Are Americans safe in Morocco?

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

eta: I made 4 trips and never once felt a moment of fear.

Statements like this from Americans that have never lived abroad for an extended time make me laugh. You'd probably be on a plane for home after 4 months. Seriously, you don't learn anything in a 2 week vacation or even a summer abroad. It takes a BARE Minimum of at least 6 months to BEGIN to learn anything about another country, it's culture, the pitfalls of living there, etc. Life anywhere in the ME is cutthroat and difficult for someone from the west to adjust to. It's difficult enough for men coming to the US from the ME to adjust to a new culture but at least they are gaining more than they lose. When you are a western woman from the 1st world moving to the ME where it's second world at best you are giving up a lot more, not just in terms of standard of living but in rights/equality and opportunities as well.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

eta: I made 4 trips and never once felt a moment of fear.

Statements like this from Americans that have never lived abroad for an extended time make me laugh. You'd probably be on a plane for home after 4 months. Seriously, you don't learn anything in a 2 week vacation or even a summer abroad. It takes a BARE Minimum of at least 6 months to BEGIN to learn anything about another country, it's culture, the pitfalls of living there, etc. Life anywhere in the ME is cutthroat and difficult for someone from the west to adjust to. It's difficult enough for men coming to the US from the ME to adjust to a new culture but at least they are gaining more than they lose. When you are a western woman from the 1st world moving to the ME where it's second world at best you are giving up a lot more, not just in terms of standard of living but in rights/equality and opportunities as well.

I think it has alot to do with what is going on in the country. How many attacks have been perpetrated in lets say Jordan against foreigners? Morocco is relatively safe. My spouses country had the UN blown up in December and explosions happen weekly. Again. I think its an absolute smoke screen and lie what he is doing. Lots of Americans live with their spouses in MENA including what I would call dangerous places which Morocco is certainly not. For god sakes, Henia lives like a half hour from where they are blowing up army depots ,trains, and god knows what else and already several foreigners have been killed. There is no travel advisory of any level to Morocco. He doesnt want to be with her anymore because his visa didnt come fast and simple and thats all he apparently wants anyway. If he loved her, he would tell her to move there or at least act interested in fighting out an ap period or be depressed about it. Hes not . He texts her I LOVE YOU,ignores her pain. Makes up these bogus safety stories cause he either has decided to stay in Morocco or he wants to try a European spouse or just wants out. For Gods sake, sugar coating for people is why we put up with this #######. I wish beyond wish that I would have listened to just about ANYONE here in the months before my husband got here. They all told me to leave him when he was still back there and I should have. He was a total ### and a user and a liar. Now I have been dealing with the worst support system during a time that I need love and support.

Martini olive, consider yourself SPARED from him. Hes a jerk and a user. If he loved you , he would nt make up these stupid lies. And no Morocco is not "dangerous". Trusting him is. Lose him. I wish I would have listened to Amal, Moroccoforever or just about anyone else on here.. He was doing stuff long before. He is one that I wish WOULD have gotten ap and stayed in it

Love you guys....sadder but wiser...

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

eta: I made 4 trips and never once felt a moment of fear.

Statements like this from Americans that have never lived abroad for an extended time make me laugh. You'd probably be on a plane for home after 4 months. Seriously, you don't learn anything in a 2 week vacation or even a summer abroad. It takes a BARE Minimum of at least 6 months to BEGIN to learn anything about another country, it's culture, the pitfalls of living there, etc. Life anywhere in the ME is cutthroat and difficult for someone from the west to adjust to. It's difficult enough for men coming to the US from the ME to adjust to a new culture but at least they are gaining more than they lose. When you are a western woman from the 1st world moving to the ME where it's second world at best you are giving up a lot more, not just in terms of standard of living but in rights/equality and opportunities as well.

