Five Biggest Excuses That Ruin Your Dating Life

[one...two...tree 2,762]

(I realize that for most of us, this information won't be useful, but thought it's worth posting since it dispels a few popular myths about dating that seem to get echoed around here on VJ quite often)

Here are five of the most common excuses people make about their dating lives, along with proactive ways to overcome those excuses.

1. I Am a Victim of Geography. I hear it every day from clients: "There are no good men (or women) to meet where I live." The fact is that where you live has nothing to do with you remaining single. It's your mindset and your belief system that are the problem, because there are great people to meet everywhere. I've worked with clients all over the world, and no matter where they reside I have always been able to show them how to meet people. You need to go out there with a better attitude.

2. I Attract All the Wrong Singles. The reason why you're attracting the wrong singles comes down to the way you go out and meet singles. Look at your life a little more deeply. Are you going to the same places over and over again and always meeting the same type of people? Are you not making yourself available so it's too much of a challenge for people to meet you? When you go out on dates, do you tend to talk more about negative things than positive things? Stop thinking about the people you are meeting and start thinking about how you're meeting them. In order to meet different people, you need to change your life immediately. The truth is that you have the power to do something about it.

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need. Try setting goals for yourself, such as, "I'm going to talk to four new people today." Whatever your goal is, though, you need to make yourself reach it every day. going to start approaching you. You've got to make it happen. I know you're busy. We're all busy. Just remember that this is your dating life, and only you can make your dating life happen for you.

4. I Can't Meet Anyone Until... My favorite one of these is the "as soon as" person. "As soon as I lose weight I'll go out and meet singles." There are a million other phrases that could be filled in here: as soon as I get back in the gym... as soon as I finish this big project at work... as soon as my kids get older. When you start using "as soon as" excuses, you become the person who truly believes that life is going to change the second you accomplish other things. Get rid of the mindset that you will somehow be magically ready to meet someone "as soon as" you accomplish something else. Life is not about scheduling things like this and putting them on a timetable. You've got to be open to meeting someone all the time.

5. Only Losers Do Online Dating. I hear many singles who have never tried online dating tell me, "I don't want to do online dating. Online dating is for losers." This is a ridiculous statement. There are millions upon millions of people who use online dating. A client of mine once said to me, "I don't want to put my picture on my online dating profile because someone I know might see it and then they'll know I'm doing online dating." Let's put aside the fact that if someone sees your online profile, it likely means they themselves are doing online dating. Here again, there is an attitude problem at work. If someone has seen you online, then if they see you in real life they can walk over to you and say, "Did I see you on Yahoo! Personals the other day? I didn't know you were single." You've got to tell people you're single and, more importantly, stop feeling like there is something wrong with being single. Going online is making an announcement to the world that "Yes, I'm single, I'm available, and I want to meet someone."

All five of these excuses have one thing in common: They are all manifested inside your mind so you can justify not having to try, and to make you feel better about your unsatisfying dating life.What all of you excuse-makers need to realize is that an amazing dating life is not just going to magically happen to you. Just with anything else you want to achieve in life, you've got to put work and effort into meeting people. Let me assure you that your doorbell is not going to ring one day and your perfect mate will be standing there with a bottle of wine and takeout saying, "I've been driving around the neighborhood for the last 15 years looking for your house and now I've finally found you!"

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/...WxpZmUEenoDYWJj

[akdiver 3]

Thanks, mom.

[Completely 3]

(I realize that for most of us, this information won't be useful, but thought it's worth posting since it dispels a few popular myths about dating that seem to get echoed around here on VJ quite often)

Here are five of the most common excuses people make about their dating lives, along with proactive ways to overcome those excuses.

1. I Am a Victim of Geography. I hear it every day from clients: "There are no good men (or women) to meet where I live." The fact is that where you live has nothing to do with you remaining single. It's your mindset and your belief system that are the problem, because there are great people to meet everywhere. I've worked with clients all over the world, and no matter where they reside I have always been able to show them how to meet people. You need to go out there with a better attitude.

2. I Attract All the Wrong Singles. The reason why you're attracting the wrong singles comes down to the way you go out and meet singles. Look at your life a little more deeply. Are you going to the same places over and over again and always meeting the same type of people? Are you not making yourself available so it's too much of a challenge for people to meet you? When you go out on dates, do you tend to talk more about negative things than positive things? Stop thinking about the people you are meeting and start thinking about how you're meeting them. In order to meet different people, you need to change your life immediately. The truth is that you have the power to do something about it.

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need. Try setting goals for yourself, such as, "I'm going to talk to four new people today." Whatever your goal is, though, you need to make yourself reach it every day. going to start approaching you. You've got to make it happen. I know you're busy. We're all busy. Just remember that this is your dating life, and only you can make your dating life happen for you.

4. I Can't Meet Anyone Until... My favorite one of these is the "as soon as" person. "As soon as I lose weight I'll go out and meet singles." There are a million other phrases that could be filled in here: as soon as I get back in the gym... as soon as I finish this big project at work... as soon as my kids get older. When you start using "as soon as" excuses, you become the person who truly believes that life is going to change the second you accomplish other things. Get rid of the mindset that you will somehow be magically ready to meet someone "as soon as" you accomplish something else. Life is not about scheduling things like this and putting them on a timetable. You've got to be open to meeting someone all the time.

