Intent to Divorce After AOS is submitted

[morocco4ever 63]

I have seen worse than being called a muppet before. I think he is an inconsiderate jack A$$ to have commented so harshly, and that is much worse than a muppet. Maybe I can finally get suspended, it is my goal.

Sorry, OT.

[Old Dominion 26]

Hello Everyone. My wife's friend came here on a Fiancee visa and near the end of that three month period, he decided to marry his fiancee. She has endured a great deal from this man and now after three months of marriage, he has informed her that he has decided he will divorce her and "make" her go back to Russia. His excuse is that his brother has been single again and has been having a great time as a bachelor again. Somehow they have decided it would be so much better if the husband was single again. We know this lady very well. She takes care of his grandchild daily. She cooks, she cleans, she does everything while she waits for her AOS to be completed and her work permit and green card be approved. Now it seems that this man will try to do his best to force her to return to Russia. She has given up everything in her former life to come here. My wife knows her very well and the situation she has had to deal with. Can anyone offer some advice on this matter? I understand that if she had her green card, she could file for a waiver as she definitely entered this marriage in good faith.

Any advice or thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. My wife and I have been together now for 8 years and I feel very lucky to have such a great lady. She is very close to her friend and I hope we can help her find a solution other than having to be deported through no fault of her own.

Much appreciation for any expertise in this area. Thanks.

Fireman

I am surprised that no one ever suggests contacting the many faith-based organizations that assist people in these situations, churches in particular. Among the best of course is the Catholic church, and its help is provided on humanitarian principles to anyone no matter their religious affiliation or lack thereof.

[justashooter 430]

Hello Everyone. My wife's friend came here on a Fiancee visa and near the end of that three month period, he decided to marry his fiancee. She has endured a great deal from this man and now after three months of marriage, he has informed her that he has decided he will divorce her and "make" her go back to Russia. His excuse is that his brother has been single again and has been having a great time as a bachelor again. Somehow they have decided it would be so much better if the husband was single again. We know this lady very well. She takes care of his grandchild daily. She cooks, she cleans, she does everything while she waits for her AOS to be completed and her work permit and green card be approved. Now it seems that this man will try to do his best to force her to return to Russia. She has given up everything in her former life to come here. My wife knows her very well and the situation she has had to deal with. Can anyone offer some advice on this matter? I understand that if she had her green card, she could file for a waiver as she definitely entered this marriage in good faith.

Any advice or thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. My wife and I have been together now for 8 years and I feel very lucky to have such a great lady. She is very close to her friend and I hope we can help her find a solution other than having to be deported through no fault of her own.

Much appreciation for any expertise in this area. Thanks.

Fireman

I am surprised that no one ever suggests contacting the many faith-based organizations that assist people in these situations, churches in particular. Among the best of course is the Catholic church, and its help is provided on humanitarian principles to anyone no matter their religious affiliation or lack thereof.

sorry to hear that your friend is dissapointed, and that her jerk husband is no longer interested. she is in a tough spot, and needs to get an attourney to figure out how to move on. he has a right to divorce at will, just like she does. but i gotta say that i am tired of reading about filing VAWA in cases like this.

we agree that churches may provide solace. unfortunately, they may also provide sanctuary. we do not agree that being told you are fat is grounds for VAWA. we do not agree that being told you may not have a pile of money until you earn it is grounds for VAWA. we do not agree that she gets half of the guy's mercedes. the guy is responsible to feed her, make sure she has decent clothing and a roof till the divorce is done or a judge orders otherwise, and medical care. he cannot imprison her, but he doesn't need to take her anywhere, if he doesn't want to. she has feet, if she wants to leave.

some people do need solace, but nobody deserves sanctuary. some people are fat, and people do need to earn the money they spend. people only deserve what they earn. if they consistently spend money they do not earn, they fall into "hostile dependency", and act out agression in one way or another to counter the disparity in power. it's an inevitable outcome, with invariably negative results. it's why stay at home wives cheat on their husbands, and why college age kids living at home get into trouble. it's also, as evidenced in threads on this forum, why jobless male immigrants cheat on their working wives.

it sounds like the mercedes guy is a jerk. why anybody would marry a guy like this is beyond me. i guess a russian "bullshoot detector" doesn't work when an American throws mercedes chaff. or maybe just any guy was good enough, because the green card was the primary goal, rather than a secondary goal, or better yet, merely a practical expediency.

