Is your spouse the jealous type????

[star_dragon 0]

While the jealously and control stuff may seem endearing now, just be sure it's something that you're prepared to live your whole life with. Being raised as a woman in America, I would think it would be difficult to maintain that sort of lifestyle in the long run. Of course, this doesn't apply to everyone, but it's just something that really needs to be thought long and hard about. The novelty of the situation may wear off quickly.

PUNKY BREWSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry..just had to say that Jenn!

Ok..the jealousy thing...Well, my fiance can be jealous at times, but nothing unreasonable. In the beginning, yes there were a couple of things, but I was honest with him and told him what pushed my limits and he started to back off. I mean, male friends, yes, he worries sometimes. But I dont have many anymore and I dont go out to lunch or the movies with them like I used to. Not because he asked me not to, but cause I didn't feel the need. I'm in a relationship now, and I barely have free time anyway. But he knows who my male friends are. I had a couple that were exes in the past and those he had problems with but I cant blame him, so I dont talk to them anymore. I'm the jealous type too and had issues with my ex husband and all his female friends (some which I ended up finding out lead to bad things)

But as far as my time here, he respects it. He respects my need to go out with friends and relax. He respects girlie time. He respects that I need time for myself too.

Now..bellydancing - that was another story. I was taking lessons, which was cool and fun. Bellydance lessons - ok. Student show - fine..he was proud of me! Performing at a restaurant just for fun - NOT OK We didn't talk for almost a month on that one He understands that bellydancers are not viewed the same way they are there....but he still didn't like the concept of his "wife as a bellydancer"....sigh...

[Sandrila 1]

My ex has come to the house I think three times since my husband arrived. I don't think he's jealous but then I don't know how I'd know unless I outright asked him. I guess since I don't know then maybe he isnt?

Anyhoo what I LOVE now is that when a man comes to the door he jumps up to get it while me and the girls wait to hear who it is, etc. Recently I had a very shady guy come to the house to collect an oil bill. Well he was this big burly guy that I'd normally be scared of considering he's a bill collector and all, and he rang the doorbell about 15 times! No joke! My husband is VERY blunt and to the point so when he opened the door he IMMEDIATELY confronted the man and said, "why do you ring the doorbell 15 times like that?" The guy was taken aback and said, "what?" (as if making like he didn't know what he did would automatically erase the incident ) and my husband said, "ring a doorbell ONCE. More than once is RUDE. Here is your money now leave us alone!"

He's very sharp with his words and is no doormat to anyone whereas I would have been walked all over on by that guy.

Also in work (ok this is so OT but I have to share) this one worker who he helps out was standing around so he said "can I help you with anything?" so instead of turning around and saying "no thank you" she didn't even look at him and shoo shoo'd him with her hands and arms. He later on went over to her and confronted her saying "please don't do that to me again". Again she said, "do what?", and he said "when you shoo'd me away after I asked to help you....I'm not a fly, I'm a human being and deserve to be treated with respect".

I love my husband!

NO MEN BETTER EVER STEP FOOT IN MY HOME!

[bassel15 0]

Once again I am glad to see that alot of our men are the same....I did not say ALL, I said some

well you can call it jealousy or can call it just plain old fashioned requesting of respect

I am sorry from the experience I have had here in USA, being an American wife or SO and now being the wife of a Moroccan Muslim

TOTALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DIFFERENT

we go round and round with this nearly everday...it gets tiring

If he were HERE, somethings would be different but the alot of requirements would remain the same

I have an ex too...and it is so unusual for him to cross any lines with me..once we were finished, WE WERE FINISHED

even it it was painful and hard to get over, regardless, he recently called when I was online with hubby and we talked for an usual amount of time, and he was drinking and he "went there" with me about alot of issues...of course I had to tell my husband..he was present with me. He understands basic communication due to the children

So my husband has a hard time accepting our very lax ways of life around here

I know fully how "laid back" our men are here as far as our socialization, friendships and outings with other men

things that men here wouldnt bat an eyelash at or think twice about and feel intimated by are just not the same with my man

