Stolen Papers

[Beautiful_years 0]

After I made my last post, it put me in mind to call and check the status of the phone.

He reactivated it, and he used my social security number to do it. He didn't take over the account fully, he just started racking up all new charges under my name. I closed the account immediately, and I had to use my credit card which means more debt for me. I put a security pass code on the account so he can't get into it himself from now on.

I don't know what this means now because the phone number he put down on the divorce papers was that number, which is now invalid. He can obtain an attorney if he wants to. He has copies of my financial records. Basically, I have assets and he does not. He is currently unemployed. I have no idea what he is planning to do and I am extremely worried now.

Sweetie, seems like he doesnt get it and your not fighting him makes him feel powerful or stupidly smart, i think its time you taught him a lesson, and if you didnt withdraw your affidavit of support, do it now, he can stay here all he wants and his new girlfriend can continue from where you stopped, do something about your ssn and documents he has access to cos there is no stopping the extent the guy would go for real, nows the time to show him hell has got no fury like that of a scorned wife!!!!

You've been nice enough, dont be a coward.

Poke him where it ll hurt, so his girlfriend would feel the rush of some adrenaline from him!!!!

I'm writting in small letters but i'm screaming inside.... ITS ABOUT TIME!

[TheZilla 0]

I haven't contacted anyone about the affidavit of support. I was told there was no way I could withdraw it without a lawyer so I didn't even try. I have called the USCIS helpline but it's just recordings as far as I can tell. I haven't gotten any clear information on how I would withdraw the affidavit.

I'm putting a fraud alert on my credit reports so I'll be informed if anyone tries to use my info to get a credit line, I'll have to do the same with my SSN I guess.

I have a number to call about identity theft, but I don't know if I'll have a leg to stand on. I called the cell phone company and they said they personally couldn't tell me where the call to reactivate the account originated. Basically, he reactivated it literally on the day that I personally deactivated it. He had to use the last four digits of my social to do so, but I am not sure if I can get any proof. I figured I would just call the Federal Trade Commission and see what they can tell me.

We're putting security pass codes on all the bank accounts he has information for or ever sent a wire transfer to.

I found a nearby program that charges $1 per minute for legal advice and help with forms. I'm going to see if I qualify for it.

I just feel physically ill.

[wowswift 3]

If he is using your SSN, sue him. If he goes to far, he is looking at jail time.

[sus 70]

For the fraud and use of your SSN - Start with filing a police report - Document it in writing. Also write to the cell phone company - ATTN Legal Dept - via certified mail - Tell them that the account was fraudulently reopened, demand that they repay you the charges incurred after the day that you closed it - A police report will back up your claims. If you don't get a response, file a complaint with the Attorney General Consumer Protection division - I work in the legal dept of a corporation - we get fraudulent account complaints all the time - all it takes is a police report, and it is corrected.

Whoever told you that you can't withdraw your affidavit of support might have incorrect info - It's worth a try, other people have done it -

I know that what you are going through is difficult and heart breaking - But it is up to you to make changes and be sure that you are safe and secure and protected. The squeaky wheel is always the one that gets the oil - the more noise you make, the more attention you will get and help with resolving your problems.

[Beautiful_years 0]

For the fraud and use of your SSN - Start with filing a police report - Document it in writing. Also write to the cell phone company - ATTN Legal Dept - via certified mail - Tell them that the account was fraudulently reopened, demand that they repay you the charges incurred after the day that you closed it - A police report will back up your claims. If you don't get a response, file a complaint with the Attorney General Consumer Protection division - I work in the legal dept of a corporation - we get fraudulent account complaints all the time - all it takes is a police report, and it is corrected.

Whoever told you that you can't withdraw your affidavit of support might have incorrect info - It's worth a try, other people have done it -

I know that what you are going through is difficult and heart breaking - But it is up to you to make changes and be sure that you are safe and secure and protected. The squeaky wheel is always the one that gets the oil - the more noise you make, the more attention you will get and help with resolving your problems.

