sister monster in law-

[Completely 3]

What do you think about this letter? I have sent this to my sister in law.. She humiliate me in the past, but I still find a place in my heart to forgive her. I was so hurt as my pride and ego has torn apart.

I have been thinking about this for several months, and have been saved in my draft box, but I guess I need to let this out.

I can tell you are still upset to me and your brother.. I just wish in the closing of this year 2008, you'll find a way to forget what happened.. I already moved on and never took any heartaches nor grudges of what happened in the past.. But I am just requesting if possible, don’t let the bonding of you and your brother will fall apart.... I can tell he is not happy of what is going on between you and him.. I can feel his anxiety but he is trying to ignore it...

I don’t want to email you about this, but it really bothers me. I am not hoping everybody to like me, but I don’t want to ruin the relationship of your family.

I hope that we can continue to be family, at least with your brother and your nephews .

Edited October 28, 2008 by Completely

[HoneySkin 0]

I felt your good intention to bring the spirit of unity in the family. This is a very noble act. For sure, deep in their hearts they love each other despite of whatever the cause of misunderstanding was....they will always remain a brother and a sister to each other....if i was in your case and if i may suggest...i would probably break the ice of silence first by sending her a gift or a special something with a note that says "You are thought of always" then i will talk to her in person when the opportunity comes like for example during a family thanksgiving dinner or christmas or even by phone call if meeting in person is not possible. If she accepted your gift and your phone call then that is a good indication that she is ready to talk and eventually make peace and reconcile....a smackdown or a type of confrontation is not a good idea especially if you dont have a clue of how she will be able to handle it....test the water first before jumping into it.... it might still be too cold for you....God will be able guide you the best, for this i am sure of....

[Completely 3]

I felt your good intention to bring the spirit of unity in the family. This is a very noble act. For sure, deep in their hearts they love each other despite of whatever the cause of misunderstanding was....they will always remain a brother and a sister to each other....if i was in your case and if i may suggest...i would probably break the ice of silence first by sending her a gift or a special something with a note that says "You are thought of always" then i will talk to her in person when the opportunity comes like for example during a family thanksgiving dinner or christmas or even by phone call if meeting in person is not possible. If she accepted your gift and your phone call then that is a good indication that she is ready to talk and eventually make peace and reconcile....a smackdown or a type of confrontation is not a good idea especially if you dont have a clue of how she will be able to handle it....test the water first before jumping into it.... it might still be too cold for you....God will be able guide you the best, for this i am sure of....

The problem is we are always overseas, we just visit every year. The conflict started when we have decided to buy a house in the Philippines.. we have think about buying in the US but they did not agree as well.. She was the one holding my husband account for the last 2 years and I have never questioned it nor asked for it. Me and my husband has a good paying job so it does not really matter to know his finances as I have also my own savings as well.. She did not like the fact that we took her name out of my husband account.. My husband made his bank account joint under both our names this year.. She questioned all my intentions, she doubts our relationship, etc ... She provided wrong information just for us not to able to purchase the house.. Luckily his father help us to transfer some of the savings we have for the downpayment of the house..

When I went in the US by myself to attend the interview, as my husband and son were already in the Philippines for vacation..(Interview notice came unexpectedly, but it did not hinder our vacation in the Philippines) No one help or pick me up in the Airport.. I can understand my father in law is working that time and his other sister leave 8 hours away from Dallas, so I am not expecting any on them will pick me up in the airport. The only person that close by the airport is my sister monster in law that live in Dallas.. When I called her before coming to the US she told me that she will be in Austin and will not be able to pick me up.. But later on we find out that she did not leave. My husband was very worried and called me 3x a day while I was there.. I stayed with some folks that I have met wayback in college, saw them in friendster and emailed them if I can stay with them.. They did help me a lot, and never leave me on my entire stay in the US.. After my oath and interview, I went to the Philippines and followed and husband and my son.. He was really upset with his family, and even got drunk because he felt I was neglected by his family. and why other people can help me but his family cant... I told him dont worry about it as "we" as filipino will always find someone to help us.. He really felt bad of his family of what really happened..

Her and my husband were really close, my husband called her before than his mother or father..But everything is different now.. So i can sense that he is not happy with what is going on between him and her sister.. He is carrying a lot of burden in his heart and I dont like that.. He is a very happy person.. and I want him to be happy as always.. It does matter for me if we are in bad or good terms...but at least the relationship of my husband to his family will be intact..

[tedjen 0]

These things happen when siblings are very close then a sister/brother in law will come in the picture... Jealousy is the right word that his sister feels... She thinks that since you came to his brother's life suddenly things have changed... As you cited, her name in your husband's bank account took out and you became his joint, you bought new house and etc..

These things are pretty normal the only thing you can do is "stay" nice as long as she's not harming you and your relationship with your husband remains strong, that's fine...

Since thanksgiving is coming, maybe you can give her a present and short note (above letter is fine, I guess just put it on a card to be more intimate--don't email it)... Whatever will be her reaction that's fine, thing is you're ok and no heavy loads anymore Always remember that God blesses those who forgive... God bless:)

[Completely 3]

These things happen when siblings are very close then a sister/brother in law will come in the picture... Jealousy is the right word that his sister feels... She thinks that since you came to his brother's life suddenly things have changed... As you cited, her name in your husband's bank account took out and you became his joint, you bought new house and etc..

These things are pretty normal the only thing you can do is "stay" nice as long as she's not harming you and your relationship with your husband remains strong, that's fine...

Since thanksgiving is coming, maybe you can give her a present and short note (above letter is fine, I guess just put it on a card to be more intimate--don't email it)... Whatever will be her reaction that's fine, thing is you're ok and no heavy loads anymore Always remember that God blesses those who forgive... God bless:)

Thank you guys.. I just want to resolve the conflict between him and her..as I am the primary person involved.. I am not asking everyone in the family to like me.. but for the sake of my children and her brother , i hope she can move on. My husband actually does not want to go back in the US anymore.. and I am okay with that, since we are doing great here overseas.. But you know i want to remain his ties with his family.

[Ban Hammer 13,346]

it sounds like your sister in law needs a life.

[rmncm 0]

I can relate...I have disowned my sister. She could drop dead and I would dance and deficate on her grave. Its all over my wife also. She thinks she is just out for the magical greencard. The funny thing is she is married to a Mexican who was born in Mexico. How ironic is that! Good luck. Do what my wife is going to do...ignore her and live your life. Let your future actions show her and the world who and what you are.

[Completely 3]

Im not really affected though, I am just concerned with my husband.. Well you are right, I could go on and live my life and just ignore everything.. We live overseas anyways.. But I will never hold grudges as this is not healthy.

She thought I am after the greencard.. I never explained myself to anyone as for me, People can think everything they want to think.. I know myself, I am married to my husband we have kids, we are having a blessed life thats all that matters..

Thank you all.

it sounds like your sister in law needs a life.

mother hen I guess?