Are you really ready to be married, seriously?

[Skeeter211 2]

One advice though. . . never go to sleep with a disagreement and always tell him what you feel and your concerns. We Filipinas are known for being shy and likes to keep quiet even if we are boiling inside, don't do that. Americans are very open people and unless you don't communicate with them what you feel, they won't understand.

I must say this is the truest and most sound advice. Communication is the key to any good relationship. Many problems and disagreements can be solved in minutes if there is talking between partners instead of silence where hurt feelings can live.

Good luck!

Scott

[tzeksman 0]

One advice though. . . never go to sleep with a disagreement and always tell him what you feel and your concerns. We Filipinas are known for being shy and likes to keep quiet even if we are boiling inside, don't do that. Americans are very open people and unless you don't communicate with them what you feel, they won't understand.

I must say this is the truest and most sound advice. Communication is the key to any good relationship. Many problems and disagreements can be solved in minutes if there is talking between partners instead of silence where hurt feelings can live.

Good luck!

Scott

I agree, in fact it brings to mind a scripture found at Ephesians 4:26-27 where it says: Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with YOU in a provoked state, neither allow place for the Devil. Good advice in all relationships but especially within the family between husband and wife

[Eternal Love 2]

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

....first time to be married? why? are you thinking that you will be having more marriages in the future? First of all you have to reflect back that the reason why you're on the K1 VISA petition is because you wanted to get married....unless otherwise you have other reasons why you are here in the US.. That question....are you really ready to get married should have been resolved before you let your SO filed petition for you..and reassess youself if you are really meant for that marriage. BUT, somewhere along the way, it's the genuiness and profoundness of our love that will give light to our hearts and minds if we are ready for a commitment or not...and will of course, eventually save our married life throughout the days of lour lives... anyway..GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS TO YOUR MARRIAGE PEACE!

[bct 0]

Am I really ready to be married, seriously? whew! what a question...haha. I'll be getting married next week, and been here in the US for a month now. Sometimes, since K1 visa process is a little bit quick to be approved, some holders are just too excited to be with their fiance/fiancee, and of course with the thinking of getting married soon, but really, thoughts about marriage sometimes don't sink it yet till maybe few days before walking down the aisle.

A month with my fiance has made me realized things about being with a partner heading on to marriage and soon building a family. It's always a challenge, not bed of roses especially when u got to deal with lots of cultural differences, personality crashes and financial issues. I usually freak out when there are things here that I couldn't do anymore and I miss doing it so much. I felt I lost my independence. But that's one phase in the adjustment stage, just so thankful I have a very loving and patient partner. One thing that I think made me surpass all the negative thoughts that go along with the adjustment period is the love and commitment to make things work and be happy with it.

So going back to the question, am i ready to be married seriously?..... I have accepted that I'll be walking the aisle , heading towards a new life with a partner, leaving some things that I am fond doing, but that's a sacrifice I got to do coz I choose this path- am I nervous? nope, I will head on to this with courage and great hopes that this will be the path to the purpose of my being too- being with a partner, making him happy, build a family that will always contain the values of humility and love to God. I'm excited. I'll be getting married on Saturday! HAHHAHA! Wedding Jitters??!!!hmmmm, Maybe, just nervous about how will I look in the wedding dress- has to be good in pictures..hahhahahah:)

[njaxfl 0]

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

Getting married either the first time or not is a big decision a person could ever done to his/her life.Lots of adjustments and changes.Think about it a million times and if you think you will be happy and willing for a big change..go for it...Goodluck

[raquel_1208 1]

I thought about that a million times. I do have fears and they arent unfounded. But i dont fear the idea of getting married to my fiance, i was ready the moment i said Yes. Otherwise, i wouldnt have agreed to marry him. I came to realize its the changes and complications that will come after marriage that makes me nervous. Plus, i have to go halfway around the world to be with him makes it even more scary. But Im up for the challenge.

*sigh* I have to learn how to cook.... wash my clothes (his too).... wash the dishes...... CHORES . There are so many things i take for granted in here.

I think the best things to learn are cooking & driving if you do not know how to cook meals and drive a car. They have washing machines, dryers and dishwashers here in every household so those chores are basically easier when you get here. They used heat sa dryer, not like yong dryer natin diyan sa Pilipinas, and most of the clothes are not wrinkled pag natuyo na. Just put it in hangers or fold it nicely once its done.

And if its possible do not live with your future in-laws for a long time. If its just short and temporary that is fine. I have read posts here about some pinays not getting along with the mother in-laws and husband's siblings. Its best to maintain a good relationship with your husband's family because they are closest family you will ever have once you are here in the US and you can do that by living separately from them.