Oh and ps , not all mena men have it "better " over here. Maybe they have toilets that flush here but I have seen ones that resent the American work ethic and putting in time at a job and resent having to pay bills. Work over here is how it really is WORK. In many places in mena , they work a few hours a day and then sit around the rest of the day smoking and drinking coffee. Here its more money and maybe cleaner. But life over here for many mena people is actually HARDER. They cant get their food readily, whats acceptable in their country like the way they treat people is not as readily accepted here.. If they have no ambition, they cant see opportunities, especially if they see the US spouse as a sugar momma and that happens more than any of us want to talk about with age differences and a 20 something or early 30s spouse whos always lived with mommy or extended family. They dont understand or grasp working to pay bills cause bills over there are really cheap. Not all mena people have their lives improved by moving here, Here they have stress... they have bigger bills... yes hygeine is better but thats about it. The us for many is just a place to make money and send it home... because they dont want to adapt. I would never assume all mena guys appreciate the pleathora of opportunities here cause not all do and I have seen this in SEVERAL mena men I have known personally both in my relationship and the relationships of other American women I know locally married to Mena men who do not pull their weight financially and live here phyically but their still overseas in their heads

[Ihavequestions 419]

eta: I made 4 trips and never once felt a moment of fear.

Statements like this from Americans that have never lived abroad for an extended time make me laugh.

They don't make me laugh, but they do make me shake my head, particularly from people who have married foreign men and are petitioning for a visa.

All things considered, I say the OP's husband needs to be handed divorce papers. Unsafe for Americans in Morocco is it? Then why are Americans allowed to travel there? He'd have to stay home from work to keep an eye on you, eh? Are you sure he even has work? Just asking.

Look, violent crime (rapes, murders, robberies) are uncommon in predominantly Muslim countries. If you lived in Morocco, you could walk the streets relatively safely. The biggest hurdle to your well-being would be the endless staring that ALL westerners endure. Do these people say things? Laugh? They sure do. But unless you're the type who can't have their feelings hurt, you'd be just fine.

As for you getting work, someone from Morocco already said that would be easy for you. Join the teacher party of other women married to MENA men. Lots of Western women live in MENA countries and teach, with or without credentials. The demand for native English speakers is high, those jobs are easy to get, and the pay is exponentially higher than the local teacher wage.

Your husband knows all of this, just as those who have either travelled extensively or lived in MENA countries know this.

Pack your bags, buy a round trip ticket, and go. When you call him to pick you up at the airport, tell him you will stay for an extended period of time. He will either do the right thing, the same thing he would have already done if he was married to a local girl, and find you a decent place to live, or he'll pee himself.

Then you'll have your answer.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

eta: I made 4 trips and never once felt a moment of fear.

Statements like this from Americans that have never lived abroad for an extended time make me laugh.

They don't make me laugh, but they do make me shake my head, particularly from people who have married foreign men and are petitioning for a visa.

All things considered, I say the OP's husband needs to be handed divorce papers. Unsafe for Americans in Morocco is it? Then why are Americans allowed to travel there? He'd have to stay home from work to keep an eye on you, eh? Are you sure he even has work? Just asking.

Look, violent crime (rapes, murders, robberies) are uncommon in predominantly Muslim countries. If you lived in Morocco, you could walk the streets relatively safely. The biggest hurdle to your well-being would be the endless staring that ALL westerners endure. Do these people say things? Laugh? They sure do. But unless you're the type who can't have their feelings hurt, you'd be just fine.

As for you getting work, someone from Morocco already said that would be easy for you. Join the teacher party of other women married to MENA men. Lots of Western women live in MENA countries and teach, with or without credentials. The demand for native English speakers is high, those jobs are easy to get, and the pay is exponentially higher than the local teacher wage.

Your husband knows all of this, just as those who have either travelled extensively or lived in MENA countries know this.

Pack your bags, buy a round trip ticket, and go. When you call him to pick you up at the airport, tell him you will stay for an extended period of time. He will either do the right thing, the same thing he would have already done if he was married to a local girl, and find you a decent place to live, or he'll pee himself.

