Holy c$@&!

[Dakine 26]

Get all the evidence that you married in good faith from your wife NOW. People atitudes can change during the divorce process.

[bhajishah 4]

Im not assuming..if that the case she found someone else then why??? is she that selfish or did he push her away....either case whining not going to make it better.. be a grown azz man deal with it and dont worry the outcome..

[Tom_Jim 40]

Here is her deal:

She wants me to be happy, and I think, we will always have some sort of "love" for each other. Currently, she feels like she's trapped, and trust me, I know how that is. I don't want to suffocate her, and having an unhappy partner is NOT good.

She wishes to be "free", is the word she used. If that means seeing other people, moving countries, that's her thing. It's hard enough for us right now, that I don't want to probe further, because she's already MADE her decision.

We didn't have a formal wedding, and we were planning to have one in Cape Cod, MA, her home town, and one in Manila. That's down the tubes. Also, we eloped when we got married. We were going to announce our wedding to everyone at sometime, but now, this has happened.

She assured me again last night, that she would do everything that she needed to help this process go as smooth as possible for us.

[russian_armenian 4]

One of the reasons I-751 could be denied is when family is not aware about marriage.

I am assuming that her family is in the dark...Immigration might just call.

Here is her deal:

She wants me to be happy, and I think, we will always have some sort of "love" for each other. Currently, she feels like she's trapped, and trust me, I know how that is. I don't want to suffocate her, and having an unhappy partner is NOT good.

She wishes to be "free", is the word she used. If that means seeing other people, moving countries, that's her thing. It's hard enough for us right now, that I don't want to probe further, because she's already MADE her decision.

We didn't have a formal wedding, and we were planning to have one in Cape Cod, MA, her home town, and one in Manila. That's down the tubes. Also, we eloped when we got married. We were going to announce our wedding to everyone at sometime, but now, this has happened.

She assured me again last night, that she would do everything that she needed to help this process go as smooth as possible for us.

[bhajishah 4]

still not defining trappped and free.....so what is the real problem and if it can be fixed.. selfish people turn love on et off like faucets.. begin and end relationships @ slight of the hand..either you are unberable azz or she is very selfish and didnt really care about you..

[britty 1]

Im not assuming..if that the case she found someone else then why??? is she that selfish or did he push her away....either case whining not going to make it better.. be a grown azz man deal with it and dont worry the outcome..

You have no idea what the background here is and there could well be more than the TWO options you suggest. When you can only offer a limited and unhelpful response its normally better to stay quiet.

[chuckb 0]

Im not assuming..if that the case she found someone else then why??? is she that selfish or did he push her away....either case whining not going to make it better.. be a grown azz man deal with it and dont worry the outcome..

You have no idea what the background here is and there could well be more than the TWO options you suggest. When you can only offer a limited and unhelpful response its normally better to stay quiet.

Interesting, this is not a "usual" situation. Filipino Guy with an American Gal. I would say that this point the situation is not much different than most "American" disputes. Given the cultural differences, I can very well understand the confusion as to how to deal with it. This guy asked for some insights, and I'd say he got some.

I don't have any answers, I've been down the road myself. I'd suggest that this guy deserves some understanding, but asking for an answer to "American" romance is way beyond me. That is part of the reason I'm married to a Filipina!

[bhajishah 4]

Being realistic..they say love and yada trapped yada thats unrealistic terms IMO in a marriage and according to our first ammendment im entitled to my opinion..unless youre the babaji of this website.. dont be telling me what to do K..

[bhajishah 4]

well put chuck..cultural differences aside and respect in..keeping a simple husband-wife roll, enjoying each others company, not worrying about mine mine mine money etc..and being each others companion is much more refreshing than "i neeed space" "im trapped" and all that negative thinking..Imake almost 3 times more my husband.. put in joint account call it ours. he sends money to his family ..still i enjoy simple pleasures cleaning out a closet, cooking, gardening.. way more than the money. I enjoy watching movies, travel with him and experiencing his culture and things he shows me. and teaching and showing him. take care of each other ..selfsih thinking leads to being bitter and alone. Abuse and being selfish is what it usually the bottom line of relationship killer..another man for her..thats selfish and emotionally abusive....so whateer the case there it is IMO. now he has either got to fight and learn what the problem is and try to fix.. or move on...why get depressed over another persons abuse he deserve better

[Tom_Jim 40]

Im not assuming..if that the case she found someone else then why??? is she that selfish or did he push her away....either case whining not going to make it better.. be a grown azz man deal with it and dont worry the outcome..

You have no idea what the background here is and there could well be more than the TWO options you suggest. When you can only offer a limited and unhelpful response its normally better to stay quiet.

Thanks Britty. One always takes the risk of having people opine when they miss the mark, and I appreciate the backup! I won't address the impertinent and erroneous assessment of "that one". (----> points to you know who.)

Anyhoo. USCIS may think that it wasn't bona fide if the parents didn't know, but that certainly isn't grounds for denial. We've been partners for 6 years, I know their family VERY well, she knows mine. The reason why we haven't told anyone, is because of the cultural differences and timing. We wanted to start our lives together at the outset, by getting married, keeping a home (which we have for the past 6 years). There are so many personal issues revolving around our decision, but this marriage couldn't be more "bona fide" as it is.

I really appreciate all the intelligent responses so far, it's been very helpful.

I'm curious to see if anyone has gone through something similar, and to see what their experiences were.

[maliciant 7]

Being realistic..they say love and yada trapped yada thats unrealistic terms IMO in a marriage and according to our first ammendment im entitled to my opinion..unless youre the babaji of this website.. dont be telling me what to do K..

You have your opinion, and the other poster thinks your opinion sucks, that's their opinion that they are just as entitled to have, that's the way "rights" work, if your "rights" take from my "rights", then it's not a "right". They did not tell you what to do, only their opinion of what you should do... but in the end posting here is a priviledge to us all, Captain Ewok is the only one that truly has a right to express himself here, he just happens to let the rest of us do it too, thanks Captain for being so kind

Editted to fix a retarded typo, you are only as smart as your dumbest typo!

Edited October 17, 2008 by maliciant

[russian_armenian 4]

I hope so. Hope that USCIS is looking at the whole picture. I tried to say that it is a red flag accourding to USCIS (other flags are age difference more than 10 years, very different cultures, immigrant is not speaking English, previous marraige to immigrant of USC, immigrant in removal procedings, etc). I just dont remember all flags. I guess they dont deny but call for an interview/investigate/transfer to fraud unit. Everybody's circumstances are different. I have not implied that marraige was not bona fide just due to the fact that wife's family does not know about the marriage for such a long time. It has no consern to me. Just wanted to give some info which might help to have a strategy if asked about family.

Anyhoo. USCIS may think that it wasn't bona fide if the parents didn't know, but that certainly isn't grounds for denial. We've been partners for 6 years, I know their family VERY well, she knows mine. The reason why we haven't told anyone, is because of the cultural differences and timing. We wanted to start our lives together at the outset, by getting married, keeping a home (which we have for the past 6 years). There are so many personal issues revolving around our decision, but this marriage couldn't be more "bona fide" as it is.

I really appreciate all the intelligent responses so far, it's been very helpful.

I'm curious to see if anyone has gone through something similar, and to see what their experiences were.

[Jasman0717 9]

I am sorry to hear this. Have you been able to discuss any details with her?

[nunyab 0]

I don't know if it makes a difference but are you focusing as much on reparing your marraige as the immergration issue?

[mellowgeorge 1]

I don't know if it makes a difference but are you focusing as much on reparing your marraige as the immergration issue?

it sounds like they've given up on that.