I am a social girl too

a lot of friends and aquaintances and a very social career

it has been very restrictive for me

I was ready for a change, I admire the way my man is...but it is hard to accept these limitations fully

absolutely no male friends...I had to give up so many that were dear to me

no going out to bars or clubs at all

I have to be home by "his" reasonable hour..usually 9 pm at the latest

no outside drinking..i mean if i am at my sister's or my friend's house (which is in the same building as me) that is ok

no taking time at all with men, even if work related

due to my past history with experiences with men he doesnt want me to take my old "american ways" with him

I have changed but his rules are really quite unresonable

I too, want to share everythinng with my husband but sometimes it is better for me not to "mention" certain events

I am totally faithful too and lucky to have him but he drives me crazy

it is like being a child and having a FATHER...I adore him and want to be happy

I think alot of it has to do with him never having "seen" my life here

he just imagines all the things he has seen and heard and invisions a sort of "harem" if you will

I agree with him on alot of issues but I need to have some girlfriends and I need to relax unwind and enjoy life

it is the only way I can get thru this hell we are in now

he is just so different from any man I have even known and I try to communicate with him and ease his mind but what he says goes and believe me, even from there he manages to KNOW everything about what I do and

he questions me incessantly

I just cant wait for this AP to be over

I need my husband

we need to be together so we can have NORMAL marriage and he can see that I really am just a good normal woman

living an average life. even being on this site is questionable. sometimes I dont know how to explain anything to him

I'm with you on that too about unreasonable....mine doesnt like for me to wear make-up....he feels that i should wear it just for him when we are home alone....but you see that is something i have loved since a young girl and the day my mom said i could wear it believe me i did....so this is somethign that he understands but says he is jealous when he knows i have come from some place and look really nice....one thing that drives me crazy is that he likes me to call him b4 i go anywhere but i love him so this is something i do for him....since he didnt make me give up my make-up

[caybee 21]

My ex has come to the house I think three times since my husband arrived. I don't think he's jealous but then I don't know how I'd know unless I outright asked him. I guess since I don't know then maybe he isnt?

Anyhoo what I LOVE now is that when a man comes to the door he jumps up to get it while me and the girls wait to hear who it is, etc. Recently I had a very shady guy come to the house to collect an oil bill. Well he was this big burly guy that I'd normally be scared of considering he's a bill collector and all, and he rang the doorbell about 15 times! No joke! My husband is VERY blunt and to the point so when he opened the door he IMMEDIATELY confronted the man and said, "why do you ring the doorbell 15 times like that?" The guy was taken aback and said, "what?" (as if making like he didn't know what he did would automatically erase the incident ) and my husband said, "ring a doorbell ONCE. More than once is RUDE. Here is your money now leave us alone!"

He's very sharp with his words and is no doormat to anyone whereas I would have been walked all over on by that guy.

Also in work (ok this is so OT but I have to share) this one worker who he helps out was standing around so he said "can I help you with anything?" so instead of turning around and saying "no thank you" she didn't even look at him and shoo shoo'd him with her hands and arms. He later on went over to her and confronted her saying "please don't do that to me again". Again she said, "do what?", and he said "when you shoo'd me away after I asked to help you....I'm not a fly, I'm a human being and deserve to be treated with respect".

I love my husband!

Oh, that's sweet, and I can so identify! My husband is respectful to anyone from the start. He is usually cheerful and easygoing, sometimes comedic. But he will not tolerate a work peer or anyone else being dismissive or patronizing toward him. He doesn't raise his voice, but he will tell them very clearly that "this behavior is not acceptable."

[Sandrila 1]

My ex has come to the house I think three times since my husband arrived. I don't think he's jealous but then I don't know how I'd know unless I outright asked him. I guess since I don't know then maybe he isnt?

Anyhoo what I LOVE now is that when a man comes to the door he jumps up to get it while me and the girls wait to hear who it is, etc. Recently I had a very shady guy come to the house to collect an oil bill. Well he was this big burly guy that I'd normally be scared of considering he's a bill collector and all, and he rang the doorbell about 15 times! No joke! My husband is VERY blunt and to the point so when he opened the door he IMMEDIATELY confronted the man and said, "why do you ring the doorbell 15 times like that?" The guy was taken aback and said, "what?" (as if making like he didn't know what he did would automatically erase the incident ) and my husband said, "ring a doorbell ONCE. More than once is RUDE. Here is your money now leave us alone!"

