October 08 K1 Filers

[beans 7]

DavChels, I'm grateful we both speak english and talk every day (we even sleep with Skype running I'm unsure how common that is but I hope it is because I like waking up looking over and seeing him...maybe its creepy I don't know) but somedays yes I would really love to have a bowl of fruit loops for breakfast, a mini pizza for lunch, and fruit loops again for supper!

[winifredbee 1]

I'm worried about finally moving in with Jeremy. I mean don't get me wrong I love the s**t out of him but there's the little things. Like Sex and the City with single secret behaviours. And I've never lived with a boyfriend or anything of that magnitude and I like personal space so its going to be something that everyone has get used to.

Beans, I sympathize with your situation because I'm used to living by myself now - or before with my mom, and if I wanted to go out with my friends I just petty much told her. Basically, it goes from doing your own thing, eating cereal for dinner, etc., to having that "other half" to always think about when making decisions. It is tough, and nearly all newlyweds go through it. The good thing about being in a LD relationship is that you talk...A LOT. It is to the point now where Josue can tell just by how I say "hello" when I answer the phone what kind of mood I'm in. You two both speak English, but I know in my situation it has been a big help to learn how to express myself in a second language without gestures, signals, pointing, etc.

I wish you all the best in your "new" relationships!

You guys are cracking me up with the cereal for dinner. I have yet to met a man that doesn't like cereal for dinner. My older brother turned my on to the idea. Balvino is the second guy I have lived with and it is fun but don't be afraid to spend time alone. We are lucky to have two bathrooms so he uses the downstairs and I have the upstairs. I read an article about June and Johnny Cash and they say this helped with the space issue. Try to find a place you can be alone, even if it means going to the library. Beware of putting on weight. I always think 'lets grab a bite', 'lets make dinner'...at first everything evolves around food and the next thing you know you have put on 15 pounds. I keep saying this but I hear the first year is the hardest. It sounds like everyone is willing to do the work and that seems to be what makes or breaks a relationship....from my experience. It is all so exciting!

[winifredbee 1]

Atlanta was very easy for us and we only had a 2 hour layover. Between Balvino and the cat I was pretty worried but we were fine. Balvino says that most of the questions were in English but the guy spoke a bit of Spanish as well. Balvino is doing well. He does complain about the cold a little. The reviews of Atlanta on VJ are pretty good. Keep us posted I am so excited for you.

Hmmm, well Josue doesn't understand or speak much English at all, but usually in international airports like that there are always ones who speak Spanish. I do feel bad for all the countries - Russia, MENA, China, etc. - if the visa-holder doesn't speak English, b/c Spanish is at least a little more common to find someone to translate. On the flight I have been watching we will have a 3.5 hour layover, hopefully it will be enough time for us to grab a bite too. I've always connected at Fort Lauderdale, so I don't know anything about Atlanta. Hopefully we can find something in that time!

I will keep you all posted - I still have 11 days til the interview, and I assure you once the visa is in hand we will be in the internet b/c we will be searching for flights!

BTW I saw Spanish translators there and I heard a request for one on the PA, so it an option. Atlanta is great for food, lots of options. We had pizza. Balvino said he wasn't hungry but I ran and picked it up any way and he was grateful. He was just nervous I think.

[Cacerez 19]

You guys are cracking me up with the cereal for dinner. I have yet to met a man that doesn't like cereal for dinner. My older brother turned my on to the idea. Balvino is the second guy I have lived with and it is fun but don't be afraid to spend time alone. We are lucky to have two bathrooms so he uses the downstairs and I have the upstairs. I read an article about June and Johnny Cash and they say this helped with the space issue. Try to find a place you can be alone, even if it means going to the library. Beware of putting on weight. I always think 'lets grab a bite', 'lets make dinner'...at first everything evolves around food and the next thing you know you have put on 15 pounds. I keep saying this but I hear the first year is the hardest. It sounds like everyone is willing to do the work and that seems to be what makes or breaks a relationship....from my experience. It is all so exciting!

That's true - milk doesn't sit too well with Josue but he still likes cereal for an afternoon snack - he thinks it's worth it LOL! The bathroom idea is good - I'll have to keep that in mind with our house shopping! A lot of the older ones that are more in our price range, brick, in established neighborhoods, etc., have only 1 BR!!

