Its all over. My world has just collapsed.

[dingding 0]

Not sure if any of you read my post in Off Topic. entitled "coping with military separation". Well I have an update. At the end of our conversation yesterday my wife of 17 months, and love of my life. The person I met as a penpal 18 years ago told me that our marriage was over. Although I had suspicions that something was wrong, it came completely out of the blue, via phone, with me in England.

As you can expect I am totally devastated. I don't know what to do or how to cope. Im sure I will post more later, but she pretty much said that she still loves me, im her best friend, she doesn't want to lose me but being alone at her navy school she isn't ready to be married yet. She said that she hasn't been happy in her self for a while (she has lead a pretty traumatic life), and that she has relied on her family all her life and then me. She said that she needs time alone to figure out who she is, what she wants to do and to prove to herself that she can function on her own. She told me that she never could have told me face to face that she is too much of a coward. At least she is honest.

Ive dragged myself into work today somehow, but I cried my eyes out all the way to work on the bus. I don't know what to do, all I know is that it feels like the end of my world. She was my world. I just do not know what to do..

[Jaylen Brit 0]

oh man I am SO sorry to hear this..

Is there no chance you guys can sort things out and grow TOGETHER?

Maybe you can talk some more - I still think going to see her might be worthwhile.. I can't imagine the pain you're in right now tho

I'm sending you some hugs n good thoughts..

[pj1959us 0]

Wow...that is awful and so sorry.

I don't seem to see in your timeline that you have AP??? I would say to get yourself back to US and sort things, but don't know if that is an option for you.

With your wife in the military, doesn't she feel she is going to have the opportunity for all those things she outlined to you anyway?

I don't see how it is necessary to dissolve your marriage and risk happiness at this point. She certainly isn't going to have to "depend" on you while in the military...and she's going to have that time alone, anyway. I'm a bit confused on why she feels the marriage is over, with your situations the way they are....something just isn't sitting right.

I wish you the best and hope you can get things worked out between you.

[Vagina Journey 0]

Theres not much anyone can say to you thats going to make you feel any better at this point. Im sorry to hear this it is a painful thing that most of us at some point in our lives have felt as our wourld has just collapsed... Only words of advice i can say is go threw the emotions as they come, take things day to day and stay strong... Big hugs

[munchkins 0]

So very sorry to hear of this David, apart from trying to contact her to talk things through and try and find out just why she feels this way or even by going back yourself and talk to her face to face, there is not much else I can add. My heart goes out to you that you are having to suffer this while you are so far away from her.

You are among friends on here and we will give you as much support as we can during this time just don't hesitate to ask for it and if you want to rant and rave, then we all understand.

[aussiewench 9]

dnkelly1977

I am sorry that this has happened *hugs*

I know I am not you...but if I was, I would get on a plane and get my azz back over there....'its not over till the fat lady sings'. Fight for your marriage. From reading your other post, you have been back in the UK for some time and this appears to me to of perhaps added to these difficult times with your wife in the military for training.

All the very best to you....I hope somehow that this can work out

Lorelle

Edited May 30, 2006 by aussiewench

[CarolineM 0]

OH! With such a long history...you mustbe devastated. I don't even have any advice.

All I can say is that I am SO incredibly sorry. I hope she will come around...

Sending thoughts your way

[Melo 1]

Jeeeeeeez I just don't know what to say!!! Hang in there mate!!! I hope you make it past this. ((((HUGS))))

[ingjohanna 0]

I wish you the best and hope you can get things worked out between you.

[Fandango 1,439]

I am soooo sorry to hear this, but from the sounds of it, it sounds like she loves you so very much & it's a personal growth issue...which may or may not mean that after all is said and done, she would want to be married to you still. If I were you, i'd get on a plane!!!

It aint over til it's over...go show her how much you love her.

You are down but not out. Fight for your wife!

Edited May 30, 2006 by LisaD

[Ladylethal 12]

I am so sorry to hear this. Hope things will fall into place now.

[Cygnet 0]

I'm sorry to hear this. I don't know what to say but to hang in there. I hope you two will have a chance to talk more about this.

[MichelleandCraig 1]

oh Dave... (F) I remember your story..you were going through this process about the same time we were. I have nothing to say to you except that I'm SO very sorry to hear this, and wish the absolute best for you. I hope that some of the other posters are right, and it can still be worked out. If things don't change, I'm so very glad you are in England where you can get some support. Thinking of you, and those aren't just empty words.... M.

[~Jess~ 0]

im with everyone else that says get ya butt on a plane and go to your wife. a marriage cant be thrown away that easily and tho i dont knw your whole story i see that you have a very long history! go get ya wife!!! best of luck to you!

[TracyTN 237]

I just don't even know what to say, except that I am so very sorry. I know you must be in shock, esp. after how long the two of you have been together and what you must have gone through. I tried to put myself in your shoes, imagining I had just had that conversation with my fiance, and it literally made me sick to my stomach.

I don't know if there is anything we can do for you but we are here to listen. I'm impressed that you're putting one foot in front of the other and working. The routine will help you, even though it feels like it doesn't. Yes at least she was honest, but too bad she couldn't be honest before you were married.