what's wrong with getting married during the first trip?

[Nothing1234 2]

awww another nice peacefully quiet MENA Sunday...almost

It's still early here ...

[nomadicspirit 0]

WE ARE ALWAYS DISCUSSING THINGS VERY OPENLY? I HAVE EVEN SHARED WITH HER SOME INTIMATE SECRETS THAT EVEN MY FAMILY DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THEM. THERE WILL BE NO CALTURAL SHOCK AT LEAST NOT TO THE POINT YOU ARE MENTIONING. SHE IS NOT A CONVERT , SHE WAS BORN A MUSLIM AND SHE DESPITE THE FACT OF NEVER BEEN IN MOROCCO BEFORE , SHE IS FAMILIAR WITH THE CULTURAL AS SHE WAS ALWAYS SURROUNDED BY PEOPLE BELONGING TO THIS CULTURAL , SHE KNOWS ABOUT THE FOOD , THE CUSTOMS ,PEOPLE'S BEHAVIOURS ....ETC

SO I THINK WE HAVE NOTHING WEIRD IN MOROCCO BOTH SIDSES HAVE THEIR ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES.

SHE IS NOT STUPID , ON THE CONTRARLY SHE IS A VERY SMART PERSON , SHE KNOWS HER RIGHTS OF COURSE, WE HAVE DISCUSSED MANY TIMES THE MOROCCAN MARRIAGE CODE BY THE WAY HERE IS A LINK OF IT http://hrea.org/moudawana.html.

I LAUGHED WHEN YOU MENTIONED THE PRESENCE OF AN ATTOURNEY DURING THE MARRIAGE CONTRACT , COME ON WE ARE NOT ESTABLISHING A BUSINESS HERE PLUS WE ARE BOTH MUSLIMS AND WE ARE DOING IT THE ISLAMIC WAY , BOTH OF US KNOW THEIR RIGHTS AND OBLIGATIONS .

I HAVE NEVER PUSHED HER TO MAKE ANY DECISION ANYTIME WHEN THERE IS A PROBLEM WE ARE JUST THERE FOR TO SUPPORT EACHOTHER , NO ONE PUSHES EACHOTHER OR TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OTHER AS WE DO JUST MAKE A BALANCE FOR EACHOTHER.

[brnidokiegurl 0]

again discussing thru a computer 1000s of miles apart is not the same as being in the same room and haveing that same disagreement, coming here will be a shock to most anyone fr anywhere as would be for us to go there. You go ahead and do as you feel you must come back in a year and let us know how things are.

[nunyab 0]

was he yelling or was that me? caps make it seems you're yelling btw... I am sure your finace' is very smart and mashallah she is already a muslimah so that helps immensly.

You asked and people have given their input don't be mad just realize we are all human and have our beliefs as you do yours.

May Allah be with you. You might want to look at everyone's time line btw and alot of us have experience and just want to help when we can.

[sereia 0]

I grew up knowing about MENA food, music, customs, etc and it sure didn't help my husband's culture shock ANY less than anyone else. Why? Because HE moved HERE. Not me moving to Morocco. YOU are moving to America. Did you grow up knowing all about American culture and customs other than t-shirts, jeans, Tupac, and MBC2? haha

You are the one that's going to be in shock, not her. lol

Edited October 26, 2008 by sereia

[Nothing1234 2]

I grew up knowing about MENA food, music, customs, etc and it sure didn't help my husband's culture shock ANY less than anyone else. Why? Because HE moved HERE. Not me moving to Morocco. YOU are moving to America. Did you grow up knowing all about American culture and customs other than t-shirts, jeans, Tupac, and MBC2? haha

You are the one that's going to be in shock, not her. lol

I agree...no matter what contact you have with the Western culture (TV, friends, etc) there is nothing like moving to this country and having to learn our culture/customs. I don't know of one person that has not had some kind of shock from moving here...even those from similar cultures as the US experience some sort of shock/readjustment period.

[sereia 0]

[star_dragon 0]

Happy Halloween!

[nomadicspirit 0]

if you are considering t-shirts, jeans, Tupac, and MBC2 or even a coca cola to be a culture then i am impressed .

i 've lived abroad for some time and was surronded with american people. i talked to them and know about their behaviour they are just humain beings nothing weird about them.

