Third K1 Visa

[Nasturtium 500]

I totally agree that her comments were inappropriate, I was merely offering another perspective. Sorry, but it's not a matter of hiding behind MENA. People, even here in the USA, have differing values.

Also RJ and LaL are right-- photo theft from MENA happens and it's never a good thing.

Oh, I do understand about cultural values. I was not aware of the photo thing.

I don't think photo theft is limited to only MENA folk. I do understand that info posted on the Internet can stay there forever; that's why no one will ever see some of the other photos I have of my hot RW.

This was more taking photos, timelines from VJ, and then using those sole items to talk about how the MENA guy was a terrorist and the girl was a fat idiot. The website is not to be mentioned here or else we could say what it was. It's still up though, even after 3 years.

[Old Dominion 26]

This is all interesting, and a subject worth pursuing, but it is now so far off the track started by the OP. Maybe some organizer can switch all this to a new subject heading.

It's still unnerving to observe that posters are judging Steve's pursuit so harshly because of age differences. He hasn't updated us yet on what progress he has made in finding "the one." Obviously, he is approaching middle age and in the present economy, certainly can't be regarded as high-salaried. His spouse would need to work for them to be able to afford a middle-class lifestyle and two cars, let alone any children. The younger an immigrating woman is, the easier it is to find a job at entry level.

Who cares if she is carded when buying a drink? Geesh, to ask a wife to wear makeup for only this reason seems inappropriate and sexist.

[toma1 10]

I totally agree that her comments were inappropriate, I was merely offering another perspective.

There are several people here that have difficulty with anyone mentioning that Americans (of both genders) are seriously overweight--I've seen studies that put the number at around 70%--and resort to personally attacking anyone that mentions the issue. I suppose the topic is hitting too close to home for some.

Where did the photos end up?

[toma1 10]

This was more taking photos, timelines from VJ, and then using those sole items to talk about how the MENA guy was a terrorist and the girl was a fat idiot. The website is not to be mentioned here or else we could say what it was. It's still up though, even after 3 years.

Ah.. never mind. I see you already answered the question.

[Donna A 4]

I totally agree that her comments were inappropriate, I was merely offering another perspective.

There are several people here that have difficulty with anyone mentioning that Americans (of both genders) are seriously overweight--I've seen studies that put the number at around 70%--and resort to personally attacking anyone that mentions the issue. I suppose the topic is hitting too close to home for some.

Where did the photos end up?

i remember when it happened, but i think we are not supose to bring it up again if i remember correctly.

[toma1 10]

I totally agree that her comments were inappropriate, I was merely offering another perspective.

There are several people here that have difficulty with anyone mentioning that Americans (of both genders) are seriously overweight--I've seen studies that put the number at around 70%--and resort to personally attacking anyone that mentions the issue. I suppose the topic is hitting too close to home for some.

Where did the photos end up?

i remember when it happened, but i think we are not supose to bring it up again if i remember correctly.

Actually it turns out that the site in question is easily Google-able, but I saw an interesting article about this very issue at the Center for Immigration Studies. I assume it's not an unmentionable article, because no photos are included and the source is reputable.

http://www.cis.org/articles/2005/kephart.html

Edited October 24, 2009 by toma1

[Donna A 4]

nope thats not it.

[toma1 10]

nope thats not it.

I know that's not it--it's just an academically oriented article on said topic--and thankfully no one can blame an American MAN for the site that IS it.

[Nasturtium 500]

I totally agree that her comments were inappropriate, I was merely offering another perspective.

There are several people here that have difficulty with anyone mentioning that Americans (of both genders) are seriously overweight--I've seen studies that put the number at around 70%--and resort to personally attacking anyone that mentions the issue. I suppose the topic is hitting too close to home for some.

Where did the photos end up?

Actually, I think their problem is with the idea the blanket statement that American women (which, when phrased that way doesn't mean most, it means all) are overweight, lazy, nasty, materialistic, etc. and that women from another country (which again means all in its phrasing) are X, Y, and Z and in short, awesome. This statement is also usually paired with some blatant feelings/statements of superiority on the male part, never acknowledging that the men themselves may also be this way... This is done in a disparaging way with no purpose other than to put American women down-- it's not a discussion with any other point such as health or an acknowledgement of the fact that the entire American population of males and females is actually 70% overweight.

The two you mentioned are neither fat nor materialistic, and one isn't even a USC. They have a problem with the blanket statement I mentioned. It's basically the attitude found on nomarriage.com, which is truly a funny site filled with an amazing ammount of hippocracy... my most favorite link in the world is their article on how they feel 98% (if i remember correctly, it's been about 9 months since I was on there) of American women suffer from narcissistic personality disorder and then the author proceeds to fall into the very signs he accuses the women of...

And yes, you did find the site.

