Dealing with Delays

[jen&darcy 0]

  Luis&Laura said:

I think I could handle waiting if I knew something was being done and that my petition was being viewed at all. It´s this lack of info and knowing nothing is happening in USCIS that´s killing me. ´Cus I know that once they restart processing, there´s still A LOT of cases ahead of me, when I were so close to being adjudicated ourselves.

Agree! For me, its the not knowing what the next step is.

[Ladylethal 12]

Me too. That´s the worst part.

[MrsWhizz 0]

I find this site to most helpful. I have been really depressed since my his last visit. I have been locking myself away from everything but saving money and working. Yet, I come here everyday and I see people that give me hope. I know we all had a a vague idea of what we were getting into when we came into it, but nothing really prepares you for what really happens. Thanks for posting that. If you ever need to vent, I have an ear......any of you.

[KaiserD 12]

  Quote

gree! good.gif For me, its the not knowing what the next step is.

Indeed, that is the part that has totally ruined my diet lol I was doing so well up until then, then I consumed a whole box of belgian pralines by myself

Just gotta keep distracted and look on the bright side I guess?

[aussiewench 9]

Found this and it gave me a chuckle

[Ladylethal 12]

That´s awesome Aussie!

[Ahmedabugh 0]

  Jaci said:

I know the recent snafu with IMBRA has caused delays for some of us, and also concerns for new petitioners, perhaps uncertain how to proceed. There are many of us affected by other delays as well, stuck in AR or other "black holes", where we are delayed for an indefinite period of time.

Most of us are so used to having at least a modicum of control over our lives, and as difficult to accept as it is that we will have to wait in the first place, additional unspecified delays seem intolerable. Still, many of us have faced them, or are facing them, and are determined to carry on best we can.

So, how does one go about doing that?

In my experience, it is completely natural for people to experience varying degrees of any of the following: anxiety, sorrow, loneliness, anger, frustration, helplessness, and depressed feelings. Those feelings are real, and have real causes. Having no control over one's circumstances, while still being responsible for holding it all together, is a recipe for stress and stress related illness. This is a real and unavoidable circumstance that we are all, at times, put through by our fabulous immigration system. However, we can minimize the damage to our psyches by accepting that while all this is true, and that life may in fact be unfair, there are other equally true and valid perspectives one can take on the situation, which are potentially of great benefit psychologically, physically, and for the health of the relationship at stake.

One way or another, most of us are determined that we will build a new life together with our loved one, no matter what. If it happens sooner, or happens later, somehow it WILL happen, and it will be SWEET.

We have every right to be embittered by the inefficiency (and sometimes outright errors) of the system. But at the same time, focusing on that bitterness does nothing for your heart, your health, your sanity, or your relationship. Wanting to ensure your future, you are trying to do things the proper and right way, but don't let the many pitfalls of that "right way" steal your happiness, because it doesn't have to. Staying connected with your loved one helps a lot, even if you're crying on each other's virtual shoulders. Sharing your hopes, dreams, and even fears and sadnesses can still bring you closer together, even when you're far apart, and it serves as a reminder that the reason you subjected yourself to all this in the first place is because you were lucky enough to find someone worth going through all of this for, or you certainly wouldn't be doing it.

That lump in your throat when you find out things aren't going your way,...it's temporary. (For those of you thinking... yeah but I've had it for such a long time... I understand, but bear with me) In that day, when you are finally reunited, as many have said here at VJ, you won't be focused on the pain and frustration of the waiting and uncertainty you suffered through to get there. I think it's important to keep your eye on the prize, remind yourself that "this too, shall pass". And not only will it pass, but something good will come out of it.

Wow, that is wonderful, I really liked this article, especially the last paragraph

Good job

[babybunny 2]

  aussiewench said:

Found this and it gave me a chuckle