Third K1 Visa

[MrsBocanegra 3]

I never said ALL american woman are that way. I always say "In general" or "most". Even match.com shows about 70% of american ladies having minimum income reqirements of $50K +. That's evidence enough that western ladies are looking for a man to make a certain amount of money for a certain lifestyle. ! I notice that the foreign ladies dont list minimum incomes in their dating profiles even when given the oppurtunity to. Its so obvious! I know what I see with my own eyes, Ive seen how both american woman are and how asian ladies are, and I have drawn my own conclusions. We can agree to disagree on this subject, but over at the internet forum of plenty of fish.com, most men are agreeing with me about t his subject. I mean even just talkng with my buddies who are not into asian ladies, they completely agree that american ladies are more materialitic compared to foreign ladies. NOT ALL, but in GENERAL.

COngrats to you for being that 20% who are not focusing on a man;s money/income when you decide whom you will date or marry.

$50k isn't poor, but that hardly qualifies as gold-digging.

Is a minimal income requirement worse than a minimal attractiveness requirement?

That is not a rhetorical question. I am leaning toward the belief that it is not worse, but I would like to hear some other opinions on the subject.

I agree if you are going to have a minimal attractiveness requirement then why can't women have an income requirement or vice versa. I don't think one is worse then the other.

Donald Trumps wife Melania Knauss was once asked if the trump was poor would she be with him and she answered If I was ugly would he be with me. I can't find the article sorry.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I'm sure flat-chested and overweight American women on match.com share Steve's disdain of superficial Americans

[toma1 10]

You did not generalize all American women as fat gold diggers like someone else. You just stated that looks are important to you and your wife, which is fine since you both feel that way. You also said your wife has the right criticize your weight as well and I think that is only fair. What most people forget is that attraction is a very important factor in relationships, but we also have to look for something deeper then just looks. I think that is where most people had a problem with your statement. I am not saying you are very superficial, but it did come across that way at first. After reading more of your post I realized you do like brains as well as beauty.

Thanks for your post. I would never have married a gorgeous idiot--now dating is another matter entirely, of course...

When I talk about attractiveness, I'm talking more about overall fitness than facial beauty or "big boobs". Attractiveness (IMO) is much more about taking care of yourself than it is about a pretty face. Unlike intelligence, facial beauty, wealth, etc., fitness is something that anyone can do if they watch their diet and spend some time in the gym. In that regard, I think it is one of the MOST fair standards to have.

[MrsBocanegra 3]

You did not generalize all American women as fat gold diggers like someone else. You just stated that looks are important to you and your wife, which is fine since you both feel that way. You also said your wife has the right criticize your weight as well and I think that is only fair. What most people forget is that attraction is a very important factor in relationships, but we also have to look for something deeper then just looks. I think that is where most people had a problem with your statement. I am not saying you are very superficial, but it did come across that way at first. After reading more of your post I realized you do like brains as well as beauty.

Thanks for your post. I would never have married a gorgeous idiot--now dating is another matter entirely, of course...

When I talk about attractiveness, I'm talking more about overall fitness than facial beauty or "big boobs". Attractiveness (IMO) is much more about taking care of yourself than it is about a pretty face. Unlike intelligence, facial beauty, wealth, etc., fitness is something that anyone can do if they watch their diet and spend some time in the gym. In that regard, I think it is one of the MOST fair standards to have.

Ok, I can agree, it is fair as long as both meet this standard. It would be silly for a man (or women) to demand his SO to take care of herself and he sits on the couch watching the television.

I think it is also fair to look for someone who makes a decent living or is working towards this goal. I am not saying 500,000 or even 100,000. For instance a teacher would only make about 40,000, which is fine. They make enough money to survive and provide for a family. You can't expect someone to want to marry a man working at Burger King with no other ambitions. Why would anyone want to marry someone who has no other goals and is content with working at a low paying dead end job?

I'm sure flat-chested and overweight American women on match.com share Steve's disdain of superficial Americans

[toma1 10]

Ok, I can agree, it is fair as long as both meet this standard. It would be silly for a man (or women) to demand his SO to take care of herself and he sits on the couch watching the television.

I run, she bikes and swims.

I think it is also fair to look for someone who makes a decent living or is working towards this goal. I am not saying 500,000 or even 100,000. For instance a teacher would only make about 40,000, which is fine. They make enough money to survive and provide for a family. You can't expect someone to want to marry a man working at Burger King with no other ambitions. Why would anyone want to marry someone who has no other goals and is content with working at a low paying dead end job?