even so, we are tired of listening to poeple give advice that people abuse VAWA because their feelings are hurt. VAWA is for when your body is hurt. if you have a police report naming the USC as having assaulted and a hospital record to back it up, i will drive you to the VAWA office myself. if you push your husband against the washing machine and he shoves you out of the way to get away from you, i would sooner buy the brooklyn bridge.

this bulletin board has rules about posting information useful in or supportive of immigration fraud. this includes VAWA. anybody who really needs VAWA is already under a social worker's guidance at the reccomendation of the arresting officer.

and as for giving up everything you had to come to America, well it couldn't be much. many people on this board have given up their life savings to import a spouse. some have been taken to the cleaners in the process. doing it without a lawyer, i am out about 4 grand in filings and air fees, cause i was traveling in and out of china on business, anyway. i haven't been to the cleaners yet, so i guess i was lucky on all accounts.

[russian_armenian 4]

Well said, Justashooter. WAVA is indeed abused often. But many decent wifes, while being really abused, have never heard about WAVA while all scamers use it to their advantage.

I have never read WAVA but heard that WAVA is not about physical abuse only. It is also about emotional and financial abuse (or maybe it is not WAVA but just abuse clause for applications after AOS).

I dont agree that in a "normal" family if one earns more has a right to spend more. Family is all about comingling finances, social life and everything. If one intends to have separate financial life, it is ok as long as it is discussed before marriage and not trown as a surprise after marriage because normal, traditional, average person's expectation would be-everything for share. Here is a clear emotional and financial abuse from my point of view. USC is an idiot-he has never intended to be married; he just wanted to have fun (and maybe he would not mind to pay for it). I guess Russian woman was not up for fun only, and USC desire was too strong for a moment...got married, got enough of fun, wants out without any responsibility.

Yes, too many woman (Russian and American and from any other country) get blinded by Rolex and BMW, Mers, etc. because they assume that the man would be willing to share his lifestyle, wealth, etc. We all deep inside want to be Cinderellas. But reality is harsher. Many man have no intention to share their wealth. And it is perfectly fine-they have rights, it is their in a first place. Problem is that they tell directly or indirectly that ...once we get married, I will get you this and that, we will get there and there...So, they promiss but dont have a real intention to deliver. Smart women understand but power of denial is too strong. They just want to believe that they got won a loterry prize in a shape of this handsome, wealthy man. POWER OF DENIAL is very strong.

I feel sorry for this Russian wife because if she is from small city and gave up a good job, it would be very hard to get back to normal (it is not really a Europe and not Moscow where jobs are available-most Europeans would not understand).

The other point, if husband withdrew AOS, she is without status but she still needs to be here to finalize divorce (she needs decree for future even if she decides to go back).

Since she is an accountant, she might want to get some US certificates in bookiping/accounting. If she is to lose immigration case, she will have a strong footing back home with US experience and certs.

Hello Everyone. My wife's friend came here on a Fiancee visa and near the end of that three month period, he decided to marry his fiancee. She has endured a great deal from this man and now after three months of marriage, he has informed her that he has decided he will divorce her and "make" her go back to Russia. His excuse is that his brother has been single again and has been having a great time as a bachelor again. Somehow they have decided it would be so much better if the husband was single again. We know this lady very well. She takes care of his grandchild daily. She cooks, she cleans, she does everything while she waits for her AOS to be completed and her work permit and green card be approved. Now it seems that this man will try to do his best to force her to return to Russia. She has given up everything in her former life to come here. My wife knows her very well and the situation she has had to deal with. Can anyone offer some advice on this matter? I understand that if she had her green card, she could file for a waiver as she definitely entered this marriage in good faith.

Any advice or thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated. My wife and I have been together now for 8 years and I feel very lucky to have such a great lady. She is very close to her friend and I hope we can help her find a solution other than having to be deported through no fault of her own.

Much appreciation for any expertise in this area. Thanks.