Then you'll have your answer.

agreed.....,...I dont mind lending support but for gods sakes, when the guy is clearly full of ####, I am calling. Mine was and I wish I listened. I wish he was in ap, ar or I never met him. I certainly wish I had listened to amal or just about anyone on here.. My situation has sucked because I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Her husband or whatever you want to call him clearly doesnt want her.. martini go to Morocco and before you do, tell HIM to arrange the divorce papers and go to the hearing. You need closure and there are plenty of moroccan americans with papers, greencards and citizenship who dont need you for a damn thing other than your company who will be glad to tourguide you and let you cry on their strong kind shoulders... You deserve better and you know it.. I d love to see his face when he has to divorce you while you are there,, easy to text message some dumb ### message...

[Martiniolive 0]

I really do not know what to say in response to this post by hanging in there. I know she is looking out for what she feels is in my best interest according to her feelings about this issue. I have asked my husband to respond to it himself in his own words soon, hopefully he will have time to do it. He has read these posts. Martiniolive

I ask this because I have spent 5 weeks at a time in morocco and felt very safe and thought the local people were actually very kind and warm and I felt very safe. However my husband (from morocco) tells me that he does not want us to live in morocco (as a last resort) because he feels (altho visiting morocco is ok) alot of people are prejudiced against Americans because of the war and will be unkind to me. He feels living there would actually be dangerous for us both. He feels that if I knew the native languages fluently at least than I could defend myself if the say bad things to me but because he feels I do not understand and am too nice, I would just smile and somehow that would be worse. also we would be reprimanded if we show affection in public if we forget to control our actions. And that the government is very protective of americans and if anything happened to me he would be prosocuted and punished. WOW! He also said he would be so nervous to leave me alone that he would not be able to work like he would have to watch me all the time. I have not heard anyone else say this stuff. I mean he said he would love it if we could have a home there and visit but he just thinks it is not possible. What do you all think? Is this true? It seems crazy. He sounds like my parents before I went there the first time.

This is complete ####### martiniolive. I want to start by telling you, you are a beautiful woman. You are also very dedicated to your husband. True love does not abandon when you get a turn down from an embassy. It doesnt when you face crisis. Or death. Or tragedy . I think I have a right to talk about this. My suggestion? Return to Morocco. Go there and look in his eyes and listen to all the reasons he doesnt want you to be in Morocco,etc. Make sure you have money and resources for a hotel in another city. Better than this, go unannounced. My gut feeling? If he was saying anything else other than some bs Morocco is dangerous statement, I would say you are in clear water. I think its about papers. When love doesnt prevail over getting what someone wants and they are clearly disposable,that isnt love. Love is eternal and lasts past death, tragedy, barreness. It lasts as the ship is going on. There have been many people here whos marriages have survived ap but BOTH people have got to fight like hell for it. Some engagements have been kept in ap more than one year and they are finally getting their visa

Was my marriage legit? On my end. The death of my child showed me that it wasnt for him. At least you didnt have to endure what I had to. My husband was all about getting the best deal for him. The work was too hard, the sacrifice too great..and then trying to get support from someone who was just hedging his bets on the best place to plant his feet was harder.

For gods sake, divorce him. Go to Morocco first and talk to him before you file the papers and talk to him face to face about what he really wants. If you cant survive ap, how could you survive breast cancer, being in a wheelchair or death? Marriage is about commitment and sacrifice.

ITS ABOUT SURVIVING TOUGH TIMES. NOT ABOUT DUMPING YOU BECAUSE THE VISA DIDNT COME QUICK ENOUGH. Sugar coating this for you will not help you. Just thank god you havent had to go through what I endured... Love does exist. It is big enough. It is all encompassing . But when you have it with an immature self serving ####### who tells you things like morocco is not safe, you need to go to morocco to face your demons and say goodbye. Divorcing from back here with bullshit text messages will not give you closure. A trip to morocco will. Get on the plane. Face your demons. Say goodbye if you have to. If you have to text him back, IF YOU LOVED ME YOU WOULDNT DUMP ME WHEN THE VISA DIDNT COME FAST

I would be very curious to see why the interviewer turned him down. I would contact the embassy while you are there as well. You really really really need to go to Morocco. Stop smiling at people and figure out when you are going and get on a plane. I know I sound crazy but to say goodbye you need to see someone. Finding out what the real deal with him face to face is going to solve things

By the way, Meknes is a conservative town but getting screwed over for a greencard isnt Moroccan. It isnt just done to the old and fat. Young, vibrant and pretty women, old , small tall and fat ones can get taken as well. It doesn t matter. It very much sounds like you have been victimised. You can ALSO have him file for divorce in Morocco and find out what you need to do to finalise your divorce in Morocco. That way HE PAYS FOR IT. Ask him to file there and that you will come and sign everything for the final hearing. That way it becomes his problem and his mess and not yours to clean up.