[Completely 3]

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

I basically trusted my instinct. I was with someone before and I had a lot of doubts and that tells me and I am not ready to get married that time, so I decided to leave my country.. Then I met my husband in just 6 months, I knew that right from there he holds a special place in my heart. I did not have any doubt at all or regrets.. I just knew it.. I was not even scared on anything..

If you can tolerate someone and willing to spend the rest of your life with someone then get married, if you have doubt and scared maybe you should think about it first.

Learning how to communicate and compromise is a big thing in marriage.. No one can accept who you are, it does not work that way, both of you should compromise and can adjust with one another... Love is just a great feeling but communication is the key to make the relationship better and stay longer.

Edited October 13, 2008 by Completely

[~bLairwhich~ 0]

I'm under CR1 status but anyway I've been there....I jgot married, anyway...marriage is a serious decision, it's just the beginning of the rest of your life. You'll get really scared, it's like in a roller coaster upside down if you happen to ride one (I'm talking about the extreme ride at MOA)...but soon you have to make up your mind, sometimes we forget this, we must decide not for your family, not for your friends, not for your neighbors but for yourself. Don't be afraid to back out if there's a litle doubt in your mind, marriage happens just once, oh yeah there's divorce and all but it's not meant to be that way, because when you decided to get married it is a promise to stay together forever.

Cheer up, prayers will help a lot.

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

[lovers_in_love 0]

I'm very thankful to God for answering all my prayers and for giving me a wonderful husband. Back then, we always talk about our future together, and what's ahead of us, until now.

What made me decide to marry him was right from the start, I have a strong feeling that his my soulmate. I never doubted my decision when I married my husband. And I can't imagine life without him.

Marriage life is a serious thing and has lots of ups and downs but never give up.

[/qu

When I got married to my husband 6 months ago it was the happiest moment ever. There are times that we had arguments(the jealousy).. But those things make us STRONGER and make us love each other more. For 6 months being married I never regret it and I know that I will never ever regret Beacuse before you decide to marry the man You already know/feel/think.. that YOU WILL BE HAPPY WITH HIM.. that you will solve all the problems together. As long as there are LOVE, RESPECT,RESPONSIBILTY and FAITH...You are to FACE the married life. e are very much happy with each other even though we are far apart but it buids are marriage life STRONGER, EXCITING....THanks to everyone!

Good LUck to all of us! To Our Visa Journey!

[nickoftime 0]

When I married my ex, that was also the question I asked myself then. And even when we were already about to sign the marriage contract, I was still undecided whether to sign the document or not. Of course I did. It took only about a minute to sign the marriage contract but it took me three years to have it declared a nullity and cancelled.

It's different with my present hubby. There was no question, no doubt. I knew I was ready and I wanted it, wanted him, for the rest of my life.

It's always good to have doubts as to the readiness of oneself to get married. You still have time to think about it and to see for yourself if you really should marry him. That's the fiance visa for, for both of you to know if indeed, you are meant to be together and marry each other.

[HoneySkin 0]

Thanks guys...such an inspiration to read all the posts you have shared here with me. Thanks for being so generous with sharing your experiences...reading them gave me a warm feeling inside...your many advises will truly help...thanks Ping, Completely, rheanick, Myla/jom, the pink ladies, bevs, loversinlove,blondeprinces,bigdaddy,nickoftime,blairwhich, raquel, rubchett, scott, tzekman, Richie.. i wish you all the best in your journey too...

Richie? are you in SLC as we speak? wanted to ask you a question. Can i send it by separate and private email to you?

[*JG* 2]

I thought about that a million times. I do have fears and they arent unfounded. But i dont fear the idea of getting married to my fiance, i was ready the moment i said Yes. Otherwise, i wouldnt have agreed to marry him. I came to realize its the changes and complications that will come after marriage that makes me nervous. Plus, i have to go halfway around the world to be with him makes it even more scary. But Im up for the challenge.

*sigh* I have to learn how to cook.... wash my clothes (his too).... wash the dishes...... CHORES . There are so many things i take for granted in here.

Hi Ping, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am used to doing household stuff and can manage on that. but the more delicate part is caring for the man and getting along with his family plus cultural differences. We were raised up in the same church but have really different personalities he is quite liberal and i am conservative, how should one handle that??

Lots of honesty, communication, and compromise. It's pretty typical of every relationship.

Don't overthink this. It's not like everything hits you all at once. As an issue comes up, you deal with it together. Soon enough, you are just rolling right along, comfortable with each other and the life you are making together.