He's very sharp with his words and is no doormat to anyone whereas I would have been walked all over on by that guy.

Also in work (ok this is so OT but I have to share) this one worker who he helps out was standing around so he said "can I help you with anything?" so instead of turning around and saying "no thank you" she didn't even look at him and shoo shoo'd him with her hands and arms. He later on went over to her and confronted her saying "please don't do that to me again". Again she said, "do what?", and he said "when you shoo'd me away after I asked to help you....I'm not a fly, I'm a human being and deserve to be treated with respect".

I love my husband!

NO MEN BETTER EVER STEP FOOT IN MY HOME!

omg the same with my guy

he will totally speak up and speak his mind

what is "his" is his and NO ONE for ANY reason should cross that line

I LOVE MY BABY TOO!!!!!!!!!!

[caybee 21]

Now..bellydancing - that was another story. I was taking lessons, which was cool and fun. Bellydance lessons - ok. Student show - fine..he was proud of me! Performing at a restaurant just for fun - NOT OK We didn't talk for almost a month on that one He understands that bellydancers are not viewed the same way they are there....but he still didn't like the concept of his "wife as a bellydancer"....sigh...

We have had the same talk! I have thought about taking lessons just for fun and exercise, but he would not want me to perform in front of anyone. Not an issue for me, though, because I've never felt comfortable performing anything in public. He's seeing the other side, though. He now realizes ME dancers are usually well respected here and knows I have friends who dance, so that's a whole different ball of wax. He saw some coin belts when we went to the Greek festival the other day and jokingly suggested that I buy one. It wouldn't bother him if I danced at a Moroccan wedding. I sort of doubt it would bother him if I ever participated in an Amazigh dance, the kind with the long, flowing, white dresses that cover, like, pretty much everything. So I think he'd be cool with lessons. Heck, at this point, he'd probably be cool with anything that got my backside off the sofa.

[Sandrila 1]

Once again I am glad to see that alot of our men are the same....I did not say ALL, I said some

well you can call it jealousy or can call it just plain old fashioned requesting of respect

I am sorry from the experience I have had here in USA, being an American wife or SO and now being the wife of a Moroccan Muslim

TOTALLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY DIFFERENT

we go round and round with this nearly everday...it gets tiring

If he were HERE, somethings would be different but the alot of requirements would remain the same

I have an ex too...and it is so unusual for him to cross any lines with me..once we were finished, WE WERE FINISHED

even it it was painful and hard to get over, regardless, he recently called when I was online with hubby and we talked for an usual amount of time, and he was drinking and he "went there" with me about alot of issues...of course I had to tell my husband..he was present with me. He understands basic communication due to the children

So my husband has a hard time accepting our very lax ways of life around here

I know fully how "laid back" our men are here as far as our socialization, friendships and outings with other men

things that men here wouldnt bat an eyelash at or think twice about and feel intimated by are just not the same with my man

I am a social girl too

a lot of friends and aquaintances and a very social career

it has been very restrictive for me

I was ready for a change, I admire the way my man is...but it is hard to accept these limitations fully

absolutely no male friends...I had to give up so many that were dear to me

no going out to bars or clubs at all

I have to be home by "his" reasonable hour..usually 9 pm at the latest

no outside drinking..i mean if i am at my sister's or my friend's house (which is in the same building as me) that is ok

no taking time at all with men, even if work related

due to my past history with experiences with men he doesnt want me to take my old "american ways" with him

I have changed but his rules are really quite unresonable

I too, want to share everythinng with my husband but sometimes it is better for me not to "mention" certain events

I am totally faithful too and lucky to have him but he drives me crazy

it is like being a child and having a FATHER...I adore him and want to be happy

I think alot of it has to do with him never having "seen" my life here

he just imagines all the things he has seen and heard and invisions a sort of "harem" if you will