Place a call to him and ask him to look into divorce in Morocco and that you will come for the final hearing. The situation sucks and unfortunately when he is so quick to dump you after an ap, fraud is all you have left ..Thats why I am telling you to try to go to morocco. At least he didnt get here and screw your life up beyond belief. TRUST ME AS BAD As YOU FEEL, it could be worse .. MUCH worse. Believe me. You were saved from years of screwing

love kat

[abdouandcarol 0]

After I read all this answers, I found that some people here are … , because they just describe and talk about their bad experience with their husbands . But they must know that love exist and good wives and husbands exist too. It’s so bad to compare your life with other people’s life and judge them, because you do not know what is between them and you never met them in person. I am sure that some women here, were bad with their husbands or them selves are bad or they did a bad choice … I feel sorry for you miss but try again somewhere else or change your self.

Me and my wife are so lucky and we really love each other so much. And I hope to be together so soon and start our life for ever. Muahhhhhhhhhhhh to her.

[notime4haterz 0]

I was only in Morocco for one week and the people were extremely nice to me. I also never felt fear going down the street alone at night to buy stuff from the local supermarket. Living there, I don't know. I don't have any experience long term.

Yes, alot of people do have bad experiences and I think it's good that they write them. Do you know how many women are so stupid that they believe everything the guy says and later they get used and abused and ruin their lives??? I know alot. I think it's good for women to be cautious in anything they do. Sure, give the guy a chance, but don't be naive! That is the best advice I can give.

[Ihavequestions 419]

After I read all this answers, I found that some people here are … , because they just describe and talk about their bad experience with their husbands . But they must know that love exist and good wives and husbands exist too. It’s so bad to compare your life with other people’s life and judge them, because you do not know what is between them and you never met them in person. I am sure that some women here, were bad with their husbands or them selves are bad or they did a bad choice … I feel sorry for you miss but try again somewhere else or change your self.

Me and my wife are so lucky and we really love each other so much. And I hope to be together so soon and start our life for ever. Muahhhhhhhhhhhh to her.

Are you the husband?

[abdouandcarol 0]

Yes I am . do you have any questions ?

[chaishai 1]

Yes I am . do you have any questions ?

sure! why do you think that it is so dangerous for your wife to live in morocco? what if you get denied, can she live there in this case?

[abdouandcarol 0]

Yes I am . do you have any questions ?

sure! why do you think that it is so dangerous for your wife to live in morocco? what if you get denied, can she live there in this case?

Morocco is not dangerous as you understood, but I want her to live in better conditions and have a good life with me, because after she will move here, she will find another life with a different traditions and a new culture.

I love her so much and I want her to feel always safe and happy in a good place, I do care about her more than my self and she worth more. Muah to her.

Edited November 4, 2008 by abdouandcarol

[brnidokiegurl 0]

guess im not understanding the answer is that a yes or no

[brnidokiegurl 0]

guess im not understanding the answer is that a yes or no

[Ihavequestions 419]

Morocco is not dangerous as you understood, but I want her to live in better conditions and have a good life with me, because after she will move here, she will find another life with a different traditions and a new culture.

I love her so much and I want her to feel always safe and happy in a good place, I do care about her more than my self and she worth more. Muah to her.

Of course we all knew it's not dangerous for Americans in Morocco, so why did you tell her it was?

Why did you tell her the visa was denied because the interviewer was prejudice against Muslims?

Are you willing to have your wife live with you in Morocco and file DCF?

What makes you think she will be living in bad conditions in Morocco, that she won't be safe (you used the word, not me), or happy (again, your word)?

Finally, what makes you think your wife won't be able to adapt to - or even enjoy - living in a different culture with different traditions?