What if the woman is a $100k+ corporate professional and wants a similar guy?

[MrsBocanegra 3]

Then it is only fair just like beauty (attractiveness). Granted I wouldn't say a woman should limit herself. More then likely she will be surrounded by other professionals making the possibility to meet someone that makes $100k more likely.

[steve55 0]

$50k isn't poor, but that hardly qualifies as gold-digging.

Is a minimal income requirement worse than a minimal attractiveness requirement?

That is not a rhetorical question. I am leaning toward the belief that it is not worse, but I would like to hear some other opinions on the subject.

1. $50K definitely isnt gold digging, but Im sick of woman putting a $$$ figure on love PERIOD!! Its sickening. Love should not be for freakin sale!!

2. Most resoundly yes, a min income requirement is by FAR FAR FAR!! worse than a min attractiveness requirement. Its not even a comparable MORAL arguement. Ya see, it is only natural that a couple would need to have a physical attraction to one another. Without that, what do you have left? Every relationship doctor always states that without physical attraction in a relationship or marriage, it is doomed to fail. Barba De Angelous for one states that and her relationship books are top sellers.

On the other hand, a min income requirement shoudl only come to play in serious poverty situations where the guy cant even bring food and rent to the table, ok? Where I live in texas, people make it on $15K /yr, and definitely on $18K per year. So, fine, maybe the lady feels the need to put a $18K min income requirement, I wont blame her for that. But any minimum income requirment above what it takes for the basics in life is just making love for sale!!!! LOVE is not about $$$, come on guys. Love is about loving that person for who he is, not for how many dollars he packs. RIGHT??? Geez. That shoudl be a no brainer man. Well, I guess its not a no brainer if you are talking about materialistic woman who care more about money than love.

[steve55 0]

$50k isn't poor, but that hardly qualifies as gold-digging.

Is a minimal income requirement worse than a minimal attractiveness requirement?

That is not a rhetorical question. I am leaning toward the belief that it is not worse, but I would like to hear some other opinions on the subject.

1. $50K definitely isnt gold digging, but Im sick of woman putting a $$$ figure on love PERIOD!! Its sickening. Love should not be for freakin sale!!

2. Most resoundly yes, a min income requirement is by FAR FAR FAR!! worse than a min attractiveness requirement. Its not even a comparable MORAL arguement. Ya see, it is only natural that a couple would need to have a physical attraction to one another. Without that, what do you have left? Every relationship doctor always states that without physical attraction in a relationship or marriage, it is doomed to fail. Barba De Angelous for one states that and her relationship books are top sellers.

On the other hand, a min income requirement shoudl only come to play in serious poverty situations where the guy cant even bring food and rent to the table, ok? Where I live in texas, people make it on $15K /yr, and definitely on $18K per year. So, fine, maybe the lady feels the need to put a $18K min income requirement, I wont blame her for that. But any minimum income requirment above what it takes for the basics in life is just making love for sale!!!! LOVE is not about $$$, come on guys. Love is about loving that person for who he is, not for how many dollars he packs. RIGHT??? Geez. That shoudl be a no brainer man. Well, I guess its not a no brainer if you are talking about materialistic woman who care more about money than love.

I edited my post but it times out so here is the rest:

And fellers, keep in mind something VERY important, one cannot control who they are attracted to, attraction just is or it just isnt. So how can that be considered superficial if it isnt a choice???? Ever think about that? Superficiality implies one has a choice in the matter. Now, on the other hand, a minimum income requirement is something one Consciously CHOOSES!! , and has control over. It is a volunatrily choice , unlike attraction which certainly is involuntary. Think about the differences and how it implies to the moral imperative and get back to me on that.

Love is something I believe shoudl not be for sale. Thta's one pisses me off when I see american ladies putting excessive minimum incomes of $50K to 100K . They are nothing less than PROSTIUTES, they are essentially saying they are for sale to the man with the money. That is the definition of prostitution right? But somehow its ok in the online dating realm but its not ok on the streets. And I really hammer those ladies hard on match.com when they do. Yea, I have a chip on my shoulder about those type ladies. I just think it is extremely immoral and what is wrong with the world. People shoud love each other for who they are, for their character, their personality, their intelligence, how they treat others et cetc, but for GOD SAKE not for the size of his (or her ) Wallet!! Other than needing to know that both of you can make enough to get by with the basics in life, Money has to be 100% out of the picture if you are to be morally correct with love.

