Something has been on my mind...what do you all think?

[MrsAmera 41]

One of the biggest arguments about linking them together is the greater likelihood of the systems being hacked. If there are seperate systems there is some back up - if one gets hacked 2 others are clear. If it was one giant database and it were hacked then they would be really up a creek.

[Sandrila 1]

I think alot of us are just so strung out and depleted...frustrated, etc

I agree that "trying" to remain unemotional with inquiries and contact with gov't officials is important

I have succumb to the fact that we are just a number, nothing more, even after having paid them as much money as we have for all this

i have resorted to the fact that we have NO CONTROL, we are at the point now that there is nothing more we can do

JUST WAIT....AND PRAY

[allousa 1]

so you dont think that being separated from your loved one, whether married or engaged, would take it's toll on a relationship?????

I think even the best, most solid of foundations could surely be shaken a little by this kind of turbulence.

We are only humans not super humans

and certainly to go to the extremes that most of us have been forced to persue is too EXHAUSTING and even DEGRADING to a point of having to beg and plead

I think alot is easy to say when you have your loved one with you.

by mistake I just want to correct myself...we submitted all the proof that WAS NOT LOOKED AT by the CO at the time of 2 interviews...I can only assume a marriage certificate is sufficient after an online courtship

There are many of us who have been at the point where you are and I KNOW it takes a toll on a relationship. Hicham and I WERE married when we were going through all of this and I can't tell you how many times I thought I just couldn't take it anymore. Those were the times that Hicham lifted me up and gave me the strength to keep going. I would also try and make a trip over once a year to be with him. It got even harder once our son was born and harder still when my father passed away. It ABSOLUTELY IS exhausting and can tear you apart mentally.

Please keep in mind that my husband's file was in AP for over a year, that doesn't even include the wait for other interviews.

This website is an incredible source of support and information. I promise that we aren't trying to make less of your situation or the pain that you are going through. We are just trying to help by our experiences.

[allousa 1]

I do see your point Amera.

I don't even know what would work to make it better. Do you?

[MrsAmera 41]

In one of my grad courses we discussed it. The cost of combining all systems would be incredibly high. And the threats are huge. One of the biggest issues that exists is inter-agency communication. There is too much bureaucracy, however when trying to cut bureaucracy they end up adding more. I think a comprehensive immigration overhaul would be needed but even if it were to happen next week it would take 5-10 years to revamp the whole thing....

[allousa 1]

And with the current state of the country's economic situation, I don't think the Immigration System is even in the Top Ten List anymore!

[morocco4ever 63]

I do believe that the CO's become very hardened. I do believe they see so much fraud that it is easy to doubt all applicants. In ways I don't blame the consulate for what happened to us because I am sure they get to the point that they are so busy that they just throw it back thinking that if it is fraud that it won't make it back. I do sympathize with the difficulty of their job. This would not be a responsibility I would want to take on. But there should be some sort of accountability for their actions in order to never give them the opportunity to become either lazy or hard nosed.

Like Allousa said, I am to worn to fight any more. I know that is hard to hear for those that want action, but you will all understand when you get to the point we are at. We are plain traumatized. I do feel a responsibility however to come to the aid when I see someone go through this. When I was denied I couldn't find any assistance anywhere from anyone for several months. It seemed that no one had gone through that. I don't want anyone to have to feel lost like I felt.

[Elnady79 0]

Good Day All:

I too feel the frustrations of this visa process. I spent ten minutes on the phone yesterday speaking to someone that, in my opinion, was an empty empathizer and never fully answered my questions at the USCIS. Realize, if only your spouse or fiance was not from a country of question, like the Middle East, your visa process would go much smoother. I guess I feel more or less discriminated against and not afraid to say it like it is. As a woman, that is Black and now also a Muslim, I am feeling more discrimination.

I agree that we need to support one another. Regardless how few we are in numbers, we represent a mighty group when we are together that can make a huge impact. We are a community and there is no need to feel less than that or doubt our ability to be heard or be catalysts of change. This is faith in action! I fully believe in God! Also believe that He gives us the things we need and the things we desire. With the gift did not come the easy road that we can always travel with the least amount of resistance. If you believe in your relationship whether it began in person or online, it is worth the struggle. We have to stand up and fight for what we believe in. We believe in our love. Please know that persistence is something that cannot be ignored.

Today will be my first of many corresponding moments with my senator. I vow to stand up and do the best I can to change my situation with the help of prayer and belief in God. Anyone that needs help, I will try to help and encourage everyone to not lay down on this matter. We cannot be defeated unless we give up. Change has not come in this country from only trying once. Take care for now.

My opinion of the Immigration System and it's process is that it is archaic and broken. I also think that the applications that are submitted have overwhelmed a system that simply cannot process them. I have always said why can't a system be set in place much like Fed Ex or UPS uses and assign a file ONE number that can be tracked much like a package.

Hicham's file had is Alien Number at one point, then a number assigned by the NVC, that changed when it got to the Consulate in Morocco because I was told it was an I-601 waiver that would go through Homeland Security in Rome. We actually have 3 storage boxes of his paperwork for his Immigration case.

IMO, the problem is much larger than foreign Consulates. You have offices, like DoD and Homeland Security and NVC, that don't always link their info or have a centralized computer system. I don't know now how the system could begin to be overhauled and updated...and the cost!

I put this right up there with the state of our economy and health care. Can it be fixed? I just don't know.

[Martiniolive 0]

The burden of proof exists on us to prove our relationship and their right to come. Sort of like a job interview - you have to prove you're the right candidate.

