Third K1 Visa

[Mrs.J06 4]

I think judging someone based on looks is equally as bad as judging someone based upon income.

If that was directed at me, I dont judge anyone based on looks. I dont think large or overwight woman are bad or less of human beings or anything negative like that (though I do think that of woman who date only guys with money), Im simply stating that so far, I have been unable to feel attracted to large /overweight woman. And that severely limits a man;s option in this country since 70% of the poplation(especially in 30's range) is overwight There's no judging, I only said Im not attracted to overwight woman.

Are you applying the same standard to yourself? I mean, are you in shape, attractive and take care of yourself? Do you care how much a woman you would be willing to marry can possibly earn in the US?

[baron555 934]

I think judging someone based on looks is equally as bad as judging someone based upon income.

True but looks are everything in getting a relationship started. Don't kid yourself; I two are not attracted to each other (and I mean physically) then any other attraction may not be sufficient enough to make the relationship work.

And yes, physical attraction alone is also not enough to make a relationship work.

If you don't like overweight people, then you find non-overweight people. And if that means going beyond your borders, then you do it.

And if one has constant bad luck with relationships, then you yourself may be part of the "problem". Doesn't mean you are a bad person but you may not have good judgement on how to determine if a relationship will last (how to recognize the signs).

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

True but looks are everything in getting a relationship started. Don't kid yourself; I two are not attracted to each other (and I mean physically) then any other attraction may not be sufficient enough to make the relationship work.

Oh, I'm not kidding myself in the least. I realize that looks are important. Looking at your picture I must say you are too old, overweight, pasty and unattractive to appeal to me in the slightest. No offense, you just aren't my type. Perhaps you have a great personality but I would never get to know that for judging you based solely upon looks. Obviously, I admit to being superficial too but I still think it is sad we live in such a thoroughly superficial world. But at the end of the day, I think men and women's preferences go back to biology. The male wants the woman he perceives to be the most fertile which in the past as in the present usually translates to an attractive, young woman. The woman wants the man that would provide the greatest amount of security and protection for her and her offspring. In the past that meant the biggest and most successful hunter/warrior, today it means the guy with a big paycheck even if he is a goofy little computer geek. Hence you see some beautiful supermodels with some silly looking but rich twerps. But now women working has changed things so women with high salaries can choose to remain single and still have kids (or not) or pick a man based upon looks or that is equally successful and sometimes even less so.

Honestly, if I'd met my husband in a bar I probably would have walked right past him and not given him a first let alone a second look because I prefer men that are really tall. I just wanted to point out that judging based upon looks is no different than judging based upon income and ultimately goes back to biology and the most beautiful women usually have the highest expectations with regards to income. So obviously an ugly man with a moderate to low income will have to go to a 3rd world country where his income will look far more attractive to the local beauties. Steve just doesn't seem to get that the beautiful women he is courting still have their standards but those standards are based upon 3rd world economics where he will stand a better chance rather than 1st world economics where he doesn't. Like Donna said, women have every right to have financial standards. Having a family is expensive and if a woman wants children then the smartest thing for her to do is find a man that makes enough for them to afford as many children as they want. It might be crass but it is also being a damn good mother by choosing a responsible and reliable mate to help provide for their offspring. Personally, I don't want children so I don't care if my husband never makes over $40k and I've long gotten over the fact that he isn't tall since he is so sweet, considerate and smart. To be honest, he is a far nicer and less superficial person than I am so I probably don't deserve him but I'm not going to let him go.

[baron555 934]

Oh, I'm not kidding myself in the least. I

No problem and looking at your picture I can see that you are afraid to even post yours. Not a problem.

I seem to remember hearing about a worldwide survey conducted where they ask both men and women to describe to them "the perfect looking mate".

The one result I remember (not all of it even) is that men were attracted to women who had waists that were some percentage smaller than their hips or vice versa. And there were similar shape attractions of men for the women.

So maybe it's not the actual looks for the physical attraction thing but the shape. I don't know.

What I do know is that I am attracted to both the outer and inner beauty of my fiancee and her to me.

[toma1 10]

So maybe it's not the actual looks for the physical attraction thing but the shape. I don't know.

Excuse the redundancy, but I totally absolutely 100% agree with that.

[toma1 10]

Oh, I'm not kidding myself in the least. I realize that looks are important. Looking at your picture I must say you are too old, overweight, pasty and unattractive to appeal to me in the slightest.

Men over 35 are generally not as insulted by comments like this as women seem to be. Especially women over 35. Not sure why that's the case.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I actually think both sexes over the age of 35 become much more comfortable with themselves as they get older and make peace with their body shape/shortcomings. Those that don't were the ones who spent too much time investing in the value of outer-beauty as young people.

[toma1 10]

I actually think both sexes over the age of 35 become much more comfortable with themselves as they get older and make peace with their body shape/shortcomings. Those that don't were the ones who spent too much time investing in the value of outer-beauty as young people.

That's what Jung said...

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

Men over 35 are generally not as insulted by comments like this as women seem to be. Especially women over 35. Not sure why that's the case.

It is probably because a man is judged more for how successful he is rather than his looks or age. Whereas, it really hasn't been that long since women entered the workforce in such numbers so women are still judged on looks no matter how successful they may be.

[wowswift 3]

True but looks are everything in getting a relationship started. Don't kid yourself; I two are not attracted to each other (and I mean physically) then any other attraction may not be sufficient enough to make the relationship work.