I agree with him on alot of issues but I need to have some girlfriends and I need to relax unwind and enjoy life

it is the only way I can get thru this hell we are in now

he is just so different from any man I have even known and I try to communicate with him and ease his mind but what he says goes and believe me, even from there he manages to KNOW everything about what I do and

he questions me incessantly

I just cant wait for this AP to be over

I need my husband

we need to be together so we can have NORMAL marriage and he can see that I really am just a good normal woman

living an average life. even being on this site is questionable. sometimes I dont know how to explain anything to him

I'm with you on that too about unreasonable....mine doesnt like for me to wear make-up....he feels that i should wear it just for him when we are home alone....but you see that is something i have loved since a young girl and the day my mom said i could wear it believe me i did....so this is somethign that he understands but says he is jealous when he knows i have come from some place and look really nice....one thing that drives me crazy is that he likes me to call him b4 i go anywhere but i love him so this is something i do for him....since he didnt make me give up my make-up

i dont want anyone here to think I am " ok" with all of this

Somethings yes, somethings NO and I dont sit back and take it

BUT BUT AND BUT

HE IS MY HUSBAND

I do my best to appease him reasonably

my husband will call before during and after and sometimes demanding to talk to "who I said" i was with

just checking up on me??? I dont like it

having to verify what I say thru my friends...going too far I think

I just need to vent

I am sorry

[star_dragon 0]

Now..bellydancing - that was another story. I was taking lessons, which was cool and fun. Bellydance lessons - ok. Student show - fine..he was proud of me! Performing at a restaurant just for fun - NOT OK We didn't talk for almost a month on that one He understands that bellydancers are not viewed the same way they are there....but he still didn't like the concept of his "wife as a bellydancer"....sigh...

We have had the same talk! I have thought about taking lessons just for fun and exercise, but he would not want me to perform in front of anyone. Not an issue for me, though, because I've never felt comfortable performing anything in public. He's seeing the other side, though. He now realizes ME dancers are usually well respected here and knows I have friends who dance, so that's a whole different ball of wax. He saw some coin belts when we went to the Greek festival the other day and jokingly suggested that I buy one. It wouldn't bother him if I danced at a Moroccan wedding. I sort of doubt it would bother him if I ever participated in an Amazigh dance, the kind with the long, flowing, white dresses that cover, like, pretty much everything. So I think he'd be cool with lessons. Heck, at this point, he'd probably be cool with anything that got my backside off the sofa.

In the midst of the fighting, I just wanted to ask him "Well, geez, was I at least any good!??" (there's a vid recording of it) If we're gonna fight about it and it's going to be my (very short) career-ending performance, I at least wanna go out with a bang"

BTW, you should totally take lessons..it's so much fun!

[caybee 21]

Now..bellydancing - that was another story. I was taking lessons, which was cool and fun. Bellydance lessons - ok. Student show - fine..he was proud of me! Performing at a restaurant just for fun - NOT OK We didn't talk for almost a month on that one He understands that bellydancers are not viewed the same way they are there....but he still didn't like the concept of his "wife as a bellydancer"....sigh...

We have had the same talk! I have thought about taking lessons just for fun and exercise, but he would not want me to perform in front of anyone. Not an issue for me, though, because I've never felt comfortable performing anything in public. He's seeing the other side, though. He now realizes ME dancers are usually well respected here and knows I have friends who dance, so that's a whole different ball of wax. He saw some coin belts when we went to the Greek festival the other day and jokingly suggested that I buy one. It wouldn't bother him if I danced at a Moroccan wedding. I sort of doubt it would bother him if I ever participated in an Amazigh dance, the kind with the long, flowing, white dresses that cover, like, pretty much everything. So I think he'd be cool with lessons. Heck, at this point, he'd probably be cool with anything that got my backside off the sofa.

In the midst of the fighting, I just wanted to ask him "Well, geez, was I at least any good!??" (there's a vid recording of it) If we're gonna fight about it and it's going to be my (very short) career-ending performance, I at least wanna go out with a bang"

BTW, you should totally take lessons..it's so much fun!

That's great!

[sereia 0]

My husband is definitely what you would consider a "jealous type".

[morocco4ever 63]

Some of the posts here do worry me. I hope you are prepared to deal with it, I know I wouldn't. But it is all in what we can handle personally, so what shoe fits me might not someone else.