I'm with you on this one, do what you can while you have the time and instead of just hanging on the automated calls for uscis book infopass and walk in to have it corrected.

These are the least things you can do without having him informed, withdraw your support before his AOS comes through because some people do get AOS without interview, the moment he gets his green card there is nothing you can do with regards to affidavit of support.

Do what you can now, while you can, its making me sick to the stomach!!

[TheZilla 0]

The ex contacted me after the above, and he seemed to think using my social was akin to using a password or something (not that it makes it right). He's been cooperating since he figured out it was illegal, keeping in touch on matters and when he can send money to cover the other bills. I chose not to contact the FTC.

Now I'm wondering if I'm a complete moron. We got a call from one of the credit card companies and charges of over a thousand dollars were attempted on a web site with my credit card number. They said someone will contact me about investigating fraud in a few days.

I am finding it hard to believe he would do it, it would be so utterly stupid if he did. He already knew I was suspicious, I told him about the use of my social being illegal and he knows I could report him, why the hell would he go and use my credit card number? It doesn't make sense to me but now I'm wondering if I've been a lenient idiot.

His parents know all of his actions and have taken my side through most of this because he hasn't been keeping in contact with them either. He quit school, and now is working some temp job. He said that he intends to leave before his VISA runs out in November of 2009. It seems like he's wanting to stick around to be with the girl. I don't know the girl, all I know is that she has a steady job so why would she have anything to do with credit card fraud? I'm thinking this is a weird coincidence.

I've thought about going ahead and contacting the FTC, but at the moment I'm holding off because my ex seems in line to pay what he owes, has been communicating promptly, and seems like he will cooperate to get the divorce done without dragging it out. Part of me thinks that no way did he pull the credit card thing, but now I keep wondering if I really am just some moron.

The credit card number used is now invalid, and I've contacted the holders of all my other credit cards, those accounts are now being monitored. I've never dealt with anyone using my card fraudulently before, I don't know how they go about finding the perpetrators or if they even do much of anything. If my ex DID do anything, they will figure it out right? I'm not responsible for the charges that were attempted and the ones that were successfully made.

I feel so entirely exhausted and tired of all of this, I feel like every time I turn around there is some new stress when all I want to do is focus on myself and move on. I've been trying to do the right things here, but now I regret not getting 'nastier' all this time because I am wondering if I've been too passive and set myself up to be victimized or something.

I have no idea how I'd withdraw the affidavit, and I have no idea if the FTC could even do anything at this point. He used my social # on November 3rd and he subsequently owned up to doing so (I have it in an email) so wouldn't they just think 'Simple misunderstanding"? I've secured my accounts left, right, and center.

I feel so angry because I do feel like he should have to suffer some kind of consequences for his actions, but I feel pretty powerless, like I just have to take what he dished out to me. I can't afford lawyers, and right now I don't know if I even have it in me to spend too much time on all these matters because I so wish for this all to be over. It does make me so angry though, he's treated me like utter garbage since the moment he left, in every way I can name.

He's just one of those people, his whole life he's been bailed out and has never had to face up to any wrongs he's done to anyone. He just seems to sail through life and nothing ever comes back on him. I feel it will eventually, I don't believe people can act that way and get through life forever with everything going peachy-keen. I just feel so frustrated, hurt, and angry.

[msu17 0]

He clearly is either immature and doesn't understand what he's doing is illegal and WRONG, or a complete sleeze who is still taking you for a ride. You need to protect yourself, not try and be nice. Put a fraud alert out for your SSN and credit cards and start police reports on the fradulant charges. He has access to all your information and clearly has no problem using that to your detriment. Protecting yourself and your credit needs to come #1. He's not playing nice, so you shouldn't either. Don't need to be mean, just smart.

[TheZilla 0]

I already put fraud alerts on my credit reports and so did my Mom as he had access to her information as well. I didn't call the SS office or anything as I thought putting the fraud alerts on my credit reports were enough, but perhaps Monday I will call Social Security and see.

