Need clarification on something, regarding...PORK!

[Imua 0]

Just try marrying a Hindu vegetarian who has never eaten ANY meat whatsoever in his life!!!!

Before you jump on me I will say I have been off and on vegetarian for many years before marriage, gave up beef about 10 years ago, then pork, then chicken, then fish... I did relapse last year when I had a horrible Giardia attack, felt so weak and once had some chicken thinking it might make me feel stronger, otherwise no meat or fish for the past 2 years.

It is so difficult sometimes, I will never admit to my husband but I miss fried chicken, teriyaki burgers, McD's sausage biscuits, kalua pork and poi, spam musubi.... I am from Hawaii and the basic food groups are meat and rice - macaroni salad is a 'vegetable'... It is hard but really more healthy to give up that stuff even if paneer makhani, rice pulau and naan isn't really much better....

Edited October 24, 2008 by Pattu Rani

[JeanneVictoria 55]

Being a vegetarian I don't have to worry about cooking, buying or eating pork! I cook mainly

Italian or American dishes which consists of mainly vegetables. However I do cook meat for

Wael but no pork. I respect what he can and cannot eat. Yes there are many products

that can replace pork and I do use them with no problem!! Wael loves anything I cook!

[morocco4ever 63]

I am surprised that these things weren't discussed in advance. Pork is forbidden, yes. I can't say I know for sure the exact reason, but pigs are viewed as very dirty animals in Islam. I knew this before I married my husband, and it made no difference because I had stopped eating pork before I met him. Not for the same reason, but because I think it tastes nasty. So this is not an issue for us. Even if I did eat pork this is one of those things that wouldn't be a big deal to me, so I would have given on this one.

As for swimming around men, well he has a lot to learn about America. So are you willing to give up swimming altogether? My husband didn't want this either, but he had to give in since he likes swimming. I wear a modest suit, but I would have anyway. We had a swimming pool put in this last summer, so all is even better. Now he doesn't have to stress about men looking (yeah right) and I don't have to prepare the day around going to the pool (the real reason I wanted it). But we still want to go to the water slides at times, so its just something that is going to happen whether he likes it or not.

What about holidays? This was the big issue for me. Are you willing to give up on Christmas if he expects you to?

You two had better spend some time reflecting on your expectations of each other now. He can't expect you to change, and he can't expect the culture to adjust to him. You two need to figure this out now so that when he comes there are less surprises for both of you. You both have things you can and cannot live with. There are some things I am willing to change, but there are other issues that I am not. This should have been discussed earlier, but since it wasn't, and you are already married, you owe it to yourselves and each other to work it out.

[Ban Hammer 13,110]

it's like drugs - don't do it!

[SimoAndYvette 0]

WOW! Let's not go there!

1. This is MY husband you are speaking of...you do not know him, so back it up a bit.

2. He has asked very little of ME, compared to what he is sacrificing, in order to have a life with me.

Let's stay on topic.....I asked for details on what the taboo is on pork, so I can understand it better...to determine what decision I should make that is best for OUR marriage.

Any meat, not just pork can contain parasites, fat, etc. So can vegetables or anything else for that matter.

I think it's kind of silly to follow every little thing in a book written by men 1000yrs ago.

My SO and all his Iranian friends like pork. As soon as they get out of Iran the first things they want to do is whatever is forbidden in Iran. So whenever they visit I have to stock up on booze and pork and make sure we go bar hopping and to rock concerts.

Me personally, I'm not and never will be muslim but I still don't like the taste of pork. It's ok in sausage but pork chops make me want to gag. I think the look/texture of pork resembles people flesh too much.

And I don't think you should have to give up anything just because of your husband. Is he an insecure child? He's choosing to marry an American and move to the states so it is his responsibility to adapt to a new country and culture. If you start giving up one, two or three things you like now, then he will expect you to give up 20 things and before you know it your whole identity/personality is gone. If it's a muslim from his own country he wanted then that's what he should have married. I will never understand these girls that sacrifice their whole identity for a controlling little fraction of a man.

[SimoAndYvette 0]

Thank You! You answered exactly what I was asking.....

I have always known he was not going to ever eat pork....NO problem.

All of my family is aware, that for family gatherings...NO pork and again...NO problem.

The original agreement was, I would prepare two different things, if one of the items contained pork (different pans, the whole thing)...again, NO problem.

I think his issue is he has been thinking about it now.....and it is making him have anxiety, he has never been around it, and thinks possibly, I have it daily (not even close).

Yes! I have found a halal market, did that one months ago. I will be shopping there.

Thank you MrsAmera! Spot on!

There are numerous things that contain pork products - you really have to read everything. This was something my husband and I were very clear on but more importantly my family was clear with. I too grew up eating lots and lots of pork and my family still does, but they understand that we do not and now for the most part respect that. This is especially important with what they do or do not give to our children. My oldest know knows that he shouldn't eat pork but of course the 2 yr has no clue. As for how you deal with it, well you just do. There are plenty of substitutes for most things, be it chicken, turkey or beef or tofu. I agree that not all of it tastes the same as the real thing but I guess that's just a sacrifice. (P.S. Trader Joe's has tofu chorizo that is pretty spot on - except is the crumbly kind). You may also want to find out if your husband will require to eat only halal meat (i.e. not your run of the mill meat products) because this can also be a big issue if you don't live near any halal stores.