[Gruntswife 0]

this is very true, communication is huge, honesty too. Do not keep secrets, I can't stress that enough. no skeletons in the closet, they will come out. Treat your spouse with the respect youd want in return, do not do something if you feel youd not want that person knowing about it. If you cant accept that, dont get married.

The biggest changes will be the cooking, cleaning, etc if you arent used to it, but its not hard at all. And having someone who is relying on you. Realizing that when something goes wrong you have to be mature about it, you can't run off, you can't hang up, you married them and its your responsibility to work through all problems with them, even if they are wrong, you're tired, moody, busy, hurt, etc. Be sure you are willing to work through anything that comes up, and be sure that your spouse to be is willing to put in as much effort as you are. As long as you're both on the same page and both have the same devotion to the marriage you don't need to worry.

[Brian-Charisma 0]

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

Hi HoneySkin,

Marriage for me is a decision. A decision that I want to spend the rest of my life with this guy. Since i'm the other half on the marriage, I should conciously decide that i shuold give efforts to make it work.

I asked my married friends before the same question you are asking in this thread. One friend asked me three questions.

1. Do I love him?

2. His face (husband) would be the last thing i would see in the evening and the first thing i would see in the

morning, can i accept that?

3. Am i willing to give more and expect less?

And if ready to say yes with doubts those three questions then I'm ready to get married. I guess you already know my response since im also undergoing K1 process.

Everyone will not agree when i mentioned that marriage is a decision. Deciding to get married is not purely emotional coz once the honeymoon phase is over and you come back to reality... the one thing that is left is your decision to stick with this guy and make the marriage work.

If youhave other questions, PM me.

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

Hello Honey Skin,

Marriage is lifetime a commitment before you say the big YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS.....

You need to think about it a million times if you are really serious and committed to him for better or worse and if you see your self spending the rest of your life with him and growing older together and you are willing to accept all the responsibility of having a family. Well you are not nervous because true love is that you accept him and love him without doubt the culture doesn't matter and marriage other side of the planet if your love is real.........

The married is life is not bed of rose's its take two people to tango and working together as one team and support to each other if one of you are fire it must be they other one is water....

Married relationship is give and take..........

IF YOU ARE READY EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY AND PSYCHOLOGICALLY AND LOOKING FORWARD THE RESPONSIBILITY AS A WIFE AND MOTHER WELL YOU ARE NOT NERVOUS BECAUSE YOU LOVE THE PERSON THAT YOU WELL MARRIED AND LIVING WITH HIM 7 DAYS IN 24 HOURS UNTIL THE GOLDEN YEARS OF YOUR LIFE

NO REGRETS AT ALL BECAUSE OF THE POWER OF LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hi HoneySkin! like you my 1 month had passed here and we are planning to get married on November..... i never have any doubts of marrying my fiance'...since i met him i really prayed for God's help for me to make a right decision that at the end i will never ever regret.....JUST ALWAYS PRAY TO GOD and no matter what ur facing right now, it will be over and he will answer you!! i'm also inspired reading all the reply here......I WANT TO SAY THANK U TO ALL VJ MEMBERS WHO ARE HELPING ME AND EVERYONE WHO NEEDS SUPPORT!!!!

[Honey&Sweety 1]

Hey K1 guys. This may sound serious and i hate drama sometimes, but are you guys really ready to be married as in seriously? How can you say that you are ready to be married? This will be my first time to be married and honestly, i am scared and nervous to death..do you feel the same?

Saying YES to my fiance`s marriage proposal is the best decision I have made in my life. I reflected and prayed for it before I came out of saying YES to Him. I asked myself with this questions......

Do I really love this guy?

Do I like this guy to be the father of my future kids?

Could this be the guy whom I wake up in the morning and still see the smile in my heart?

Could this be the guy whom I like to stay with until I get old?

Am I ready physically, emotionally, spiritually?

Am I ready to live with this guy for richer and for poorer?

Can I bear the life in other country which is totally different from my cultures?"

Can I be acquainted with the weather?

Love is the important factor why a couple enters in married life , for without love marriage will not last....! Marriage is a compromise decision and a marriage bless by God is indissoluble commitment .

Our love is base on love, loyalty and openness flourished by deep understanding and communication. I will marry my fiance because I love him and I want to be with him for the rest of my life......I know we may have some rough edges in our married life soon but as long as we love and we are ready to help each other and prioritize our future family we will be okay. With Him, I am ready to face any consequences in whatever trials may come our way... We lifted our Love to God , I know HE will protect our love.......

Good luck and happiness to all of us!