I guess I will call the FTC and see if there is anyone there who could help me. I tried talking to an operator at AT&T about him reactivating the cell without my knowledge or permission, but they didn't seem like they could do anything to help. I talked to account operators though, I suppose I could see if they have a fraud department and see if they can assist me? Right now I don't know if there is any way to prove he did what he did save the email he wrote himself owning up to it.

I don't know yet what is going on with the credit card fraud, I haven't been contacted. I was told if I choose to go to the police, I need some kind of written proof and all sorts of stuff or else they won't help me at all. I don't know what I can do at the moment. I mean, why would he own up to using the social security number if he was going to commit credit card fraud?

He said he would be sending money soon to start covering the bills he left behind and now what I had to pay to close out the cell phone. Since he found out using the social was illegal, he seems to have been cooperating, but as of today I haven't seen a penny. It is so damn hard to know what to do because his actions have been so erratic and I don't know what to trust or believe at times.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I already put fraud alerts on my credit reports and so did my Mom as he had access to her information as well. I didn't call the SS office or anything as I thought putting the fraud alerts on my credit reports were enough, but perhaps Monday I will call Social Security and see.

I guess I will call the FTC and see if there is anyone there who could help me. I tried talking to an operator at AT&T about him reactivating the cell without my knowledge or permission, but they didn't seem like they could do anything to help. I talked to account operators though, I suppose I could see if they have a fraud department and see if they can assist me? Right now I don't know if there is any way to prove he did what he did save the email he wrote himself owning up to it.

I don't know yet what is going on with the credit card fraud, I haven't been contacted. I was told if I choose to go to the police, I need some kind of written proof and all sorts of stuff or else they won't help me at all. I don't know what I can do at the moment. I mean, why would he own up to using the social security number if he was going to commit credit card fraud?

He said he would be sending money soon to start covering the bills he left behind and now what I had to pay to close out the cell phone. Since he found out using the social was illegal, he seems to have been cooperating, but as of today I haven't seen a penny. It is so damn hard to know what to do because his actions have been so erratic and I don't know what to trust or believe at times.

the only thing you can do is file a police report. In order to do that, you need to stop telling him what you are doing. That police report can help you file a claim against his petition. It can be used to send to credit card companies and it can be used at the time of the divorce to protect yourself further. In order to protect yourself the best,you need to file it as well any other protective order you can. You have to remove yourself from speaking to him. With the police report you can indeed shut the account down. The stolen papers do in fact protect you because with the report you can prove that he took your things..Stop asking people about going to the police. Just call them and they can tell you what you can and cannot do. Just call them and talk to them at at least they can file an incident report so at a later date, you can refer back toi it. You cant trust anything he is doing. I also believe that because you are still in love with him that you are vascilating. You shouldnt be returning gifts . Who is paying for the postage??

I think you can approach them for help with the bills saying i dont want to have a police report to get things paid but I will if I dont get these paid because in order to stop the interest I need to have a report. You can state your situation and ask for them to send money to help pay off these things.

The biggest problem you have is that in order to remove yourself from this,you will have to do some uncomfortable things.Its so hard to step on your heart to do what you need to do. I had a relationship 5 years ago that I had to do alot of this and it hurts but if you start making a list of all that he has done, you will be able to do what you need to do

But unfortunately, calling the police and at least having THEM tell you they can do nothing about the theft of your papers or that they CAN contact him to get them back is appropriate. Call them today and make a report. You can always decline to prosecute. But stop telling him everything you are doing. You will never survive this unless you stop talking to him

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

The ex contacted me after the above, and he seemed to think using my social was akin to using a password or something (not that it makes it right). He's been cooperating since he figured out it was illegal, keeping in touch on matters and when he can send money to cover the other bills. I chose not to contact the FTC.

Now I'm wondering if I'm a complete moron. We got a call from one of the credit card companies and charges of over a thousand dollars were attempted on a web site with my credit card number. They said someone will contact me about investigating fraud in a few days.