About the food - very true also. Not a day passes when we don't ask each other what we have eaten, if we're hungry, etc., and we're always talking about going out together or cooking together, etc. But the good thing is that I am in love with my best friend and I'm sure that all of you are too!!!

Winifred, do you know how to tortillar? And good to know about the Spanish-speakers in Atlanta. I know in Fort Lauderdale even the announcements were repeated in Spanish, so I hope Atlanta is similar. SO MUCH TO DO!!

[mr and mrs 187]

I know when I saw Josue in December the first several hours were that way - is this real? It's been so long! You look a little different! But it does take time to adjust and I am sure that with the good foundation you two have you will be able to recover quickly.

jamie and i see each other twice a year for 6 weeks at a time. weve been together for five years. (the LAST 'visit' is in the past. i went in jan-feb. it is great to know that we will never have to do that AWFUL, messy, emotionally exhausting goodbye thing EVER, ever again. hallelujah!)

we are lucky enough to have figured out a way so that we had the chance to live together. we spent a year in scotland and we co-habitated very, very well. i LOVE living with him. he is tidy and neat and willing to share. i love how domestic he is. he is a brilliant partner and i am so very much looking forward to living with him again.

sometimes, when i see him for the first time, i am very shy. he does look a little different, his hair is longer or shorter. but i always remember when we hug and i smell him. i ADORE that sensation. and then after an hour or so, everything else falls into place.

[Lovesponge 0]

Hey guys I have not been here in a while so I hope the process is moving right along for everyone ( has M&M gotten an approval yet?.

I have my interview scheduled for April 27th so I am very excited to be going to Jamaica in three weeks.

[winifredbee 1]

Hey guys I have not been here in a while so I hope the process is moving right along for everyone ( has M&M gotten an approval yet?.

I have my interview scheduled for April 27th so I am very excited to be going to Jamaica in three weeks.

Good Luck!! Nice to see you again...I always loved your screen name.

[Laura+Tom 2]

Well our visa journey is over. Tom broke down at the weekend and said that he couldn't get married. He wasn't ready at all and that he still had unresolved issues to deal with which he doesn't want to put me through the misery of. He said the pressure of the wedding and visa process didn't help him either. To be honest I was doubting the whole marriage thing too. I am also posponing my trip until he gets settled and has a long hard think about what he wants. He's also having all sorts of problems with the delivery of his furniture and his pay.

I think we are just going to end up keeping the long distance going for a while, going backwards and forwards for trips. We'll end up getting married when we want to and not because we have to. It's a shame there is no other way. I am not keeping my life on hold though. I have done that for 2yrs, I have sacrificed relationships with friends and missed other opportunities. I'm going to get some independance by moving out of the family home and I'm also going to call up all the friends I haven't seen in months.

I probably won't be around much as reading this forum is painful and reminds me of what we could have had. I wish you all the best.

[shang 0]

Well our visa journey is over. Tom broke down at the weekend and said that he couldn't get married. He wasn't ready at all and that he still had unresolved issues to deal with which he doesn't want to put me through the misery of. He said the pressure of the wedding and visa process didn't help him either. To be honest I was doubting the whole marriage thing too. I am also posponing my trip until he gets settled and has a long hard think about what he wants. He's also having all sorts of problems with the delivery of his furniture and his pay.

I think we are just going to end up keeping the long distance going for a while, going backwards and forwards for trips. We'll end up getting married when we want to and not because we have to. It's a shame there is no other way. I am not keeping my life on hold though. I have done that for 2yrs, I have sacrificed relationships with friends and missed other opportunities. I'm going to get some independance by moving out of the family home and I'm also going to call up all the friends I haven't seen in months.

I probably won't be around much as reading this forum is painful and reminds me of what we could have had. I wish you all the best.

oh sorry to hear that...i hope that both of you will feel better, especially you laura...i wish you all the best and will overcome this one

[beans 7]

Laura,

That's unfortunate, but I'm happy you both came to the realization that now isn't the right time for you. I wish Tom and yourself a very happy future together in whichever path you may take.

[mr and mrs 187]

Well our visa journey is over. Tom broke down at the weekend and said that he couldn't get married. He wasn't ready at all and that he still had unresolved issues to deal with which he doesn't want to put me through the misery of. He said the pressure of the wedding and visa process didn't help him either. To be honest I was doubting the whole marriage thing too. I am also posponing my trip until he gets settled and has a long hard think about what he wants. He's also having all sorts of problems with the delivery of his furniture and his pay.