[toma1 10]

Actually, I think their problem is with the idea the blanket statement that American women (which, when phrased that way doesn't mean most, it means all) are overweight, lazy, nasty, materialistic, etc. and that women from another country (which again means all in its phrasing) are X, Y, and Z and in short, awesome. This statement is also usually paired with some blatant feelings/statements of superiority on the male part, never acknowledging that the men themselves may also be this way... This is done in a disparaging way with no purpose other than to put American women down-- it's not a discussion with any other point such as health or an acknowledgement of the fact that the entire American population of males and females is actually 70% overweight.

The two you mentioned are neither fat nor materialistic, and one isn't even a USC.

1. I didn't she was a USC. I said "several people here".

2. I didn't say "American women"; I said Americans. You assumed that I only meant women--I didn't. I have no idea where the other adjectives came from. Perhaps you are referring to someone else.

3. One of the posters to which you refer went immediately to another forum and said that I called American women ugly. I think and always have thought that MANY overweight people are pretty/handsome. Since I never used the term ugly in regard to Americans, let alone American women, it must be the other poster that equates the two--at least subconsciously. Perhaps your indignance is misdirected.

[Nasturtium 500]

Actually, I think their problem is with the idea the blanket statement that American women (which, when phrased that way doesn't mean most, it means all) are overweight, lazy, nasty, materialistic, etc. and that women from another country (which again means all in its phrasing) are X, Y, and Z and in short, awesome. This statement is also usually paired with some blatant feelings/statements of superiority on the male part, never acknowledging that the men themselves may also be this way... This is done in a disparaging way with no purpose other than to put American women down-- it's not a discussion with any other point such as health or an acknowledgement of the fact that the entire American population of males and females is actually 70% overweight.

The two you mentioned are neither fat nor materialistic, and one isn't even a USC.

1. I didn't she was a USC. I said "several people here".

2. I didn't say "American women"; I said Americans. You assumed that I only meant women--I didn't. I have no idea where the other adjectives came from. Perhaps you are referring to someone else.

3. One of the posters to which you refer went immediately to another forum and said that I called American women ugly. I think and always have thought that MANY overweight people are pretty/handsome. Since I never used the term ugly in regard to Americans, let alone American women, it must be the other poster that equates the two--at least subconsciously. Perhaps your indignance is misdirected.

Hmmm. Am not indignant and actually don't know what you are talking about? Didn't write anything about you other than my last sentence where I was mentioning that the two posters I saw mentioned in one of your posts are not particularly materialistic and one isn't a USC. I wasn't saying you said the above, but rather that that is the attitude that has been posted here on VJ before that riled them up before, and it has been in this thread (although this thread isn't really particularly full of it) and is definately on that site I mentioned linked in another poster's siggy. This is not a particularly hot-button issue for me. I never accused you of anything. I came on in response to Baron, with whom I mostly agree and who I also thought was kind of attacked, and just added the photo aside just as an FYI and nothing more (which he took to be hiding behind MENA cultural values if I read that correctly).

I was merely offering a possible explanation. No need to take an affront to an observation. I'm personally glad we all aren't into the same things, or else I would have to share my camel-duties and fanning/grape-peeling with other people and I like to be the only slave-wife my husband purchased with the goat and chickens.

Honestly, I wouldn't pay attention to the looks you get either-- people think Ammar is maybe 10-15 years older than I am sometimes, but he's not and so I don't care what they particularly think-- they don't influence my life. This is why things like the article you posted (which I read, btw, great stats source) don't feel like an affront to me either. It didn't apply to me other than when we were trying to do visa stuff our time was longer because Jordan/MENA are high-fraud (as is a lot of the Asian countries). yeah, stuff happens. I am secure in my relationship though, so it doesn't create any insecurities for me to read something like that or defensiveness.

[steve55 0]

if a third world country woman want to come to america to upgrade their life its ok but if an american woman wants a rich man to upgrade hers, she is materialistic. its all the same but american woman are degraded for it.

There's a difference dear. First of all, most foreign ladies dont choose to marry a foreign man because of economics.The USCIS study I posted PROVES that as does what I have learned on my own thorugh getting to personally know latin and especially filipinas in particular.

Most (not all) American woman insist on upgrading to what Id call high maintenance/true materialistic type items, i.e. new cars, big house, many vacations, wining and dining ,shopping for the nicest brand name clothes etc etc. IN fact, they look at the man's money before most anything else. Foreign ladies (Most foreign latinas ans asians, not so sure about europeans) on the other hand dont require any of these things. Most non western Foreign ladies (latino and asian) only want a responsible hard working man who will make a good father and husband, NOTHING MORE! This will get you absolutely no where with most western/American woman.

Hence is the difference!

[steve55 0]

Actually, I think their problem is with the idea the blanket statement that American women (which, when phrased that way doesn't mean most, it means all) are overweight, lazy, nasty, materialistic, etc. and that women from another country (which again means all in its phrasing) are X, Y, and Z and in short, awesome. This statement is also usually paired with some blatant feelings/statements of superiority on the male part, never acknowledging that the men themselves may also be this way... This is done in a disparaging way with no purpose other than to put American women down-- it's not a discussion with any other point such as health or an acknowledgement of the fact that the entire American population of males and females is actually 70% overweight.