I am finding it hard to believe he would do it, it would be so utterly stupid if he did. He already knew I was suspicious, I told him about the use of my social being illegal and he knows I could report him, why the hell would he go and use my credit card number? It doesn't make sense to me but now I'm wondering if I've been a lenient idiot.

His parents know all of his actions and have taken my side through most of this because he hasn't been keeping in contact with them either. He quit school, and now is working some temp job. He said that he intends to leave before his VISA runs out in November of 2009. It seems like he's wanting to stick around to be with the girl. I don't know the girl, all I know is that she has a steady job so why would she have anything to do with credit card fraud? I'm thinking this is a weird coincidence.

I've thought about going ahead and contacting the FTC, but at the moment I'm holding off because my ex seems in line to pay what he owes, has been communicating promptly, and seems like he will cooperate to get the divorce done without dragging it out. Part of me thinks that no way did he pull the credit card thing, but now I keep wondering if I really am just some moron.

The credit card number used is now invalid, and I've contacted the holders of all my other credit cards, those accounts are now being monitored. I've never dealt with anyone using my card fraudulently before, I don't know how they go about finding the perpetrators or if they even do much of anything. If my ex DID do anything, they will figure it out right? I'm not responsible for the charges that were attempted and the ones that were successfully made.

I feel so entirely exhausted and tired of all of this, I feel like every time I turn around there is some new stress when all I want to do is focus on myself and move on. I've been trying to do the right things here, but now I regret not getting 'nastier' all this time because I am wondering if I've been too passive and set myself up to be victimized or something.

I have no idea how I'd withdraw the affidavit, and I have no idea if the FTC could even do anything at this point. He used my social # on November 3rd and he subsequently owned up to doing so (I have it in an email) so wouldn't they just think 'Simple misunderstanding"? I've secured my accounts left, right, and center.

I feel so angry because I do feel like he should have to suffer some kind of consequences for his actions, but I feel pretty powerless, like I just have to take what he dished out to me. I can't afford lawyers, and right now I don't know if I even have it in me to spend too much time on all these matters because I so wish for this all to be over. It does make me so angry though, he's treated me like utter garbage since the moment he left, in every way I can name.

He's just one of those people, his whole life he's been bailed out and has never had to face up to any wrongs he's done to anyone. He just seems to sail through life and nothing ever comes back on him. I feel it will eventually, I don't believe people can act that way and get through life forever with everything going peachy-keen. I just feel so frustrated, hurt, and angry.

You need to pull your credit and look at your total debt and then see how many inquiries have been made. make an appt with CCCS . they are a united way agency in central florida. I work w credit and I can tell you how to fix it for almost free. 12 months later you wull have good enough credit to buy a house. They will freeze the interest on your accounts and creditors will cooperate with non profits. PM me and I will help u with who to contact

[sus 70]

I already put fraud alerts on my credit reports and so did my Mom as he had access to her information as well. I didn't call the SS office or anything as I thought putting the fraud alerts on my credit reports were enough, but perhaps Monday I will call Social Security and see.

I guess I will call the FTC and see if there is anyone there who could help me. I tried talking to an operator at AT&T about him reactivating the cell without my knowledge or permission, but they didn't seem like they could do anything to help. I talked to account operators though, I suppose I could see if they have a fraud department and see if they can assist me? Right now I don't know if there is any way to prove he did what he did save the email he wrote himself owning up to it.

I don't know yet what is going on with the credit card fraud, I haven't been contacted. I was told if I choose to go to the police, I need some kind of written proof and all sorts of stuff or else they won't help me at all. I don't know what I can do at the moment. I mean, why would he own up to using the social security number if he was going to commit credit card fraud?

He said he would be sending money soon to start covering the bills he left behind and now what I had to pay to close out the cell phone. Since he found out using the social was illegal, he seems to have been cooperating, but as of today I haven't seen a penny. It is so damn hard to know what to do because his actions have been so erratic and I don't know what to trust or believe at times.