[Sandrila 1]

Good topic

my husband has already made it clear about Pork and Halal meat

I have been an on/off vegetarian for years and when I met my husband I had been a vegetarian (not vegan) for over 2 years

once there and his mother had meat for our meal, it was hard to explain why I couldnt eat it, quite frankly I missed it too.

I dont mind eating Pork, so tasty however if you ever got to know the FACTS about how our meat is raised and injected with so much GUNK and then slaughtered, well, I think alot of people would be turned off

My husband thinks MEAT has "vitamins and nutrients" that are essential (i feel you can just as easily from other natural sources if you are diligent enough) Me being vegetarian doesnt bother him nor would I feel put out cooking meals with meat in it.

In reference to Pork, specifically, I think to myself once he comes I am going to "try" to introduce some Pork to him cuz I think he will like it so much, however, I dont bet on him "trying" it, after what has been ingrained in him all his life, I doubt for any reason he will deviate

we do have Halal markets here so I would oblige him in that area and quite frankly I dont feel I am missing much if I dont have pork there are too many other MEATY options out there

I am not Muslim, and dont plan to convert. I am just learning and respecting. I am not going to FORCE anything on him once he comes, if he is curious and feels comfortable with experimenting outside his "norm' so be it, but I venture to say his beliefs and what GOD says is #1!

[Tunisia216 2]

My husband and I are both Muslim, so no pork for us and I think that you already had your questions answered as to the 'taboo' of pork as you stated, but I just had to say Kel, wow I never saw that pork chop and coke video and I'm sick at work now! I'm feeling really glad that we don't eat pork, but I just had to go and show that to all of my co workers. Does anyone know, are those really maggots? Or is it some kind of fat coming to the surface of the meat?

[Sandrila 1]

Good topic

my husband has already made it clear about Pork and Halal meat

I have been an on/off vegetarian for years and when I met my husband I had been a vegetarian (not vegan) for over 2 years

once there and his mother had meat for our meal, it was hard to explain why I couldnt eat it, quite frankly I missed it too.

I dont mind eating Pork, so tasty however if you ever got to know the FACTS about how our meat is raised and injected with so much GUNK and then slaughtered, well, I think alot of people would be turned off

My husband thinks MEAT has "vitamins and nutrients" that are essential (i feel you can just as easily from other natural sources if you are diligent enough) Me being vegetarian doesnt bother him nor would I feel put out cooking meals with meat in it.

In reference to Pork, specifically, I think to myself once he comes I am going to "try" to introduce some Pork to him cuz I think he will like it so much, however, I dont bet on him "trying" it, after what has been ingrained in him all his life, I doubt for any reason he will deviate

we do have Halal markets here so I would oblige him in that area and quite frankly I dont feel I am missing much if I dont have pork there are too many other MEATY options out there

I am not Muslim, and dont plan to convert. I am just learning and respecting. I am not going to FORCE anything on him once he comes, if he is curious and feels comfortable with experimenting outside his "norm' so be it, but I venture to say his beliefs and what GOD says is #1!

btw...can anyone really verify what causes these "man boobies" ? I think better to say their genetics rather than what they eat...genetics and weight could be major reasons this can occur, right?

[Sandrila 1]

I am surprised that these things weren't discussed in advance. Pork is forbidden, yes. I can't say I know for sure the exact reason, but pigs are viewed as very dirty animals in Islam. I knew this before I married my husband, and it made no difference because I had stopped eating pork before I met him. Not for the same reason, but because I think it tastes nasty. So this is not an issue for us. Even if I did eat pork this is one of those things that wouldn't be a big deal to me, so I would have given on this one.

As for swimming around men, well he has a lot to learn about America. So are you willing to give up swimming altogether? My husband didn't want this either, but he had to give in since he likes swimming. I wear a modest suit, but I would have anyway. We had a swimming pool put in this last summer, so all is even better. Now he doesn't have to stress about men looking (yeah right) and I don't have to prepare the day around going to the pool (the real reason I wanted it). But we still want to go to the water slides at times, so its just something that is going to happen whether he likes it or not.

What about holidays? This was the big issue for me. Are you willing to give up on Christmas if he expects you to?

You two had better spend some time reflecting on your expectations of each other now. He can't expect you to change, and he can't expect the culture to adjust to him. You two need to figure this out now so that when he comes there are less surprises for both of you. You both have things you can and cannot live with. There are some things I am willing to change, but there are other issues that I am not. This should have been discussed earlier, but since it wasn't, and you are already married, you owe it to yourselves and each other to work it out.

what about someone who had NO inclination at all about Islam before falling in love?

We all know the longer you are with someone the more you learn about them, their religion and culture

[Mommy2ZaidnSalma 11]

Sandrilla? You would want your husband to try pork??? Why would you want him to try something he clearly is against?

