I'm soo JEALOUS

[JanaknJanet 0]

I know it is wrong.. soo wrong.. and I should not be comparing what is happening for me to what is happening to my daughter.. butttt. DAMMMITTT ALLL.. tonite is just the straw that breaks the camels back..

BRIDZILLA... just called all googlie.. . told/ asked me to look at my email... she and her honey just booked their Honeymoon... .. They are going to drive down to San Francisco.. and stay for 3 nights at the Ritz-Carlton SanFrancisco.... soooo Jealous.... ..

I am really feeling wronged ... I know I should be happy for her.. but.. damit. I have been with Jan Longer than she and hers.. granted he is here .. and Jan is "some guy" from the net..... apples to oranges... ..

I dont wish to at all. ever lessen the joy my daughter is having right now.. so i smile and stay excited for her... I dont want to have any resentments.. and what she is going thru is her time.. and its my time too to be the mother of the bride.... ...

Sorry cannot ###### to anyone here.. no one understands.. and if I ###### to Jan.. it only makes him feel bad... and its not his fault.. .. so instead.. ill just slink back to my room.. tail between my legs.. both jealous of her.. and angry at myself for being so.. .. .. .. dont know if i have any more tears for tonite... so will just hide for a bit..

[sarah and hicham 3]

I don't really know what to say to you other than to keep supporting your daughter and be as happy for her as you can be knowing that soon it will be your turn. Try not to let her know you're jealous, I'm sure you won't but it could put a damper on her honeymoon and your relationship. Don't worry your turn is soon! Good luck. It's just a bad day, it will go away.

[Fandango 1,440]

I know it is wrong.. soo wrong.. and I should not be comparing what is happening for me to what is happening to my daughter.. butttt. DAMMMITTT ALLL.. tonite is just the straw that breaks the camels back..

BRIDZILLA... just called all googlie.. . told/ asked me to look at my email... she and her honey just booked their Honeymoon... .. They are going to drive down to San Francisco.. and stay for 3 nights at the Ritz-Carlton SanFrancisco.... soooo Jealous.... ..

I am really feeling wronged ... I know I should be happy for her.. but.. damit. I have been with Jan Longer than she and hers.. granted he is here .. and Jan is "some guy" from the net..... apples to oranges... ..

I dont wish to at all. ever lessen the joy my daughter is having right now.. so i smile and stay excited for her... I dont want to have any resentments.. and what she is going thru is her time.. and its my time too to be the mother of the bride.... ...

Sorry cannot ###### to anyone here.. no one understands.. and if I ###### to Jan.. it only makes him feel bad... and its not his fault.. .. so instead.. ill just slink back to my room.. tail between my legs.. both jealous of her.. and angry at myself for being so.. .. .. .. dont know if i have any more tears for tonite... so will just hide for a bit..

At first I thought this was like a light hearted 'jealous' thing, but I am stunned at the stuff in red.

Suck it up! This is not about you! This is about your daughter! Your wedding will come when it comes, but for now, it has to wait. This is her time and she deserves you to be truly happy for her...Your daughter did not wrong you, do not take your frustration at this process on her, that is just mean and misguided. Why tears? Your daughter is happy and in love as are you. what is there to cry about??????

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I could either be honest or blow sunshine up your azz. *shrug* I went for honest.

Edited May 30, 2006 by LisaD

[sarah and hicham 3]

I know it is wrong.. soo wrong.. and I should not be comparing what is happening for me to what is happening to my daughter.. butttt. DAMMMITTT ALLL.. tonite is just the straw that breaks the camels back..

BRIDZILLA... just called all googlie.. . told/ asked me to look at my email... she and her honey just booked their Honeymoon... .. They are going to drive down to San Francisco.. and stay for 3 nights at the Ritz-Carlton SanFrancisco.... soooo Jealous.... ..

I am really feeling wronged ... I know I should be happy for her.. but.. damit. I have been with Jan Longer than she and hers.. granted he is here .. and Jan is "some guy" from the net..... apples to oranges... ..

I dont wish to at all. ever lessen the joy my daughter is having right now.. so i smile and stay excited for her... I dont want to have any resentments.. and what she is going thru is her time.. and its my time too to be the mother of the bride.... ...

Sorry cannot ###### to anyone here.. no one understands.. and if I ###### to Jan.. it only makes him feel bad... and its not his fault.. .. so instead.. ill just slink back to my room.. tail between my legs.. both jealous of her.. and angry at myself for being so.. .. .. .. dont know if i have any more tears for tonite... so will just hide for a bit..

At first I thought this was like a light hearted 'jealous' thing, but I am stunned at the stuff in red.

Suck it up! This is not about you! This is about your daughter! Your wedding will come when it comes, but for now, it has to wait. This is her time and she deserves you to be truly happy for her...Your daughter did not wrong you, do not take your frustration at this process on her, that is just mean and misguided. Why tears? Your daughter is happy and in love as are you. what is there to cry about??????

Sorry if I sound harsh, but I could either be honest or blow sunshine up your azz. *shrug* I went for honest.

You're like the unedited version of my thoughts!

[MichelleandCraig 1]

Well Janet..I'll try to be a bit less 'honest' here.

