Adjusting to Life in USA

[phewall 0]

Hello All,

We've completed the first part of the "Visa Journey" and my lovely Svetlana is here in the USA with me. Now it seems comes the hard part. She has been here since 1 July and we've gotten married, had a beautiful wedding in Lake Tahoe and are settling in together.

The hard part has come as my bride is feeling down about not having work and worried about her "level" going down as a result. She is 35 and worked very successfully in Moscow as a type of business consultant for taxes and labor laws etc. She has a very nice degree from Moscow University and now feel like it was "wasted" since it may not translate directly over here. Unfortunately as luck would have it, the first two ladies she has encountered (1 from Odessa and 1 from St Petersburg) have relayed mostly negative stories about how they were successful in Russia/Ukraine, but that now they are like "guest workers" in the USA with little prospects for success. Of course this has only brought Svetlana's mood down only more. (Needless to say these very nice ladies have other issues in their relationships which are the true source of their unhappiness).

I'm working now to get some of the basics taken care of like immigration paperwork for AOS, driving lessons, English courses, although she speaks pretty well, etc. I work as an officer in the USMC and we have plenty of money. We live in a nice apartment with palm trees and a swimming pool in Oceanside, CA yet she still feels like she's gone backwards in life because of this job issue.

So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks.

Please feel free to email me at phewall@mac.com and let me hear from you. I can certainly give you more information than I can in this short space.

Thank you all and God Bless you!

James

[Ilya R. 0]

Two words james

Culture Shock

[akdiver 3]

So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks.

My wife was very successful in Russia. She had her own travel agency, worked when and how she wanted, traveled all the time, and had just bought a newly constructed high rise apartment. She too was worried about what she would do once she got here.

She arrived in the middle of July. Fortunately, I was on top of the paperwork and process issues, and the day after she arrived (which was a Sunday), we went to the social security office and applied for her SSN and to the DMV to get a state ID card. Within 2 weeks she had the SSN, and had started working as a volunteer at the local library. This allowed her to get some local business environment and language comfort, and also kept her from getting bored (she volunteered there for about 20 hours per week). It also gave her a local reference to use for her job hunt when the EAD came along. Within a month after arriving, she had her driver's license. Two weeks after that, we got married.

EAD showed up about 4 months after she arrived. By that time, she had already received a couple of job offers (travel agencies and post office). Within a week of having the EAD in hand, she accepted an offer at the local university as an admin assistant. Job was nothing special, pay was nothing special (mid 30s), but benefits were pretty good. It was also a very welcoming, supportive environment - an excellent choice for her overall. She worked there for about two and a half years. During that time, she used the 50% off tuition benefit to earn a master's degree. I also used this benefit to earn a master's degree and used a 100% off tuition benefit to take two semesters of Russian. Within two months of graduating, she has secured a professional job at a major local company, with a substantial salary and even better benefits than she had at the university.

Recap: After 3 years of being in the U.S., she acquired 2.5 years of work experience, earned a master's degree, and acquired professional employment with substantial compensation. However, she was also very motivated and worked very hard. Although she was constantly worried about being able to complete the master's program and find a real job, it really wasn't any trouble for her at all. If your lady is also substantially motivated, I really don't think she should have any problems.

Hope this helps!

akd

Edited October 21, 2008 by akdiver

[franklie 0]

Hello All,

We've completed the first part of the "Visa Journey" and my lovely Svetlana is here in the USA with me. Now it seems comes the hard part. She has been here since 1 July and we've gotten married, had a beautiful wedding in Lake Tahoe and are settling in together.

The hard part has come as my bride is feeling down about not having work and worried about her "level" going down as a result. She is 35 and worked very successfully in Moscow as a type of business consultant for taxes and labor laws etc. She has a very nice degree from Moscow University and now feel like it was "wasted" since it may not translate directly over here. Unfortunately as luck would have it, the first two ladies she has encountered (1 from Odessa and 1 from St Petersburg) have relayed mostly negative stories about how they were successful in Russia/Ukraine, but that now they are like "guest workers" in the USA with little prospects for success. Of course this has only brought Svetlana's mood down only more. (Needless to say these very nice ladies have other issues in their relationships which are the true source of their unhappiness).