Sweetie, I know it's hard and in your head you want to trust him - but he's going to tell you what you want to hear. You have to play hardball and stop being nice with him - He hasn't been nice with you - he left you and is with another woman.

Don't just talk to an operator at AT&T - Call the corporate office and ask for the legal department, or fax a letter to the legal department - The operator doesn't have the authority to resolve anything for you, you have to go to the top and work down.

Putting credit watches on your accounts is a good step = But he has your mom's info as well as your own? You have to take steps to protect yourself and your mother - Call the police, file a report - Calling Soc. Sec. isn't going to do you any good = you need to proceed with criminal charges.

[DanielParul 50]

Please send a letter to the USCIS to withdraw the affidavit of support and also explain what he's doing. I know its hard to think clearly right now, but you need to get proactive and stop him from harming you more.

There are things that you can do to protect yourself and a lot of posters have given you the right advice. This is the one thing you need to take care of right now. There will be time for healing later but there will be no time to protect yourself later

[Rob&Dawn 1]

I am so sorry that you are being put through all this, my heart goes t to you.

Regarding him using your SSN, despite him saying he didn't realise this was illegal he would have known. In the UK you can't just use someones NI number which is our equivalent of the SSN. Can ignorance really make him exempt from the law?

Don't let him just tell you what he thinks you want to hear to keep you off his back. I saw someone made a comment about the small claims court, would this be expensive? If you could get the money back off him to pay any outstanding debts it will make it easier for you to move on.

Unfortunately IMO because he has been always been financially supported by his parents he has done what he wants when he wants and unless you put your foot down he will do it too you at every opportunity.

Your credit card being used...i'm not a big believer in coincidence, and especially when all the other financial problems are happening. At least you have taken all possible steps to stop this happening again.

I hope that you get everything sorted out soon.

Take care x

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I second DanielParue's advice. You have two problems - the fraudulent use of your identification to obtain financial benefits - and the pending AOS with immigration. Think what happens if they approve his green card - you are on the hook for ensuring he does not become a public charge for at least 10 years if he chooses not to leave the country. He is telling you he is leaving the country - but he is also telling you he won't use your identification or accounts either - and he is. Send a letter to USCIS saying that you withdraw your affidavit of support and the relationship is no more. Then he will not be able to get his green card; he will not be able to stay in the US legally - and you will NOT be on the hook for his financial irresponsibility for at least the next 10 years. He has shown you can't trust him. Protect yourself now.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

If you are still married, and he did attempt to use the credit card, I am not so sure it is an automatic case of fraud. Was he using/commingling your resources while he was living with you? Technically, while you are STILL married, debt is joint debt, assets are joint assets until a judge declares you are divorced.

Are you sure your anger over his affair is not influencing your view?

I already put fraud alerts on my credit reports and so did my Mom as he had access to her information as well. I didn't call the SS office or anything as I thought putting the fraud alerts on my credit reports were enough, but perhaps Monday I will call Social Security and see.

I guess I will call the FTC and see if there is anyone there who could help me. I tried talking to an operator at AT&T about him reactivating the cell without my knowledge or permission, but they didn't seem like they could do anything to help. I talked to account operators though, I suppose I could see if they have a fraud department and see if they can assist me? Right now I don't know if there is any way to prove he did what he did save the email he wrote himself owning up to it.

I don't know yet what is going on with the credit card fraud, I haven't been contacted. I was told if I choose to go to the police, I need some kind of written proof and all sorts of stuff or else they won't help me at all. I don't know what I can do at the moment. I mean, why would he own up to using the social security number if he was going to commit credit card fraud?

He said he would be sending money soon to start covering the bills he left behind and now what I had to pay to close out the cell phone. Since he found out using the social was illegal, he seems to have been cooperating, but as of today I haven't seen a penny. It is so damn hard to know what to do because his actions have been so erratic and I don't know what to trust or believe at times.