[AlHayatZween 2]

I am surprised that these things weren't discussed in advance. Pork is forbidden, yes. I can't say I know for sure the exact reason, but pigs are viewed as very dirty animals in Islam. I knew this before I married my husband, and it made no difference because I had stopped eating pork before I met him. Not for the same reason, but because I think it tastes nasty. So this is not an issue for us. Even if I did eat pork this is one of those things that wouldn't be a big deal to me, so I would have given on this one.

Hi Yvette,

So others have already mentioned that pork is haraam and specifically mentioned in the Qur'an...

Me, too, M4E, i can't say for sure what the exact reason is... i feel like this is something i should know!!

My guess is that pork was forbidden under Moses's laws much, much earlier... in the Torah and Old Testament.

Pigs are bottom-feeders and will eat garbage and their own feces... You can get really sick (and perhaps in some instances in ancient times die) from it not being cooked properly...

i would guess that the religious law stems somehow from these practical facts...

As for you giving it up... totally your decision...

Take your time and decide what's right for you.

Edited October 24, 2008 by AlHayatZween

[SimoAndYvette 0]

We have discussed all of this many times.....I really think the pork thing is an image in his mind (like I am eating it all day...everyday). I have substituted almost everything for Turkey .. i.e. turkey bacon, turkey ham, turkey sausage, etc... He has always known it was a major staple in our diet, due to my culture. Last night, he only asked, that is all.

The swimming part, he really is not budging on that one; he actually researched and found a public swimming pool that has swimming for women and children...and he also is wanting to put a pool in the back yard for me.

He is partaking in the holidays with me and the family.....as far as the family gathering. We have meshed everything together very well so far......We have gone through so many topics, determined which one of us will change, or alter, or accomadate the other - or do we just incorporate it into our marriage.

Thanks!

Yvette

I am surprised that these things weren't discussed in advance. Pork is forbidden, yes. I can't say I know for sure the exact reason, but pigs are viewed as very dirty animals in Islam. I knew this before I married my husband, and it made no difference because I had stopped eating pork before I met him. Not for the same reason, but because I think it tastes nasty. So this is not an issue for us. Even if I did eat pork this is one of those things that wouldn't be a big deal to me, so I would have given on this one.

As for swimming around men, well he has a lot to learn about America. So are you willing to give up swimming altogether? My husband didn't want this either, but he had to give in since he likes swimming. I wear a modest suit, but I would have anyway. We had a swimming pool put in this last summer, so all is even better. Now he doesn't have to stress about men looking (yeah right) and I don't have to prepare the day around going to the pool (the real reason I wanted it). But we still want to go to the water slides at times, so its just something that is going to happen whether he likes it or not.

What about holidays? This was the big issue for me. Are you willing to give up on Christmas if he expects you to?

You two had better spend some time reflecting on your expectations of each other now. He can't expect you to change, and he can't expect the culture to adjust to him. You two need to figure this out now so that when he comes there are less surprises for both of you. You both have things you can and cannot live with. There are some things I am willing to change, but there are other issues that I am not. This should have been discussed earlier, but since it wasn't, and you are already married, you owe it to yourselves and each other to work it out.

[AlHayatZween 2]

and he also is wanting to put a pool in the back yard for me.

well, hey if you get a swimming pool out of the deal that is way cool!

[SimoAndYvette 0]

THANK YOU SANDRILA!!

That is exactly what Simo and I do, as well.......when I think of the things I have eaten in Morocco...to just "try" it as you say..

He and I have the same philosophy...we see what works for us, try it, if it does...GREAT! IF not, we alter the plan...no big deal!

My biggest thing in this was just wanting facts on WHY it is wrong....so I can weigh the options to make my decision...absolutely that simple!

THANKS AGAIN!

Good topic

my husband has already made it clear about Pork and Halal meat

I have been an on/off vegetarian for years and when I met my husband I had been a vegetarian (not vegan) for over 2 years

once there and his mother had meat for our meal, it was hard to explain why I couldnt eat it, quite frankly I missed it too.

I dont mind eating Pork, so tasty however if you ever got to know the FACTS about how our meat is raised and injected with so much GUNK and then slaughtered, well, I think alot of people would be turned off

My husband thinks MEAT has "vitamins and nutrients" that are essential (i feel you can just as easily from other natural sources if you are diligent enough) Me being vegetarian doesnt bother him nor would I feel put out cooking meals with meat in it.

In reference to Pork, specifically, I think to myself once he comes I am going to "try" to introduce some Pork to him cuz I think he will like it so much, however, I dont bet on him "trying" it, after what has been ingrained in him all his life, I doubt for any reason he will deviate

we do have Halal markets here so I would oblige him in that area and quite frankly I dont feel I am missing much if I dont have pork there are too many other MEATY options out there

I am not Muslim, and dont plan to convert. I am just learning and respecting. I am not going to FORCE anything on him once he comes, if he is curious and feels comfortable with experimenting outside his "norm' so be it, but I venture to say his beliefs and what GOD says is #1!