Third K1 Visa

[steve55 0]

Further, I wouldnt' be really proud to suggest that your friend's only chance of finding a woman is to find someone so underprivileged that even he looks good by comparison. Are you two buying these women or are you meeting women who will be partners and equals?

Well, your obvioulsy thinking in the american stereotypical way of thinking. LOL. The truth is that the disadvantaged countries are the only place where a woman can still find a slightly overweight older guy still attractive. Their value system there seems to allow for it. They're not greedy in having to have the perfect body 6 pack young stud. In fact, filipinas tell me over and over again that they prefer to marry men 10-20 yrs older. Its in their culture. In the USA, once a guy hits 40, he's done with getting girls 30 to 36 range(child bearing range). Its quite rare if so. American girls care more about youth and looks than foreign girls do. Has nothing to do with buying anyone or being unequal, its just matching up ourselves so we are in a country where the woman of that country are actually interested in us. But many americans who resent guys going overseas like that tend to present it in this negative light

You don't have to answer that question because the answer is very obvious. You're buying but you can only afford "cheap" women. Very insulting to Filipina's.

I do find it amusing that Steve claims a lot of American women would marry him. And yet he can't get a disadvantaged kid from a third world country to marry him.

Im the first to admit that the first 2 girls being 19 yrs old is a risky venture. AT that age, girls dont know for sure what they want. They were confused about marrying at such a young age. STuff happens. And who says filipinas are cheap in the first place? You are the one insulting filipinas by implicating any of them as being "cheap". I view them all as equals, as human beings.

[MsZ 6]

How convenient that you ignored the fact that my husband is overweight and that I find him incredibly attractive.

You make a lot of excuses as to why you can't find a woman. But the truth is, YOU are the reason you can't find a woman. And you hardly view women, any women, as equals.

You're a loser baby. Just admit it.

[Brad and Vika 129]

OMG Steve55!

[Old Dominion 26]

If it weren't for the fact that he's tried to lure a young Filipina twice before (or was it three times?) Steve55 makes some good sense to me. By and large, American single women (MsZ included) do seem to want a certain standard of living as a prerequisite to taking a second look at a man. We are a consumer-driven culture with an economy to match.

On the other hand, if a person is affluent and wants to marry from overseas, that affluence should be shared equally in the marriage. This is something difficult for a long-time single guy to accept.

[MsZ 6]

If the example is of a guy who makes $18K bringing someone overseas here for marriage, they hardly qualify as affluent. They're barely making it themselves and it begs the question of responsibility. Is it responsible to bring someone to the US when you cannot actually take care of them? That's what the affidavit of support is for, and there is the option of having a co-sponsor, but is it responsible to bring someone here when you really can't afford it on your own? How exactly "adult" is it to do that? I exclude a lot of "kids" from this because they are typically educated and have "potential" to grow together. But the 35-40 year old? Please. Get your house in order first.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

How convenient that you ignored the fact that my husband is overweight and that I find him incredibly attractive.

You make a lot of excuses as to why you can't find a woman. But the truth is, YOU are the reason you can't find a woman. And you hardly view women, any women, as equals.

You're a loser baby. Just admit it.

I puffy heart MsZ

[Old Dominion 26]

If the example is of a guy who makes $18K bringing someone overseas here for marriage, they hardly qualify as affluent. They're barely making it themselves and it begs the question of responsibility. Is it responsible to bring someone to the US when you cannot actually take care of them? That's what the affidavit of support is for, and there is the option of having a co-sponsor, but is it responsible to bring someone here when you really can't afford it on your own? How exactly "adult" is it to do that? I exclude a lot of "kids" from this because they are typically educated and have "potential" to grow together. But the 35-40 year old? Please. Get your house in order first.

What WOULD be an acceptable level of income, in your eyes? The U.S. government regards $18,000 per year as sufficient to sponsor a fiancee. Would another $18,000 make you sit up and notice? Or maybe triple the poverty level? To many in the U.S., even that's still insufficient for a man approaching 40. To a great many others, that would allow for a good, though perhaps humble, lifestyle.

[Brad and Vika 129]

If the example is of a guy who makes $18K bringing someone overseas here for marriage, they hardly qualify as affluent. They're barely making it themselves and it begs the question of responsibility. Is it responsible to bring someone to the US when you cannot actually take care of them? That's what the affidavit of support is for, and there is the option of having a co-sponsor, but is it responsible to bring someone here when you really can't afford it on your own? How exactly "adult" is it to do that? I exclude a lot of "kids" from this because they are typically educated and have "potential" to grow together. But the 35-40 year old? Please. Get your house in order first.

What WOULD be an acceptable level of income, in your eyes? The U.S. government regards $18,000 per year as sufficient to sponsor a fiancee. Would another $18,000 make you sit up and notice? Or maybe triple the poverty level? To many in the U.S., even that's still insufficient for a man approaching 40. To a great many others, that would allow for a good, though perhaps humble, lifestyle.

I suppose it does depend to an extent on expectations and prior standard of living, but there are some absolutes too. I am talking about what it costs to live even at a basic level here, and most immigrants from countries with a lower standard of living do not understand the cost of things here until they arrive. For example, my fiance' comes from a country where $500US per month is a decent, living wage. I am not rich by our standards, but that $500 doesn't even cover my mortgage payment. We discussed it several times in terms of budget, etc. but it is completely different to see it up close.

So I guess I have to agree that a any responsible guy will make sure that he has sufficient income to actually support a family before he starts one. I am not talking about preferences, love, relationship experiences, or anything like that. Just being responsible. And the income does NOT IMHO, have to be equal, and my fiance' definitely does not have to be able to support herself to have appeal for me, but there must be enough money between us to make the family thing work.

