I hate the weekends!

[Whatznext 2]

Thanks for the positive words..........however I think since my husband is from Iraq our case will take as long as they possibly can. Otherwise I would be hopeful that he would be here by March. After reading the dates projected by the FBI that security checks should not have a back log by Febuary 2009 that gives me hope but then I see no one getting a visa so my hope is like a see-saw.

[JULIAFERNO 0]

I really don't think you guys will have a 1 year wait so I advise you not to even think about that. Normal cases take about 4-8 months so you are well in that time range right now, don't think about what-ifs. I on the other hand thought at 6 months it would be 16 months and doesn't seem so ridiculus now and that's because that embassy is jam packed or whatever the causes they like to give while being hyporites and giving visas to others who have waited a lot less in that embassy.

You guys will be fine, it will just take a few more months, 1-2 at most and you will get the visas.

Julia- I too have had a nightmare of a weekend. I don't even know how to become normal again. My husband is not doing well at all and his family is giving him problems, though not related to visa. I haven't let myself think about those sweet things like hugs and kisses, though they haunt me at night.

I really hope that we will rise above like the Phoenix and be able to tell success stories.

Love,

Tam

Gotta stay positive ladies. We WILL rise above and tell our success stories. The power of the mind is incredible. I tell myself these things every day... envision seeing him in NYC at the airport, see us together in our house eating dinner together, imagine us going to dance class together and see him drumming for you. Sometimes when I'm driving in my car i pretend he's sitting there beside me. SEE IT. Believe it. It will happen.

Here is something that is helping me take better care of my body... do any of you ladies want to have babies? Take care of your body for the health of your future child.

Hey guess what, we just made it through another weekend! We are one weekend closer to being together. Courage!

I have really been working on self-improvement over the last 4-5 months. I've never really been overweight, but I wasn't completely happy with my body and I lost about 12 pounds since June on Weight Watchers and going to the gym a lot more. I love my body now and that has helped me mood tremendously. I am also finally on the career path that I want to be - in grad school to become a teacher and will graduate this coming May. I decided that I wanted to learn how to hip-hop dance so I am taking a dance class. And I know I've certainly become a much more patient and devoted person through this whole process. You are right that it is good to not just wait in vain and to do something proactive in the meantime!

[Martiniolive 0]

Most of the American men I have met just did not have good values. I tried meeting men at church and they were not much different but they talked like they were different. I totally gave up even dating or trying to find mr right for me. Than my last single girlfriend met her husband online from canada. At first I thought she was crazy to do that but he seems to really love her and they have been married for 7+ years so I went online and my husband found me. But coming from canada was alot easier I think. I HATE the weekends too, I need work to keep my mind occupied or sleeeeep! I hope we are all with our spouses soon tooooo

[KandD 1]

Count me in too, ladies. I been waiting since July. It would be so much easier, if we had a timeframe to go by, I wouldnt mind the wait too much, if i only knew how long the wait was gonna be. I think the unknown is what makes us the most depressed.

[WonTanNara 0]

Most of the American men I have met just did not have good values. I tried meeting men at church and they were not much different but they talked like they were different. I totally gave up even dating or trying to find mr right for me. Than my last single girlfriend met her husband online from canada. At first I thought she was crazy to do that but he seems to really love her and they have been married for 7+ years so I went online and my husband found me. But coming from canada was alot easier I think. I HATE the weekends too, I need work to keep my mind occupied or sleeeeep! I hope we are all with our spouses soon tooooo

The last guy I dated before meeting my fiance was American. He had two kids from a previous marriage but would not have anymore. "No more kids, I'm not getting married again, and no more cats." What? No more cats too? That's the final straw. Well you can just take a hike, buddy, this cow ain't for free. I want a man who will commit to me, I'll always have cats, and I want a baby, too. I met my fiance when I'd given up on finding somebody I could completely be myself around. He's handled all my quirks with grace, and I seem to handle his really well, too. He can't wait to marry me, wants to have a baby, and he likes cats! He has no problem telling me exactly what's on his mind and I love the fact that there are no games with him. We can be completely open and honest without any of the weird hangups and timeline phobias that I've experienced with other men. Being with him will be so worth all this hassle.

Julia, nice work on the body! I think that is great. I've always been pretty fit but I've gained about 15lbs since we got put on AP. I reached a turning point today though and the fridge is stocked with fruit, veggies, and protein. Here's to staying positive...

[Nita&Assaad 0]

Hi everyone....This weekend was the same!!

The Blue angels were in town but it was like any other weekend without my Habibi

WOW This sounds like what I used to do (siting at a cafe, going to the movies with friends) before I even met my hubby... But now I hadly have any friends that I like to hang out with because all they want to talk about is how is your hubby, why is he still not here blah blah blah It's like I dont want to bring that topic up with them but they do, so that changes my mood. So I rather wait at home or work to keep busy...

