Does Age really matter????

[~Jackie~ 30]

Right on Pattu! I can totally understand where you are coming from. Our 'child' is furry, 4 paws and a diva attitude.

jJ

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Good point. Out of the six that didn't make it only one of them cried it was clear cut fraud. The other five however have since left or visit on occasion, one of them has an account but has never participated that I know of. That one I met somewhere else and they choose to join VJ later. They all have the common factor of being much older than their Husbands from mena countries and that they were all deceived by their spouses in one way or another. This could fall under the category of a failed marriage however deception is in the definition of a fraud. One of them has even openly admitted on here that their spouse first told them in the beginning they were out to deceive them for the green card and genuinley feel in love with their spouse. I suspect that sometimes these men are so desperate looking for a way out of their countries that they find a way though these much older women but eventually do develop very real feelings for their spouses. They may give it a shot and then it becomes a failed marriage or they may choose to stay with their spouse and make an honest situation out of it. No one really knows the truth in each individual cases except for the individuals involved.

In Egypt they did just pass a few marriage reform laws within the last year that I did post about here on VJ. The law now states that no one couple can marry that has an age difference of 25 years or more. This law was created mainly to stop the increased divorce rates. The countries know their divorce rates I am not sure about the consulates or embassies. It's been in the home countries news for awhile. One concern they have is the foregin women marrying their men and then divorcing them. The reasons that they cite are age, compatability, lack of a common language, and all these things that the consulates use to discriminate who gets a visa and who doesn't. Is that enough for there to be a tie there, you tell me? One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride and take her back to their country. In one case they sited a 95 year old man marrying an 18 year old woman. Now that is an extreme case but before the law was enacted it was a possible situation. From what I know the general attitude of the country and their native residences is that they want their own people to marry their own kind. The families, the governments and their laws try to support that. I know this for a fact. People are always going to find away around the laws with loop holes though.

[Martiniolive 0]

OH a Cougar LOL well if you are a cougar you are aparently a very hot cougar

SOME STRANGE REASON I ATTRACT YOUNGER MEN LOL

I actually am about 8 years older than my husband...does that make me a COUGAR

[bassel15 0]

Thanks.... you are all very strong and very smart women....I feel happy really less worried about the age difference....love comes when we least expect it thats for sure....

[Martiniolive 0]

well part of why I waited so long was I did not even think I would feel like I do about a younger guy...and he was really far away as you say. So it seemed like such an impossible long shot I did not think we needed personal details. He was just a really respectful nice guy that kept chatting with me. He was always so upbeat and funny that it was easy to keep talking to him. I did not even pay attention to it much until I went away for a vacation somewhere and it hit me that I missed talking to him each day. Thats all really it snuck up on me. I was driving and thinking wow I can't believe I am actually missing that guy and suddenly I got a text from him! I had to pull over in my car to read it and it was simple really but at the bottom he said "Je'Taime" and I was like..I have seen that word somewhere before .. I had to use google translate when I got home. It did take me a while to reciprocate and be comfortable with that. Than I found a woman who was 60 with a husband from morocco whom was 30 years old! They went thru the visa stuff and had been living happily for over 6 years here. And now here I am on VJ's. Were surrounded!!!! Group Hug

I have a hunch that alot of things take the RAP for the divorce rate. When people are hurting and sad they say alot of mean things and it is always the other guys fault. It is toooo easy to blame things like...he cheated, used me, especially green card that makes everyone say "I KNEW IT!!!!!" It could so easily really be they just were a bad match, or had less in common that originally thought and so on. It took me along time to admit my age to my husband. I did not tell him until I had to show him my drivers lic and birth certificates and i was sweating!!! Thank god he did not flinch. Men from his country are very mature and want to be settled down and married. We had the qualities each was searching for and our ages don't seem to matter to us. But I have to add that he does need some training which goes with a younger (never married) man and that takes patience on my part. But it's a good trade I think. Because when we do understand each other (hello culture and internet communication) it is such bliss.

This is a hot buttoned question for certain. Evidence has proven that a considerable age difference has played a bigger factor in fraud cases. A much older woman is often times courted by a much younger mena male. Then married and go through the visa process. When the male comes over here and has their green card they divorce their much older wife. The rate of divorce has caused some countries to crack down and make new laws and increased restrictions by consulates making for longer waiting periods for everyone because they are trying to weed out the frauds. Again this has not been the case for everyone as there are several example on VJ of successful relationships of this sort where the woman is much older and the man much younger. However, off the top of my head I can think of six cases on VJ in the mena region that have fallen under these unfortunate circumstance in the time that I have been here to observe.