[Matt-and-Annie 0]

Im the first to admit that the first 2 girls being 19 yrs old is a risky venture. AT that age, girls dont know for sure what they want. They were confused about marrying at such a young age. STuff happens. And who says filipinas are cheap in the first place? You are the one insulting filipinas by implicating any of them as being "cheap". I view them all as equals, as human beings.

Geez, I was reading this thread and really wasn't going to say anything buuuuuuut I guess I will... I have a comment about this, I was 18 when I met my fiancee and knew right from the beginning I wanted to marry him, now I am 20 and STILL know exactly what I want...Marriage and meeting someone who you want to marry is all about maturity not age...and so something to consider with those specific ladies is.... Maybe the reason why they left you was because they weren't sure they wanted to marry someone way older than themselves (no offense) but a 19 year old with a 41 year old presents problems later in life...

[sj2009 0]

I frankly do not see anything that Steve said, at least in his original post, which should upset so many people. He made some generalizations, but those are true generally according to studies and researches.

He said he wants something that is not overweight. That puts him in the same category as 99% of the men on earth, including the ones who are madly in love with overweight women. As most would know, men are hard-wired to like hour-glass-shaped women. More evolved men would engage with overweight women, fall in love with something else like personality, and then weight or shape of body is not a factor. And that is great, but not being one of them is hardly a fault.

He made comments about westernized women being very interested in how much money the man makes. That claim is backed by major studies, just not his experiences. Again, as you all know, evolution-wise, women look for provider in a man just like men dig hour-glass-shape in women. And that in today’s terms mean money in western hemisphere, and there is nothing wrong with it. Studies after studies have shown this, and you see plenty of such articles such as this one on msnbc today - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29163128/. A man can be ugly and have none of the characteristics that women find attractive, but if he is rich he will attract a lot of women. This is not about gold-diggers; women honestly find richer men attractive.

Steve said something about women in west comparing gifts and such and never being happy. If you google for it, you will again find studies that have shown that though the people (both men and women) in the west have continued to become more richer and have more resources (this was before the current recession), the happiness continue to decrease. This is because there is an increasing attitude in the western, capitalist society to always compare what you have to something that others have more of, resulting in lesser satisfaction with what they already have. This applies to both men and women, and is cause of a lot of unhappiness and discontent. The difference though is men do not expect women to provide whereas women do.

[Brad and Vika 129]

I frankly do not see anything that Steve said, at least in his original post, which should upset so many people. He made some generalizations, but those are true generally according to studies and researches.

He said he wants something that is not overweight. That puts him in the same category as 99% of the men on earth, including the ones who are madly in love with overweight women. As most would know, men are hard-wired to like hour-glass-shaped women. More evolved men would engage with overweight women, fall in love with something else like personality, and then weight or shape of body is not a factor. And that is great, but not being one of them is hardly a fault.

He made comments about westernized women being very interested in how much money the man makes. That claim is backed by major studies, just not his experiences. Again, as you all know, evolution-wise, women look for provider in a man just like men dig hour-glass-shape in women. And that in today’s terms mean money in western hemisphere, and there is nothing wrong with it. Studies after studies have shown this, and you see plenty of such articles such as this one on msnbc today - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/29163128/. A man can be ugly and have none of the characteristics that women find attractive, but if he is rich he will attract a lot of women. This is not about gold-diggers; women honestly find richer men attractive.

Steve said something about women in west comparing gifts and such and never being happy. If you google for it, you will again find studies that have shown that though the people (both men and women) in the west have continued to become more richer and have more resources (this was before the current recession), the happiness continue to decrease. This is because there is an increasing attitude in the western, capitalist society to always compare what you have to something that others have more of, resulting in lesser satisfaction with what they already have. This applies to both men and women, and is cause of a lot of unhappiness and discontent. The difference though is men do not expect women to provide whereas women do.

I think it was the tone of Steve's posts that drove some other VJers crazy - not the message itself. Everybody has preferences and opinions, hardwired or not, but sweeping generalizations tend to draw fire. Just saying.

[MsZ 6]

He doesn't want someone who is overweight but he wants women to look past weight when making a decision about his friend? Uh huh.

[MsZ 6]

And why is it not a fault to be shallow about weight when it is shallow to be concerned with earning potential? If women allegedly "evolved" to choose mates who can provide for a family, wouldn't that fall into the same "hardly a fault" argument? Money is the equivalent of providing food, shelter and protection.

Love the double-standards. I suppose he doesn't want anyone who has a comb-over, either.

[Ban Hammer 13,343]

Good grief, they are everywhere. Try looking at match.com. have you noticed that OVER HALF of the ladies list min income of 40-50K/yr!! The other 30 % list min income of 70K to 100K. Its everywhere!!! I see it in my friends situations with the ladies. I know several who divorced the man cause his lowered salary due to pay cut at work wasnt enough for her to handle as he couldnt find any other job paying nearly what he was making. I see it all around me, , you can pick up on societies dating requirements. I could go on and on. Its clear as daylight, with only a small number of exceptions.

And about the age comment where someone said American womans dont care about 10 to 15 yr age spreads, most do. Again, I PROMISE YOU!! Read dating sites like match.com, the ladies almost always list their preferred man as being a max of 4 years older. Dating internet sites tell alot about our western woman. Minimum income requirements are overly abundant there, not so much with the foreign ladies who moved to the USA and still have some of their country's value system.

back in 2002, i tried the match.com thing, it got old pretty quick - due to the income requirements some imposed. it made me feel like i was just a wallet.

[MsZ 6]

Isn't that the point though? If you can weed out someone who appears to be materialistic, isn't the income requirement that some pose useful information?

And did it ever occur to you that you could just as easily "impose" an income requirement as well? That way you could look for someone who makes around what you make and feel less like a wallet and more like an equal.

BTW, Viagra falls is very amusing.