5. Only Losers Do Online Dating. I hear many singles who have never tried online dating tell me, "I don't want to do online dating. Online dating is for losers." This is a ridiculous statement. There are millions upon millions of people who use online dating. A client of mine once said to me, "I don't want to put my picture on my online dating profile because someone I know might see it and then they'll know I'm doing online dating." Let's put aside the fact that if someone sees your online profile, it likely means they themselves are doing online dating. Here again, there is an attitude problem at work. If someone has seen you online, then if they see you in real life they can walk over to you and say, "Did I see you on Yahoo! Personals the other day? I didn't know you were single." You've got to tell people you're single and, more importantly, stop feeling like there is something wrong with being single. Going online is making an announcement to the world that "Yes, I'm single, I'm available, and I want to meet someone."

All five of these excuses have one thing in common: They are all manifested inside your mind so you can justify not having to try, and to make you feel better about your unsatisfying dating life.What all of you excuse-makers need to realize is that an amazing dating life is not just going to magically happen to you. Just with anything else you want to achieve in life, you've got to put work and effort into meeting people. Let me assure you that your doorbell is not going to ring one day and your perfect mate will be standing there with a bottle of wine and takeout saying, "I've been driving around the neighborhood for the last 15 years looking for your house and now I've finally found you!"

http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/singles/...WxpZmUEenoDYWJj

Thanks Dad.. I am not thinking of dating someone anymore..

[NickD 203]

Ha, in doing some simple mental math, spent the majority of my life being single and was a hell of a lot better than being married to the wrong person. Can just say, the harder you look, the more difficult it becomes. But here is another way that works, that very special person is also looking for you, LOL, let her do all the work. But watch out for those that try to come into your life and take it over, plenty of those running around.

Feel it's a miracle to meet the right person. With a divorce rate of 50%, certainly plenty of choices, sure avoided anyone with a bunch of kids with joint custody, there goes your happy quiet home. And with kids, not only have to be attracted to your potential mate, but the kids as well if you want to have a family. For everything to fall into place, it is a miracle, but if it's not, stay single.

This is for people only that have been around the block at least once. The odds of finding a 40+ year old virgin are pretty nil. Ha, for first timers, the odds of finding a 14 year old virgin are also pretty nil.

[almaty 19]

6. well, i got the bullhead clap from a hooker...

Edited October 9, 2008 by almaty

[natty bumppo 297]

Thanks Dad.. I am not thinking of dating someone anymore..

Does your SO know they've been cut off ... no more dates?

[mawilson 2,133]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

[Peikko 1,575]

Dating = sex?

[LoriLawless 0]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

Seriously, what are you going to do in 15 minutes?

[mawilson 2,133]

Dating = sex?

Not even good sex, just a quickie.

What else can you do in 15 minutes?

[Amby 490]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

normally you're right but this time I think you're wrong...maybe they're saying if you add all of those minutes up for each day of the week that's almost 2hrs. so for 2hrs on one night of the week you can dedicate that time to a date

Dating = sex?

Not even good sex, just a quickie.

What else can you do in 15 minutes?

[mawilson 2,133]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

normally you're right but this time I think you're wrong...maybe they're saying if you add all of those minutes up for each day of the week that's almost 2hrs. so for 2hrs on one night of the week you can dedicate that time to a date

Yeah, that's doable. The problem is, 2 hrs a week is not enough for most chicks.

[Amby 490]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

normally you're right but this time I think you're wrong...maybe they're saying if you add all of those minutes up for each day of the week that's almost 2hrs. so for 2hrs on one night of the week you can dedicate that time to a date

Yeah, that's doable. The problem is, 2 hrs a week is not enough for most chicks.

depends if you want a gf or you want a piece of a$$

[mawilson 2,133]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

normally you're right but this time I think you're wrong...maybe they're saying if you add all of those minutes up for each day of the week that's almost 2hrs. so for 2hrs on one night of the week you can dedicate that time to a date

Yeah, that's doable. The problem is, 2 hrs a week is not enough for most chicks.

depends if you want a gf or you want a piece of a$$

Either way they want more than 2 hrs a week.

[LoriLawless 0]

3. I Don't Have Time for Dating. If you truly want to meet someone, you have to make time to do it. It's really that simple. Fifteen minutes a day devoted to going out there and meeting new people is all you need.

Seriously? 15 minutes a day is all you need? Skip dinner and a movie, go straight to the sex part, wham, bam, thank you ma'am, buh bye?

normally you're right but this time I think you're wrong...maybe they're saying if you add all of those minutes up for each day of the week that's almost 2hrs. so for 2hrs on one night of the week you can dedicate that time to a date

Yeah, that's doable. The problem is, 2 hrs a week is not enough for most chicks.

depends if you want a gf or you want a piece of a$$

Either way they want more than 2 hrs a week.

Who is "they"?