Is the divorce rate because of clear cut fraud, or just the fact that they just didn't make it? It is so hard to tell, but yeah, the fraud ####### is making life miserable for the true relationships.

I guess I don't keep up on the statistics here, but I am curious as to the 6 you have mentioned.

Three years is not biggie. But then again who cares what anyone else thinks? The only people that I worried about was the immigration. Are you concerned that these 3 years will cause you problems? Personally I wouldn't consider that to be a red flag in your case.

I can't help but wonder if this is going to turn into a flame thread.

Yes M4E it is going to but we are due LOL

We have been missing some drama here lately haven't we.

Thats funny that you waited so long to tell him your age. That was the FIRST thing I told my husband, along with the fact that he was too young, and to far away. Obviously I changed my mind.

[SaadBell 0]

One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride

My husband is in the Gulf countries and he bought me We both came out of long term marriages, we have 5 kids between us, so kids are not an issue, he was married 15 years I was married 23 years, now that helps, because we both know what it takes to stay with someone that long. I am older, by 8 years, but the 15 years marriage aged him. lol Good luck no one knows what will work and what won't, they thought me and my ex-husband wouldn't make it a week, well we made it 23 years, hell years, but still longer than a week. So enjoy the ride, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

One other concern for that went towards the creation of this law was the wealthier men from the gulf countries coming to Egypt to purchase a country bride

My husband is in the Gulf countries and he bought me We both came out of long term marriages, we have 5 kids between us, so kids are not an issue, he was married 15 years I was married 23 years, now that helps, because we both know what it takes to stay with someone that long. I am older, by 8 years, but the 15 years marriage aged him. lol Good luck no one knows what will work and what won't, they thought me and my ex-husband wouldn't make it a week, well we made it 23 years, hell years, but still longer than a week. So enjoy the ride, you never know what tomorrow will bring.

No honey. You got it wrong. It the wealthy Gulf Arabs who are known to purchase simple poor country Egyptian girls in arranged marriages. Sometimes these marriages are not the Gulf Arabs first marriage and they have more than one wife.

[SaadBell 0]

My husband got a poor American lol poor guy

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

My husband got a poor American lol poor guy

Poor Americans are far richer here then poor Egyptians there.

[Imua 0]

Right on Pattu! I can totally understand where you are coming from. Our 'child' is furry, 4 paws and a diva attitude.

jJ

Aww Jackie, I wish I could see a pic... I lost my feathered baby 2 years ago and at this time of year I miss her terribly - give your kitty lots of hugs and kisses in memory of Lani(even though kitty would probably try to 'play' with Lani if she could... )

[Imua 0]

well part of why I waited so long was I did not even think I would feel like I do about a younger guy...and he was really far away as you say. So it seemed like such an impossible long shot I did not think we needed personal details. He was just a really respectful nice guy that kept chatting with me. He was always so upbeat and funny that it was easy to keep talking to him. I did not even pay attention to it much until I went away for a vacation somewhere and it hit me that I missed talking to him each day. Thats all really it snuck up on me. I was driving and thinking wow I can't believe I am actually missing that guy and suddenly I got a text from him! I had to pull over in my car to read it and it was simple really but at the bottom he said "Je'Taime" and I was like..I have seen that word somewhere before .. I had to use google translate when I got home. It did take me a while to reciprocate and be comfortable with that. Than I found a woman who was 60 with a husband from morocco whom was 30 years old! They went thru the visa stuff and had been living happily for over 6 years here. And now here I am on VJ's. Were surrounded!!!! Group Hug

Aw, cute story about the text - I really hope you guys get through your current rough spot.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

group hug for all old ladies, get your wheel chairs and canes moving into the circle girlies, we dont have all night to gather

[~Jackie~ 30]

Chasing a bird would require La Princessa to actually move off her throne. The bird would have to come to her

jJ

hey brni aarp sent me a card today course had to put on my granny glasses to read it

[Imua 0]

group hug for all old ladies, get your wheel chairs and canes moving into the circle girlies, we dont have all night to gather

wait a sec, gotta take my Geritol first before I forget....

[Imua 0]

Chasing a bird would require La Princessa to actually move off her throne. The bird would have to come to her

jJ

hey brni aarp sent me a card today course had to put on my granny glasses to read it

Lani would have done it too, she had more ####### than brains sometimes - I hope she gets to chase the kitties in birdie heaven.