NUMEROUS and NUMEROUS and NUMEROUS times I have clarified that NOT ALL American woman are overweight and materialistic. And I have mentioned the men are also overweight as much as the woman. I even posted the 70% statistic, heck, I was the FIRST one to post that stat!! So I admit that 30% are not, but once you get into woman in their 30's and exclude the 18 to 30 age range, I believe you get about a 85% overwight stat. It really is tough to find think 30-37 yr olds, really tough. The ones that arent overewight are considered hot merely because they arent overweight hence they are highly sought after (IMHO) . ANyways, you have simply forgotten Ive said all these things. But it's ok, I know its a super long thread and easy to miss it.

Edited October 25, 2009 by steve55

[toma1 10]

Hmmm. Am not indignant and actually don't know what you are talking about? Didn't write anything about you other than my last sentence where I was mentioning that the two posters I saw mentioned in one of your posts are not particularly materialistic and one isn't a USC. I wasn't saying you said the above, but rather that that is the attitude that has been posted here on VJ before that riled them up before, and it has been in this thread (although this thread isn't really particularly full of it) and is definately on that site I mentioned linked in another poster's siggy. This is not a particularly hot-button issue for me. I never accused you of anything. I came on in response to Baron, with whom I mostly agree and who I also thought was kind of attacked, and just added the photo aside just as an FYI and nothing more (which he took to be hiding behind MENA cultural values if I read that correctly).

I was merely offering a possible explanation. No need to take an affront to an observation. I'm personally glad we all aren't into the same things, or else I would have to share my camel-duties and fanning/grape-peeling with other people and I like to be the only slave-wife my husband purchased with the goat and chickens.

Honestly, I wouldn't pay attention to the looks you get either-- people think Ammar is maybe 10-15 years older than I am sometimes, but he's not and so I don't care what they particularly think-- they don't influence my life. This is why things like the article you posted (which I read, btw, great stats source) don't feel like an affront to me either. It didn't apply to me other than when we were trying to do visa stuff our time was longer because Jordan/MENA are high-fraud (as is a lot of the Asian countries). yeah, stuff happens. I am secure in my relationship though, so it doesn't create any insecurities for me to read something like that or defensiveness.

You quoted my statement, so I assumed that you were referring to me.

We don't really care either THAT much, but there is a difference in our situations. I very much appreciate that you didn't notice from our photo, but we DO have a 15 year age difference in reality; and I'm not sure that I really want it to look like a 25+ year difference...

Fortunately Thailand is not on the high fraud list which I saw posted here earlier this year as:

1. India

2. China

3. Vietnam

4. Nigeria

5. Philippines

6. Brazil

7. Colombia

8. Russia

Before I ever visited Thailand (I wasn't looking for a wife then), I also assumed that it would be more like the Philippines, with women that are desperate to get out. On the contrary, few women are desperate to get out and many won't leave for marriage. The vast majority of single Thai women are very keen to find husband; that is true (this is one of the main topics of social conversation among women). However the vast majority would also prefer that their husbands would live with them in Thailand. Fortunately living in Thailand is very easy these days, and we eventually hope to move back. As of now, we are content with living there in the summer and here the rest of the year.

Edited October 26, 2009 by toma1

[sachinky 464]

Wow, fun read!

A couple of points. Not directed towards anyone in special, just my thoughts.

1) We're all inclined/hardwired/tend to find some physical attribute appealing. Some men prefer Asian physical features. Some women prefer tall guys. Some guys like big boobs, some want small boobs. Some women like black men. Gentlemen prefer blondes, at least that's what they say. That's just what they find attractive. When I met my boyfriend (now husband) in junior year, my list of ideal qualities a potential boyfriend must possess had considerably dwindled due to previous bad dating experiences -- tall, funny and not emotionally abusive. It also helped that he has one hot booty. And is banging in bed. I also find redheads to be extremely attractive. Call me weird if you will. We're now both recent college graduates, quite poor but we still make each other laugh, watch LOST and eat chicken curry and samosas.

2) I really think by the time one files K1 visa, they and their SO should be 100% ready and convinced that this what they want and they are willing to go through with it. The K-1 is not meant to be a wife shopping pass. "Let's bring her over and see if she fits." Of course, circumstances can and do change but I can't imagine going through this hell several times over just for the fun of it.

3) Economics and education while not corelated, do end up impacting our choices when it comes our SOs. If a wealthy woman spends her time vacationing in Bali and playing tennis at the country club, her group of acquaintances is not likely to include the restaurant busboy or janitor, now is it?

4) For a lot of people from developing countries, a salary of $18,000 represents a lot of money. It's only when they get to the U.S. do they realize just how high the cost of living is compared to their home countries. A lot of people are also desperate to get out of their situations and are willing to say and do anything to get what they want. That doesn't mean they will tell USCIS that it's for money or for a GC. Of course, it's for love.

I had more, but lost track of my thoughts.

Edited November 20, 2009 by sachinky