Third K1 Visa

[Brad and Vika 129]

At least you have your sarcasm to lend to the discussion. Don't know where the rest of us would be without it. My life is indeed enriched.

Alas, sarcasm is all that I have to offer Honestly though, it is all in good fun and I do not mean to offend. It seems to me that sometimes we think too hard about topics like how to choose a mate. Everybody has there own set of preferences and baggage - but if we are lucky, our second half appears anyway. If we are truly lucky we notice that person in spite of our preconceptions.

Cheers!

Indeed -- I never thought I would fall for a blond!

And Vika never thought (reading my last post) that she would fall for a guy that can't spell

[alex and astrid 38]

On important decisions:

Westernized Woman: “You idiot. Why didn’t you do it my way?”

Filipina: “Up to you….” (This does not mean “up to you”. It means please tell me why you are doing this and then I will tell you how I feel.)

After receiving a gift:

Westernized Woman: Says “thanks” while instantly comparing it to the version owned by her most ostentatious friend.

Filipina: “Thanks, but you really didn’t need to do this.”

On Wednesday Night Sex:

Westernized Woman: “Touch me and I am calling the cops.”

Filipina: “Sure, why not.”

On Shopping:

Westernized Woman: “I just have to have that Vuitton purse/Tiffany bracelet/etc..”

Filipina: “I wonder if I can find a first-class copy.”

On Financial Setbacks:

Westernized Woman: “So what are you going to do about it.”

Filipina: “Maybe I can get some overtime to help out.”

On Exploded Home Appliance:

Westernized Woman: “I told you not to buy that cheap thing.”

Filipina: “………” Dead silence. The Filipina is hiding.

On Infidelity:

Westernized Woman: “I’ll find the nastiest divorce lawyer in Beverly Hills.”

Filipina: “The best way to keep a man away from other women is to be sure he is satisfied at home.”

Me: “I can’t cheat on her (if she is a Filipina). That woman is so good to me……..”

Wow. As a 'western' woman, I am so offended by this. Sweeping generalization, much? I guess you just like to be in total control of a woman instead of working as a team...because, you know, being a team and being equals is what marriage is about.

[AnnexoxShay 1]

LOL .. I cant believe I actually read this entire thread ...

Being a 37 year old overweight Australian female I find some of those comments mildly disturbing ...

1. If your attracted to a particular look or nationality admit it instead of comming up with a bs story about how horrible american woman are .... I seriously hope they're not that horrible or Ill never find any friends when my fiance and I get married!!!

2. Its normal to have a criteria on what you seek in a spouse/partner, I do ... and after a couple failed relationships believe me I wasnt gonna budge ... but it needs to be realistic ... eg I want a partner that wants a family and isnt a drinker (social drinks are fine) or drug user (not even the social kind) ... I dont give a toss how much money they make or have in the bank but they have to have future goals ( I dont want someone that sits around playing playstation all day!) ... another vital quality is someone I can communicate with, that is willing to compromise ... I in turn will do the same ... I want someone that is my equal that will take part in making vital decisions ... bottom lines Ive had a tough trot with relationships and I rather be alone then compromise on what I want for myself and my future... Im just blessed that my fiance is everything I want out a partner and more!

3. By the time you hit your early to mid 30s your going to have baggage ... you have to have been living under a rock if you dont have some sort of history... My sweetheart certainly has! which means a lot of decisions had to be made over our 4 year relationship ... Deciding whether we would live in Australia or America was strongly influenced by this baggage ... In the end we decided the best thing was to get married and I come and live in the states.... wereas we would have had a lot more opportunities in Australia ...

4. Seriously I dont know why anyone would go thru this experience 2,3,4 times ... I would do it a 1000 times for Shay, his worth every stressful second and all the hairpulling but would I do it for anyone else having gone thru this already, not only no but HELL NO!

End of the day you do whatever you want to do ... but bottom line is if you want to find a life partner I think you seriously need to do a bit of soul searching and decide exactly what you want out of life and from your spouse .... My sister is married to a man from the philippines and unless you keep them locked up and away from western influences theyre going to become very westernised very very very quickly and before you know it your going to be spending all your spare weekends building a cupboard for all those Louis vuitton bags and matching stilleto ...

Besides hasnt anyone told you woman like pretty bags and shoes? Sheesh everyone knows that ... LOL

Good luck finding your true love ... and I hope shes as special to you as my guy is to me ..

