Islamic marrage in Morocco

[nunyab 0]

poor thing i hope we didn't scare her

[AlHayatZween 2]

At any rate, whenever I go to Morocco (I've been 3 times), we have the option of staying with the family, but we don't. We rent a flat. It's cheaper than a hotel, fully furnished, and noone to answer to...

Oh, yes... good point... i had forgotten about renting a flat. That is always a good possibility, too.

I'm confused!

She posted today that she decided to go to Morocco and have an engagement party, not get married...But the replies are cautioning her about her rushing into a wedding. Maybe I'm missing something. Could be I didnt' read her reply correctly.

Yeah, we are all just planning her life out for her.

Yes, we are just planning her wedding and trying to get her to take a trip to Dubai...

Oops...

[Imua 0]

Arranged marriage is the norm in Nepal as well and we got married quickly after our first real date(with his father present ), although we did actually meet the year before - sadly we don't have any proofs of the time we met in June '06 except for passport stamps etc showing I was in Nepal at that time. All of the real evidence is from after our marriage in June '07 and I don't know how that will look to the embassy. We spoke on the phone a couple of times but I used phone cards and did not save our chat sessions at the time. If worse comes to worse his parents can write a letter I think. It gets me mad that if I were desi and younger they probably wouldn't care if we got married the day after we met, but since I am a white older American woman it is suspicious and we have to prove ourselves. After having one too many American men waste my time and here I am probably too late to have kids I can see why arranged marriage has its merits as long as the prospective bride and groom have veto powers, have a few dates before making the big decision and are not forced into it. If you are shy like me and Govi and have trouble meeting people then it is definitely attractive. I have seen enough marriages where both parties knew each other for years beforehand, nonetheless they divorced and some quick marriages have lasted for decades - so when I really had the chance to meet Govi and his family I decided to take a chance. Since then I have felt like our marriage is growing stronger but of course the test will be when he is here and adjusting to USA life.

Good luck to the OP in whatever you choose to do.

[morocco4ever 63]

I noticed she mentioned engagement party...but one time, two times? Both still seem a little much to me but oh well! But apparently there are those who work out great from meeting once or twice. I'd like to see how many DON'T work out. I bet you that number is much, much higher. But I guess no one here wants to acknowledge that fact.

Yes there are 2 that have worked out that have responded. But I did recommend getting to know each other since I agree that it is risky. Not just for the time to get acquainted, but to appease the consulate. Sara mentioned as well that it does sound crazy. It may have worked for us, but lets face it, you are better off spending as much time as possible together before making the commitment.

On the other hand, the culture we married into seems to believe that you get married first, then get to know each other. Weird isn't it.

Ain't that the truth..

It's interesting..at a book discussion I led once at work, we read The Namesake and talked about this very thing. We were talking about arranged marriages versus choice marriages and it was interesting that based on characters in the book, and based on people's experiences that they shared at the discussion, that the arranged marriages seems turn have a better success rate than the others. Not that we're talking about arranged marriages here, and this is not scientific evidence at all...but it was still an interesting thought to the contributing factors....

I was thinking about this. I wonder if the reason is that we, having fallen in love beforehand, have certain expectations on what our relationships will be (ie romance). But since there is no love to begin with their only expectation is for the man to work and bring home money, and for the woman to take care of home and family. I am only guessing here, no real evidence.

[morocco4ever 63]

poor thing i hope we didn't scare her

we do that don't we?

[brnidokiegurl 0]

i think she is fine with the answers prob just reading and learning. All our cases together and things we know and have done would make a book we had a wholeeeeeeeeee 3 story house all alone both trips ha his sister, her husband and daughter just moved out and went to the family home....they were very accomodating but we were over to the family home for alot of meals and just visiting. I ask about the (being together) he said because he told them we would marry it was fine

Edited October 22, 2008 by brnidokiegurl

[morocco4ever 63]

i think she is fine with the answers prob just reading and learning. All our cases together and things we know and have done would make a book we had a wholeeeeeeeeee 3 story house all alone both trips ha his sister, her husband and daughter just moved out and went to the family home....they were very accomodating but we were over to the family home for alot of meals and just visiting. I ask about the (being together) he said because he told them we would marry it was fine

I see your case just got to the NVC brni. Is this the CR1 or K-3? It looks as if your time is FINALLY coming!