I'm sorry, did you really just go there? Do you have any idea how many of us DID have proof, and they refused to look at it? You really hit a nerve on that one. What a slap in the face to me, Martiniolive, Brnk, Chi, Kiya, etc. You don't know our specifics, so perhaps you should think about that before you accuse people of not being prepared.

Yes it is their job, but they suck at it. How many make it through first time just to leave their spouse at the first opportunity? How many of us that were initially denied are still with their spouse? Go take a look at the divorce forum and you will see how many made it through easy, then after they get their GC all of a sudden their spouse has changed. Coincidence?

Yes their job is a hard one, but if it isn't working they need to face the fact and find a new strategy.

morocco4ever please don't be upset at what she said sweetie, I know what she means by her words and it is too true. You did nothing wrong! I remember when I was getting divorced from the father of my children, he was ruthless and kneww all the strategy's to fight me in court. I was passionate about my freedom and children and fought with tears and pleading and I got nowhere!!!!! It was so painful and humiliating "just like this fight now!!!!!" But than I sucked it up and LOOKED deeply at why he was winning and I always lost and learned "the laws and rules" of the fight in a beurocratic way and I finally got somewhere. This stupid process is so complex we are all like law student who get "slapped down" all the time. I don't know what the solution is but....I know I am thankful to all of you "faceless friends" who are a click away...for all of your help, encouragement, cheer leading, you have picked me up off of the ground more than you know!!!!!!! And when my husband and I are finally together...where ever that will be...we will follow your example and help new people to be strong too...THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

[morocco4ever 63]

The burden of proof exists on us to prove our relationship and their right to come. Sort of like a job interview - you have to prove you're the right candidate.

I'm sorry, did you really just go there? Do you have any idea how many of us DID have proof, and they refused to look at it? You really hit a nerve on that one. What a slap in the face to me, Martiniolive, Brnk, Chi, Kiya, etc. You don't know our specifics, so perhaps you should think about that before you accuse people of not being prepared.

Yes it is their job, but they suck at it. How many make it through first time just to leave their spouse at the first opportunity? How many of us that were initially denied are still with their spouse? Go take a look at the divorce forum and you will see how many made it through easy, then after they get their GC all of a sudden their spouse has changed. Coincidence?

Yes their job is a hard one, but if it isn't working they need to face the fact and find a new strategy.

morocco4ever please don't be upset at what she said sweetie, I know what she means by her words and it is too true. You did nothing wrong! I remember when I was getting divorced from the father of my children, he was ruthless and kneww all the strategy's to fight me in court. I was passionate about my freedom and children and fought with tears and pleading and I got nowhere!!!!! It was so painful and humiliating "just like this fight now!!!!!" But than I sucked it up and LOOKED deeply at why he was winning and I always lost and learned "the laws and rules" of the fight in a beurocratic way and I finally got somewhere. This stupid process is so complex we are all like law student who get "slapped down" all the time. I don't know what the solution is but....I know I am thankful to all of you "faceless friends" who are a click away...for all of your help, encouragement, cheer leading, you have picked me up off of the ground more than you know!!!!!!! And when my husband and I are finally together...where ever that will be...we will follow your example and help new people to be strong too...THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!

The part bolded brings tears to my eyes. Thank you. I hope your time to be the one guiding will come soon.

[Martiniolive 0]

And with the current state of the country's economic situation, I don't think the Immigration System is even in the Top Ten List anymore!

Plus we are a good sourse of income for the gov. We are all in this for at least $1000 ea. plus we support the airlines industry....we are like a cash cow..it's gov. prostitution thats legal! LOL

[Imua 0]

And with the current state of the country's economic situation, I don't think the Immigration System is even in the Top Ten List anymore!

Plus we are a good sourse of income for the gov. We are all in this for at least $1000 ea. plus we support the airlines industry....we are like a cash cow..it's gov. prostitution thats legal! LOL

Not to mention the telecom industry, FedEx, DHL....

I'm glad to see you can laugh during this tough time!!

[SimoAndYvette 0]

See Ladies....this is what I am talking about!

In my original post, I asked for us to unite FOR one another...WITH one another; to let our voices be heard.

Look at how much passion and conviction was used in these responses.....we can and should do it in other venues.

For awhile it seemed like so many were getting truly upset with each other or even the prospect of doing this....I am sorry for that! That was not my intent at all.

I realize our process is in AP - I was not comparing ours....I am, of course, outraged at the process as a whole, but lately, when reviewing the posts and timelines, it just seems like there is one horror story after another....it just continues on...and on! How can there be NOTHING that can be done?

The process and steps are what they are! You have to do what you must. However, just like we have to complete the necessary steps in PROVING or VALIDATING our relationships...those people who are reviewing, assessing and making life-altering decisions in an entire families lives, should also have guidelines that they must follow also. There are so many who abuse the system for their own gain and/or selfish and personal reasons...why do we have to accept that?

You cannot tell me that these two women in Casablanca should be allowed to ask such a perverted question as they did to mariniolive's husband? Seriously! Why did he not look for a MAN compared to meeting his U.S. wife??? Come on!!! When I asked an immigration attorney that I have been consulting with, why they are not allowed a translator, he stated they are and that it is not legal for them to be withheld one. He stated the same thing that I was wondering, what if they understand a question to have two possible answers? That can mean the difference of a visa or no visa. I was sooo thankful that my husband speaks English so well; but what of those that do not?? That should be taken into consideration; just because the interviewer does not understand them perfectly, does NOT mean the two IN the relationship do not communicate perfectly with one another.

Anyway, these are only a couple instances, and there are SOOO many more.

Would it hurt to try this? We are here as a sounding board for one another anyway, why not be a voice also?

Just a thought....

Have a wonderful night! Yvette