A year apart

[Perseverance 1]

Sylvia, I just weep for you

[kk_mine 0]

You have seen him so I know that makes it harder for you! I told my fiance how you felt and how I feel the same. I went shopping and heard these two men talking. I thought they were from Africa but not sure. I miss him so much and I pay more attention to people I see from his country.

Its so bad when I go to the oriential market I see men from his country and I just glance at them thinking of him. So I asked the man where he was from and when he said Nigeria I was so happy!

He was really nice and we talked a long time and he said I have heard of relationships like this but you are the first I have met. After talking to me he said he was very happy that he sees that we talk about things (open communication etc..). As he said at first he had reservations about relationships like mine but now he does not. When he was leaving I did not want to stop talking to him as it made me feel better speaking to someone from my SO country & made me think of him even more.

Then when I got in the car I just cried all the way home. I talked to my SO that nite and cried more. When I hear his voice I just savor the moment. He encourages me a lot!!! I tell him that he keeps me going! Its so hard as my family in the states is so far away. If they were here it would help some.

I had to wake back up around 2am as I would have a chance to talk to his uncle for the first time. I spoke to the uncle and then as the phone was passed back to my SO he told me what our uncle thought of me and my tears began all over again. I'm really close to all the family (7brothers & sisters, his parents) I keep in touch with all of them. When I talk to them I cry after our convo as I miss them all so much!!! The pain is undescribable!

He can't make it to the cafe as well & that is hard for me. He has a lot of emails from me (and at times my mom) and new pics but he is saving up to go as he does not have the money now. So calls and text are the only way of communication.

During the day whenever he thinks of me he will just ring my phone then hang up (as he does not have much to call me). When he does that my heart drops and I say to myself I'm, thinking of you too. In his culture I will be a wife to the entire family so to speak. So his brothers will ring my phone as well and even though that is something small to the average person but to me it means the world! B/c I know they are thinking of me and they are looking out for their brothers soon to be wife. When my SO or the brothers ring my phone I cry like a baby!!!

I try to think of the positive things like being together and happy that we have each other. I'm getting better but I do have my Hard days. The more we are apart the tougher it gets. So I wish you the best & prayer,family and friends that understand have really been there for me! As a friend just told me the other day our life will not start until he gets off the plane and comes to me. I'm waiting for that day.....

You take care of yourself & wishing you both the best!

[corinne from oz 0]

We have been apart for a year and thanks to the stupidity of the embassy there is no end in sight for us. It has been very rough at times especially in the last months. I will be traveling soon for a month which will help. The one year since filing will pass while I am there. I really hate all this waiting and find I am having trouble keeping a positive look on things. It has been so draining on the whole family. There are good moments like my grandson being released from the hospital but there are so many things Joseph is missing . My sons graduation is coming soon. He missed the younger ones graduation in June. This whole process is just so inhuman and degrading. How do you all cope.

Don't cope...Fight it! Its not fair!

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

You have seen him so I know that makes it harder for you! I told my fiance how you felt and how I feel the same. I went shopping and heard these two men talking. I thought they were from Africa but not sure. I miss him so much and I pay more attention to people I see from his country.

Its so bad when I go to the oriential market I see men from his country and I just glance at them thinking of him. So I asked the man where he was from and when he said Nigeria I was so happy!

He was really nice and we talked a long time and he said I have heard of relationships like this but you are the first I have met. After talking to me he said he was very happy that he sees that we talk about things (open communication etc..). As he said at first he had reservations about relationships like mine but now he does not. When he was leaving I did not want to stop talking to him as it made me feel better speaking to someone from my SO country & made me think of him even more.

Then when I got in the car I just cried all the way home. I talked to my SO that nite and cried more. When I hear his voice I just savor the moment. He encourages me a lot!!! I tell him that he keeps me going! Its so hard as my family in the states is so far away. If they were here it would help some.