[Brad and Vika 129]

LOL .. I cant believe I actually read this entire thread ...

Being a 37 year old overweight Australian female I find some of those comments mildly disturbing ...

1. If your attracted to a particular look or nationality admit it instead of comming up with a bs story about how horrible american woman are .... I seriously hope they're not that horrible or Ill never find any friends when my fiance and I get married!!!

2. Its normal to have a criteria on what you seek in a spouse/partner, I do ... and after a couple failed relationships believe me I wasnt gonna budge ... but it needs to be realistic ... eg I want a partner that wants a family and isnt a drinker (social drinks are fine) or drug user (not even the social kind) ... I dont give a toss how much money they make or have in the bank but they have to have future goals ( I dont want someone that sits around playing playstation all day!) ... another vital quality is someone I can communicate with, that is willing to compromise ... I in turn will do the same ... I want someone that is my equal that will take part in making vital decisions ... bottom lines Ive had a tough trot with relationships and I rather be alone then compromise on what I want for myself and my future... Im just blessed that my fiance is everything I want out a partner and more!

3. By the time you hit your early to mid 30s your going to have baggage ... you have to have been living under a rock if you dont have some sort of history... My sweetheart certainly has! which means a lot of decisions had to be made over our 4 year relationship ... Deciding whether we would live in Australia or America was strongly influenced by this baggage ... In the end we decided the best thing was to get married and I come and live in the states.... wereas we would have had a lot more opportunities in Australia ...

4. Seriously I dont know why anyone would go thru this experience 2,3,4 times ... I would do it a 1000 times for Shay, his worth every stressful second and all the hairpulling but would I do it for anyone else having gone thru this already, not only no but HELL NO!

End of the day you do whatever you want to do ... but bottom line is if you want to find a life partner I think you seriously need to do a bit of soul searching and decide exactly what you want out of life and from your spouse .... My sister is married to a man from the philippines and unless you keep them locked up and away from western influences theyre going to become very westernised very very very quickly and before you know it your going to be spending all your spare weekends building a cupboard for all those Louis vuitton bags and matching stilleto ...

Besides hasnt anyone told you woman like pretty bags and shoes? Sheesh everyone knows that ... LOL

Good luck finding your true love ... and I hope shes as special to you as my guy is to me ..

Well put

[MsZ 6]

At least you have your sarcasm to lend to the discussion. Don't know where the rest of us would be without it. My life is indeed enriched.

Alas, sarcasm is all that I have to offer Honestly though, it is all in good fun and I do not mean to offend. It seems to me that sometimes we think too hard about topics like how to choose a mate. Everybody has there own set of preferences and baggage - but if we are lucky, our second half appears anyway. If we are truly lucky we notice that person in spite of our preconceptions.

Cheers!

True. Apart from the fact that I noticed that my now husband was attractive, he was not someone I was particularly interested in at first. But luckily, instead of making my usual set of mistakes, I changed tack and made an entirely new set!

Honestly though, I think people don't spend enough time thinking about something as important as how to choose a mate.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

OHAI!!!

just dropped in to say I am really proud of y'all for keeping this ####### rehad going. Love you all

[Craneman 2]

There is no reason to put all American women in one category no matter what you have gone through with a few. I repeat, it has nothing to do with being from a certain country, its about being a woman and if you can't take care of them the way you want your expectations to be met, they will leave eventually. Maybe a little introspection is what you need before you jump into another relationship. Try to find out why women don't stay with you rather than shopping for another one just to have a baby. You might find that its not all women's faults that they don't stick around. After all no matter what, 3 K1s is a lot of baggage and if a woman is very easily going to overlook that aspect in your relationship then I really don't know how much she's thinking about her future with you.

Again, many men think as I do, just look at some of the replies on this board alone. SOme men are agreeing with me. A significant majority of Western woman ARE materialistic to a degree and when the man cant foot a certain lifestyle, or doesnt make enough $$, she will divorce you. FIlipinas just arent that way.

Secondly, LOL, I have no problems with woman wanting to stay with me. In fact, every girlfriend here in the US I have dated would have married me . But I was too much of a playboy back then. I even have a few x GF here who would love to marry me. But they are not my type. The girls in the philippines who backed out, again, they were too young and I took that risk of going for girls so young who may not be ready to settle down like they may have thought they were. The first one admitted to me that it wasnt me, and that she started rethinking about marrying at only 19 yrs old. The 2nd one was a similar deal excpet that her parents seemed to have oput her up to it from the get go(long story I wont go into here now)

Get over yourself, Francis

[MsZ 6]

But if you touch his stuff, he'll kill you!