Also everything changed once I met him, I had found the man of my dreams, the one I wanted to share everything with and vice versa but he was in a different part of the world! I would never had Imagine that would happen or that I would be here this morning typing alway about how much this process is affecting the quality of our lives!!! It's like we both are waiting for this fantastic news to come one day that we waited to hear, we can finally be together!!! I would move if I thought I could raise a family in Lebanon safely. But it the not knowing of what will break out that scares my hubby about I living there.... So another week has started and we still waiting!!!

Hope this week goes good for everyone, and lets hope this AP goes one day faster!!

Hugs

Nita

I hate the weekends too mainly cuz i know the likely hood of getting a noa2 is like NONE on the weekends ..........and his family is starting to question what is wrong with her family its taking so long has to be her family cuz its not us.....yup sure adds to the stress of all of this when u can not give a solid reason why its taking so long even to urself ................

sara

We live in America. We are American citizens. There must be something we can do about this...but sadly it seems post 9/11 so many of our civil rights have been stamped out. So many Americans willingly bowed down in the name of "freedom" and "fighting terrorism". The face of this country has changed. Big brother rules our lives, even our love. What can we do about it?

P.S. Sara - feel free to join this group, even though your fiance hasn't had his interview yet, you are in the same position that we are in...helplessly waiting in the dark. If I didn't have all of these amazing women here in this forum I would feel even more lost and alone, but everyday I sign in and read these posts and stories and words of encouragement and I feel a little better.

Let's all not forget to keep living our lives...even while we wait, as hard as that is. Take time to go for a walk and enjoy the leaves changing color, sit in a cafe, sip tea and read a good book, or have an evening out on the town with friends. We are still here, and we are still alive!

[*JG* 2]

I am going crazy. Every week ends the same way with the dreaded Friday where I become depressed and feel hopeless the whole weekend. I don't think I can take this much longer.

Me too. Mine is from working 2 jobs, 7 days a week.

I try not to dwell on it. Focus on anything positive you can come up with and keep yourself busy.

[Nita&Assaad 0]

Me too! I sleep until 10am then draaaaaag my butt out of bed to MAKE myself go to my Guinean dance class because it's the only thing keeping me going now. I come home, shower, then look around like... ok now what? I have so many things I could be doing, so many things I used to love doing, and now I have absolutely no motivation to do them because I want my honey here with me! My friends are all giving me a hard time saying 'you're not getting out of the house enough.' I don't wanna! This has been the longest nine months EVER.

I'm also tired of having to explain this. Why did I fall in love with somebody overseas? Can't tell y'all how many times I've been asked that one. Well who the heck can ever control who they fall in love with? Somebody actually said to me today, with a face that made me want to just shake her, "Well I HOPE it works out for you." I wanted to say you suck. Why would you say that? Of course it's going to work out, but one million people are applying for visas every year so we have to wait and wait and wait... Her response was (with that same face) "Well they all can't come here." Yeah actually, if it's family, then can, unless they've had previous problems, we just have to wait, so bite me. I didn't say bite me but I wanted to! Hahaha. The kicker is that her partner is also Guinean, but SHE didn't have to bring him here, he was already here. They didn't have to do the work, and I will say this, the two of them don't appreciate each other. They fight constantly. I hope when our men get here we can all appreciate each other and never forget what we've been through. Never take each other for granted. I know my honey and I will succeed because of what we're going through.

People are so narrowed minded and they just don't get it. Why can't ya fall in love with a good ol' American homeboy? No offense to the truly good American men out there, but guess what, been tryin' that all my life and it hasn't worked out so well. I found my fiance when I wasn't even looking and I'll wait as long as it takes!

Insh-Allah may we all be reunited very soon!

INSHALLAH ... thank you I like this last part you wrote!!

People are so narrowed minded and they just don't get it. Why can't ya fall in love with a good ol' American homeboy? No offense to the truly good American men out there, but guess what, been tryin' that all my life and it hasn't worked out so well. I found my husband that treats me how I should be treated when I wasn't even looking and I'll wait as long as it takes!

[*JG* 2]

We can do one thing very soon and that is vote on Nov 4th and make sure we dont put those in office that beleive in bigger government. They want to control everything in our lives (your mention of big brother).

I digress, too much politics going on now .

It does seem that behind the scenes there must be some information the embassy has been told to slow the process down, so many AP given recently (or my awareness has made me notice more).

sometimes I think the week end gives me a chance to relax not expecting the phone to ring or looking for emails but in the back of my mind is the fact that the embassy doesnt work. I just hate AP

Currently neither of the candidates give a ####### about immigration. . . . or have even an inkling of a solution. . .

My comment had more to do with big government versus smaller government. I dont like socialized government where we have no choices of our own

Just an FYI - the personal freedoms that have been taken away from us in the past 7 years have been under Republican party rule. Homeland security? Please don't push your politics in this forum. There is an off-topic section for that.