Fireman

I am surprised that no one ever suggests contacting the many faith-based organizations that assist people in these situations, churches in particular. Among the best of course is the Catholic church, and its help is provided on humanitarian principles to anyone no matter their religious affiliation or lack thereof.

sorry to hear that your friend is dissapointed, and that her jerk husband is no longer interested. she is in a tough spot, and needs to get an attourney to figure out how to move on. he has a right to divorce at will, just like she does. but i gotta say that i am tired of reading about filing VAWA in cases like this.

we agree that churches may provide solace. unfortunately, they may also provide sanctuary. we do not agree that being told you are fat is grounds for VAWA. we do not agree that being told you may not have a pile of money until you earn it is grounds for VAWA. we do not agree that she gets half of the guy's mercedes. the guy is responsible to feed her, make sure she has decent clothing and a roof till the divorce is done or a judge orders otherwise, and medical care. he cannot imprison her, but he doesn't need to take her anywhere, if he doesn't want to. she has feet, if she wants to leave.

some people do need solace, but nobody deserves sanctuary. some people are fat, and people do need to earn the money they spend. people only deserve what they earn. if they consistently spend money they do not earn, they fall into "hostile dependency", and act out agression in one way or another to counter the disparity in power. it's an inevitable outcome, with invariably negative results. it's why stay at home wives cheat on their husbands, and why college age kids living at home get into trouble. it's also, as evidenced in threads on this forum, why jobless male immigrants cheat on their working wives.

it sounds like the mercedes guy is a jerk. why anybody would marry a guy like this is beyond me. i guess a russian "bullshoot detector" doesn't work when an American throws mercedes chaff. or maybe just any guy was good enough, because the green card was the primary goal, rather than a secondary goal, or better yet, merely a practical expediency.

even so, we are tired of listening to poeple give advice that people abuse VAWA because their feelings are hurt. VAWA is for when your body is hurt. if you have a police report naming the USC as having assaulted and a hospital record to back it up, i will drive you to the VAWA office myself. if you push your husband against the washing machine and he shoves you out of the way to get away from you, i would sooner buy the brooklyn bridge.

this bulletin board has rules about posting information useful in or supportive of immigration fraud. this includes VAWA. anybody who really needs VAWA is already under a social worker's guidance at the reccomendation of the arresting officer.

and as for giving up everything you had to come to America, well it couldn't be much. many people on this board have given up their life savings to import a spouse. some have been taken to the cleaners in the process. doing it without a lawyer, i am out about 4 grand in filings and air fees, cause i was traveling in and out of china on business, anyway. i haven't been to the cleaners yet, so i guess i was lucky on all accounts.

[bhajishah 4]

sounds like he needs to be sent to Russia he thinks he big pimp daddy

[RonnieKris 26]

I appreciate the comments that tried to be helpful very much. Again, thanks. This lady certainly does not deserve to be treated this way. Her husaband appears to be an extremely selfish and self-centered individual. This isn't the case of the girl being a problem. She was an accountant and wants to work. She even accepted a job at Walgreen just to be contributing and not sit at home all day with nothing to do. Her husband just bought himself a rolex, but assured her that she would have to pay her share of the mortgage, utilities and so on. And of course he drives a mercedes but was very unhappy when the bank said that any money loaned for a car would have to be in his name since the lady has no credit history in the USA. The rest of us understand that there is a lot of sacrifices a woman has to make to come here. She leaves her friends, her family, and her life as she knows it. To be treated so poorly speaks so much of the character of this man. I hope someone might have some helpful ideas on this matter. Thanks again.

Fireman

We are only hearing one side of the story.. What if she is actually trying to divorce him, and stay in the US...

[diadromous mermaid 36]

Doubtful that an alien would choose to divorce before AOS is approved.

I appreciate the comments that tried to be helpful very much. Again, thanks. This lady certainly does not deserve to be treated this way. Her husaband appears to be an extremely selfish and self-centered individual. This isn't the case of the girl being a problem. She was an accountant and wants to work. She even accepted a job at Walgreen just to be contributing and not sit at home all day with nothing to do. Her husband just bought himself a rolex, but assured her that she would have to pay her share of the mortgage, utilities and so on. And of course he drives a mercedes but was very unhappy when the bank said that any money loaned for a car would have to be in his name since the lady has no credit history in the USA. The rest of us understand that there is a lot of sacrifices a woman has to make to come here. She leaves her friends, her family, and her life as she knows it. To be treated so poorly speaks so much of the character of this man. I hope someone might have some helpful ideas on this matter. Thanks again.

Fireman

We are only hearing one side of the story.. What if she is actually trying to divorce him, and stay in the US...

[Eagleeye 1]

The point of discussion is not why she wants to stay.It is that she wants to!

[bhajishah 4]

File the waiver of good intent and take the green card, run to little phil town