All culture that Americans have is derived one way or another from european culture. Except of course if you take into account the culture of the native Americans, i.e. indians. But i'm quite sure that's not what you yankees are after. Sure, you guys have developed some properties over time that may look like some sort of culture, when hamburgers or food are taken into account ;-P

You have decently managed to completely #### over the lovely British language you inhereted. That's raping culture not cultivating it

Further something that is truely all American is hiphop or rapmusic and the gang-related scene alongside, unique in the world, since music really is a part of a nations culture. The positiver aspect of course is jazz music, even though that is a mixture of African and European styles. Still just history, not culture, perhaps it wil be in due time.lol

gimme a break sereia

i am sorry if i said something that might caused restlsness or burdom , i didn't mean to

just in case you forgot i was just defending myself

[star_dragon 0]

[Nothing1234 2]

if you are considering t-shirts, jeans, Tupac, and MBC2 or even a coca cola to be a culture then i am impressed .

i 've lived abroad for some time and was surronded with american people. i talked to them and know about their behaviour they are just humain beings nothing weird about them.

All culture that Americans have is derived one way or another from european culture. Except of course if you take into account the culture of the native Americans, i.e. indians. But i'm quite sure that's not what you yankees are after. Sure, you guys have developed some properties over time that may look like some sort of culture, when hamburgers or food are taken into account ;-P

You have decently managed to completely #### over the lovely British language you inhereted. That's raping culture not cultivating it

Further something that is truely all American is hiphop or rapmusic and the gang-related scene alongside, unique in the world, since music really is a part of a nations culture. The positiver aspect of course is jazz music, even though that is a mixture of African and European styles. Still just history, not culture, perhaps it wil be in due time.lol

gimme a break sereia

i am sorry if i said something that might caused restlsness or burdom , i didn't mean to

just in case you forgot i was just defending myself

Why are you coming here? The America you paint and believe in sounds like a pretty sh*tty place to me if I believed what you do.

Defending yourself from what? People gave you their advice from our experiences w/ our loved ones. America is a melting pot...it is what it is take it or leave it. Yes, we are a new country but I'm damn proud that I'm an American and that I have all the wonderful opportunities I have had my entire life, that I can give those to my children and to my husband now as well. I think if you think we are culture-less and without merit...don't come here. Stay where you are and reap the opportunities that your country gave you.

I swear I'm not being mean ... just stating a fact. If its so wonderful were you are, stay, build a life and help your countries culture and economy thrive because you and your wife cared enough to stay.

Best of luck in your journey.

Edited October 26, 2008 by Nawal

[sereia 0]

You sure have an educated opinion on the American culture!

[brnidokiegurl 0]

American culture in say Paris, Germany whereever do u really think u saw the real thing???

[Krissy! 0]

*sighs*

I'm a firm believer of : "Don't believe what you hear. Experience for yourself."

So please don't base your opinion of different cultures on what you *hear* even if it comes from an American's mouth. Every person experiences different things. Maybe you'll like it. Maybe you won't. But don't be so biased already especially if you have not actually spent time on the soil of the U.S.A.

No one was forcing their opinions on anyone else. It's just expressing and sharing. You take it or leave it, simple.

[caybee 21]

As similar as our culture may be in some ways to the UK and Canada, if you visit those regional forums and the Moving Here forum, you will find plenty of examples of culture shock, and in some instances the issues seem more complicated because the couple truly wasn't expecting them. I visited my sister in the UK for a couple of weeks some years back, and even in that two-week period there were a few things I realized I'd have difficulty adjusting to if I were to live there for an extended period.

As far as advice about marrying on the first trip goes, you asked, and people answered based on their own experiences. Maybe you got more information than you wanted; maybe you aren't concerned with any advice beyond getting the visa, and that's fine, but it's difficult to give half an opinion. When answers seem a little harsh, please take into account that we often play devil's advocate here and try to think like a CO might. Our opinions have nothing to do with landing you that visa, but the CO's do, and Casa is a notoriously unpredictable consulate.

I can't think of a single person currently in the MENA forum who is likely to bear you any ill will. We know this journey. Some have suffered through it longer than others. We want to see others get through it smoothly, and we rejoice with them when they do. At the same time, in the 2+ years I've hung around here, I've watched close to a dozen heartbreaking endings in this forum alone, and most hinged on unrealistic expectations of one or both partners, some of whom never saw it coming. Add to that the couples who seemed prepared to sail through the consulate only to find their journey derailed for a year or more, and you may understand that any warnings you may receive are based in part on what we've seen our friends go through here and the desire to help someone beginning their own journey avoid similar pitfalls.

Best wishes to you and your fiancee in whatever path you choose to take.