[Brad and Vika 129]

At least you have your sarcasm to lend to the discussion. Don't know where the rest of us would be without it. My life is indeed enriched.

Alas, sarcasm is all that I have to offer Honestly though, it is all in good fun and I do not mean to offend. It seems to me that sometimes we think too hard about topics like how to choose a mate. Everybody has there own set of preferences and baggage - but if we are lucky, our second half appears anyway. If we are truly lucky we notice that person in spite of our preconceptions.

Cheers!

True. Apart from the fact that I noticed that my now husband was attractive, he was not someone I was particularly interested in at first. But luckily, instead of making my usual set of mistakes, I changed tack and made an entirely new set!

Honestly though, I think people don't spend enough time thinking about something as important as how to choose a mate.

I try not to focus so much on the physical, but I am male, and subject to all the visual/tactile handicaps of my gender. What I notice most about Vika now is her disposition. She is the most even tempered woman I know (thank God, because I am a real grouch sometimes). She centers me a bit, without trying.

Edited February 10, 2009 by Brad and Vika

[dagnytaggart 0]

Lastly, no, I dont HATE American woman. I just think that most will divorce (or not even start dating a man) who doesnt make a certain amount of money. Let me prove my point once and for all

POLL for the ladies, BE HONEST!!

How many American ladies here would date or marry a man who only made $18K /yr as his career job(not due to being a student or similar circumstance)BE HONEST NOW!! .

I gurantee you, 80% of American ladies will say "NO WAY!" . But 90% of Latin or Asian ladies will say "YES WAY, as long as he works, it doesnt matter how much he makes".

Most of you know what Im saying. MONEY does matter with woman here in the US. No one will ever convince me otherwise. I honestly believe that it doesnt matter to most woman in Asian and Latin countries. As long as he has a job and is a good man, they are happy with him. This is probably at the root of why I believe love is for sale in the West. It absolutely shocks me to hear american people think that foreign ladies marry American guys for economic reasons. In some cases it true Im sure, but I believe the exact opposite is true as the study I posted from the US govt link I provided earlier indicates. Its the American ladies who marry or date based on money via a minimum income standard. Its just not openly discussed on dates of course. As the study shows, the foreign girls dont list money as one of their reasons when interviewed about why they are marrying a foreigner. But here in the west, No money, no honey! Ive seen too many friends get burned because they didnt make enough for their wives to stay happy. So yes, I am chapped at what I see go on here compared to what I see when I visted and dated and got to know woman in other countries. WHat an eye opener. Even here in the USA, I noticed this difference when dating foreign americans vs regular american girls.

No one has to agree with me here and I apologize if anyone is offended. Maybe now you know a little more as to why someone feels they prefer to seek a woman overseas. Chastize me if you want, but I cant tell yo how many men feel the same way I do. Any dating mesage board such as plenty of fish.com for example, has tons of men who say the same things about woman in Western countries . Again, I understand that NOT ALL are this way. Its just hard to find the ones who arnt .

You couldn't be more wrong. More times than not I have made much more money than the men I have dated or been involved with. It didn't bother me or them and I never had overinflated expectations and I know many women like this. When my fiancé finally gets here there is no way he is going to make a lot of money. And you know what I have read quite a few posts from women who's SO from another country is having difficulty finding a job at all and they don't seem to be terribly concerned about it. So the USC women on this site contradict what you think of "American" or "Westernized" women. I personally think you just find a strong woman a threat to your masculinity.

[HannahP 119]

Dude, I'm telling ya'all...."they" go for men that most westernized women wouldn't because they don't understand the economics of living the US. At least until they get here. Then they dump their loser husbands for a VAWA.

[Laura+Tom 2]

LOL .. I cant believe I actually read this entire thread ...

I can't believe this thread is still going..

[steve55 0]

Personally, I cannot think of a single female American friend of mine who honestly gives a rat's ####### how much a man is making as long as he is trying to make something of himself and isn't slobbed out on the sofa, watching Cops and America's Dumbest Criminals, in lieu of work. Where all these grasping golddiggers are I have no idea, unless you're trying to pick up 20-year-olds at a pool hall.

