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[WonTanNara 0]

Wontonara - you are right, and I do feel that I have been pretty strong and patient, but when my fiance starts saying that he is going to cancel the visa application if he is still in AP 2 months from now, I break down. I understand that this could take a year, but he is not willing to wait that long. He wants me to come there and he wants to end this waiting game. I understand that at some point we have to make a decision if this continues to drag on, but I am not at the point where I feel like I am ready to stop waiting for AP to be done...he is. I don't know what to do. I can't keep him from calling the embassy and canceling his visa application and I can't force him to do this. I feel so helpless.

Yeah honey I saw your other post about that after I wrote this one. Take a look, oK? I'm so sorry. You're right, you can't control what he says or does. You can only control what you do. Marriage is not easy (been divorced once already myself). It takes a lot of work and above all, patience. After everything you've been through, if he's going to give up this soon, then you can't do anything about it. You know what? If it really comes to that, I think you deserve better. I said this before, you are so young and a year is NOTHING compared to how much time you will have to spend together.

I've come to realize that this AP ####### is a big test. I think God wants to see just how serious we are about each other, because he is about to leave homeland for me, and I am about to take on a huge responsibility both financially and personally. I'm so happy my fiance has handled this wait with grace. Sure he's had his meltdowns and so have I but I'm so proud of him. He's stuck outside of his home country, waiting, waiting, waiting, with no work, no ballet to keep him occupied... it's been so hard on him and yet he always says "Take courage Jen, when God is ready I will have my visa." I want you (and everybody on AP) to experience that kind of support from your SO. I am blessed.

Please Julia, take care of yourself. My heart goes out to you.

[tammy2688 1]

Julia,

I do not believe humans can initiate of continue an amazing thing like love. God is in control, do not give much heart to his outbursts (I had mine as well) In the end, your destiny will be a fulfilling and loving marriage, and a blessed one at that. When he gets frustrated, do not try to fix it yourself, as we humans really cannot do much about our emotions, pray to God to help calm him, and you will see he has calmed himself from the other side of the world without you having to even touch him.

I know this is hard, this is so terribly hard and but I know Julia, that you and your love will enjoy an amazing day when the visa arrives and you will be holding hands and maybe share some tears with all of the disbelief and laughter.

Insha-Allah (God-willing) you and your husband WILL get out of AP and WILL be getting this visa and be reunited.

A sacred thing like a true relationship never dies with quick tempered flares, but lasts and lasts. Pass this time with belief and only belief and I know that very soon these days will be forgotten and he will feel all of this pressure released from his mind and you will be free as well, to love as much as you want live this life the way you wish.

God bless,

Tam