My husband did show some jealousy, but not excessive. He did say at the beginning that no man is allowed in the house when he is not there. He also said that at work lunches I am not to sit next to any males. Well lets just say that is unreasonable, and I made sure he knew this from day one. Think about it, I have a great job with good pay. I am sitting, my boss sits in the seat next to me. How should I react? Get up and move seats? How stupid is that? Let's also talk about repairmen. I have a flexible job, so I can on occasions work from home when necessary. If my husband can not take time off work to be there who is going to let them in?

Protecting the wife is fine, but isolating her is rediculous, and frankly it would piss me off.

To the OP, you do have to have a relationship with your ex due to the fact that you have children together, and that needs to be made clear to your husband. On the other hand playing around and goofing off is probably taking it too far. If this upsets your husband then it is up to you to draw the line with the ex. That is not unreasonable.

My husband has been here long enough now that we can laugh about what he expected previously. He now sees that what he expected isn't feasible, and is no where near what was starting to worry me at one time. But this is MY husband, and not all are going to come here and accept it. So be prepared.

[chaishai 1]

Hey guys just was wondering if your hubby is the jealous type? I know that if you really love someone it is normal to have some jealousy. I share everything with my husband I mean everything that happens because if I dont I feel like Im keeping things from him....like the other day my ex was playing around with me something he never use to do i mean since we have been divored....and all of a sudden he has started being so nice and talkative....which i find strange so i mentioned this to my husband he was not happy yes i know i cant blame him....but i dont even understand what is going on....you know its not long before my husband's interview and i have no clue whats going to happen my baby comes here which im hoping for that or i move there which im okay with that as well....and that is something i had to talk to my ex about being that we share two children...so what do you guys think....and please share about the jealousy thing too....now i know that most men in the USA are not too jealous at least not the ones i have none....and my ex never really minded if men talked to me so over the years i made some male friends well those that you meet during your children's baseball and basketball games....school.... or through work well you guys know what i mean.....anyways im worried about what my husband will think when he is with me one day and sees and hears men say hello to me....i already know he will not like it sooooooo....so let me know your outlook on all this and thanks in advance...

My husband (who is sephardic/north african so i think counts in this discussion) is rarely jealous about other men etc. He gets jealous when I do something for my health like run a race and he sits around lazy. Hes happy for me but it makes him depressed for himself. He never gets jealous when I go out with my friends he just tells me to have fun. He has never said anything about my clothes. He never worries about other guys, he knows he can trust me. I cant imagine if I had to deal with crazy jealousy I would go nuts.

[thebigyard 0]

some people define jealousy as a true sign of emotion and love not just another of way of control! arab men if they re in love they do get jealous about their wives! and they want their wives to be jealous too!! its the culture, and i guess if u wanna marry someone from this kinda of culture u kinda need to embrace it! as it is essential. one more thing if ur husband/fiancee isnt jealous at all it only means too things, whether he trusts u an incredible amount or he doesnt love u at all! or doesnt care and hes just using u! i know those words must be harsh! thats my experience anyway... I thought my simo was controlling by his jealousy and i remmeber once we were walkin in the city centre in london, and this guy winked at me, and simo saw it, he got really red and angry he went back pushed the guy in an empty alley and was about to break his teeth, while saying you!! HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO MY GIRL!!! to be honnest i got scared, but at the same time i knew only one thing that if he didnt love me he wudnt do that, he'll just ignore it.... few months down the line, i complained to simo about his jealousy, he understood it, and he gave me EXACTLY what i wanted, and guess what, i wasnt happy i wanted his freaky jealousy back, bcoz he was tooooo damn protective and sexy at the same time! Jealousy is not a mean of control, is just that arab guys take too much pride in their women and they just cant stand if other men around them!! Jealousy is another way to express love....well at least in arab men's dictionary!!

peace alllll

[~Jackie~ 30]

Ibrahim is not jealous.

So what you are saying Bigyard ...he either trusts me alot or doesn't love me at all.

Jealousy is a way to express love? You really think that?

jJ

[Muh and me 18]

Ibrahim is not jealous.

So what you are saying Bigyard ...he either trusts me alot or doesn't love me at all.

Jealousy is a way to express love? You really think that?

jJ

Ya really. kamal either!