I think we are just going to end up keeping the long distance going for a while, going backwards and forwards for trips. We'll end up getting married when we want to and not because we have to. It's a shame there is no other way. I am not keeping my life on hold though. I have done that for 2yrs, I have sacrificed relationships with friends and missed other opportunities. I'm going to get some independance by moving out of the family home and I'm also going to call up all the friends I haven't seen in months.

I probably won't be around much as reading this forum is painful and reminds me of what we could have had. I wish you all the best.

aww. kiddo. im sorry.

im proud of you guys though. thats a hard decision to make. why push it when its not the right time?

(ive waited 5 yrs with jamie because i thought waiting was the right thing to do. it was hard. he wasnt able to really have a normal life. he has put a lot of things on hold. i was able to make a life and still have him long-distance. it was a long wait, but we know both now it is the right time.)

i think its very brave of you to have the perspective that i can hear (and have always heard) in your voice. and good for you for having a plan of attack already! yeah! go back and find those friends. ask for support, enjoying getting out on your own and finding out who you are! it will be great. and you and tom will be able to relax and not waste energy on this exhausting process.

please do let us know how you are doing. you are a lovely person and i will miss your posts. <laura-withdrawl>

keep your head up and remember you are young and smart and that you can do anything you want!

most sincerely,

lisabette.

Edited April 5, 2009 by mr and mrs

[Bintang 1]

Well our visa journey is over. Tom broke down at the weekend and said that he couldn't get married. He wasn't ready at all and that he still had unresolved issues to deal with which he doesn't want to put me through the misery of. He said the pressure of the wedding and visa process didn't help him either. To be honest I was doubting the whole marriage thing too. I am also posponing my trip until he gets settled and has a long hard think about what he wants. He's also having all sorts of problems with the delivery of his furniture and his pay.

I think we are just going to end up keeping the long distance going for a while, going backwards and forwards for trips. We'll end up getting married when we want to and not because we have to. It's a shame there is no other way. I am not keeping my life on hold though. I have done that for 2yrs, I have sacrificed relationships with friends and missed other opportunities. I'm going to get some independance by moving out of the family home and I'm also going to call up all the friends I haven't seen in months.

I probably won't be around much as reading this forum is painful and reminds me of what we could have had. I wish you all the best.

I am sorry to hear that Laura.Whatever the decision you both have made I wish you all the best and please never give up on your dream. May God bless you and Tom and He may lead the way you are two heading for.

[winifredbee 1]

Well our visa journey is over. Tom broke down at the weekend and said that he couldn't get married. He wasn't ready at all and that he still had unresolved issues to deal with which he doesn't want to put me through the misery of. He said the pressure of the wedding and visa process didn't help him either. To be honest I was doubting the whole marriage thing too. I am also posponing my trip until he gets settled and has a long hard think about what he wants. He's also having all sorts of problems with the delivery of his furniture and his pay.

I think we are just going to end up keeping the long distance going for a while, going backwards and forwards for trips. We'll end up getting married when we want to and not because we have to. It's a shame there is no other way. I am not keeping my life on hold though. I have done that for 2yrs, I have sacrificed relationships with friends and missed other opportunities. I'm going to get some independance by moving out of the family home and I'm also going to call up all the friends I haven't seen in months.

I probably won't be around much as reading this forum is painful and reminds me of what we could have had. I wish you all the best.

I wish you the best Laura. You have been invaluable to this site. I am glad to hear that you are taking the time and space that you need. Call those girlfriends and tear it up if that is what you feel you want right now. If you have a glass of wine make a cheers on behalf of your loyal friends here at VJ. You sound so grounded but I know that this is not easy. Take care of yourself and good luck with the move. New doors will open and it will be a different and exciting time.

[Cacerez 19]

Laura, I am sad and happy for you at the same time. I have read much worse reasons here on VJ for why people end their journeys, and really your's isn't and end but just a detour. Good for you both for being mature enough to make such a decision now and I wish you both the best.

[ruby_mtl 0]

Laura, I wish you the best and remember that things happen the way they do for a reason! I know it's a though situation, but I also think it's very healthy to step back and find yourself again. I truly hope that everything wil work out for you regardless of the outcome.

You will be missed by your VJ family!