Third K1 Visa

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"

Also, keep in mind that I didn't post that to demonstrate marrying up or down. I was posting it to illustrate that certain groups of Asian women are more likely than other groups to marry someone that is substantially older than them regardless of financial need.

I'm sure you'll find a group of similar Americans.....money is more important than age for some

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I'm aware of it although you were the one that made the leap from the Philippines to China and Korea (apparently). I wasn't familiar with Chun and Lee so forgive me for not bothering to look it up on Wikipedia. Wendy Deng is an American citizen by the way. All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"

I didn't expect you to know them, however when referring to Asians as a racial or geographic group, especially when you are not sure of nationality, "Asian" is greatly preferred to "Chinese", which will be considered an insult to some groups if you get it wrong, especially South Koreans. ..

and you understood that when trying to counter stereotypes about "filipinas"

I've lived in Asia....have you?

[HannahP 119]

but I suppose because they are Chinese they are not "materialistic" for marrying a man with more money than they have, but if an American woman did the same they would be

Most american women don't need a man for financial security either - they are no treated liked second class citizens in their own country (though I'm sure many here probably wish they were - too bad for them it isn't going to go to how it was)

This.

But if steve wants to marry a hawt woman and steve's hawt woman wants to marry a hawt American...aren't they well suited? At least until one of them grows butt-ugly old?

I mean, /personally/, I married a Canadian! and he didn't even make ANY money! and now I'm stuck in nursing school to hopefully pay teh billz one day!11 My sugar daddy hasn't come along yet, but y'know.

[toma1 10]

and you understood that when trying to counter stereotypes about "filipinas"

I've lived in Asia....have you?

It is a stereotype that is widely held about most Asians.

Lived there?! Zowie! Me too! And, I live there every summer because I'm a professor that teaches courses in international business and culture at universities in China and Thailand as well as at here in the states. And I run Asian study abroad programs for American students in China (including Hong Kong & Macau), Vietnam, Thailand and Cambodia. My teaching assignment next summer is for the Thai Chamber of Commerce in Bangkok. Our study abroad program will be "International Organizations and Society" which will focus on the management of international NGOs and non-profits in Thailand and Cambodia.

[toma1 10]

All the women you mention are very accomplished and didn't marry "down"...it seems, based on many of the posts here (not necessarily yours so don't get too defensive), that when American women do the same thing they are "materialistic" and "money obsessed"

Also, keep in mind that I didn't post that to demonstrate marrying up or down. I was posting it to illustrate that certain groups of Asian women are more likely than other groups to marry someone that is substantially older than them regardless of financial need.

I'm sure you'll find a group of similar Americans.....money is more important than age for some

sigh... The point is that they were ALREADY rich and therefore money was unlikely to have been an issue.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

well, duh, but I doubt Wendy Deng married Rupert because of his good looks and to enjoy life's simple pleasures together.

Fact is, she was the president of Star TV when they married and she has more in common with the American women she went to Yale with than someone from a village in the Philippines. And she didn't give her career up after marriage to sit at home and wait for Rupert to come home after a long day running a global media empire with a sandwich and a highball.

[toma1 10]

-she was the president of Star TV when they married

-she didn't give her career up after marriage to sit at home

I find it strange that you would bring up those two points as BOTH are stronger evidence that she DID NOT marry him for his money than they are that she did. "Duh."

I doubt Wendy Deng married Rupert because of his good looks and to enjoy life's simple pleasures together.

So in your mind, the only reasons for marrying someone that are worth mentioning--other than money--are "looks" and "life's simple pleasures"?

Interesting. I guess I have nothing to add in reply at this time.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I think you're really missing the point - and I think you need to fix your irony detector

[toma1 10]

I think you're really missing the point

My point is that I think she married him because he was interesting, successful (which is not limited to wealth alone), powerful and that they enjoyed working and perhaps playing (e.g. recreation, travel, whatever they do for fun) together and that she obviously did not care about his age or his wealth alone. I believe that Western women would have tended to give his age more weight in the decision--not all of them, of course, but more of them in general.

You apparently think otherwise, but I'm not certain, given that your prior post simply added more evidence for the above.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I think you will find a lot of american women who are not bimbos married to powerful, successful men much older than they are.

the argument that gets put forward in these types threads is that when an American woman does this they "only care about money" while the morally correct virtuous Asian women "don't care about money"

my point is that Wendy Deng didn't marry someone less successful than she was - she didn't exactly hook up with joe six pack from Des Moines did she?

[Chica Yeyé 41]

[toma1 10]

I think you will find a lot of american women who are not bimbos married to powerful, successful men much older than they are.

the argument that gets put forward in these types threads is that when an American woman does this they "only care about money" while the morally correct virtuous Asian women "don't care about money"

my point is that Wendy Deng didn't marry someone less successful than she was - she didn't exactly hook up with joe six pack from Des Moines did she?

Exactly right.

I'm not convinced that Western women are more likely to marry for money than Eastern women, and as you pointed out before, I never said that. (Though I do think that women overall are more likely to marry for money than men and that men overall are more likely to marry for beauty.) I do think that Western women are more age sensitive than Eastern women, but I cannot say by how much. I'll bet, however, that the difference is statistically significant even after controlling for the money/poverty issues that we have discussed. I will add that I am certain that Western MEN are even MORE age sensitive than Western women, by the way.

Finally, I have no issue with or criticism for ANY of the above so long as both parties are happy with the result.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I think people should marry whoever the hell they want for whatever reason without having to justify it, if both people are happy.

However, if I was lovely young non-American woman getting hitched to an American guy, I'd find it really depressing and little bit screwed up to find our relationship described vis à vis his attitudes toward American women and that my national origin was some kind of "trait". Just my 2 cents.

[toma1 10]

I think people should marry whoever the hell they want for whatever reason without having to justify it, if both people are happy.

However, if I was lovely young non-American woman getting hitched to an American guy, I'd find it really depressing and little bit screwed up to find our relationship described vis à vis his attitudes toward American women and that my national origin was some kind of "trait". Just my 2 cents.

Interesting perspective, however in my experience your fears are unfounded. "Do you like [Thai, Chinese, Korean, Malay, Indonesian] girls?" ("girls" is their term) is a question that single Western guys hear from women (sometimes in a matchmaking role) in those countries on a regular basis. It is definitely true that what we call "politically correct speech" does not exist in Asia in the sense that it exists here. (There are things that remain unspoken, but they are different things.)

I don't think it's THAT strange. Some guys like an Asian look... some women like French guys. Do you think that offends any Frenchmen?

(Typed on my iPhone while sitting in a horrible traffic jam.)

[toma1 10]

(Typed on my iPhone while sitting in a horrible traffic jam.)

Traffic jam ended up being a bridge jumper on the Skyway. He jumped... fishermen recovered the body. Before he jumped, he set his car on fire. Once the police put out the fire, the police opened the trunk and found a body inside. Turned out to be his ex. What a psycho.

http://www.tampabay.com/news/publicsafety/...suicide/1043633

Edited October 14, 2009 by toma1