I never blame them anyhow. I blame all the fools who did something to warrent us having all these stupid rules.

[WonTanNara 0]

We can do one thing very soon and that is vote on Nov 4th and make sure we dont put those in office that beleive in bigger government. They want to control everything in our lives (your mention of big brother).

I digress, too much politics going on now .

It does seem that behind the scenes there must be some information the embassy has been told to slow the process down, so many AP given recently (or my awareness has made me notice more).

sometimes I think the week end gives me a chance to relax not expecting the phone to ring or looking for emails but in the back of my mind is the fact that the embassy doesnt work. I just hate AP

Currently neither of the candidates give a ####### about immigration. . . . or have even an inkling of a solution. . .

My comment had more to do with big government versus smaller government. I dont like socialized government where we have no choices of our own

Just an FYI - the personal freedoms that have been taken away from us in the past 7 years have been under Republican party rule. Homeland security? Please don't push your politics in this forum. There is an off-topic section for that.

I never blame them anyhow. I blame all the fools who did something to warrent us having all these stupid rules.

Did you know that prior to 9/11 that if the embassy did not receive a response from a security check request within 30 days then they had the authority to issue the visa? On one hand I feel like OH that would be so nice, we all would have been reunited so much sooner! On the other hand, that is the kind of thing that makes it easy for people with harmful intentions to get into the country. What a pickle...

[miamiwife 0]

WonTonNara and Julia--I am feeling inspired by both of you! I am going to start to exercise 30 minutes a day and hope my mood improves and my confidence comes back too. I lost all this weight for the wedding ceremony #1, then gained back weight depressed over never having wedding ceremony #2 in the U.S. for the past 15 months! Time to get healthy again.

[tammy2688 1]

...lol ur right if we wanna have kids we cant be so d@mn miserable all day...

THINK POSITIVE GALS!

one more day passed is one less day we will have to endure

Edited October 13, 2008 by tammy2688

[WonTanNara 0]

...lol ur right if we wanna have kids we cant be so d@mn miserable all day...

THINK POSITIVE GALS!

one more day passed is one less day we will have to endure

That's right Tam, we are one day closer!

I'm telling you ladies, you will feel better if you exercise. Getting started is the hardest part. I know first hand. I went to dance class today, sat outside in my car in the rain and almost turned it on to go home. WHY? What are you gonna do if you don't dance? You're gonna go home, be a couch potato and feel more miserable tomorrow then you do right now. One of my friends knocked on the window (a friend who gets it, incidentally) and just said "Come on Jen. Let's go." She knew exactly what I was thinking. FINE. I'm coming. I danced well, I had a great time, and I feel ready to sleep well and tackle tomorrow...

The nice thing about this dance is that it's Guinean. We have a Guinean dance teacher and Guinean drummers. It's a really nice connection back to my fiance, it's how we met, and he will be drumming for us when he finally gets here. It's motivation for me to keep going.

Anybody ever see that ridiculous commercial for the gazelle? It's this weird combination of a stepper and a treadmill, but the guy has this ridiculous wild-eyed look on his face while he's spastically swinging his arms and legs back and forth. I think it might be Tony Little, and he says....

YOU CAN DOOOO EEEET! YOU CAN DOOOO EEEET! LADIES, YOU CAN DOOOOO EEEEET!

[tammy2688 1]

"eeet"

[WonTanNara 0]

...lol ur right if we wanna have kids we cant be so d@mn miserable all day...

THINK POSITIVE GALS!

one more day passed is one less day we will have to endure

That's right Tam, we are one day closer!

I'm telling you ladies, you will feel better if you exercise. Getting started is the hardest part. I know first hand. I went to dance class today, sat outside in my car in the rain and almost turned it on to go home. WHY? What are you gonna do if you don't dance? You're gonna go home, be a couch potato and feel more miserable tomorrow then you do right now. One of my friends knocked on the window (a friend who gets it, incidentally) and just said "Come on Jen. Let's go." She knew exactly what I was thinking. FINE. I'm coming. I danced well, I had a great time, and I feel ready to sleep well and tackle tomorrow...

The nice thing about this dance is that it's Guinean. We have a Guinean dance teacher and Guinean drummers. It's a really nice connection back to my fiance, it's how we met, and he will be drumming for us when he finally gets here. It's motivation for me to keep going.

Anybody ever see that ridiculous commercial for the gazelle? It's this weird combination of a stepper and a treadmill, but the guy has this ridiculous wild-eyed look on his face while he's spastically swinging his arms and legs back and forth. I think it might be Tony Little, and he says....

YOU CAN DOOOO EEEET! YOU CAN DOOOO EEEET! LADIES, YOU CAN DOOOOO EEEEET!

Case in point... I did not exercise tonight and I feel like ABSOLUTE #######... so depressed, I want my honey to come home.