Too many american ladies want the high life by finding it in rich men (rather than the honorable way of working towards it themsleves if thats so important to them). You and all of us here know what Im talking about. About 70% do, amnd they need a man to make $40K + to consider dating him. Its just sick and disgraceful to see such woman who only care about finding men who make soe min income as their value system for whom to love. I see those types as less of human beings. (Again, exceptions is if they both are very poor, thus cant cover the basics in life, then thats when a min income of maybe $18K has to kick in, but that is so rare anyways )

MORALLY SPEAKING, MONEY DOES NOT BELONG IN THE LOVE EQUATION. Love someone for WHO THEY ARE ONLY!

Edited October 19, 2009 by steve55

[rebeccajo 14]

I think people should marry whoever the hell they want for whatever reason without having to justify it, if both people are happy.

However, if I was lovely young non-American woman getting hitched to an American guy, I'd find it really depressing and little bit screwed up to find our relationship described vis à vis his attitudes toward American women and that my national origin was some kind of "trait". Just my 2 cents.

LOL, OMG, how funny, its actually quite the contrary. I get TONS of emails at cherry blossoms (where I meet most of the filipinas) who compliment me on what I said about filipinas being better valued than Western ladies. I state in my profile that in general, I think filipiinas make better wives, are more dedicated to their man and family, less likely to divoce, and have better family values, and are not materialistic like most Western ladies are. The ladies say they are impressed that I think this way and that I value the filipinas like that.

Ill strongly disagree with Toma 1 in regards to saying most foreign ladies are as materialitic as American woman are. STRONGLY disagree. LOL. What I have personally witnessed with dating asian ladies here in texas, and especially with knowing filipinas is that there is a HUGE difference. My personal observations also matches what 100's of other men who have dated and married asian ladies, well, mostly filipinas have said also.

Here are some EXAMPLES from other men posting at other internet sites regarding the general differences:

1.What I have found is filapinas appreciate how they are treated much more than western women. I think , IMHO, it's

their inherant(sp?) attitudes that really differentiate the 2 cultures. Western women feel they are entitled to

everything that you have where as filapinas appreciate whatever you can do for them. At least that's my take on the

issue.

2. I am guilty of looking at women in the US and observing how they only view men as an economic means by which to get ahead in life, and how they are focused upon the material for happiness and have forgotten about love.

3. I have found Asian women to be collaborative in a relationship versus wanting to run the whole thing from one perspective only.

- They are committed to making a relationship successful over the long term

- They are family oriented, which makes them more caring and nurturing

- A person that has lived or seen poverty up close has developed a sense of value and thrift that helps decision-making in household matters. Less materialistic and they understand the value of a peso/dollar.

- My Joy is quick to say “I love You”, “Thank You”, and show respect very frequently. This warms my heart and makes me more than willing to return my love as well. While my ex-wife is more inclined to say “What have you done for me today”.

4.To a certain degree, Filipinas seem to have a reputation for being sweet, gentle, loving and loyal.

Many (most?) do not have interest in material wealth, only whether a potential husband would love them and treat them well.

(In my case, Maria could have married at least two different millionaires. She was turned off by their displays of wealth. She thought they might be more interested in their properties and portfolios than in her and future children.)

Three, four of our friends say many American women, at least in the Washington, DC metro area, are focused on the size of a guy's bank account and little else.

5. Filipinas are hard-wired differently than American women who grow up spoiled and undisciplined. Filipinas don't marry a guy because he is "cute" or "cut". Marriage is about security, family and faith.

6. American women..

- highest maintenance (I've never heard of a foreign bride demanding her husband buy expensive house & cars)

- fattest in the world

- most likely to cheat

- highest rate of divorce (60% - US-US marriages; 20% - US-foreign marriages)

- largest payout in divorce court (you'll be ####-raped for everything you earned, plus most of what you will earn for years to come)

- bitchiest

- most likely to nag constantly

- most likely to hate men

- spend least amount of time with her children

- worst at cooking and cleaning

7. 3 reasons to marry an American woman

1. You actually believe BBW = big BEAUTIFUL wife.

2. You believe nagging is essential for personal growth.

3. You really look forward to the day your BBW wife divorces you and you gladly fork over 50% over your hard earned assets, plus child support and alimony (a lard #### ###### for sure is not going to have a good job). Then after that you have to figure out how to live on 20% of your income.

8. I can not date white American women anymore. I was in the navy and I have seen the light. Women from other countries just look better and treat you better too! I didnAmerican women are high-maintenance primadonnas with attitudes. I'd take a foreign born Russian or Latina woman any day. I didnt pay for ###### when I was overseas and I pay up the wazoo here. Any rational person can figure it out from here.