I had to wake back up around 2am as I would have a chance to talk to his uncle for the first time. I spoke to the uncle and then as the phone was passed back to my SO he told me what our uncle thought of me and my tears began all over again. I'm really close to all the family (7brothers & sisters, his parents) I keep in touch with all of them. When I talk to them I cry after our convo as I miss them all so much!!! The pain is undescribable!

He can't make it to the cafe as well & that is hard for me. He has a lot of emails from me (and at times my mom) and new pics but he is saving up to go as he does not have the money now. So calls and text are the only way of communication.

During the day whenever he thinks of me he will just ring my phone then hang up (as he does not have much to call me). When he does that my heart drops and I say to myself I'm, thinking of you too. In his culture I will be a wife to the entire family so to speak. So his brothers will ring my phone as well and even though that is something small to the average person but to me it means the world! B/c I know they are thinking of me and they are looking out for their brothers soon to be wife. When my SO or the brothers ring my phone I cry like a baby!!!

I try to think of the positive things like being together and happy that we have each other. I'm getting better but I do have my Hard days. The more we are apart the tougher it gets. So I wish you the best & prayer,family and friends that understand have really been there for me! As a friend just told me the other day our life will not start until he gets off the plane and comes to me. I'm waiting for that day.....

You take care of yourself & wishing you both the best!

I have gone to several of the Nigerian events locally with his relative here Philip. It is nice being with others from there. But it is not the same as being with him. I am leaving in less than a month. It will be nice to be with him again and see the childern who all call me Auntie America. Staying in his village is like falling off the face of the earth it is so quite and peaceful. I will get to meet more of his siblings this time as his father died in August and they haven't had the burial yet. Last time I only got to meet 8 of them or so. I hope to meet the other half this time. ( His father had multiple wives ) His family is quite poor, several of the siblings only have single room places for entire families and a shared non flushing toliet between many households. I am glad I grew up on a farm so I am able to handle most of the experience. I am just hoping that this gets over soon.

[Sylvia_n_Joseph 3]

We have been apart for a year and thanks to the stupidity of the embassy there is no end in sight for us. It has been very rough at times especially in the last months. I will be traveling soon for a month which will help. The one year since filing will pass while I am there. I really hate all this waiting and find I am having trouble keeping a positive look on things. It has been so draining on the whole family. There are good moments like my grandson being released from the hospital but there are so many things Joseph is missing . My sons graduation is coming soon. He missed the younger ones graduation in June. This whole process is just so inhuman and degrading. How do you all cope.

Don't cope...Fight it! Its not fair!

I am fighting but it is hard at the moment. As long as the embassy hangs on to the paperwork I have no one to sue. I reported what they did to more than one agency but most of them just forward the complaints to USCIS.

[kk_mine 0]

Oh by no means will anyone be more important then my SO.. I hope it did not come across that I meant that. I'm just saying that without him just talking to someone that understood and from his country just made me feel better! No1 I meet just in passing will Ever take the place over my baby! I have not been over to see him yet and I hope it will be soon. I'm glad that you are able to visit often! My journey is just starting. WOW! thats cool to know he has such a large family! I have done like others and still think about just moving over there so many times. Sorry to know that his father died! My papa in Africa as far as a father is all I have. I lost my birth father last year and my dad (step dad) last year as well. So I always look after papa how is his doing when I call him etc... Or one time he would not eat when he was sick but he took meds and I called to encourage him to eat. My SO said my call gave papa a boost! I can't wait to visit my 2nd home soon for the first time ever!

I have gone to several of the Nigerian events locally with his relative here Philip. It is nice being with others from there. But it is not the same as being with him. I am leaving in less than a month. It will be nice to be with him again and see the childern who all call me Auntie America. Staying in his village is like falling off the face of the earth it is so quite and peaceful. I will get to meet more of his siblings this time as his father died in August and they haven't had the burial yet. Last time I only got to meet 8 of them or so. I hope to meet the other half this time. ( His father had multiple wives ) His family is quite poor, several of the siblings only have single room places for entire families and a shared non flushing toliet between many households. I am glad I grew up on a farm so I am able to handle most of the experience. I am just hoping that this gets over soon.

Edited October 19, 2008 by kk_mine