I'm working now to get some of the basics taken care of like immigration paperwork for AOS, driving lessons, English courses, although she speaks pretty well, etc. I work as an officer in the USMC and we have plenty of money. We live in a nice apartment with palm trees and a swimming pool in Oceanside, CA yet she still feels like she's gone backwards in life because of this job issue.

So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks.

Please feel free to email me at phewall@mac.com and let me hear from you. I can certainly give you more information than I can in this short space.

Thank you all and God Bless you!

James

James,

There is a substantial Russian/ FSU community in the La Mesa area of SD. In addition there is a Russian bookstore on Lake Murray Blvd which also sells sundries from that area of the world. I realize that Oceanside is about 45minutes from La Mesa but if your wife could network in that community that may assist her in "getting her foot in the door". The contacts that I have had with members of the Russian/FSU community in this area have all been highly motivated people.

[hopeful1 0]

Hello All,

We've completed the first part of the "Visa Journey" and my lovely Svetlana is here in the USA with me. Now it seems comes the hard part. She has been here since 1 July and we've gotten married, had a beautiful wedding in Lake Tahoe and are settling in together.

The hard part has come as my bride is feeling down about not having work and worried about her "level" going down as a result. She is 35 and worked very successfully in Moscow as a type of business consultant for taxes and labor laws etc. She has a very nice degree from Moscow University and now feel like it was "wasted" since it may not translate directly over here. Unfortunately as luck would have it, the first two ladies she has encountered (1 from Odessa and 1 from St Petersburg) have relayed mostly negative stories about how they were successful in Russia/Ukraine, but that now they are like "guest workers" in the USA with little prospects for success. Of course this has only brought Svetlana's mood down only more. (Needless to say these very nice ladies have other issues in their relationships which are the true source of their unhappiness).

I'm working now to get some of the basics taken care of like immigration paperwork for AOS, driving lessons, English courses, although she speaks pretty well, etc. I work as an officer in the USMC and we have plenty of money. We live in a nice apartment with palm trees and a swimming pool in Oceanside, CA yet she still feels like she's gone backwards in life because of this job issue.

So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks.

Please feel free to email me at phewall@mac.com and let me hear from you. I can certainly give you more information than I can in this short space.

Thank you all and God Bless you!

James

My wife has been here from France for 3-1/2 months, and is experiencing the same feelings. The trick is for them to stay busy, and also keep in touch with family back home. My wife speaks with and sees her son in France once a week on the pc using SKYPE. Of all the things that help her to feel well, this works wonders. We have also found that there are many French people in Phoenix, so I suggest that you try to find a support group of Russians in yor area for her to interact with.

[phewall 0]

So the bottom line is that I'm looking for anyone out there who has had POSITIVE experiences getting adjusted and beginning their careers in the USA after coming from Russia. I know that if she can see some positive examples of ladies who have transistioned successfully that will really help her outlook and hopefully she can get some constructive advice on what steps she can take to attain the success here in this country that she seeks.

My wife was very successful in Russia. She had her own travel agency, worked when and how she wanted, traveled all the time, and had just bought a newly constructed high rise apartment. She too was worried about what she would do once she got here.

She arrived in the middle of July. Fortunately, I was on top of the paperwork and process issues, and the day after she arrived (which was a Sunday), we went to the social security office and applied for her SSN and to the DMV to get a state ID card. Within 2 weeks she had the SSN, and had started working as a volunteer at the local library. This allowed her to get some local business environment and language comfort, and also kept her from getting bored (she volunteered there for about 20 hours per week). It also gave her a local reference to use for her job hunt when the EAD came along. Within a month after arriving, she had her driver's license. Two weeks after that, we got married.

EAD showed up about 4 months after she arrived. By that time, she had already received a couple of job offers (travel agencies and post office). Within a week of having the EAD in hand, she accepted an offer at the local university as an admin assistant. Job was nothing special, pay was nothing special (mid 30s), but benefits were pretty good. It was also a very welcoming, supportive environment - an excellent choice for her overall. She worked there for about two and a half years. During that time, she used the 50% off tuition benefit to earn a master's degree. I also used this benefit to earn a master's degree and used a 100% off tuition benefit to take two semesters of Russian. Within two months of graduating, she has secured a professional job at a major local company, with a substantial salary and even better benefits than she had at the university.