Good grief, they are everywhere. Try looking at match.com. have you noticed that OVER HALF of the ladies list min income of 40-50K/yr!! The other 30 % list min income of 70K to 100K. Its everywhere!!! I see it in my friends situations with the ladies. I know several who divorced the man cause his lowered salary due to pay cut at work wasnt enough for her to handle as he couldnt find any other job paying nearly what he was making. I see it all around me, , you can pick up on societies dating requirements. I could go on and on. Its clear as daylight, with only a small number of exceptions.

And about the age comment where someone said American womans dont care about 10 to 15 yr age spreads, most do. Again, I PROMISE YOU!! Read dating sites like match.com, the ladies almost always list their preferred man as being a max of 4 years older. Dating internet sites tell alot about our western woman. Minimum income requirements are overly abundant there, not so much with the foreign ladies who moved to the USA and still have some of their country's value system.

[steve55 0]

Steve - No woman will ever be good enough for you, no matter where she is from. Every word you have written screams of misogyny and I believe that you have some serious self-esteem issues. Steve, from my heart - learn to love yourself first and then you will be ready to accept the love of someone else and return it. Stop looking for a relationship until you are comfortable with yourself first.

Self esteem issues, well, I dont see it. But I am as you say "misogyny" (yes, I looked it up) or pissed off that so many girls here in the US are spoiled brats and are materialistic. Its not just me. I know so many guys who feel the same, (and not due to my prodding), and if you read message board forums on dating sites, you will see many many many men stating the same frustration and disgust with it. I guess this board is full of all the "good girls" then, it may be so as the type of woman involved with overseas marriage are more likely to be much more mature and well grounded than the average american girl. Then again, who would admit to being materililstic or caring about how much a man makes. AT plenty of fish.com there are many woman admitting they wont date a man who doesnt make at least $30K , and how that man would bring her lifestyle down. These woman are over there admitting it all out in the open. So yes, I see it with my own eyes. Even at work last week, I was trying to set up a friend of mine with a co worker's girlsfriend. The first thing my coworker asked about my guyfreind was "what kind of job does he have". I mean come on folks, it never ends, ITS EVERYWHERE!! Most american ladies (NOT ALL) take a man;s income HEAVILY into account instead of his character and values etc. NO thanks, Ill go overseas anyday.

90% of he time, the Foreign ladies dating profile HUMBLY says "looking for a man who will accept me for who I am". Now to me, that is a thing of beauty!!! That is music to my ears. How sweet and humble is that? No mention of money at all, and no demands placed on what that guy must be like or like to do etc, there is no ego in any of that.

Edited February 11, 2009 by steve55

[steve55 0]

The irony in this whole thread is that the American women on this site disprove the 'gold digger' angle at the very least...petitioning men who will likely not 'hit the ground running' and land some swish job. The American women on this site obviously also prove that we are family minded...at least in the husband/wife sense. If the American women here were interested in money and things over quality and creating a life with one man....well hell, there'd be hardly any AW here petitioning foreign men.

I agree. I think the type of woman who will want to petition a foreign man for marriage are the more mature edcuated and well grounded types who fall into that smaller non materialistic category.

I'm personally not offended by your views, because they shout to me a very sad picture...you must have been hellaciously hurt in the past, and for that, I pity you. I hope in this period you find yourself single, you do some soul searching and perhaps some therapy which gets to the bottom of why you are so scared to be with someone who has expectations of you.

Everyone seems to want to make it into some freudian psychobabble. No, I havent had any hurtful past relationships relating to this subject matter. But I started to become this way as I started dating foreign ladies here in Dallas over many years and then especially when I traveled t o the philipinnes and got to know foreign ladies there and over the internet and saw the HUGE differences. Its really quite simple. I value and respect woman who are less selfish and less demanding (compared to the western attitude of "what can he provide for me" or "what has he done for me lately") and I love woman who appreciate what they have and not get upset and dissapointed in what they dont have (because hubby cant make enough). I love woman who have the ability to "accept people for who they are" instead of nagging him for who he is not or what he is not doing right. I cherish humblness and despise egotiosticalness. These polar opposite attitude descriptions are the difference between wetsern and foreign ladies,...YES, THERE ARE EXCPETIONS TO THIS. This has been my personal experience as it has been many guys who have told me the same thing.

Edited February 11, 2009 by steve55