I do agree with Lisa and Sarah, that you should be happy!! that your daughter is happy...we always want the best for our kids, right? ..and it sounds like she's getting the best. I only hope she is as happy with her fiance/husband as you are going to be with Jan. However, I can understand how frustrated and disappointed you must be feeling. This is a long process, and certainly!!! no fun...it's possible to experience a bit of jealousy...I myself went through that here on the boards when we were stuck in the Nebraska forum waiting and waiting for NOA2(even tho our wait was 3/4/5/6 times longer than people in other service centers, it was MUCH quicker than others too,etc) You're just having a down day; don't beat yourself up for it. I'm sure you love your daughter, and somewhere down in there you are really pleased and happy for her...I hope so! :) Take good care of you, and here's hoping tomorrow is a better day for you...your time will come..and then you'll forget you ever felt this way. M.

edited because I left out a few words..doh!!

Edited May 30, 2006 by MichelleandCraig

[Welshcookie 17]

It can be hard to watch others happiness when you are feeling so down.....but try not to transfer your feelings of frustration onto your daughter's happiness. She is your flesh and blood....be happy just because she is happy.....isn't that what we all want for our kids

Hope you feel better soon

[Melo 1]

It can be hard to watch others happiness when you are feeling so down.....but try not to transfer your feelings of frustration onto your daughter's happiness. She is your flesh and blood....be happy just because she is happy.....isn't that what we all want for our kids

Hope you feel better soon

My sentiments exactly... hang in there Janet... your time will come too!!!

[Fandango 1,440]

Well Janet..I'll try to be a bit less 'honest' here.

Michelle, I dont think I like your implication...but whatever

Edited May 30, 2006 by LisaD

[MichelleandCraig 1]

no, Noooooooooo Lisa...the wink, the wink..... was just trying to be nice, since she seemed very upset, even if I don't agree with the reason why...that IS what I was playing off of but didn't mean it that way...sorry girl!!!! M.

[~Jess~ 0]

Hang in there, your time will come. be happy for your daughter!!

[aussiewench 9]

Hi Janet

I can see where you are coming from. You know its hard sometimes being a mom, because you dont give up the right to being human, a woman, especially one that is going through this whole immigration process that does send one into a spin over many things. I could tell by your post that you are torn between trying to be a supportive mom, happy for your daughter.....yet sad and upset because you are still dealing with all this and wanting your life stable and to be with the person you love. I dont see anything wrong in that and completely understandable. One cant help the way something makes them feel........as much as we love our children and are happy for them....we are allowed to be selfish in our feelings IMO...its not like you are mouthing off to your daughter about this.....you have come here to vent your frustration.

Having said that....share in your daughters happiness, as I know you will........and I hope it is not too long before you and Jan are united.

Lorelle

Edited May 30, 2006 by aussiewench

[TracyTN 237]

I do the same thing sometimes when people talk about things they are going to do with their husbands - even mundane things like shopping or seeing a movie. It makes me jealous that I don't have that luxury yet.

BUT I know you wouldn't trade Jan for anything, and that the love you feel for him far outweighs these slight inconveniences and letdowns. Your day will come, as will mine, so I can cope. I'd never trade Chas for anything in the world. I love him more than anything.

[babybunny 2]

I think you should have a good time with your daughter. you could take

your jealouse emotions and turn it to pure happiness for her. get involved in the planning and share

her happiness. when its your turn - you would want her to share in your happiness right?

that reminds me. there was a time my sister was getting married. here I was getting divorced.

let me tell you I got so involved in helping my sister with the decorations. Helping her with her

make up and what nots . it as the best time ever! I think me and my other sister were up all

night making them Hershey kiss roses and various snack trays ..

I ended up having a wonderful time. my sister looked so lovely. she looked like an oriental doll.

[JanaknJanet 0]

Thanks guys for all... even the lil azz smacking ha ha

yes of course I was feeling sorry for myself...

In no way would I ever ever ever take from my daughters happiness... She has not ever gotten my feeling on this... nor would I ever be telling her this..

Yes I am using this board as my venting... no matter how direct or honestly hurtful it can be at times but in the same way just as supportive..

we all have our days.. and nights.. etc... for some.. tears are the way to deal with it...

frek cant eat the damn chocolate.. or scarff down the quart of ice cream.. or .. hit my hand in the wall now could I... and .. i know the next response would possibly be.. why the hey would you do that... ? soo for me.. in my own little world.. my release is a few tears.. not tears of anything other than the frustration of it all...

I know my daughter is extremely excited... thank god she is.. if she wasnt i would be worried..

i just dont know sometimes how to respond to her.. off the wall tyrants. and bridezilla statements to me.. soo.. like a mom.. i bite my lip.. and continue to do as moms do.. giggle and go gawgaw on her plans.. ...

I have raised her for 25 of the 26 years she is alive alone as a single mom... I have done all for her.... and will continue to do so.. I never ask for praise.. never ask for kudoos.. it is who i am and what i am.. I am her mom.. her dad.. she knows that.. it is just exhausting this whole process.. .. wether its the wedding or other..

Continue to slap me back to reality... folks... Its a damn crazy world out there.. and sometime my glasses get a bit tinted unable to clearly see reality

[Welshcookie 17]

awwww.....glad to hear you feeling a bit more positive we all have 'those' kind of days