Recap: After 3 years of being in the U.S., she acquired 2.5 years of work experience, earned a master's degree, and acquired professional employment with substantial compensation. However, she was also very motivated and worked very hard. Although she was constantly worried about being able to complete the master's program and find a real job, it really wasn't any trouble for her at all. If your lady is also substantially motivated, I really don't think she should have any problems.

Hope this helps!

akd

AKD,

Thanks for that great post, I appreciate it. I'm curious though. How did your wife get the Master's Degree? Did her degree from Russia transfer directly over so she could jump right into a Masters program? My wife holds degrees from Moscow University in both Business Management and Medical Science. I've always had the impression that her degrees from Russia were not transferable. Your post makes me think I'm mistaken, which would be a good thing! Any info you have would be great. Thanks again.

James

[akdiver 3]

Thanks for that great post, I appreciate it. I'm curious though. How did your wife get the Master's Degree? Did her degree from Russia transfer directly over so she could jump right into a Masters program? My wife holds degrees from Moscow University in both Business Management and Medical Science. I've always had the impression that her degrees from Russia were not transferable. Your post makes me think I'm mistaken, which would be a good thing! Any info you have would be great. Thanks again.

It was fairly trivial.

The first step is to target a university and/or specific degree program you are (she is) interested in. Assuming you're interested in a graduate program (which I would be if I were her), skim through the university catalog and look for the section on sending transcripts from other institutions. Somewhere in there should be a subsection on foreign institutions. Somewhere in THERE it will say something to the effect of they need to be translated and/or evaluated by a credential evaluation service. It will also typically list (or provide a reference to a list) of approved evaluation companies for that specific university. I have attached the list for our local university to this post, so you can can get an idea of what I'm talking about.

Please be aware that these evaluation companies do not "transfer" anything to anywhere, let alone to "a degree in the United States." What they DO is "evaluate" your existing degree and transcript and determine their U.S. equivalents - and then issue a transcript-like document that indicates the results of that evaluation. They do not issue a degree, they do not transfer your credits to any kind of degree program, or do anything beyond an evaluation of your credentials.

It is up to you to do something productive with this evaluation. Your choices are basically:

1). Use the evaluation credential as proof of your education for employers who ask.

2). Use the evaluation credential as a basis for admission or continuation of education with a university.

Note that employers may or may not accept the evaluation as valid. They may have their own "preferred provider" for such services, or may not give any weight to evaluation credentials, no matter who they are from (although this strikes me as unreasonable).

Universities are experienced with this kind of thing and usually have a list of "acceptable" evaluators. If you think you may need to complete an education with a university near you, your first step should be to get their list and see who is on it, and then use someone on that list for your credential evaluation needs.

Note that companies such as ECE generally require a translation of the original transcripts into English!! The university on the other hand did not seem to care (but this may vary). To be successful in this process, I recommend getting at least 4 copies of all transcripts from all institutions. Get one of them professionally translated into English, and get 4 copies of the translation. This gives you one sealed transcript to send to ECE, one to send to the university, one for the licensing board (if necessary) and one to keep for yourself. If you need to deal with more universities or licensing boards, scale up accordingly.

FWIW - our local university had ECE on their list of acceptable credential evaluators, so we used them. We were very happy with the service they provided. Professional, efficient, timely, and useful. They evaluated my wife's foreign transcripts from two different institutions, gave a class by class U.S. equivalent, including title, # of credits and grade. They also evaluated her degrees. This information, along with the original transcripts from the foreign institutions, was sent directly to the university. Using this information as her basis for admission, the university accepted her as a graduate student in a business program, and credited her with having completed two undergraduate degrees and a graduate degree. Since she already had a graduate degree, she was not required to take the TOEFL or GMAT tests (which saved us more than we paid for the ECE evaluation).

She has recently completed the graduate program here at the local university and now the education portion of her resume reads like this:

Education (foreign degrees are U.S. Equivalent shown, as certified by Educational Credential Evaluators, Inc., Milwaukee, WI)

M.S. Subject 4, University, City, State, Month Year.