9. Dating or being married to an American woman is like driving a beat-up Ford Escort. If you are only used to driving a beat-up Ford Escort, then you have no idea what it feels like when you drive a Bentley or Ferrari. You need to at least test-drive a Ferrari, so you'll have a reference point on what a real car feels like.

10. Foreign women are comfortable in their femininity. As a male I am attracted to this. And I love her with all my heart.

I believe that American women have priced themselves out of the marketplace. Too needy, too many headgames, too easy to divorce.

Not many foreign men want American wives either.

I wonder how much farther this conversation will go if this American Woman with a Foreign Man for a husband throws in the curve that her Foreign Man says American Men are generally regarded (overseas) as Selfish Ba$tards Who Are All About Themselves and generally make poor husbands since they are poor human beings?

[toma1 10]

I wonder how much farther this conversation will go if this American Woman with a Foreign Man for a husband throws in the curve that her Foreign Man says American Men are generally regarded (overseas) as Selfish Ba$tards Who Are All About Themselves and generally make poor husbands since they are poor human beings?

I suspect it will continue unabated, as your single data point is about as valuable as any other single data point. I'd hardly say it's a curve; more of a bug on the road. Care to provide a bit more evidence than "my husband told me..."?

This is an interesting study, by a female UK economist from Oxford, nonetheless. (13,500 data points in her study, BTW...)

http://www.financialpost.com/m/story.html?id=1862097

[rebeccajo 14]

I wonder how much farther this conversation will go if this American Woman with a Foreign Man for a husband throws in the curve that her Foreign Man says American Men are generally regarded (overseas) as Selfish Ba$tards Who Are All About Themselves and generally make poor husbands since they are poor human beings?

I suspect it will continue unabated, as your single data point is about as valuable as any other single data point. I'd hardly say it's a curve; more of a bug on the road. Care to provide a bit more evidence than "my husband told me..."?

This is an interesting study, by a female UK economist from Oxford, nonetheless. (13,500 data points in her study, BTW...)

http://www.financialpost.com/m/story.html?id=1862097

Well, you know we (Americans) worldwide have the reputation of being brash.

It's not just a case of 'my husband told me'. It's a case of paying attention since I became involved in 'international relations'.

[toma1 10]

Well, you know we (Americans) worldwide have the reputation of being brash.

It's not just a case of 'my husband told me'. It's a case of paying attention since I became involved in 'international relations'.

Yes, Americans in general are considered to be brash. But's quite a stretch to go from "Americans are brash" to "American men are selfish bastards" and then call it a day, with only--I'll repeat myself--"my husband told me" to bridge the rather large gap in reasoning.

[toma1 10]

And fellers, keep in mind something VERY important, one cannot control who they are attracted to, attraction just is or it just isnt. So how can that be considered superficial if it isnt a choice????

But couldn't I turn that reasoning around and state that since a person has much more control over their income than their physical beauty, the higher moral position would be the one that gives more weight to the factors that a person can control?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

2. Most resoundly yes, a min income requirement is by FAR FAR FAR!! worse than a min attractiveness requirement. Its not even a comparable MORAL arguement. Ya see, it is only natural that a couple would need to have a physical attraction to one another. Without that, what do you have left? Every relationship doctor always states that without physical attraction in a relationship or marriage, it is doomed to fail. Barba De Angelous for one states that and her relationship books are top sellers.

Yep - and money issues are one of the primary reasons for divorce so better to be upfront about your attitudes up front.

Besides, what if these women want to be a traditional wife and stay at home to raise children? Where I live, someone making less than $50k is not going to be able to afford a neighborhood with good schools. Is it materialistic to want that?

At the end of the day, ability to provide is no less a biological imperative that set of big knockers and childbearing hips

In that regard, I think it is one of the MOST fair standards to have.

I agree about that....lots of porky guys on this site who talk about how fat American women are compared to their lithe foreign brides. So a double standard for some

What if the woman is a $100k+ corporate professional and wants a similar guy?

I know a bunch of high-earning women who make more money than their husbands - and it's not an issue for them

[toma1 10]

I know a bunch of high-earning women who make more money than their husbands - and it's not an issue for them

That reminds me: I can't believe I that forgot to mention my neighbors. They are doing extremely well. She is an accounting executive that drives a BMW 5 series and he...

                                                                        ...is a stay at home dad with a salary of $0.

Edited October 19, 2009 by toma1