Oh, I'm not kidding myself in the least. I realize that looks are important. Looking at your picture I must say you are too old, overweight, pasty and unattractive to appeal to me in the slightest. No offense, you just aren't my type. Perhaps you have a great personality but I would never get to know that for judging you based solely upon looks. Obviously, I admit to being superficial too but I still think it is sad we live in such a thoroughly superficial world. But at the end of the day, I think men and women's preferences go back to biology. The male wants the woman he perceives to be the most fertile which in the past as in the present usually translates to an attractive, young woman. The woman wants the man that would provide the greatest amount of security and protection for her and her offspring. In the past that meant the biggest and most successful hunter/warrior, today it means the guy with a big paycheck even if he is a goofy little computer geek. Hence you see some beautiful supermodels with some silly looking but rich twerps. But now women working has changed things so women with high salaries can choose to remain single and still have kids (or not) or pick a man based upon looks or that is equally successful and sometimes even less so.

Honestly, if I'd met my husband in a bar I probably would have walked right past him and not given him a first let alone a second look because I prefer men that are really tall. I just wanted to point out that judging based upon looks is no different than judging based upon income and ultimately goes back to biology and the most beautiful women usually have the highest expectations with regards to income. So obviously an ugly man with a moderate to low income will have to go to a 3rd world country where his income will look far more attractive to the local beauties. Steve just doesn't seem to get that the beautiful women he is courting still have their standards but those standards are based upon 3rd world economics where he will stand a better chance rather than 1st world economics where he doesn't. Like Donna said, women have every right to have financial standards. Having a family is expensive and if a woman wants children then the smartest thing for her to do is find a man that makes enough for them to afford as many children as they want. It might be crass but it is also being a damn good mother by choosing a responsible and reliable mate to help provide for their offspring. Personally, I don't want children so I don't care if my husband never makes over $40k and I've long gotten over the fact that he isn't tall since he is so sweet, considerate and smart. To be honest, he is a far nicer and less superficial person than I am so I probably don't deserve him but I'm not going to let him go.

I agree with this. You read my mind lol. But I won't lie, I married my husband because I liked his sideburns

[Der Bücherwurm 1]

I agree with this. You read my mind lol. But I won't lie, I married my husband because I liked his sideburns

*snort*

[Brad and Vika 129]

[HannahP 119]

Steve55,

It is ignorant of you to categorizes all American women into one category. I think relationships are about compromising, and love. I don't expect any man to take care of me that is why I have a degree. I expect us to be partners and love and respect each other because that is what a relationship is about.

Edit: sorry typo

I never said ALL american woman are that way. I always say "In general" or "most". Even match.com shows about 70% of american ladies having minimum income requirements of $50K +. That's evidence enough that western ladies are looking for a man to make a certain amount of money for a certain lifestyle. !

Is that a Cali/NY $50K or a Midwestern $50K?

Poor Steve. He chose to be poor and now blames American women for not liking him. (Apparently, teh Asians don't like him either.)

LOL, Im not poor. That is a ignorant asumption on your part. This is strictly a moral issue for me. What, you think that if I made alot of money that Id want to date a woman who I know in my heart would not be with me if I didnt make a certian amount of money?? Think again!

Wasn't one of your original bitchings about how no wommins wanted anything to do with you, the poor grad student?

[steve55 0]

I think judging someone based on looks is equally as bad as judging someone based upon income.

If that was directed at me, I dont judge anyone based on looks. I dont think large or overwight woman are bad or less of human beings or anything negative like that (though I do think that of woman who date only guys with money), Im simply stating that so far, I have been unable to feel attracted to large /overweight woman. And that severely limits a man;s option in this country since 70% of the poplation(especially in 30's range) is overwight There's no judging, I only said Im not attracted to overwight woman.

Are you applying the same standard to yourself? I mean, are you in shape, attractive and take care of yourself? Do you care how much a woman you would be willing to marry can possibly earn in the US?

1. yes, I am applying it to myself. Im 5'10 and weigh 168, and muscular and attractive. Though Id ont think looks is everything of course. People always say I look like freddy prince Jr actually. Others here have seen my actual photo (before I replaced it with the current avatar) and can vouge for me on that

2. No , I dont care how much a woman would make in the USA. My first 2 fiances had only a high school education, and would probably work near min wage here. There are woman here in the USA who I could have and still probably could marry who make $50K +. But Id rather be poorer with someone I love and want to really be with than be miserable in marriage with someone I have no attraction to but yet have alot of money.

[steve55 0]

I think judging someone based on looks is equally as bad as judging someone based upon income.

True but looks are everything in getting a relationship started. Don't kid yourself; I two are not attracted to each other (and I mean physically) then any other attraction may not be sufficient enough to make the relationship work.

And yes, physical attraction alone is also not enough to make a relationship work.

If you don't like overweight people, then you find non-overweight people. And if that means going beyond your borders, then you do it.

And if one has constant bad luck with relationships, then you yourself may be part of the "problem". Doesn't mean you are a bad person but you may not have good judgement on how to determine if a relationship will last (how to recognize the signs).

My god! This is the most rational and accurate post ever posted on this thread. Amen to everything thatw as said. I know that my main mistake was trying to marry 18 and 19 yr old ladies. Ive since learned that girls that age are very flaky , they think they want marriage and then get cold feet when the time comes. But yes, perhaps somewhere along the way I have horrible judgement in recognizing whether I have a "real" solid relationship that will make it to the end. I do believe Im lacking some kind of proper judgement in this regard.