M.S. Subject 3, University, City, Country, Month Year.

B.B.A. Subject 2, University, City, Country, Month Year.

B.A. Subject 1, University, City, Country, Month Year.

Note the degree type and name for the foreign degrees is as evaluated and determined by ECE, not us (the second master's degree was of course one issued from a local university here in the U.S.). With this on her resume, she got a number of interviews and job offers before getting her current job and before completing her second M.S. locally. Now that she has finished this program and added the local degree to her resume (as shown above) she got plenty of interviews and eventually the job offer she accepted. So far, in no instance has any employer or potential employer questioned the foreign degrees, or the note about foreign degrees being U.S. equivalent shown.

Cheers!

AKDiver

IntlTransCreditInfo.pdf

[slim 1,525]

Another thing you may want her to do is get active in the family center on your base/post. There are plenty of volunteer activities for military wives to get involved in. ESL classes and simply "learning all the acronyms" classes are a big part of being a military wife. (That's a job in and of itself!) They're always looking for help with child care programs or after school stuff, maybe she could even tutor some kids in Russian language.

Ensure she takes a free class (even something like a cooking class) and goes to the gym. The key is keeping her occupied and active. Surely she can't be the only foreign wife around, see if you can introduce her to some of the other foreign women as well. Maybe they'll be able to share some positive stories.

Officer's wives are always responsible for organizing and planning formals, galas and balls, right?

Stress to her how important and valuable her "job" at home is and how much it means to you. She may not be able to be working right away, but as a Marine officer's wife, there's plenty of important work to be done!

[livelife 0]

Eventhough we're not from Russia,it's the same i still adjust to new culture,unable to talk in my own language,maybe once in while,when i got a chance to meet a person speaking my own language.But that is normal...adjusting is hard..but she should accept the fact that she went with you not because of a "career"but to start a family,and starting family entails sacrifice..It's not easy to get a job in the US if you're new here,she needs to take time to look around where she can fit in..during my first months in the US,i was so depressed,i even cry because i miss my family,but then i decided to keep myself busy,i learn how to drive,learn how to cook for my husband so when he gets home tired from work,i would pamper him with care and delicious food that i learned from the food channel..ha..ha..then i joined the sports club and swim and go to the gym and then lastly ,my husband and me go to chruch every Sunday to thank the Lord for the days that passed... I also help my husband budget things ,trying to see how can we save electricity,gas,go to the gorcery store,pay bills for my husband...in time ,she'll find her way,just be patient...what's important is you have each other and tell her to read the newpaper,she can find lots of job offers there..good luck..

[livelife 0]

and of course....find time to call her everyday even when you're at work,..in that way she'll feel that you reallt care about her being alone in the house..

Edited October 22, 2008 by livelife

[A_I_S 0]

I don't think that it's a culture shock, as some posters have mentioned.

My step father had a culture shock when he moved from Moscow to the States...that was in 93, before Moscow streets were full of Benzes, Jeep Cherokees and everything else. The main reason here is simple boredom because she is not doing anything. My first reaction, when I read your post, was "what a hell took you so long to file for EAD" (more or less literally...it's already almost November, and you got married in July...your EAD paperwork should have been sent in months ago). Anyway, that issue aside, it's basically the main problem for K1/K3 wives. Got an older gentleman at work who overheard me and my brother in law speak Russian at work, he stopped by...he brought his fiancee here, now she's miserable because she doesn't speak English and can't work. We sent him all the invitations to all the Russian outings, to get her acclimitised.

1. Get her volunteering and taking English classes. She should not be sitting around at home while you're at work, watching TV/worrying/being bored. She should be leaving the house same time you do and coming back home around the same time.

2. Get her involved in local Russian community, but it's a fine balance line. A lot of people, when faced with situation like hers, will simply find a rut they're comfortable in and just stay there. You see this with Chinese students at US colleges who live in all-Chinese dorms or floors, and in the Little Russia in major metropolitan areas. Store clerks in the Russian store...those ladies simply picked up their stuff at the local Russian bazaar, got on the airplane, came here and came to the local Russian bazaar in the US, it's like they never left Russia. I'd say don't let her get involved all the way, at least not until she's comfortable with her life in the US. If you just tell her to go spend time with the Russians she could simply end up spending all her time there and not going anywhere.

