nepal and one guy said people kept asking him why promote sex that doesn't lead to children - it's pretty sad if that is the only reason you see for having sex...

[Aymsgirl 0]

I still have to read this entire post but my husband is 38 and I will soon be 33. I am the US Citizen.

[doodlebugg 10]

if it all still works who cares what age you are?