3. Converting her diploma. There are companies that do this, we'll need to do this as well (I got contacts in DC that do this, Lena will be here in about a month so we'll do it then). A BS from Russian university typically translates into something like BS + halfway to Masters in the US.

Get her volunteering. Given her education in Russia she'll start networking with people almost instinctively and before you know it she'll be back on her feet.

[Ilya R. 0]

It is a culture shock, the way people live in America and Russia is really day and night. And to add on top of that she felt more useful back in USSR! It might be hard to adjust if she wants to recapture that feeling. Unless strives to it again. Russians are very proud people, especially if they get to a certain plateau. But I agree with some posters that she would need to be around Russians in the beginning to smooth over the transition.

[PJB 0]

How does one get those transcripts from the Russian University? My Husband got his diploma form MGU back in 1975, the USSR days. He said there were never any transcripts or actual diplomas but a document that certified the graduate as a "specialist" in his field. His classes included Marxist economics and Lenin /Marx Theory, etc, which don't have any value or equivalent in the US. Also if we actually can get transcripts do they have to be in a sealed university envelope to be turned in to the American university? How about the translation?

On top of all the immigration paperwork this overwhelming to my brain!

[groovlstk 0]

My wife went through much of the same. She was one of the top interior designers in the huge Grand store in Moscow. When she finally received her green card and started looking for work in the US, she was very discouraged.

First off, never ever ever let her be tempted into doing the easy thing and working for Russian firms in the US. They are ghettos of low pay, no health insurance, and exploitation. I'm speaking in very general terms here, but in my experience most take advantage of illegal Russian immigrants or Russians who can't speak English or who simply lack confidence. I would even go so far as to caution against working for an American firm if her manager happens to be a Russian man.

So sue me.

Second, it sucks to be a new immigrant in this country. Everyone wants to exploit her. If she's offered a job, ask her about her colleagues. My wife had a job offer on her first interview, after her first day of work she discovered that all of her co-workers were illegal immigrants. No wonder they offered her no medical plan or vacation, and the only days off were NYs and xmas.

Lastly, if she's a true professional and loved her career, don't let her settle for anything else. She'll be earning money but ultimately she'll be miserable. Support her while she gets whatever training or accreditation she needs to resume her career here. She may have to start at the bottom of the ladder again, as my wife has had to do, and this will be frustrating, but she'll quickly catch up.

Hope this is helpful.

[A_I_S 0]

How does one get those transcripts from the Russian University? My Husband got his diploma form MGU back in 1975, the USSR days. He said there were never any transcripts or actual diplomas but a document that certified the graduate as a "specialist" in his field. His classes included Marxist economics and Lenin /Marx Theory, etc, which don't have any value or equivalent in the US. Also if we actually can get transcripts do they have to be in a sealed university envelope to be turned in to the American university? How about the translation?

On top of all the immigration paperwork this overwhelming to my brain!

I don't know...the Marx/Lenin theory of economics couldn't do any worse than Bush/McCain theory of Economics.

As far as degree transcripts go...I am a firm believer that college transcripts are only applicable to your first 3 years of employment or improve your chances of landing your first job, but not much after that. Given that, your husband should compile his resume/CV and have a professional correct it (or yourself if you are up to it). I believe that it will count for more than his 33 year old MGU diploma.

If you still want the diploma then you need to write to MGU and request the transcripts. My mom did that when she needed her papers (although that was only 13 years ago).

Once you have the transcript you need to pay a company that specializes in college degree translations. You basically send them your transcript and they convert all the courses and grades from USSR/Russia style into US-accepted (and understood) style and basically assign you a US-equivalent degree. A graduate of USSR/Russia university more or less always gets a Bachelors, and sometimes even a Masters (even if he just did a regular 5 year Bachelors in USSR).

We're planning on doing that once Lena gets here (since she just graduated last year). I can't tell you right now what those companies are called but my family has friends in DC who work with them, so I've been putting that off. I can find out if you are really interested.